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Ramblings 3

Iamwhoiamwhoami December 31st, 2023

Nothing new, same issues . I miss the people here. I have been really struggling the last few months. I have been really trying and it seems like I am going back instead of forward.

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Iamwhoiamwhoami OP August 28th

The things that race and bounce around in my head must’ve either crashed or temporarily ran out of fuel. My mind is scarily quiet

Iamwhoiamwhoami OP August 28th

On top of everything else, my mind goes deathly quiet…my mind has raced forever.

Iamwhoiamwhoami OP August 28th

The quiet is nice . I just feel like anything that eases up or changes is a definite sign of something else is going to go bad.

Iamwhoiamwhoami OP August 28th

I definitely don’t do well with change, small things are really difficult. Now I am facing way too big of changes and way too many of them all coming back to back.

Iamwhoiamwhoami OP August 29th

@Tinywhisper11

Are you ok? I am really worried about you…

💕💕💕I Love You 💕💕💕Hugs 💕💕💕

Iamwhoiamwhoami OP August 29th

@Timywhisper11

I fear that something is very wrong., I truly hope you are ok. I hope that it is not my fault, I always mess up anything positive in my life. You are extremely important to me . You are very wonderful and beautiful person. I am lost without you.

Iamwhoiamwhoami OP August 29th

I have a feeling reading my pure negative dark thoughts has somehow hurt Tiny causing her to disappear.

6 replies
mytwistedsoul August 29th

@Iamwhoiamwhoami No I can't see that. I sort of remember seeing somewhere that she hasn't been feeling well lately - a cold or a flu bug. She'll return as soon as she can - she just has to rest up a bit ❤️

1 reply
Iamwhoiamwhoami OP August 29th

I hope you are right and you probably are. Just my self blame thing kicking in. ❤️

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BlueDarkAurora August 29th

@Iamwhoiamwhoami souls right ^-^ I'm sure she's got you in her thoughts just as you've got her in yours. 

3 replies
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Iamwhoiamwhoami OP August 29th

I think it’s a good idea for me to put my writings on hold. I think that would be for the best.

1 reply
mytwistedsoul August 29th

@Iamwhoiamwhoami It's ok to ramble. You can rant and rave. It's really ok Iam. If writing here helps in anyway - even if it's just to pass the time than please - write

Tiny is such a bright and caring person. She gives so much of herself to alot of people. The only problem with that is sometimes your batteries need to recharge. Like that saying so many use here - you can't pour from an empty cup ❤️

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Iamwhoiamwhoami OP August 30th

Everyone has been kind enough to let me ramble here. Doing so I believe helps dull the edge a little. However I think Tiny might have been triggered by helping me through an extremely difficult situation that was similar to something that she may have experienced. I should have just stayed quiet and suffered in silence. She is an angel with a heart of gold. More strength than most people to have gone through what she has and continues to go through and bring and spread so much love, kindness, support, and joy to so many here.

She chose to do so with me . I am and will always be grateful to her. However, I should have stopped a long time ago because I knew the darkness I live in was a place for nobody else to be exposed to, especially someone as special as her. So, regardless of the fact she willingly and knowingly (truly not knowing the true depths of the darkness) explored my writings. Does not take any guilt away from me.

So , I think that I should at the very minimum, avoid writing here for awhile. It is probably the wrong decision considering that is the only kind of decisions I make. But for know I need to process the guilt I feel, along with everything else.

Thank you everyone for your kindness and support.


Tinywhisper11 August 30th

@Iamwhoiamwhoami I'm in hospital I've been here for a couple of days, I think. I'll catch up when I get to go home, please be safe. I  love you ❤❤

4 replies
mytwistedsoul August 30th

@Tinywhisper11 feel better soon 💜❤️

BlueDarkAurora August 30th

@Tinywhisper11 you're so missed<3 ^-^ Hope you feel better soon.

Iamwhoiamwhoami OP August 30th

@Tinywhisper11

I hope you get better soon. 💕💕💕I love you💕💕💕

@Tinywhisper11. Get well soon ❤️.

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