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oliveTree4069
1,365 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 15 Compassion hearts91 Forum posts38 Forum upvotes62 Current upvotes62 Age GroupTeen Last activeNovember, 2023 Member sinceJuly 14, 2023
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Struggling
Depression Support / by oliveTree4069
Last post
 November 2nd, 2023
...See more Hey, it’s Lucy again. It’s been a hot minute, but I’ve been so busy the past 6 weeks. The more I continue into the school year, the sadder I feel. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My life is great, there’s nothing to be upset about. I have no energy, I’m hopeless, sad, and what I’ve noticed the most is that I get so angry and irritated so often. Over the silliest things too. After I’m done yelling or being angry, I come to my senses right away and I say “Sorry, I don’t know why I got so angry.” It freaks my sister out, it’s like the flip of a switch my whole mood changes. It freaks me out, too. My parents don’t listen, they just say “It’s the attitude.” It’s okay, they wouldn’t be able to help anyway. Im just wondering what the heck is wrong with me, why is this happening? It’s confusing and really whacking me up. It’s okay if no one has an answer, this was just kind of a vent. Love you all, hope everyone has a wonderful night/day. Stay safe and healthy🩷 ~Lucy
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Seasonal Depression??
Depression Support / by oliveTree4069
Last post
 September 10th, 2023
...See more Hello all! I need a little help with something. During the spring of each year, approximately February to beginning of June everything goes downhill for me. My mental state gets worse, I’m really tired most days and I feel hopeless and sad. For literally no reason. I don’t know why this happens during that specific time of year. Some background, I take sleeping pills, birth control, and depression and anxiety meds, and I am a 16 year old highschool girl. My mental health isn’t always great, but I feel like it gets worse from February to June.But I love winter. Christmas is my favorite holiday, and the one sport I’m actually into (down hill ski) only is available during the winter. I like winter as much as summertime. I was talking to my sister (she’s my twin) and she suggested that I might have seasonal depression. That’s so strange though. Does it really have anything to do with the weather, because I don’t think of the weather during that time of year to make me feel sad. This has been happening every year since 7th grade. A year after Covid, which happened around that same time, but I don’t think that’s it. I haven’t thought about Covid in forever, I kinda forgot all about what happened in 2020. So I don’t think that’s it. Does anyone have any advice? I’ve gone online and it’s all like “if you hate winter you have it” and stuff like that, but I don’t hate winter. Also, I can’t go to a professional for help, and I know no one here is a professional, but any advice would be helpful. Thank you all so much! Have a wonderful morning/evening!!😊 ~Lucy
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Venting
Depression Support / by oliveTree4069
Last post
 September 4th, 2023
...See more Some background before I start is that I have two best friends since childhood, our parents are all best friends so we see eachother a few times a month. Their names are Leah and Addison, and they’re my age and in the same grade. (16 years old, starting 10th grade) Leah and Addison are closer to eachother than they are with me and my twin sister and they see eachother more often because they’re neighbors, while I live 30 minutes away. When I get happy or excited, I talk a lot and do random stuff, and I’m really loud. It gets annoying, but it’s hard to reign it in. I know it’s not good, people don’t like it, and I’m trying my best to be better. Leah and Addison make fun of me a lot in general too. Yeah, I get it’s all just in a jokingly way, but it gets personal when they point out something wrong with me that I already know about. Or when they mock me when I say something. They did a lot of this today, and throughout this whole weekend. It’s supposed to be a joke, but I take it to heart. I’m so sensitive, and I don’t want to ruin this weekend for myself and my friends. I don’t want to create drama like a five year old. I’ll give an example: Yesterday, we were walking around the campground. Randomly, Leah and Addison started running away and I said “hey where are we going?” And they didn’t answer but I heard them say “hurry up! she’s going to catch up with us!” And I kept saying “wait for me! please guys?” And I was running as fast as I could but I had sandals on. They’re hard to run in. I fell and got the total wind knocked out of me. They turned around to look at me and continued running and I was like “yep I’m great, thanks!” They didn’t even care! They mocked me when we got back to our campsite. “I’m great thanks!” In a really high pitched voice (I don’t sound like that!!) Also tonight I told them how my progress in learning French is because I’m learning another language. They said “No one speaks French in America. It’s mostly Spanish, so it’s kinda pointless.” And I said “I really like the language, so why not?” And leah said “alright, let’s send Lucy to Paris.” and I said “I’m good with that!” And leah said “no no no, we’re not coming with you, we’re leaving you there forever. it would make my life a lot easier.” I laughed, but that hurt. And today on the beach, i sat down on a picnic table, and it sounded like it cracked. Leah looked over and said “dang Lucy, are you really that fat!?” I know it’s a joke, but I have struggled with my weight even though I’m average. Sometimes I’ll stop eating for a while because I feel like I don’t deserve it. They know all about my mental health problems, of course. They’re my only friends, since I don’t have many in school. Also, when I talk too much or when I say something random when I’m happy or excited, they say “god Lucy do you ever stop talking?!!” It hurts so bad. I’ve tried to talk to them about it, but they say “it’s a joke it’s fine” but they don’t joke around like that with my twin sister, or with eachother. Why me? I don’t understand. I try to be understanding and nice about it. I pretend like I’m fine with it so I don’t cause a scene. I’m always kind to them. I know I’m too sensitive and I need to lighten up, but I can’t help it, it really does hurt ☹️ ~Lucy
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Vent with some Poetry
Poetry / by oliveTree4069
Last post
 September 6th, 2023
...See more Soo im a 16 year old girl in highschool, and for the first time in a long time I had a boyfriend. He was so sweet and caring. Not like the other boyfriends I had that lied to me and stabbed me in the back saying I wasn’t good enough because of my mental health. But this guy was different. He embraced my bad mental health and said he would help me through it, because he had it very similar to me. And things were great for a few weeks. Then out of the blue he dumped me. He said he didn’t want a long distance relation ship, even though he lived ten minutes away and we went to the same school. He was just busy all the time. But he blamed it on me. I was heartbroken, so me and my friend had a girls day. Me and my friend had an idea. She anonymously texted him and he told her everything. He was talking to another women and having intercourse with her. He cheated on me. He said he wasn’t sorry and that I was a mistake. He said he didn’t care about me at all and I had too many problems with my mental health. I thought all my other boyfriends were bad but this one… really topped the cake. By atleast a foot of frosting! He was so fake, and I probably won’t date or even talk to a guy until I’m 35. I loved him and trusted him. And I know I’m just some dumb 16 year old girl, but it still hurt. So I have a few random poems I would like to share. Liar on Fire We worked together Like paper and calligraphy We went together like peanut butter and jelly You were the butter to my toast So what happened? We used to be close Now you’re rain to my fire Because that whole time you were a liar A Sky so Blue The moon and the stars They’re extremely far Bur you and I We were nearby And I trusted you But you werent true You were so blue Like the light colored sky So why did you lie? Why did you hurt me? I’ll never be able to see Rotting Heart You ripped me to parts Without any thought It hurt my heart As you let me rot You made me feel smart But I’m so naive Its really hard Because I thought you loved me Thank you for reading :) ~Lucy
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Thank you :)
Depression Support / by oliveTree4069
Last post
 September 2nd, 2023
...See more On my last post (Vent?) I didn’t expect to get so many replies! Thank you to everyone who reached out and gave me advice. I read each paragraph over and took it to heart. Now I can look in my parents shoes and realize there’s more to it than I can see. I appreciate everyone who is cheering in my corner, hope everyone has a great day/evening!🤗🤗 (I’ll probably vent about more stuff because in a moment of sadness and hopelessness, venting is extremely helpful, along with the wonderful feedback from amazing people😊)
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vent?
Depression Support / by oliveTree4069
Last post
 August 27th, 2023
...See more um so I’m Lucy, and I’ve been having a problem for a while now and I can’t hold it in. I know it’s my fault, but I really need to vent and just get it off my chest. Whoever reads this, thanks. so I’m starting my sophomore year of highschool and I’m 16. I have many flaws that are noticeable. For example I’m very chatty and I get off topic a lot. I like school, I like to learn, and I don’t always mean to get super talkative or get off topic and be distracting sometimes. me and my sister were talking about school since it starts in a week and how they are enforcing rules, and my dad kept butting in to our conversations and saying “yeah, I don’t want any more phone calls about you being chatty and distracting! This is the whole reason they made these rules, for people like you who are distracting to their classmates.” I tried so hard not to cry because my dad would say “I’m a parent, this is just a teaching lesson, it’s what we do” because he thinks I’m over dramatic when he says stuff like this that’s supposedly just “parenting” like yeah maybe it is but it’s so mean sounding in my opinion. I’ve tried to talk to him about it but he just says “it’s not mean. It’s just parenting” It feels like I’m being too dramatic, but at the same time, it hurts! like really bad! It stabs me in the heart and makes me feel like a disappointing daughter, because he only ever brings up the negative side of me. Even in good achievements, like a speech or a choir concert. In anything, really. I don’t think anything/anyone can help my situation but I really need to get this off my chest because I have no one else I can talk to.
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