Ramblings 3
Nothing new, same issues . I miss the people here. I have been really struggling the last few months. I have been really trying and it seems like I am going back instead of forward.
I am nodding off again, but waiting to take medications, actually I suppose it’s time for them now.
Ok , just took them and as soon as I drank my water mix I am now awake again.
I probably should change the bedding but I don’t think I will today. Maybe tomorrow, Just that task is going to be excruciating, plus I will need to attempt to shower. I anticipate a supremely fun filled day tomorrow. Yippee!!
I don’t completely understand this strange feeling of worrying about Tiny all the time. This is new and kind of uncomfortable.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Maybe you should not worry. Just pray that Jesus Christ takes good care of her.
Good morning to you. I don't know how interested you're in the news around the world. Tomorrow is the discussion between Trump and Harris.
Can I ask you - maybe you know that my name is Helga. If you should give name to your innen woman - what name should that be? (Please don't answer if this make you feel sad/hurted).
@Helgafy
Thank you so much for telling me a little bit about yourself. I have wanted to ask you if you would be willing to share but I usually don’t want to be “pushy” with anyone. I only know anyone here by what they share with me. I periodically venture out and about here and stumble upon either something that each of has written as a new or possibly an older topic, or something that each of you has written in response to someone else’s topic. I am not good at navigating around this community. I also don’t remember the names of all those that have reached out to me. That is disappointing to me because those times that I can think somewhat clearly and have the courage to stray away from my ramblings for a bit, It would be nice to be able to find some of the things that they all have written and attempt to read and try and understand their writings and what they are sharing.
Ok , I have rambled a bit. I truly appreciate your sharing this information with me. It would be nice, actually wonderful if there was a simple way to mark segments like these so that people like me whose memories are fading and/or getting jumbled around, whose memories are slipping away from them, a simple way to mark these segments to make it extremely easy to navigate back to . So that like the old fashioned way of pictures in an actual album could be occasionally looked through and forgotten memories could be triggered back to the forefront of thoughts. I think every thing that people have written to me is very special to me , but there is things like this bit of information about who you are is extra special, learning about my friends here, is information I should not be able to forget. To know about all of you who have reached out to me and are willing to be called my friend is as important if not more important to me than my writings, but I suppose without my writings, I would not have been blessed with you reaching out to me and over time becoming friends. I am forever grateful for that.
Ok , I will pause for now on that, now to your question regarding my name for my inner woman.
I truly have no clue to what it would or should be, I did think about it a lot when I was trying to explore and investigate this part of me. That was something that I just couldn’t even get close to figuring out. As I am writing this I wonder if I couldn’t settle on any names could be because that would be officially validating that part of me and that could possibly prevent me from keeping that part of me deep inside.
I will try and answer any questions you have about myself. If I can remember, I will tell you. This part of me, I suppose there will always be sadness that I will never truly know that partof me. However it is a part of me so I am very willing to share what I can.
Any questions asked of me hold a special place with me .
Thank you again,
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Hi. Hi.
Thank you for writing. Since you didn't comment the line beneath, I guess it does not interest you that much. That's OK.
"Good morning to you. I don't know how interested you're in the news around the world. Tomorrow is the discussion between Trump and Harris."
I want to say very special thank you to a few of you, where I am it is now going on five in the morning. I woke up awhile ago after another nap and my phone buzzed with a notification from here, so I wiped the sleep from my eyes, put on my glasses and picked ip the phone and came here to a barrage of warmth and love. I tried responding to your messages but I ramble so I had no chance of keeping up.
That feeling that I felt when I realized that I was in the thoughts of a few of you at the same time enveloped me in a strange but comforting warmth, unfortunately it is now gone but that short feeling of warmth you all gave me was something that I hope I never forget 💕💕💕Thank you all and Hugs to each of you ( if you are accepting) 💕💕💕
@Helgafy
I try to answer all questions, I obviously miss some. I will try and answer any regarding me and my situation, experiences, because I speak truth, I may be foggy on things and I try to relay that with my writings, but I am still telling truth. I try to stay out of discussions I am completely unsure of the truth on because too volatile for me. I want you to continue to be my friend and I don’t want to jeopardize that friendship.
I think about being with my friends here but being with them person to person, Face to face, then I realize that it may seem like I am a chatty person, however in person I would be quiet and introverted.
That flurry of warmth earlier this morning and the subsequent chill that followed and has remained, got me to wondering if face to face friendships might not be the best thing for me. Someone who has a family, job, responsibilities, family life that might stop in for a few minutes or maybe even an hour or two once a week or month depending what is happening in their lives. At least this way I know that face to face is impossible.. But to experience that brief feeling of warmth in the face to face scenario then the chill that remains until the next visit whenever that may be. I think sticking with only having friends here is the better option.
@Tinywhisper11
Have you ever had your carers lay out a bunch of bubble wrap and proceed to run over it with your chair??
❤️❤️❤️
The time seems to have come when my body has once again said the medication is no longer as effective as it once was.
yet my fear of addiction is weighing heavily on me, providing that I am not already, I fear that contacting the doctor, and she decides to up the dosage of the oxycodone that it increases the likelihood of addiction.
So I am debating just trying to hold out until the nerve medication is low. I think that it runs out after the surgeon appointment.
