Weekly Prompt #15: What is your biggest fear?

@neatBlueberry5213 It sounds like the pattern of healing and growing, only to feel you haven't progressed as much as hoped, causes some worry. You're not alone in the challenge of change being nonlinear. What triggers feelings of falling back into old patterns provide some insight?

My biggest fear is losing my grasp of reality “going so deep into my own dark thoughts that I never return” and this is a great struggle for me everyday as I’m suffering from MAD along with a whole bunch of other undiagnosed mental illnesses that have been ruining my life everyday for it feels like forever but probably as long as I can remember, if anyone has any suggestions on how I can climb out of this head space would be greatly appreciated <3

@EverydayIsTheSame202 Thank you for sharing your struggles. It takes strength to live with mental illness each day. I can understand why losing your grasp on reality would be frightening. A caring community can make a big difference. What support systems do you currently have that help during difficult times?

dying..

it makes me go crazy, i can’t phantom it

i hope there’s something afterwards otherwise i feel like i’ll just go crazy

.. sorry for the ranting

@brightWheel5343 Thank you for sharing, wheel. It's understandable that thoughts about death can be frightening. How are you currently feeling as these concerns arise for you? You must feel quite alone in grappling with such existential questions. We are all here with you to listen to and to support.

I would have to say my biggest fear is drowning. Like it's something that is a consistent being in all of my anxiety dreams either drowning or flood or water overwhelming me. I know it's partially because I nearly drowned as a little kid, but actually remembering that doesn't feel as traumatic so I don't think it's entirely at fault. I think it's really a lot to do with feeling so overwhelmed all the time.

@esaisme Thank you for sharing, Esa. It's understandable that nearly drowning as a child could influence fears around water and feeling overwhelmed. Feeling overwhelmed so often also sounds challenging. What's it like for you when you feel overwhelmed in your daily life? You're not alone in dealing with anxiety, we are all here with you. <#

I think my biggest fear is everything that has to do with changes and the future. I can't cope with changes at all and it makes me extremely anxious when I can't predict what will come next. This also includes growing up, and losing my family/friends.

My biggest fear that's not related to a concept would definitely be my fear of heights lol!

@romanity Thank you for sharing about your fears of changes, the future, and heights. It sounds like not knowing what's to come can feel quite unsettling. How do you usually cope when facing uncertainty? You're not alone in finding change difficult - it's very common to feel anxious about the unknown. We are all here with you to support. please feel free to share more!

My biggest fear is ending up alone and dying alone. As an only child and someone who never wants children, I just feel hopeless about my love life sometime. It seems like everyone I’ve talked to lately thinks I’m a selfish person, but I’m not selfish. It’s debatable if not wanting children is selfish but other than that I am really selfless. The people who called me this were really immature. But it’s still affecting me.

@TheJenInBlack Hi Jen, thank you for sharing. I am sorry to hear that. I understand this is weighing heavily on you. It can be difficult when others don't understand your perspective. You seem frustrated yet also want to feel heard and accepted for who you are. Your values and choices are personal to you.

@ASilentObserver my biggest fear would be to get raped and getting victim-blamed as some aspect of mine as triggering the perpetrator. Living in a patriarchal society, it often seen that the victim or woman is blamed for her clothes or behavior.

@Clarrr I understand why that fear would feel very troubling. Living with that kind of fear can make anyone feel unsafe. What thoughts help you feel more in control during difficult times? You're brave to share such a personal concern. We are all here with you to listen to and to support.

What is your biggest fear? Describe it in as much detail as possible. What triggers this fear? How does it make you feel? My biggest fear was losing a sibling and sadly it happened on 1/21/20.

@blissfulTouch29 I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your sibling. That must be incredibly difficult to go through. What kinds of memories do you have of them that bring you comfort during this painful time? You're not alone in your grief. We are all here with you, Touch.

@ASilentObserver

I have a lot of memories about my brother however i also still remember the night he died even when i dont think about it

Wishing you a deep journey of reflection and treating yourself with grace in this challenging time - we are thinking if you . :( May the memories be very much alive of the happier times ❤️Sorry ❤️

My biggest fear right now is related to my job. I don't feel like I fit in with the two people who I work with, and that because of that I will be let go. I don't feel like I have support at this workplace and feel alone.

@Bberry999 I'm sorry to hear you're feeling alone and unsure about fitting in at work. It sounds like this is causing you some distress. It's understandable to worry about job security in that situation. You must care deeply about your job to be concerned. What makes you feel like you don't fit in with your coworkers?

Hey @ASilentObserver,

Thank you for your reply! Since I started there was barely any training, the basically just explained basic information about what the weeks are like. I work in payroll, and this is a software I've never used before. I've had questions about issues that I've had when using the software, but they respond with "figure it out yourself" or "I dont have time to deal with you". They've also said to my face that they talk about me behind my back. So every time if we are all in the office together and I hear their teams notifications going off it makes me wonder if they are talking about me. I don't really mind if they talk about me behind my back, that's more their problem in that case. But all of this makes me feel unwelcome, and that they just want to push me out.

@Bberry999

that is not right and I am sorry you had to go through that

Thank you! I'm grateful that I was referred to this platform by a counselor, and will be starting ongoing counseling this week. My first session will be tomorrow. I also set up a meeting with my supervisor to discuss a part of the issues that I've been dealing with. But I feel really nervous about talking about the issues for fear that it will come across as me being too sensitive or overreacting to these situations. I'm also weighing my options of looking for a new job outside of the organization, as I was told by HR that my chances of applying to another job will most likely be unsuccessful. I don't want to feel forced to find a new job, but if it means being happier, then I think it may be my best option right now

@Bberry999 It sounds like you've taken some important steps to take care of yourself by seeking counseling and meeting with your supervisor. Feeling nervous about difficult conversations is very understandable. You've shown strength in making yourself and your well-being a priority during this challenging time. I am glad you are here with us and sharing. We are all here with you.

@Bberry999

You're welcome. I am here for you and glad you found this forum.

@Bberry999 Thank you for sharing how you've been feeling at work. It sounds like not receiving proper training and support has made using the new software challenging and left you feeling unwelcome. What's most important to you right now in this situation?

@ASilentObserver thank you, I really appreciate how welcoming you have been and also so many other people on this platform.

Right now, I'd say what's most important for me is to have a job I feel welcome in. The only problem is this job does pay well, and other jobs I've looked at and one that I've recently applied for and had a phone interview pay much lower. I still live with my parents and have been saving up to buy a house, but I don't want to feel like I've failed if I take a job somewhere else that pays lower.

I'm also not sure if the career I'm in is something that I want to do anymore, or if that's just because of this job.

@Bberry999 I hear you feel welcome and valued in your work is very important to you. Exploring new career options can understandably bring up concerns about success and security. You've taken time to reflect deeply on your needs and values. I'm confident that with continued care for your well-being, the right choice will become clear. What self-care help you feel most at peace with whichever path may come?

@ASilentObserver I've started going to the gym again, and have been doing that for almost a month now. The only problem is that I go at night, I feel really good afterwards. But in the morning again I start to feel that dread and worry.

I also reached out to a couple therapists in my area, and am starting sessions this Saturday. Hopefully that will help. If I don't feel like I'm connecting with this therapist, there were 2 others who I reached out to who responded.

I've also been trying to meditate, but I do struggle with it with staying focused.

@Bberry999 Thank you for adding more thoughts. <3 It sounds like you've been making an effort to improve your well-being through exercise and seeking therapy. Feeling dread and worry in the morning must be difficult to deal with. I'm glad to hear you're starting therapy sessions this weekend - having a supportive person to talk to can make a big difference. I hope you're able to find the right fit and that the process helps provide you with useful insights and strategies. You're taking positive steps, and that's something to feel good about.

My biggest fear is being alone. And that doesn’t mean not having anyone around me physically, but more of not having anyone who believes in me, or supporting me. One example is that I get triggered when my parents give me criticism because I can’t help but think “What if they don’t believe in me?” And it really scares me, because I don’t want to be alone, especially when I’m going to be an adult in two years. It triggers when I get into arguments with my sister, or make mistakes near people I care about. It’s hard to live with sometimes. That’s my biggest fear.

@oliveTree4069 Thank you for sharing about this fear of being alone and not feeling believed in or supported. It's understandable that criticism from loved ones could trigger those fears, and that arguments with family make the fear feel more real. You mentioned it's hard at times - is there anything else you'd like to share about what that's like or how you cope?

We are all here with you to listen to and to support, olive.

I don’t really have ways to cope with it, I just try to get through it the best I can. Thank you so much😊💗

@ASilentObserver

The big fear that comes to my mind is that I will become disabled in some way and have to be dependent on other people to care for me. I really enjoy taking care of myself, and my cats, and to be financially independent. Also, really opening up emotionally to another person has usually been difficult for me in the past. In my past friendships, I took on the role of being mostly the giver, but I want more of give-and-take friendships now.

@pineapplepeanut Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. It sounds like independence is very important to you, and the fear of losing that control is understandable. How does opening up about this impact your mood currently? Please do share what you can with comfort. We are all here for you to listen to and to support.

@ASilentObserver I am feeling okay. I hope everyone else is feeling okay or even better. To those who aren't, I hope your day gets better. I hope that you get to enjoy your day again. Maybe go out for a walk or listen to music for pleasure. Be sure to enjoy the simple things in life.

@determinedPrune5176 Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It's caring of you to hope that others are feeling okay or enjoying their day. I'm glad to hear you find enjoyment in simple pleasures like walks and music. Maintaining hope and appreciation can help get us through challenging times.

Hi everyone 😊

My biggest fear used to be a stomach issue I have that puts me in severe pain over silly things. My doctors care a lot. They care so much I’ve been waiting nearly 10 years to find out what exactly it is but sure just slap some medication over it and forget about it. That’s another story altogether 🧐

Now over the past year it’s changed. My biggest fear is when we die there is nothing, just a empty black void, Not able to think, Feel anything and worst of all never see our loved ones ever again. It makes me scared and feel alone. I’ve searched every possible idea. Do I believe them? Idk people are very capable of lying about anything for a temporary celebrity status or a payday. I already feel alone without the people who have passed away never mind a void blackness and never getting to see them again. Apart from my partner, children and dog the people alive around me don’t care if I’m alive or dead. Everything is horrible without the people who have passed away. So for me there’s nothing and nobody after death and a solid darkness.

@shyIdea3230

i am here for you and honestly there is evidence that there is more to when people pass but i understand your fear though. if you want to talk more about it you can message me.

@shyIdea3230 Thank you for sharing your deepest fears with us, Shyidea <3. The uncertainty around death can indeed feel lonely and scary. How are you currently coping with these thoughts and feelings? You mentioned focusing on your loved ones who are still here - your partner, children, and dog. Maintaining connections to people who care about you can help alleviate feelings of loneliness. Please know we are all here with you to listen to and to support. you are not alone in this.