This doesn't seem helpful

I am sorry you had this experience. When I was a member I had a number of less than great experiences and it was one reason I became a listener.

Have you tried the chat rooms? This is all run by volunteers in terms of listeners and everybody is different and has a different style. If a listener isn’t working for you then I suggest you politely tell them that you need to go looking to trying somebody else.

Personally I find the forums clunky and hard to navigate. I try my best with all one on one chats I do but I’m only

human, and sometimes I am having a tough time with a conversation. Maybe it’s hard to get the member to talk, maybe it’s an issue I don’t get, or maybe I’ve just gotten too tired without realizing it.

anyway, all this is to say I understand and that I hope you find someone who makes you feel heard.

@JaneSustenListens

Thank you, I appreciate that. I'm actually starting to fear going to the listeners, but maybe completely need a female one, since the male ones have been rather creepy.

@LovelyPlace4774 I'm sorry you're experiencing this. Maybe I can relate. I'm very new to the site and trying to understand how it all works. I'm a very organized person, and I'm having a hard time following the structure of the different components. I tried the 1-1 listener chat, and the person just stopped talking to me after three turns. An hour later, they just said, "I didn't see your message." I've participated in the circle, and while it seems to be supportive, I don't think I quite understand it yet and it was confusing the way people were seemingly talking about separate things all at once. Maybe for some of us regular counseling is the best option? I'm not going to give up just yet, necessarily, but I guess my point is that we have to give it time to make sense. I wish you the best!!

@NYtoLA

You're right and I am trying to give it time. I have been in a group chat, before, but it seemed overwhelming because of what one person was talking about. If I could afford regular counseling, I would do that, because it might be better.

I appreciate your response.

@LovelyPlace4774 try betterhelp its affordable

@LovelyPlace4774 You right, they could say something. They should say something. I'm guilty of this myself. I will often heart a post as a way of saying I hear someone but I don't always reply. It might be because I don't know what to say or it isn't something I understand, as you said but I could say something, anything to let that person know they were heard other than just hearting it. Thank you for pointing this out. It takes a lot of courage to point these things out. ❤

@mytwistedsoul

Thank you. I not sure if it was courage or frustration lol. I am feeling a little better about it, but think I need to stay away from the listeners.

@LovelyPlace4774 You're welcome, maybe it was a combination of the two? 🙂 When I first started here I had horrible luck with listeners too. It took months, maybe even closer to a year before I found a decent listener. I've found that what worked for me was a thread in a diary section. Maybe put in the title or in your first post that replies are welcome. That way other people might feel more comfortable leaving replies. You could even tag some of the people here from this thread if you'd like. I'm sure no one would mind. But it's just a suggestion okay? Absolutely no pressure at all though!

@mytwistedsoul

I will start doing that. I am also not sure exactly where to post. The check-ins all have specific questions, so I mostly don't post if it doesn't feel relevant.

@LovelyPlace4774 There's a couple different communities that have diary or journal threads. This link will take you to the general support General support- Diary entries

The trauma community also has a journal area here. Journaling stories

The check-ins can be hit and miss but even with the questions you're welcome to disregard them and write anything that's on your mind. You won't get into any trouble. 🙂

@mytwistedsoul That's a great idea!

Let's talk. :) leave me a message.

@LovelyPlace4774 You're right. Too many posts in the forum don't get replies. There's a scheme to try and ensure that everyone gets a reply eventually, but still it can sometimes take several weeks.

More people seem to be reporting bad experiences with listeners recently. All I can suggest is that you choose carefully from the Browse Listeners page, looking for a listener who has a Chat Now button and a lot of good reviews. You can also filter the list for females, if you like. It's also important to report any listener who seems creepy. I hope that by choosing carefully you'll be able to get better support here.

Charlie

@RarelyCharlie

Thank you. I have recently looked at the browse listeners, but didn't actually contact anyone that way. I will try that the next time I'm looking for a listener.

Hi. Im really sorry you felt that way. I know that feeling. Havent quite experience it in here but through life experience, I resonate with what you say. Please know that you really matter. I agree with what you say, people in general should adress how they feel and be more considerate with others feelings. Because Ive kind of being on both sides, I feel some people just really find it hard to put on the words, or just to avoid hurting others feelings or their own feelings, they say no more. I can tell you have great values and are a good hearted person. Hang in there Im sure you'll find people whom you will feel heard and loved and respected. Everyone just acts upon how they are and have little to do with the other most of the times, as cliché as it might sounds. I hope you have a great day 💜 as for this app...I have find myself blessed into meeting some wonferful people as listeners...but some other times they didnt respond either. I didnt took it personal, but keep trying, I feel this is a site with lots of compassionate people...try forums and community chats as well. 🌈🦋

Also If you feel like talking to someone Im here 🥰

@sunflow

Thank you, I appreciate that. I am still learning to navigate and although I used the site several years ago, it seems like I'm having difficulty learning to use it again. Maybe I never really knew how to use it LOL

I can understand where your coming from me personally have had a great out come from this app but it took time to come in contact with the right groups forums and listeners it takes a while to navigate this site properly to find good ending results my advice would be please don't give up or lose hope just yet keep on adventuring trying things out if it's a hot awesome if it's a miss move on chin up your amazing and doing the best you can

@diamondintheROUGH2022

Thank you. I really appreciate it 😊

I was a listener for quite a while and have been a member for longer. Over the past couple years, the quality has definitely gone down. I don't have the emotional capacity to volunteer right now, and having done so before, I can definitely understand that it can take a toll and some people may not know their limits until they take one too many peoples' requests. However, instead of either giving uninterested responses or basically repeating what you say, they could offer to refer you to another volunteer (at least I did that when I volunteered a couple years ago?) or at minimum be honest that they may reply slow due to other requests, but they're trying. Something.

I replied late to a volunteer by five minutes, and I apologised. When I responded to them, they never said anything in return, even waiting over twenty minutes. I've had this happen repeatedly, or someone will take my request and say nothing at all. I don't know what's worse, a listener who is obviously not paying attention and is not very interested, or one that says nothing at all.

Sorry to mini-rant on your post - I guess all this is to say you're definitely not alone. I've had a few good experiences on here with people who genuinely care - often it takes three or four times in queue, which, honestly, is not great when you're desperate for support - but there are a few good volunteers on here.

You may have luck with the search function.

I wish you all the best and hope you feel better soon. Take care.

@dufratinator

Thank you. I have thought about being a listener, but also think that I don't have the emotional capacity right now. Maybe in time I will be able to be. I am glad for your mini-rant, because it really did help me see it from both sides.

I have had some crummy experiences and some awesome ones over time and I do subscribe to the paid therapy. It takes time. Your honesty and assertiveness inspires me. Thank you for posting.

@LovelyPlace4774

This sounds rather familiar...am sorry to hear it isn't working out for you. Tonight I am realizing that online communities like 7Cups can only do so much. In all fairness, they do post messages that say so here & there ("if you are in crisis, call this hotline" etc.). You managed to get ahold of Listeners, though...how did you do it? Thus far my attempts have all been unsuccessful.

Gotta say, if your experiences with male ones have been "creepy" then I have to wonder how many Listeners here are actually good at what they do. As for paying for therapy, how many on this site can afford it, especially in these days of 9+% inflation...

Something else, @Lovelyplace4774: If you're having trouble with a Listener, there's this: inappropriate listener FAQ

@slowdecline48

I'm sorry to hear that all your attempts to connect to a listener have been unsuccessful. I'm glad we could connect some while ago though. Sometimes the site can be very busy but you can always browse for a listener and leave a message if they are not online or also join to chat request queue. Usually the waiting times are just a very few minutes. 7cups is trying their very best to make sure that listeners get a good training but like with everything, no one is perfect. So, if you find a listener is inappropriate please report them to ensure they get the training they need.

@LovelyPlace4774 This site can really suck sometimes. It can take too long for listeners to accept a chat, or sometimes I’ve gotten really bad listeners. Other times it has been helpful. If you find a good listener once in awhile it can be worth putting up with the drawbacks. I hope you find good listeners.

@LovelyPlace4774 hope we can keep in touch with each other, i know how we feel. I will listen to you.

@LovelyPlace4774 maybe professional help is better for you. i reccomend betterhelp

@LovelyPlace4774

Unfortunately your profile set-up does not allow to receive messages from listeners. I realized that you were active the last time in May but if you read this message please know you're welcome to message me.

@RonnyM217

I'm sorry to hear that you had some bad experiences here. It can be frustrating when everyone in a chat room is trying to talk at the same time. Open chats can become very busy, usually guided discussions are much different. 7cups is always open to hear constructive feedback, if there is anything you like to express please check this link and form https://www.7cups.com/forum/SiteUpdatesInformationFortheCommunity_100/Feedback_37/NewCommunityFeedbackProcess_264411/1/#2836050

Nice to hear that you still come back and I hope you're also finding support here.

@LovelyPlace4774

hugs

I think i have learnt topost on weekends, some days I dont even get a response.

I can say of myself I'm a forum veteran, but I've never seen forums so hard to navigate as this. Maybe except for Reddit and this is why I can't stand Reddit. Way too many forums and subforums and too many one post threads.

As for the quality of listeners, I can't really comment, but I've heard that some people are using this as a dating app. I've seen some members using very suggestive and inappropriate names that seem to support it.

I'm sure its hard to police a site like this. Or the real life. That's life (sigh).

@aquajaybird I am sorry you are finding the site difficult to find support. If you tell us what kind of support or subcommunities you are looking for support in, I will try to direct you to the resources here at 7cups. Please tag the post with @soulsings so I get an alert.

We take anonymity very seriously and member safety. Anyone that is found exchanging personal info to have offsite contact is liable to losing privileges on 7cups. We try to make joining 7cups easy but some people may try to find ways to take advantage of this easy joining and may try to evade detection, but usually they are detected so they can do no harm to members.

Of course safety is not something we can dictate. We strongly encourage members and listeners not to offer personal contact info to protect their anonymity and prevent them from being vulnerable. It is up to members and listeners to keep their personal contact info out of 7cups.

Thank you for being part of the 7cups community.