Hi I’m new here

I'm sorry for all the stress your under. I personally haven't been in your exact situation but I can relate to the depression part. My story is long and traumatic but I do know that therapy has been instrumental in moving forward and getting to a better frame of mind. It's taken a few years but it is working. 7 cups has been super supportive and I have 2 listeners that help me when I'm in between therapy sessions ,,, ones a man ones a woman. I like the different perspectives. Therapy taught me to put myself first so I can help others in my circle/ family. You can't help anyone if you don't feel well mind or body. I think us mom's always sacrafice way more than we should and we stop caring for ourselves. I'm over 50 with 2 grown kids ...I started working out, going to regular Dr appts, seeing therapist weekly, journaling all the good things about myself and my life, and reading alot. Doing little things that made me happy like cooking something special I like or getting myself flowers or having a spa visit. Things I never did for myself. These actions made me feel better about myself and I'm not completely well but I'm going in the right direction. I hope some of my post helps you in some way. Best always ABB💜

Thanks for sharing your feelings! I’m a newbie on here and I am just trying to navigate through and I stumbled upon your introduction. I can somewhat relate to how you feel. I’m in my 40’s as well and I have 2 grown children. One is my daughter and the other is my stepdaughter. Neither one of them live at home anymore. It’s just my husband and I and two fur babies. My husband is a good guy. But he just doesn’t pay attention to me. I have been so lonely. It is starting to take an emotional toll on me. Sometimes tears just fall from my eyes and I am not even thinking about anything in particular or at least I don’t think I am. It’s become more frequent in the last few months. I know lots of people but I don’t have many friends to chat with or confide in or even call up and talk to. Sometimes I try to see how long I can go without talking when I am home just to see if he even realizes I have been so quiet or silent. I work full time in the medical field so even though some days I may be extremely busy at work, I actually enjoy it because I socialize a lot with patients especially the elderly ones who seem to also be looking for some type of human interaction. Sometimes I leave work even later than normal because I know when I come home I won’t be talking or socializing. I know my fur babies love me though.♥️ That actually felt good to get that off my chest. Thanks again for sharing your story!

@creativeFriend 8625

I commend you for working in the medical field and admire your dedication. Thanks for sharing your story here about loneliness. I too feel very much alone. I love 7cups it helps to connect with others feeling the same way. It's nice to see you here. I too care alot about ppl who suffer and have no say...I get it, i was an abused child with no say and no help. The Elderly, children and pets are at the mercy of their caretakers and you sound like the right person to be there for them ...you have a beautiful ❤️ heart.... Best 💜 ABB

Hello I’m sorry for what you are going through I’m here for you

Oh and I am female!👩🏻

@amiableblackberry92

Thank you so much for your reply to my post. I also have a counselor that i see every two weeks of course she is talking to me cheering me up to keep going, but I just talk and talk and I feel like I don’t go anywhere. Sure it does help me when I talk to her but after I leave her office I go back to my old self again depress and having a hard time with my daily routines. I also see a psychiatrist she does prescribe me medication to help me with my anxiety and moods also to help me sleep, but I feel not even the medications are working for me at this point. I’m so down and low on energy not even wanting to get out of bed I even lost interest on the things I just to enjoy before. I don’t know what is going on with me before I was a happy person that use to enjoy life I loved to go out have some fun and now I’m in a dark hole that I feel I’m trap. I blame my partner that I’m this way because he drinks daily and he’s drinking has made me lose my own self. He drinks every day I’m still with him because I want our relationship to work, but if he doesn’t want to receive the help then what can I do. I also do journaling actually I love to do that every night sure it does help me a bit to get my things out but then the next following day I’m depress all over again. I have told my counselor what might be the problem because I been with her since 2018 and I don’t see any improvement. I’m to the point that I don’t want to talk to anyone I have a sister my age that she does call me and I just don’t want to pick up the phone at all. I feel so sad avoiding my sister but I think it’s my depression mostly than my anxiety because their is days that are harder than others but then again I think about my 4 wonderful children that are my motivation and thanks to them I was able to be a mom. Let me ask you this how long did it took you to make you feel like your own self again? Because for me it’s already 3 years and I see nothing changing, it’s slowly consuming me from the inside I know that maybe you don’t want to share your story but I really hope you do maybe we can still help one another. I do happen to have one listener that is there for me but not as much as I want him to. I try to connect with a female listener instead but all I get is males. How hard it is to move forward living like this :( thanks again for your posting it really help to feel that I’m not alone.

@Lasweetbaby34

You are doing great reaching out for help with professional ppl. Meds can help, I take meds also. I think for me from what you wrote your really sad about the loss of your good friend. I'm so sorry that happened. Ugh this life will really challenge us. ( I lost 3 ppl to cancer in the last 10 years)

As a child I was severely abused and when I became old enough to escape I found my hub and getting married to him was my way out. I had to create a persona to survive my childhood. Because of this I pretty much faked my way through 5 decades of my life because being my real self was something I didn't know how to do and I was driven by alot of fear.

When my abuser died a few years ago a mountain of emotional pain poured out ...I felt safe enough to let it out I guess. Facing all my abuse was really tough. I was in a really toxic situation at my job and I had a really bad medical condition going on, plus I was s. assaulted during this time frame. I pretty much went off the deep end and I had no one to turn to because all my relationships were unconnected/fake because I wasn't being my true self. I've been to the depths of darkness that brought me to suicidde. I was diagnosed CPTSD MDD Anxiety. I left the toxic job because it literally was killlng me. I've never not worked so being home all the time has new challenges for me. I feel alone alot. It's taken almost 4 years of therapy to get me to this point. I have one best friend and feel lucky to have her. I wish I had more but I'm not a good communicator and I've been backstabbed enough to be extremely wary of ppl. There's alot of bad ppl in this life and I am a magnet for them because of my childhood abuse I tend to think it's normal to be treated badly. So I'm working on that. Setting boundaries and saying no. I still have a really long way to go to be well and at peace and some days I don't want to deal with anything. I think because my damage is so severe I'm unable to connect with ppl. I wasn't loved as a child and that really messes you up. I did one thing right I raised my kids with love and affection and they knew they were loved.. I wanted them to have what I didn't. They are successful beautiful sensitive adults and I feel it's the one thing I did good in my life.

I think if there's a free alcoholic anonymous group for family you can consider going for yourself to find support about your hub...but I'm not sure about that I'm no expert. ( Your therapist might be able to suggest an idea) ... I know that one of my kids went to a few as an educational requirement during her college years. She said everyone should attend those meetings wether or not they have problems with it or know someone with problems with it as she said it was an excellent eye opening experience for her and she learned alot. Well that's some of my story, its uglier than what's posted here but I don't want to trigger anyone. I hope it helps. Best always 💜 ABB

Hello @creativefriend8625,

Thanks so much for replying to my post. I’m happy to hear from at least 2 people on here that are going through similar things that I’m going through now. I’m so glad that you are working in the medical field and you are able to interact with people at some point, but not me. I just to have a job that I was able to interact with people like that to. But do to my medical issues I had to quit so now I’m a home stay mom that has to be home do lots of duties trust me I’m to the point that I want to pull my own hairs out. My partner is the one working now but he doesn’t help me with things around the house our pays attention to me either, like I said he is always drinking daily and he chooses that over me and he’s girls. It’s just sad having a family a partner and feeling like you are more lonely than ever I get what you are saying I don’t have friends close to me the one I had before she passed away a year ago and she just to be my best friend I miss her so much. :( and I know that it’s really hard to find friends now a days that can connect with you but I really hope I can because that way I can feel a little bit better. I’m glad that you at least have your fur-babies to go home to I know it’s not the same as a person, but a pet is like a family member and they are more loyal and loving than a person could be. I wish I could have a fur-baby to, but the way I’m feeling I don’t even think I will pay attention to it. But I do love pets I use to have a shih tzu and it broke my heart because one of my aunts gave 2 of them away when I trusted her to take care of them and I was not able to. I’m so low on energy right now I don’t feel like doing anything I also have a hard time going to sleep at night because I have a lot on my mind since I’m a worry person. My right arm hurts all the time at night time not sure why so that keeps me up to I just think it’s my high blood pressure that is keeping me awake. Thanks again for your reply it made my day I really hope that I can meet some people on here just to talk and get things out of my chest I think it will help most of us.

@Lasweetbaby34 we are here for you, anytime you wanna talk you can message. i'll try my best to understand your feelings.

@altruistic8155,

Hello thank you so much will do. I don’t know how to connect with you guys but I will try to figure it out.. :)

@amiableblackberry92,

Omg I’m so sorry to hear this my heart breaks for you. Being unloved and abusive since a kid is very traumatic I went through the same thing you did. We might have similarities which is sad and it marked us for life. I was also abusive since I was 8 years old up till I was 20 years old. You can’t believe how horrible that was being a child and going through that especially when it was one of your family members is even worse. Ever since that happen to me I was never the same and I still I’m not maybe that is the reason I’m un happy now, because what I also went though one i was a child. I didn’t receive love from my parents either I was always alone and quiet after this. My parents were always strict with me and never knew why I was always quiet and always writing in my journals. Maybe that is the reason I cannot be happy with my partner either, but he’s problem is the drinking. Thanks so much for the info on the alcoholic program I didn’t know that everyone could attend to it. I thought it was only the person that consumed it which is vert stressful and overwhelming living with a person like this. :(

I’m always sad depress and I tell my husband quit drinking lets go out do something fun but he’s always drunk so maybe seeing him like this every day is making me low and not interested on doing anything. I really want to stay alone and maybe consider living only with my kids, but my older ones which are boys are already independent and i don’t want to ruin their life’s with mine so I just want to stay away and be miserable. That is good that you at least have a best friend and you might be able to talk to her, but not me I have no one in particular sure I have my sister she is almost the same age as me just a year younger, but she is always busy with her little ones, so I don’t want to bother her with my problems. She does try to call me at times, but all I do is reject her calls don’t want to talk to anyone right now and it’s making me be apart from my while family. I have my girls that are ages 14, and 12 and i try to talk to them to see if they can hear me out but they just scream at me and say leave me alone mom I don’t want to talk to you right now, so they go back to their phones.

I just see that all they do is be on their phones all day and they don’t care about anyone else but themselves, so I try to be a good mom to my kids but since all of them are teenagers they don’t want to be with mom anymore all they want is be with friends and that is it making them happy. Sure they want mom to be there for them when they really need something but after that mom i don’t need you go away :( trust me I do the same thing you do try to give my own kids the love and attention my own parents didn’t give me as a was a child. But my own kids don’t see that they don’t know how hard it is being a mom especially when their own mom is not doing well and tries very hard to be there for all of them when they need me. Sometimes i feel like giving up and just let them do their own thing alone and not even be there, but i consider and say I cannot do that they are my kids and just be there anyways. I wish I was as tuff as you because for me you are tuff by getting at least better in years, for me is not ok I’m empty from the inside it’s like i even hate myself when i look at the mirror.

And wonder why I’m here but then I try to distract myself with either listen to music or writing in my journal which that is also a good therapy for me to. But after I don’t do all that it comes to a complete sadness and i just start crying for no reason and i even scream in the top of my lungs and say enough!!!! Trust me everything I’m telling you I tell my therapist but i just see no improvement at all I just talk and talk and they never do anything. I just don’t know what else to do, this why I’m here but its really hard to talk to people here i know we have busy life’s i do to with being a mom but I still manage to do time for everything not sure how i do it, but i do it. That is the reason why my anxiety is out of control sometimes i don’t even concentrate or forget things when people are even talking to me is like I’m not there I’m in thin air somewhere spacing out. Does all this happen to you at all if it does how do you manage it even though you try to do everything to distract yourself?

@Lasweetbaby34

I'm sorry for your abusive childhood. It definitely shapes your adult life.

I have to say that my assault changed everything for me. I was in such trauma I couldn't function anymore. My hub took over any needs of my adult kids but they were mostly independent at the time. I started therapy and I think I have an especially great therapist. She taught me to take charge of my life. I started with getting rid of toxic job then I did some things for my health and medical problem. I started meds that was a big help. I made my home super comfy to my taste and started excercising. I guess you just got to make a list of things you want for your health and healing. Your teen girls are typical behaviors for that age. It's their way of learning how to be independent. I can say mine were rough at that age but now they are my friends and supporters in alot of ways because I was good to them even when they were at their worst. As adults they see what a pain they were at that time. Your girls will get better with time. This is your time to help you. Put yourself first. That was what I learned from therapist. I always thought I was a piece of cr*p because of my childhood and I never thought I deserved the things I needed from this life. I allowed alot if ppl to dump on me in alot of ways. I make a special effort to not allow that anymore. I deserve better than what I was getting.

To answer your question about how I manage when all I can see is darkness, sometimes if I can't pull myself up with hobbies or excercise or writing I will just breath and tell myself this darkness will pass you can do this just think about everything you've survived. One minute at a time. 7 cups helped a ton too during these nasty bouts of depression.

I have to say things really turned around when I started liking myself instead of hating myself. I used forgiveness of all my actions because I didn't see why I was doing things that weren't good for me. Forgive your abusers and forgive yourself. I prayed alot and used music meditation. It has been an uphill battle but I'm better and my life's circumstances are better.

As abused children we didn't learn how to communicate, how to help ourselves , how to find healthy living styles and relationships. We never learned how to love ourselves. We were too busy in survival mode 24/7. Now I am aware of this so now I can change it. I do read alot of self help books as guides to find myself and my truth ....

Hoping my post is helpful to you.

Best 💜 ABB

@amiableblackberry92,

Thank so much for your replies, you have been one of the first person that has reply to my posting and the only I’m actually posting back and forth. I was wondering why we can’t private message each other instead of doing it through posting. And i was told you can only private message someone when you become a listener. Which I’m like what? I actually thought everyone could do it but i guess not. Yes your postings have been helpful because you are giving me tips on how you are doing better and what works best for you, so i appreciated so much. For me I’m trying very hard to not give up and even though I might be having a hard time right now I’m sure one day I’m going to be fine I hope so. Yeah I hope one day my girls realize that they are doing wrong i do have older boys one of them is a bit understanding with me, but hardly even talks to me. Sure he does call me once and a while through face-time which is great but I wish he could do it more often but I know he has a family to, so I don’t bug him so much. As I’m writing you now I feel like I don’t even have the energy to move forward, I think its my diabetes, high blood, and depression all together. Thanks again for your replies and I hope you don’t become a stranger and let me know once in a while how you are doing.

@Lasweetbaby34

I'm so happy something I posted was helpful even if a small bit. I think getting your health under control should be on your list, your going to feel so much better. It's easy to just drop your needs to the bottom of the list but you deserve to feel good. Take just one step to self care reach out to a Dr or a nutritionist. That would be another supporter for your self care team. I had to take care of myself because no one else was going to do it. Getting healthy is a huge boost to feeling better and improving self worth. I'm not going to lie it's a lot of work but I feel and look better. And I want to be here for future grandkids. I need to be strong for them . Helping others helps me too. I volunteer at an assisted living facility in the arts department. I really enjoy helping ppl who have no hope because I've been there,feeling no hope. I would like to start couponing for personal care products for homeless shelters ...the basic things we have they dream about , like soap and a clean towel. I want to help kids who are homeless.

These are a few goals I have. There's alot of ppl suffering and I want to help. I couldn't help anyone 4 years ago I was a train wreck. But I'm better now so I can spend time helping others ..

I'm here just message me on this thread...I'm happy to help you feel less alone. I know that feeling I had alot of days in the darkness. I'm here. Best ABB💜

@amiabeblackberry92,

yes you might be right that I have to take care of my health more than anything. In order to be fine for others you need to be better yourself. But I’m even having a hard time with taking care of my own health. I do get medications lots of them, but I feel like a lot of them are not even doing anything for me. So I just stop taking them and I think that is the reason why I feel the way I feel. I also feel like my Dr doesn’t even care or pay attention to my specific needs, all she does is rush through everything, and say here you go I’m going to prescribe you a new medication.

without even wondering what is going on, and could it be the medicine that is giving me side effects and making things worse who knows. I feel like not even my counselor our my psychiatrist are doing any better for me, if they really where why do I feel the way I do now. Trust me I really want to feel better to, I also want to see my grandkids from my kids. I’m already a grandma of one sweet little girl of one of my boys. But not even knowing that I have family changes anything. I’m thinking the house fire that I had back in 2918 left me traumatize which isn’t good.

im happy that you are feeling better now and volunteering for organizations is good, I really hope that I’m able to do the same. Look it’s been 3 years of all this and it’s not getting any better, and even thinking it’s my husband the one that is putting all this pressure and sadness in my life. I just wished I had a nice guy like you do. I think things will be so much earlier for me I do want to get better, and I want to put my health first more than anything, but I’m just saying is it worth it? Is their anything that I need to change to feel better? I ask all this questions over and over and never come to an answer.

@Lasweetbaby34

I think at the beginning of my realization that my life had to change I was in shock. I wasn't making big jumps in progress and it took over a year to let go of my toxic job. I guess Everything in the time it's meant to take- and everyone needs time differently. Maybe your right about your spouse. If things changed in your relationship with him all other things would start to be clear and change for you. My relationship isn't perfect by any means but I have changed in alot of ways in my actions which changed him for the better. He took advantage of my weaknesses. But I started to write letters to him about things I wanted to improve on in our relationship. Im not a good communicator so writing is my way. Action creates a reaction...sometimes it works to get you where you want to be. Joining a gym helped me alot. Keep asking your Drs for more help. Be honest tell them that you don't think the meds are working or that you want to try something different. I wasn't good at first with the meds not taking them daily but my therapist was insistent I take them every day for 3 months before I made any decisions about them. She was kind of like the mum I never had in a way. I have a childish immature side from all the abuse I had as a kid but then there's the extra responsible mature side because I had to grow up so fast to survive. Just follow directions on the bottle don't give up. I really think if you change just a little something in your life you will start to notice a difference and it will empower you to change more to improve your circumstances...I'm here if you need me 💜ABB

@amiableblackberry92,

yeah I Know everyone is different when it comes to feeling better. But in my case the reason I’m not feeling better could be that I sometime forget to take my medication so theirs a obstacle, another thing is the legal issues I’m having to right now :( see it could be a possibility that I could face jail time for 6 months that is also killing me and making me worry so much. See the doctor doesn’t know this because I been cancelling my appointments with the doctor to because of my depression. I’m having a hard time sleeping every night, not sure if it’s depression, anxiety, high blood Pressure, or my diabetes that are keeping me awake. I have so much going on in my life right now that I feel like my head is about to explode. How can someone is able manage so much in their life? I’m going to sleep so late at night like around 3-4 in the night and waking up like around 2 in the afternoon and I still wake up tired. See i didn’t know that writing letters to your husband could even work like you are doing it. But it’s worth a shot I could write a letter to mine to telling him how I’m feeling but I don’t think it will work. He’s so into he’s drinking that it’s consuming he’s whole brain and is making him act like a jerk to me so it’s hard. I have an appointment with my counselor this Friday but only for a half an hour can you believe that? That time is not going to let me talk at all. I’m going to explain to her what is going on and how we can set up goals to help me get better, because I want to get better but just don’t know how and how long is going to take me.. I’m glad that you are taking steps and doing better for yourself I wish that could be me. But how can you feel any better with depression, anxiety, high blood pressure, diabetes, facing jail time in a month or so agh I want to scream so bad. I really do appreciate you commenting with me back in forth on this thread because I know we can’t private message each other.

@Lasweetbaby34

Yes you do have alot on your plate to deal with. A half hours not enough. Therapy once a week isn't enough for me that's what brought me to 7 cups I just needed more support.

I was thinking that your hubs drinking might be his way of coping with your being in jail for a period of time and he will have to take care of the home front on his own.

Keep asking for more from your professional team of ppl, Drs, therapist, psychiatrist. Sometimes we have to ask more than once for what we need. Communication is so hard for me so I tend to suffer in silence but I'm trying to be better at this.

I still have alot of hurdles to get through. I had a funeral tonight for a close friend and it was really hard.

I'm headed to the room I designated for my quiet place to read, write and watch Netflix. I'll light a candle snuggle on my sofa with comfy pillows and just be silent for awhile. Hang up the don't disturb sign .

It's a good spot.

Best always 💜 ABB

@amiableblackberry92,

I’m sorry that I’m just responding back to you, I haven’t been feeling well at all with all my health problems that I’m having as well as the difficulties in my own home it’s making me low on energy. Well it’s sour of some that he’s drinking could do to him doing everything when I have to serve time, but not really. He’s drinking has been going on for years now so he’s already an alcoholic to me that doesn’t know how to stop. He doesn’t care about he’s family or anything that is going around him. Because if he would of cared he will understand that drinking is not only affecting him it’s affecting the entire family in general. And take me for example he’s drinking is already causing me a lot of distress and low of energy. What else is next? As I’m sitting in my kitchen table now I’m warn out I had to do so much today. I had to go do the shopping for our new puppy that is going to be arriving next month, so that at least puts a little smile to my face :) I had to do shopping for my girls and the household. See it’s always me me never him so it’s like I’m living in the household alone.

I don’t understand how can a drunk person have 2 different personalities because that is what my partner has when he is drunk he intends to say hurtful things to me and he puts me down all the time. The next day he is sober he acts like nothing has ever happen and wants to continue with me like normal. But I don’t happen to work that way the way my emotional situation is right now I’m not doing well I’m not functioning so well. Everything is hard for me even to do my own chores around the house activities that I loved before, and I told this to my Dr, Counselor, and psychiatrist. But none of them give me an answer of what might be going on. Tomorrow I have a psychiatrist appointment and I’m going to let her know that my sleeping medication is not working not sure why it could be all my health that is affecting me all together. Yeah tell me about it before I was having an hour sessions with my counselor and now they just lower it down to a half an hour. Which i was like what it’s not enough for me I need to talk feel better but it’s maybe because my counselor is really booked and well it’s hard to.

I have a session with her this Friday to but it’s not going to be enough, that is why I’m in 7cups to almost everyday because reading peoples postings, and me replying to them some what help me a little. And I see some of them relate to what I’m going through as well, so I love it here. I recently joined back in January 2020, but didn’t really payed attention to it, so I left. And came back in 2021 but not sure how it works still I’m kind of exploring. Trust me I’m the type of person that i love to write to and even typing is great for me :) and I love journaling to. See me and you are kind of different in the part of communicating. Because I communicate more by talking to people, texting them or even in person. I don’t mind writing letters to people but I do that when they are only far away from me, but not when someone is near me. I get that everyone is different in that communication part, and believe me right now I don’t even want to go to sleep because I already know Im going to have a hard time going to sleep it’s driving me crazy.

@Lasweetbaby34

I'm so glad 7 cups is helpful to you. It is for me too. It helps to know you are not alone in all this. I have days when I feel numb with my aloneness . 7 cups ppl are wonderful caring ppl.

Yesterday was really tough , a funeral for my daughter in laws Dad. It was at the same chapel my Dads was at a few years ago. It hit me like a train emotionally. Ugh. I guess I'm still in alot of trauma.

Anyway I think you are becoming aware of the circumstances if your situation and how it's affecting you negatively. I started to become aware and that's when things changed . I got a little pocket size journal and started listing all the stuff I wanted to change in my life and as they started to come true I put a check next to them in the journal. I realized I am the only one who can change my life and with reaching out to help from others I did alot.

You can't change the ppl around you but you can change how you react to them. Or not react. Your hubs situation is really a tough one. He is the only one who can change it. He has to realize and commit to finding help. I'm sorry about that situation. I'm not a big help with this but my hubs dad was an alcoholic so he is determined not to be one so he doesn't drink. He's far from perfect, he likes gambling.

I hope you have a lawyer that is helping you with the legal stuff related to your serving potential time ...I don't know alot about this but isn't the court supposed to appoint someone ? If not ask .

I'm glad your going to your appts for help. This is crucial for your self help plan. If possible start walking just 10 minutes outside every day ..this little bit of fresh air and excercise can change the endorphins in your brain and boost your mood. Your life's important and you deserve to feel good.

I'm excited your getting a new puppy...omg this is going to be great to boost you and your family members happiness. Dogs love you no matter what's going on. Both my kids have one and I watch them when they are busy/ not home. They are so lovable. One is all about treats I can get her to do anything for a dog cookie. The other one is all about toys and playing catch. Once you figure out what they love you can gain trust and obedience. I love them. Have you picked a name yet? And what kind of dog -if you don't mind sharing. If not I understand, no worries.

Best always 💜 ABB

@amiableblackberry92,

I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter’ in law dad’s that sounds like it does make you emotional especially being in the same location that you visited before. Sending you a big hug I’m here for you.. in regards to my legal case with the court yes they pointed me out and gave me a public defensor which I have no idea who he is because I have never meet him before. The only person I been talking to through out my whole case is an investigator that is it. He is the only communicating everything to the public defender. I was not able to afford one myself so I had to get one through the state. These people don’t even help all they are doing is making look bad in front of the judge because supposedly I’m not calling them, and i’m all the time. The type of dog we are getting is a chi-poo and he’s name is Sparky one of my girls picked he’s name. We already went shopping for he’s items so we are prepared for him to come home already.. how about you what type of dog does your family have and what are their names? Yeah I guess I have to manage my days to actually do that walking. Because today I went to see the psychiatrist I was in a rush when I got there and also feeling horrible I couldn’t hear what she was saying to me, and what is worse I went without eating :( I told her I was not taking my medication because I don’t know what could be going on with me, and she said how are you going to feel better if you are not taking it.

@Lasweetbaby34

I'm ok for today, I was thinking about the psychiatrist suggesting your taking the meds. Try it for 2 weeks straight see if it really does help. Make yourself a nice lunch and then go for a walk in a pretty place you love.

So excited about your new sparky!! This is going to lift your spirits so much. You can take him on short walks too.

I can't afford a lawyer they are outrageous expensive. I need one to protect me from my psychotic brother but that's a whole other problem.

Just know that you are not alone in your suffering. We are all suffering on some level and ppl here do care because they understand the pain and the darkness. Keep writing here and reaching out. It does help. You can tell me as much or as little as you like. I never judge ppl because I know what it feels like to be judged and used, abused and gossiped about. It's an awful way to live.

I don't trust easily I've been burned by all types including medical ppl.

So my son's dog is a yellow lab and my daughter has a Staffordshire mix, he looks like a pit bull but has the heart of sweetness and love .. he was a rescue so has some trauma. I can see it in ppl and animals, trauma I recognize easily. Him and I really understand each other.

I hope your holding on and pls message me anytime. Best always 💜 ABB

@amiableblackberry92,

I really appreciate you been here for me and giving me some advice even though you might not be to good on communicating you are really doing a wonderful job with me. You been giving me some tips on what has worked for you and I thank you for that. Even though I know it’s going to take some time since I’m under a lot of stress, overwhelming, depression you know it Gosh I just have a lot going on. Yes! I think this puppy is going to bring so much joy to our household I think it’s going to full the emptiness that our other 2 dogs shih tzu that we previously had. We are so sad that our family has them and they don’t want to give them back to us even if we pay them the money that they have wasted on them. They took both my puppies without me knowing and now they are trying to keep them I’m so mad. But I know my sparky is going to bring so much love to me, even though it’s going to be my daughters puppy I will consider him mine to. Tomorrow I have the counselor appointment and only half and hour agh not enough that is why I’m here because writing to people communicating in this site gives me some type of happiness. I love to read other peoples postings and give them some advice so yeah I must say 7 cups is great to have. Thanks again for the wonderful support you have been till now you are the only one that has been messaging me back and forth nobody else seems to do this. It sounds to me like you have a big heart <3 to help other people even though you might be having some difficulties still, hope you are having a wonderful day take care <3

@Lasweetbaby34

Your so welcome, I'm happy to support you. I'm just the kinda person that wants ppl to know they aren't alone in all this.

I think your going to see a great change in all your family members when the dog arrives. Sparky is a great name too.

I'm glad your reading other ppls posts on 7 cups. It does help to see there's plenty of ppl out here with alot of stuff to deal with. Trying to help is great too it does make you feel better. I see that your load is heavy and things tend to all go down at the same time in life.

I did go out to dinner with my one good friend tonight and it was nice ....it's part of my self care plan to go out with her at least a couple times a month for dinner...even if I can't really afford it.

I hope you started a self care list for yourself. I'm around here alot so message me I will respond as soon as I can. 💜ABB

@Lasweetbaby34

I thought you'd like this link...I hope it helps, it helps me see my depression differently...💜

https://We’ve Got Depression All Wrong. It’s Trying to Save Us. | Psychology Today

www.psychologytoday.com,us,blog,shouldstorm,202012,we-ve-got-depression-all-wrong-it-s-trying-save-us

@Lasweetbaby34

I thought I'd just say hi, thinking about you. I'm trying to enjoy good weather here. Reading a good book. I took my Hub out for lunch yesterday and it was fun. We never go out to eat, it's expensive but I needed a splurge. I hope your doing ok. 💜ABB

Hello how are you I use to stay in Illinois Chicago but now I’m in CT I completely understand you I’m here if you ever want to talk

@amiableblackberry92

I’m sorry I haven’t replied back, I haven’t been feeling well plus yesterday I had a family party it was really fun. I enjoyed being with all my family and we dance and had a good time. Also my partner went with me but as you can see he was so drunk 🥴 like always so I had to drive home. Today i’m Just at home relaxing since my feet hurt so much of dancing all night. Being at the party made me forget about all the problems that I actually have. But then I come home and it’s all coming back, it’s like my house is curse our something. But that’s awesome that you took your husband’s out to eat. Sometimes we just need that to enjoy some quality time together. Thank you so much for not forgetting about me and always having me on your mind. You are always on my mind to, thank you again for giving me that support that I need and I hope that you keep continue writing to me it makes me feel happy 😃 thanks also for the website you sent me I will check it out. Hope your doing well to take care and much love ❤️

@Lasweetbaby34

I'm so glad you got out of the house and had some fun!!🌈 You deserve to relax! I'm thrilled to see your making more friends here too. That's what's great about 7 cups there's always someone to chat with who understands all the stuff we gotta get through in this life. We need real support that comes from real ppl with the experience to understand. You are not alone and gathering more company 👍☺️yay!!

I don't forget ppl or their pain it's why I'm here for you. ☺️

ABB💜

@amiableblackberry92

Thank you so much 😊 and yes this site has been wonderful I’m kind of getting the hang of it already.. and yes I hope I continue to meet more people and for me to also give them the support that they need. Right now I’m doing great but I still have my ups and downs and I know this is not over yet. I hope your having a great weekend much love to you ❤️

Hey @amiableblackberry92,

just wanted to check on you, and see how you were doing today? I don’t know, but I wanted to post for so long and for some reason it didn’t let me it was so frustrating. And now I’m trying again and hopefully it does let me. For me im not really doing well I have so much anxiety and worries right now. You know that my court is in 2 days and I don’t even know what is going to happen. Im just so concern. And now I just think why did I get myself into this mess ☹️ I hope I hear from you take care..

@Lasweetbaby34

I'm so glad to hear from you.

Wow that was quick, the court date. I'm sure that's extremely stressful for you. I will 🙏 pray for the court to go easy on you. Make sure they know that your taking steps to improve and going to therapy etc. Your more aware now and are changing. Awareness changes you. I think it's been really good for me, this awareness stuff. My therapist is trying a new tapping technique to eliminate my trauma fallout. We just started so we will see, I think it's going to work. Hoping .🤞

I'm here if you need an ear or virtual 🤗 hug.

Did you get the new puppy? Pets are so lovable and can make such a difference in our day to day life.

Remember to breath during the court appt. Breathing helps so much and we don't realize it. It's got such a good oxygen pump to the brain. I have a sign on a wall to remind me to breathe lol. A former good coworker gave it to me.

I'm struggling with finances but I just keep praying for better days to come my way. Trying hard to not spend on extras. Trimming that grocery list lol.

Best ABB 💜

@amiableblackberry92,

well it is stressful to be honest, right now I’m having a major breakdown because I’m thinking about it. Honestly the county I currently live in they don’t care about my health, or my techniques I’m doing with my therapist. They say nothing could help my case, so right now I’m just giving in you know. Theirs nothing that could save me now. The only concern is my family they are my world, and not sure what is going to happen if they are left alone. See I have no one to help me. So I’m just alone on this, right now I’m trying to distract myself with anything I could think of but it’s still hard.

I have 2 courts so imagine how I’m right now. Thank you so much for the prayers, I should need them right now ☹️ I’m miserable and anxious 😕 so honestly I’m going to have to talk to my therapist this week of ways to help me. But at this time not even the therapist are helping me. So I’m just stuck alone you know in my own worries. I’m sorry what you are going through to, but isn’t your husband helping you with these financial issues you are having? Oh yes we did bring our new puppy home this week, he’s so cute and smart.

but as far as for me not even the puppy is making me happy he just whines so much that is making me be stress a lot more. I know he is just a baby, but I was already so just to not having a puppy home that it’s just hard. He’s name is sparky 😄he’s a chi-poo he’s so fluffy and chunky you should see him he’s so adorable. My girls love him since they don’t have their other 2 puppies we had before. We just to have shih-tuz and honestly I love them better but that breed was also stubborn but I just miss my other puppies. But I know they are in good hands with my family now.

@Lasweetbaby34

I'm sure your shaking head to toe about this upcoming potentially life changing event. I had a couple really big events that changed my life forever but I will tell you that during that sunami of a sh** storm I didn't think I was going to make it. And I was in horrible emotional and physical pain. Barely functioning. But after I started therapy one minute at a time my life started to change. I had to claw my way out of that storm.and it wasn't easy. I slipped backwards many times, still do but rotten things happen so that great things can happen. Maybe this situation your in is teaching you and telling you about yourself. Your real self and the things you can do to help others ,Of course after you come out of the storm on the other side.

I think painful events help bring light into the dark for us. I know this is difficult to the extreme but your strong , you can do it. Your kids will be ok. Tell the older kids to help check in on the young girls if they can. I'm right here holding your hand . It's going to be ok I just know it. Let's keep praying to God to give mercy to you on this court date. I know this is a sign for you to help others. If you end up inside help whom you can until you can get back home. Be gentle with yourself, your only human, guess what?😉 every single one of us makes mistakes, what counts is learning and making better choices in the future. I wish I was near to you so I could just be there to listen and hold your hand.

But I'm right here on 7 cups just message on this thread it will find me and I promise to respond ... Best 💜 ABB

@Lasweetbaby34

If I don't respond to you immediately I'm sleeping but as soon as I get up I will respond to you. Just wanted you to know I haven't gone anywhere. I just want you to know that your not really alone . It feels like it but there's many who care about you here.

ABB 💜

I’m here if you ever want to chat

Thank you I’m online now and saw your sweet comment, I don’t know how we can chat privately, but all I do is reply back to postings. How are you today? @ambitiousDrum84.

@ambitiousdrum84

Hello it’s really nice to meet you and thanks for your reply to my post. Nice I’m glad to know that you just to live in Chicago Illinois to. I hope that we are able to chat when you have the time, feel free to reply back if you will like take care.

I’m available now if you like

@ambitiousDrum84

So may I ask what brings you to 7 cups? Are you new to the website or you been here before already. I was here on January 2020, but left because I didn’t really knew how this site worked our how to handle it. So I just came back last month on August 2021 to see if I can get the hang out it and make new friends if I can, hang with me I really don’t know how to privately message you so it might have to be on my posts. If you saw my posting I’m really not doing well I’m going through a lot right now that is really hard to even keep going. Sometimes I have a hard time getting people to talk to me not sure why, I’m not sure if it’s me our people are just not interested in what I have to say.