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My daily ramblings
I am finally going to follow the lead and try and avoid posting in multiple different places. I am going to try and do most of my rambling in this thread.
My cognitive issues are making it harder and harder for me to focus on multiple things. That combined with my laundry list of other issues, makes functioning at all near impossible.
Having to go through medication experimentation again is going to make it even harder.
Whenever I have to refocus because I literally can’t remember blocks of time or where I am and why I’m here kinds of things , I’m usually able to come here and figure out through my posts and profile etc.
That has proven to not work very well at times. I wondered if I centralized my thoughts here that maybe that might work better.
That also keeps me from being a distraction from those who are more deserving than I.
@mytwistedsoul
Hey soul, that's a wonderful reply about affirmations, doctors etc. I will write soon, feeling really weak. Take care!
@mytwistedsoul
It's wonderful you are open to change your inner narrative, want to practice positive affirmations and want to be better at practicing gratitude. Many people just discards anything that would need years of work and growth. I really appreciate this about you.
I re-watched the video and realized she didn't say you use one positive affirmation each day and grow from there. I see it was just my belief and intuition that it might work. But what she said might be helpful too, she said she says the positive things to herself, "I am a decent writer", and noticed how she felt. She felt a shiver of uncomfortable feeling and she said it gave her an insight about her childhood, or the people she had in the past. Maybe it's possible the words they used that brought her confidence down wasn't true, that maybe they were flawed so they told her she was flawed. So she was using the affirmations to see what kind of emotions they brought up and they gave insights into her past. And this insight makes her believe that maybe all the compliments she receive aren't false, maybe her writing is good, and maybe people do enjoy her company. And maybe one day she will feel like she is enough. I just hope you find this helpful somehow, it might be different than my initial approach but it might help you, I don't know. It might help me too.
About finding female doctors, they were equally disrespectful and they don't really care about the patients. But I will overcome this someday, it may take time but I will overcome. Thank you for your compassion.
I'm really sorry you had bad luck with listeners.
Yes, I hope it'll be fun to try S'mores, thank you :)
Sending you lots of love and warmth <3
@seashell145 Oh that definitely sounds interesting. Because most of the bad things we say to ourselves are repeats from past things we've heard - usually from family first. Those are the strongest because our foundation is built on those first lessons. It's hard to build a strong foundation when the words we heard were meant to tear us down instead of building us up. Or maybe it started out as a compliment and had a but thrown in. Compliments are easy to give but hard to accept. I'm definitely willing to try it. Thank you! I hope you'll give it a try too
@mytwistedsoul
So - we all had fun today - did we not. At last staying under the stars of heaven with our fire, nature was silent. All the animals went to bed.
@Helgafy
That sounds wonderful Helga. Lying down under the stars, while there's fire kindling, so calming. I imagine crickets are screaming from time to time.
It would be nice to fall asleep at soul's house after such a wonderful time in the party with nature.
(Thank you for your prayer so I can go to doctor. No option to reply beneath the comment) <3
@seashell145
@mytwistedsoul
@Helgafy It was fun :) We topped off the evening with s'mores. The stars were so bright as we settled into our sleeping bags. The crickets and peeper frogs sang us lullabies until we fell asleep. We woke early in the morning to the birds singing and watched the fawns play in the field below ❤️ Thank you my friend for bringing us all together
@mytwistedsoul
S'mores sound wonderful. I never got to eat them though, someday I will have the chance.
@mytwistedsoul
@Helgafy You're welcome 🙂 I thought we could have some fresh berries with the eggs. There are raspberries and strawberries
@Helgafy
Hey, I live in South Carolina. I want to go to Souls house and look at the stars😊
@WorkingitThrough2 There's always a space here for you beside the campfire ❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami Hey you :) I was wondering how you made out with the testing the doctor had done. No pressure to answer of course. You do pop into my thoughts * sending you good vibes my friend ❤️
Sending all here good vibes. It's been quiet here in the land of nod :)
@mytwistedsoul
Thought I would check to see if my check-in had been posted yet. Still got this bad headache and my whole right side of my head and neck hurt pretty bad. I have taken some meds but it is not helping. I also rubbed my neck with icy hot but no relief. This is not good.
Soul, I am sorry I missed the group chat, time slipped away from me. You stay the good guy you are. You bring a lot of sunshine to people here especially me/🌞
@WorkingitThrough2 Hopefully your check in gets posted soon. Waiting gets frustrating and you'd probably like to make sure you've got things taken care of before you go on your trip
@mytwistedsoul
Thanks, yes I wanted to know she approved of it before the last minute in case something had to be changed. I had not tried ice but I used heat and I have been laying down all morning but my head and neck are yet hurting. I may need to go to urgent care to have them check my before I go out of state and have no doctor. It is raining and gloomy out. I would hate to have to go but I will if I am not feeling better in the next few hours. Still got to get my husband's things packed and the dog's food and sleeping gear packed. But I am not able just yet. I hope I still feel up to going there are no refunds on this trip
@WorkingitThrough2 Hopefully your head and neck are feeling better. It's good there's an urgent care you can visit if you need to. Regular doctors offices can take a while to get an appointment. But it's a really good idea before you go on a trip. It's hard to enjoy yourself if you're hurting. You're taking your dog with too? That's so sweet! I hope everything is alright with you and you have a great trip!
@mytwistedsoul
Thanks for your concern. My blood pressure was up pretty high and I have a pinched nerve in my next that is affecting my head. Also, he said my stress levels were high. He prescribed me blood pressure meds and anti-depressant meds. After about an hour or so I began to feel some relief. Not as bad as it was but still there.
Yes, I am taking my dog with me he is so spoiled. I don't trust him being in a kennel or at the doggy hotel where I use from time to time just so he can interact with other dogs and I can watch him no matter where I go on video camera. Max is my Companion Service Dog. He goes where I go😊. I can feel safe he is my bodyguard and security alarm. He thinks and acts like a 100-pound Doberman and he is only 10 pounds😂. I really think he thinks he is human but he really acts better than some people,😂
@WorkingitThrough2 Omgosh! I'm so glad you went and got it checked out! High blood pressure isn't a good thing for sure but I also figure you're under a lot of stress with everything you're dealing with. I hope you're feeling closer to 100% by the time you leave for your trip. Thank you much for letting me know ❤️
@Helgafy ❤️ You've been in my thoughts the past couple of days. How are you my friend?
@mytwistedsoul
Hi soul.
We wrote almost simultaneously at this site. You can read what I wrote to sea above, the moon is your too - ha.ha.
@Helgafy I like the moon. Especially when it's full and it lights up the night. The last full moon here
@mytwistedsoul
Soul - thank you! I love that photo. (I don't know why I like the moon so much these days).
@Helgafy You're welcome! I'm glad you like it. I take a lot of pictures of the moon. Especially when it's full
@mytwistedsoul
Thank you so much soul. Beautiful! We can go out in the night and howl against the moon as it is told the wolf is doing. LOL.
Remember you're loved. Maybe you've heard the song "It's only love" by T.Turner and Bryan Adams. It's sad she is not among us anymore. She gave so much of herself. She was a true rocker as Bryan is.
We had a nice summerparty at your farm - did we not - gathering some of your friends.
@mytwistedsoul
Lol - there is a person here who calls herself "Moonflower" - so I had to google it. And yes, it is a simple, white and delicate flower - not to be eaten!
@mytwistedsoul
Those are beautiful pictures, I do the same thing when the sky and moon is colorful or just the stars twinkling in the sky. I went to the doctor and he feels it might be stress or a migraine. A pinched nerve in my neck on the right side is causing me so much pain. He had me get Tumeric and take 2 daily for 2 weeks and Ibprohane. He wants to send me to get injections in my neck but I am not going to do that.
@mytwistedsoul
Soul - the news said that the Russian spaceship exploded on the moon. They tryed to find water. It was the same day you sent me the photo of the moon, but I cannot see the spaceship there! LOL.
@Helgafy Tbh there is a part of me that would like to howl at the moon with you 😊 I think we would have fun ❤️
@WorkingitThrough2 Thank you 😊 There's something magical about the night sky isn't there? Fills you with awe and wonder. It's nice to imagine you and @Helgafy gazing up at the moon at the same time I am
@mytwistedsoul
OH. You had moonflower! And it blossom in the night....
@mytwistedsoul
Hi.
If you want to you can also read about beneath my listener from "Kiribati".
@WorkingitThrough2
Well - I'll tell a bit today. This L and I discussed a bit in a group and she told we could do it 1:1 - and so we did. She was living at Kiribati and I thought that was so exciting. I like to google places and read a bit about the places where persons live. She and her husband were from the US and had saved money to live at K. inbetween. So we talked for 10 days and she told different things and I also did. I questioned more about K. - why they choosed that island. Then she said it was just in her imagination because she lived a dull life. So I have told now that I don't know who she is and need a break. (I don't know if the rest of what she said also was just in her imagination).
@Helgafy
Wow, That kind of sucked🤔. I myself am doing a lot better than I have over the past few weeks, The weather is to hot to get in the pool and it rains really bad in the evening so I have not been able to use the pool.
I did find out I have a pinched nerve in my neck that is causing these bad headaches.Along with stress from my husband's Dementia.
@WorkingitThrough2
Friend.
I'm sorry your husband has dementia. I hope there is a home where he can stay for a bit so you also can have your freetime without him.
So - you're not in the pool these days. I think often the American people have a privat pool. It's more seldom here. Remember you talked about we could go to the pool at Souls summerparty?
I have prayed for your neck/head today in the name of Jesus Christ. I hope you soon will be better - you have also seen a doctor I understand.
@WorkingitThrough2
@Heigafy........Thank you for the Prayers, They have reached me and I am feeling a lot better.❤️🙏🏽
@WorkingitThrough2
Working - can it really be that you feel better? Please - you don't have to say that to be nice to me. I have prayed for you today also that your blood shall flow freely in your bloodvessel to your brain so that the pain in your head goes away.