Guidelines on Role Playing in the 7Cups Community!

@ASilentObserver

Thanks Obs!

@EvelyneRose Thank you Eve

Thank you Obs for the clarification.

I've never really thought of something like sending beams as being connected to role play. If something like that is an exception where does more pretend virtual gestures fall? Ie. Gives out cookies.

That is something that has been a part of the culture here for quite some time so may be a bit of a jump to move away from that for a while if that's the goal.

@AffyAvo

Gives out cookies and high fives are fine, I think it's if people are more intense in their role playing. Like the family tree role play scenario, where people are different "family members" to the exclusion of everyone else in the chat.

@rebecca947 It's good to have this clarification, but disappointing that the original post said it was "an effort to resolve the confusion" yet managed to introduce more confusion in the very next paragraph.

When someone posts information for the community and it's unclear, I would suggest that it's not enough for some other person to clarify in the comments. Many people will only read the original post—they'll not wade through all the comments to try and work out what it really means, and they should not have to.

Also, it's never clear whether the person trying to clarify has the authority to contradict the original poster. It seems to me that the original poster, in this case @ASilentObserver , should correct the original post when lack of clarity has been exposed.

If I remember right, we've seen this kind of thing happen before a few times. It seems obvious that having the discussion in advance, and only changing the rules after the wording has been corrected, would help to prevent these recurring problems.

And another issue is that the rules governing what people are allowed to do on 7 Cups have parted company with our Community Guidelines. It would be very helpful to have a complete set of guidelines all in one place, once again.

Charlie

@RarelyCharlie Added it in the original post under edits to make it clear. I hope it is helpful.

@rebecca947 Thanks for giving more clarification. Some of the pretend around food has gone beyond a token cookie as a form of recognition, it took me a little while to get used to it

Even the pretend relationships has a culture here, in the group chat early days one of the small groups of mods was 'mom' to many, including some of the other mods.

The twins mentioned below is interesting, some here use it as the same I know what people do in real life - joke about a birthday twin, a shoe twin, etc. but some take it a little further.

@AffyAvo They are fine Affy. Added the thoughts under edits of the original post.

@AffyAvo

me neither. Sounds pretty un role playing like to me.

@ASilentObserver

This is very much unclear to me . Could anyone give any examples of what kind of statements / actions denote "Role Playing " and should be avoided ?

I don't actively take part in it , but I'd like to know, if there's anything else I may avoid to be on a safer side .

Is sending hugs bad in groups ?😮

@Optimisticempath it is acceptable Empath. Supportive phrases and lines are allowed.

@ASilentObserver

Thankyou .

Please clarify what is role playing behavior?

@ASilentObserver Thank you for the clarification. Sending beams ;)

thank you for the clarification and important reminder!

@ASilentObserver

Thank you for clearing this up, Obs! You're awesome

@ASilentObserver

Thank you obs.

From this post I understand Role-playing is not allowed, and will be treated with behavioral points if used.

Sending beams and hugs in the room is a way to show support in cyberspace where bodylanguage is missing. I never thought of it as role playing.

To make this post even clearer could you please clarify and my give examples to what would be considered role-play?

//Harmony

@musicalHarmony Examples like family tree, story plots, inappropriate story lines are excluded Harmony while phrases like sending beams, hugs, cookies, etc are allowed.

@ASilentObserver can you please write an example of inappropriate roleplay in form of family tree, story plots, inappropriate story line in order to clarify us what is meant with family tree, story plots, inappropriate story line? I don't understand entirelly what is being mentioned with it despiet of all the clarifications above. Sorry.

I’m super confused—would this mean that offering/accepting a hug to someone is not allowed in group chats? If so, how is this seen as “being unsupportive”? These instances have only happened with me personally a handful of times, and I haven’t seen it as negative. I have, however, always found it strange when people offer virtual food in rooms—but I typically ignore it.

@TheJenInBlack

Nope, those are still allowed! :)

@TheJenInBlack They are allowed Jen.

Thank you for clearing that up! :)

For everyone asking about role-play examples, this is my take on it.
"Hi mommy [username]"
"Sis [username] just told me off!"
"Don't tell your sister off, [username]!"
[Username] "Ok mom. Sorry sissy"

Like when a group of people have their own "family tree" and act it out. Username A is the mom of the group, username B is the sister and username C is the father. And then they all do and say things that correspond to their role.

Typically/Generally speaking, I've seen this happen in rooms quite a lot in the past and it is often done to the exclusion of other people in the room. As a result, people can feel left out, unsupported or ignored.

I'll be honest though that aside from family tree, I haven't seen much other role playing.

@AffyAvo @optimisticempath @Creamyyy @musicalHarmony @TheJenInBlack Maybe my example above could help clarify? It's just from what I've seen.

@rebecca947

Thankyou for the examples . I haven't personally been a part of such, and haven't really come across alot of these too . But it's indeed a great thing to make others aware who might be unintentionally forming cliques .

I know some people on here know each other from long or from regularly seeing each other here . So they might be a little too friendly , maybe ? Good reminder nonetheless. 😊

Are words like "Honey" , "Dear " , "Munchkin" , "Sweet one " allowed ? Some people use them often but maybe that's their usual way to talk idk

@ASilentObserver and @RarelyCharlie thankyou both too .

@Optimisticempath

we're not admins here to say the least but this seems to be the advisable way in which to approach things :

those are likely best to be avoided in group chats as they can be triggering to some users but if you know a member well and ask in advance if it's okay it seems like it should be if you're using dms or are in a small section of a form where there are very few users and it is a casual enviroment

it is definately notable that some words such as honey, hun, or dear have useages that vary geographically in that some places you may use them to refer to anyone you are close to or view as endearing however in others it may be reserved almoast exclusively for one's partner

I think it's important to remember that with things such as this, if there is area for ambiguity it is best to avoid it unless allowed to do otherwise by the specific member in terms of direct messages chats

but if you do use terms of endearment then please try to be as inclusive as possible when these are in the small forums

we're by no means experts so we're very much sorry if this is not in line with the official advice but we hope we've shed some clarity on this issue

@unnamedcat

this was supposed to have been from our listener account [removed account name**] sorry

** Note from kindsoul10: please don't reveal or mention your listener or member account except the one you are using. Don't reveal your listener account when you're logged in as listener and don't reveal your member account when you're logged in as a listener.

@unnamedcat

sorry kindsoul

@unnamedcat no worries! ♥️

@kindSoul10

thank you

@rebecca947 thanks for this clarification. I haven't seen this kind of behaviour before, but can understand why this would be discouraged and reported. The last thing that this site needs is members (or listeners) feeling excluded because of this kind of behaviour.

Why would they do this family role playing.. How is it connected to therapy?

@Creamyyy

It's done without malicious intent of course, but I think they do it to have fun with each other and feel closer to each other. Just like a mask they put on and take off whenever they please. MCR is for lighthearted chat, so I suppose people thought role playing was lighthearted. In the end, all I'm doing is guessing and assuming. Can't give you a solid answer, unfortunately!

@ASilentObserver If role playing is no longer allowed, does that mean that listeners and members should no longer advertise roles in their profiles? Is this something the Safety Patrol Team will start to check for? @Gracey

Charlie

@RarelyCharlie

roleplaying is strictly involving non cups things. Examples are family roleplaying, roleplaying that you're lovers, roleplaying that you're a cannibal, etc. anything that's between you and one or multiple others that seems like an in joke in a public space can be seen as exclusionary. I hope that makes sense!

@EvelyneRose Yes, I completely agree.

Family roleplaying is a good example. The question is: if a listener's profile advertises their make-believe family roles at 7 Cups, will the Safety Patrol Team address it? I have occasionally seen this in listener's profiles.

Charlie

Do listener twins fall under role playing?

Does substituting the lack of physical interaction count as role playing?

Does referring to my perfect ears for listing count as role playing?

would be people calling me bunny being role playing?

Would it help others to clarify that creating a role play that encourages to weaken up healthy boundaries between participants is not healthy and that's what's might be the bigger picture in those rules?

Would writing out -I'm doing a happy dance- be roleplay when I'm actually not able to dance IRL for reasons?

@kindSoul10

I think the aim of this post is that role playing is often done to the exclusion of everyone else not part of that small role playing group. A clique, if I may call it that.
Role playing in this post I think refers to a long scenario. If people call you bunny, that's just a nickname. But if you and username a continue that role play situation, then it could fall under role play. For example:

A: hi bunny!
Soul: *rabbit noises*
A: aw you miss me!
Soul: *rabbit noises*
A: you're hungry aren't you
Soul: *ears lift up*
A: here's a carrot!
soul: *happily munches*

All the while this conversation is happening, especially for newbies who are entering, others may not feel comfortable joining in the conversation because it feels like it's just between you two. I hope this makes a bit of sense.

As for actions you can't give IRL, they're fine. One liners are fine, kindness and compassion shown through words *hugs* *sneding beams* *claps* *cheers* are all fine.