Lasweetbaby34 Member Profile

...See more Hello everyone, I’m recently new to this website trying to figure out how it works, since I got here I haven’t had any luck on finding a good listener that is actually there to listen to me. I have tried to go inside the groups and I’m having a hard time saying anything in there because I just feel that everyone who is in there is already a friend of one another and I just leave. I’m 40 yrs old a mother of 4 I have 2 boys and 2 girls all of them are teenagers already. So they are hardly there for me, I kind of figure that they only want mom when they need something for them, but not there for her emotionally like I want. People close to me say why do you feel lonely if you have family that care for you and your kids, but is family really there for you when you need emotional support? I don’t think so. I’m also with my partner, and we been together for 14 years never married. But my life at this point is terrible I feel so lonely I suffer from major depression, anxiety, diabetes and other medical conditions that are affecting me tremendously. It’s really hard for me to even get out of bed everyday to do something during the day. I kind of feel like I’m tired all the time I always have a hard time going to sleep at night because I suffer from insomnia and it’s driving me crazy. I do happen to have medication that my psychiatrist prescribe to me to help me sleep, but I feel like something else is going on with me. I do take all my medications that my regular doctor gives me as well as my counselors I’m talking to but I still feel so horrible not sure why. At night time when I want to go to sleep my right arm always hurts and when I finally want to go to sleep i wake up like I can’t breath at all. I don’t know if anyone else in here is experiencing this if you are I will appreciate if you can give me some advice in what to do in this situation it’s really annoying. Plus having major depression is even more complicated I have days where i don’t even want to be here, and say what is the point of being here if you feel worst than ever. Sure you have kids and family but everyone is doing their things. I don’t even have any friends that could be there for me in case I need advice or just for them to hear me out. I had a best friend but she passed away last year on may 31 do to an overdose that has me so down because I really miss her and I don’t know what to do :( Also my partner that I live with hardly pays attention to me all he does is drink daily and seeing him this way is making my depression even worse. Many of you might say well why are you putting up with him why don’t you leave him? Trust me it’s hard just leaving a relationship you had for 14 years. But then again him drinking is ruining my whole life, he never does anything with me I’m still young and I want to go out have some fun go dancing etc. but I feel because of he’s drinking our whole family is going down, i have tried to help him many times and he just doesn’t listen. I’m really to the point that I think I’m just going crazy already :( I feel like I have lost myself and lost my desire in life, my desire to do things that i just to enjoy before. I also worry to much day and night I can’t control it if it’s not one thing is another. I have nightmares at night time and sometimes have dreams where I’m completely alone and like nobody wants to be with me. This is the reason i found this site and I’m doing my best to see if i can find a listener that could be available I know that a lot of us have busy schedules but we can always make a little time to listen to others that is a choice I cannot force anyone either. I Been getting many listeners sure lots of them all of them are males which I don’t have a problem with but as a preference will want a women listener but haven’t had any luck yet. When I do get a listener either i just talk to them for a minute and after a while I never hear from them again. Or if I do they just want something else more than a friendship which I think is not right I don’t know if we have administrators for this page and let them know what us women are going through which is scary because we come here for support and for some listeners to be doing this is totally unacceptable. I’m sorry this post is so long but I just have the need to vent since nobody is hearing me out. Can someone please give me some advice if you have any I feel like I’m about to crack this is just to much for me and everyday is more intense for me.

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