@Iamwhoiamwhoami

Thanks, take your time - I'll take a photo of my tree for you too later on

@juliak1968

I added a bunch of pictures of the tree dedication in my thread called

My gift to the entire 7 cups community

@juliak1968 one not lit during daylight

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

Very inspiring!~ I will pull out my old camera and take a photo of my tree and try to post it here.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

@juliak1968

very beautiful.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

This is something you and all of us here really can appreciate. They are so beautiful. Thank you for making my day🤶

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

Hi!

How perfect, how wonderful, how clever you are! With a cloth "7 Cups family" at the floor - with the words coming out of the machine! I have sent the links to our great leader Glen, so now all your "thanks" go right to the top of 7Cup.

@Helgafy Thank you.

All three should be a little different, mainly the right tree a little different lighting effects. If I posted one twice, please let me know I will try and send a link to the missing one.

Head is throbbing all over, I am trying to keep an anxiety / panic attack from escalating , my depression is so rampant I am crying. I keep having visions of things that I am assuming I experienced at some point in time.

What is next? This nonsense is getting old like me.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

Hold on tight my brother. Take some deep breaths to calm your mind down and then try to lie down and rest a bit. We love you and are sitting with you❤️

I apologize in advance to anyone who posts to my threads if I don’t respond to each one of them. My anxiety is on the edge constantly right now along with everything else and my brain and fingers are not communicating very well. Thank you all for letting me be here.

My head feels like it’s being pounded on by multiple sledgehammers at once, and the speed of thoughts has increased tenfold.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

Brother.

I wish you could get some help.

@Helgafy

Thank you.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

I have no idea of what can help - I guess you have done a neurological examination already. I hope you can rest.

@Helgafy

Thank you. And yes I have had that.

@Helgafy

Just being you and whatever kind words you care to share with me is more than I can ask for.

Taking the time off from work, now that it has started, not sure that was the wisest of decisions. I have too much acting up right now to be completely alone. At work I struggle but I have something to distract me a little.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami that sounds really scary being completely alone when you have a lot going on i understand you wanting to be around people that can help quickly but i hope you remember you can call your emergency number and they can come and take you to a hospital if you want to go i think that is just what the people at work would do for you.

@jennysunrise8

I will keep that in mind, thank you for readout with your kindness and concern.

Reaching out not readout

I love your trees and your beautiful thank you and send you soothing calming energy from around the world to quicken your healing. Big love! ♥️💕🤟🏽🌹🍀💚💜💙🦁

@PatienceImpatiens

Thank you , I am grateful for your kindness and support.

I guess there’s something wrong with my dedication thing that is causing glitches here, so don’t go to it , I am sorry everyone,

I failed again.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami No my friend this isn't something caused by you. It's something that happens sometimes. They might be working on something somewhere else and it messed things up everywhere. You didn't fail at all! Please try not to think that way ❤️

I want to feel the love and kindness that have been shown to me. I feel nothing just blackness. I am truly thankful and appreciative and grateful for all of them, I just feel like a fraud because I don’t feel anything positive.

I want everyone to see what they inspired to be put together and dedicated to them I just don’t want any credit, I don’t deserve any.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami you do deserve it and its just a glitch hopefully will be fixed soon i know there are site updates going on and im sure a lot of frustrated people right now people post pics all the time its definately nothing you caused

@jennysunrise8

Thank you , I appreciate your reaching out to me. I understand the point you’re making. I’m sorry if I seem like I don’t understand what you’re saying.

My issues are running things at the moment and I am trying to stay with it.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami oh you dont seems like you dont understand at all i just didnt want you to think anything you did caused it i guess several glitches things are going on right now just one is we cant upvote some things not just there but all over 7cups just s you know... i tried to upvote this comment but couldnt not yet anyways i keep trying 😂

@jennysunrise8

no worries. Thank you

I’m ready for this battle to end. So be it if that means complete memory failure, at least the rest of the issues won’t matter anymore.

Weather is perfect for that walk. The opportunity has presented itself. But I have learned from past mistakes, I would only add to my issues nothing else. My problems are nothing compared to most everyone else’s. I’m just one who doesn’t have any issues that can be fixed, and I’m so self absorbed in my misery that emotions tried to grow and they withered before they could set roots.

Maybe I will get lucky and have a brain flicker and go for a walk . Maybe, just maybe….., I wish I could just rebuild the walls and go back to surviving. I don’t know if it was truly any different than now but , it seems like a good idea. Unpleasant memories of childhood plagued me today, I had a few flickers , I don’t think anything major,

trigger warnings…childhood trauma , suicide/suicidal ideation

I had visions of getting slapped in the back of the head frequently, along with getting the belt, and paddle nearly every night. Writing thousands of sentences. I remember a lot of the things I got this for was utterly ridiculous.

Grew up on the ritzy end of town so had a lot of uptight older neighbors. Turn bicycle around in their driveway, sentences an belt/paddle. Catch the corner, literally the corner of the grass while doing so, definitely belt and sentences. Complain about getting bullied, the same. Always doing something wrong in their eyes.

The images of the sexual abuse are horrific. The memories of the thoughts in my head back then …frightening.

The fact that I spent a lot of time at a very young age around ten, wandering around town by myself just to try and occupy my mind even then . Trying to not think the thoughts racing through my head back then. I was very close to that age when I first tried to end it. I tried several times throughout my younger years. Not necessarily in the traditional ways. I always got in the middle of the street fights and try and convince the aggressive one to fight me, I usually determined that by the first to draw a weapon, knife, gun or whatever. I was always doing stupid things to justify my own death. But I only succeeded in a lot of bodily harm.

I thought about ending it every day, actually that never stopped, I still struggle with suicidal ideation. With everything that was going on inside my head back then I never once considered doing what all these people are doing today . Creating so much tragedy because they are hurting. I don’t understand that.

I need to stop for awhile.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

Hi Iam.

For my 70th. birthday I got a bonsai tree from my nephew, the trunk all turned and turned. Poor tree! (You can google it if you don't know what I mean). I think of the trunk as the sufferings in my life (and yours). But hopefully we will be at a peaceful place when finished.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

For you and for me Iam: Filipens 4.6-7.

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

Good morning to you Iam.

@Helgafy

Hello, how are you doing?

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

Hi - are you still there?