Ramblings 3
Nothing new, same issues . I miss the people here. I have been really struggling the last few months. I have been really trying and it seems like I am going back instead of forward.
I’m so tired of being a nutcase. So complicated yet so simple.
If I had a house full of mirrors, every one I looked into the reflection would be different, each representing one issue I struggle with. Break one and 7 more issues arise while that one is renewed.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami the house of mirrors, that's a brilliant way to describe yourself, your pain. That was very creative
@Iamwhoiamwhoami it's ok to talk about your past, even if it is such a hard memory to have🙁 I'm sorry sweetie. But at least we know that was the starting point of your brain flickers. Not remembering the whole truth of what happened, just completely messes with your mind. I've blocked out about a year or so, like I said brfore, it's a blessing and a curse 🙁 how are you feeling now? I mean with the fear and dread? That's probably one of my scariest moments to. Luckily it doesn't come often for me. I wish I could change your situation, but the best I can do is read your writtings. Knowing someone hears you, helps alot. And knowing at least here at cups your not alone, I hope is enough to carry you through those times you just want to give up. I love you ❤
@Tinywhisper11
As of right the dread and fear is gone the first and only time so far that it happened was this morning when I woke up. I am really wondering if it’s med related. The first few days I was taking the one med every 4 hours then it went to every 6 hours but when I woke up it had been about 8 hours. I am wondering if could have been a withdrawal symptom.
That is now a major fear for me , to have it happen again.
Hearing from you and the others is what keeps me going.
I will never have the right words to describe what you all mean to me. 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
@Iamwhoiamwhoami yeah it could well be the withdraw symptoms from the new meds. Side effects from meds can really mess with you for the first week of so🙁 however if it gets that bad you had to ring the ER for help, well if it happens again or to much, it's probably worth mentioning to your doctor ❤ I'm glad you got your walking aid coming today🙂 hopefully it will make a difference. Well done for having a shower by the way ❤❤ half a shower is better than none ❤ you did really well. And I'm glad you got a way to get food. I know how hard it was for you to ask for help ❤❤ hugs you tightly ❤ your doing really well ❤
@Iamwhoiamwhoami want to see something cute??? Well I'm gonna show you anyway 😁
Adorable ❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami 😂😂😂😂 ❤❤❤
@Iamwhoiamwhoami coffee time😋 I took my meds, played with piggies. They are playing nicely on their own a minute😁 the past few days the weather has cooled down here to about 20 degrees, but today I'm already sweating it's 18 degrees and it's not quite 4am yet🙁
@Iamwhoiamwhoami what kind of things do you drink?? I normally drink coffee, tea, and strawberry milkshake 😋 but the other week I tried pepsi cola. It's really nice. So I've been drinking that a bit more lately too
Mountain Dew, water and flavored water (electrolyte mix)
used to drink Pepsi
@Iamwhoiamwhoami oh what's mountain dew?? I think I've heard of that🤔🤔
Pepsi is nice ❤
It’s a citrus flavored pop/soda different flavor than pepsi
Keeping a positive mind is a lot of work and it takes a good amount of time as well and that is complete alright. You possess all the good qualities but it's just that you've been in the dark for long and it's totally understandable that it would feel like the dark is all that you've got. Everything comes from within and just as the dark got so dark with time so can the light be born again and be so bright with time. It takes so much dark to drown out the light but even a little flicker in the dark can be se seen from far away. As long as we keep going, we're growing<3 it takes time for all the little wins of everyday to accumulate and be something we can hold but all those wins no matter how small counts.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
@Iamwhoiamwhoami you said you've been eating the same boring food. What goods have you been currently eating??