Hi I’m new here
Hello everyone, I’m 40 years mother of 4 teenagers i have 2 boys and 2 boys, I’m originally from california but I now reside in Illinois.. I’m a home stay mom, I suffer from major depression, anxiety, and diabetes. I just recently found this site and i wanted to check it out to maybe find new friends or people to talk to. Even though I have a family of my own everyone is doing their own thing and they hardly pay attention to what I feel. I do have a partner but it’s like i don’t even have one because he doesn’t care about me and is always on he’s drinking so maybe that could be my issue that is causing my depression. Living with someone that drinks daily is really hard and stressful. Not sure if someone in here is going through the same thing as I’m now and I really hope i find people to talk to because since i been in here I’m having a hard time finding listeners they are hardly there for you, and mostly i get are males which is fine, but i rather have a female since they intend to understand more than males do. I hope that I’m able to meet some of you and if anyone reads my post don’t hesitate to message me I’m always here to listens to others, even though I’m feeling terrible.
@amiableblackberry92,
yeah I Know everyone is different when it comes to feeling better. But in my case the reason I’m not feeling better could be that I sometime forget to take my medication so theirs a obstacle, another thing is the legal issues I’m having to right now :( see it could be a possibility that I could face jail time for 6 months that is also killing me and making me worry so much. See the doctor doesn’t know this because I been cancelling my appointments with the doctor to because of my depression. I’m having a hard time sleeping every night, not sure if it’s depression, anxiety, high blood Pressure, or my diabetes that are keeping me awake. I have so much going on in my life right now that I feel like my head is about to explode. How can someone is able manage so much in their life? I’m going to sleep so late at night like around 3-4 in the night and waking up like around 2 in the afternoon and I still wake up tired. See i didn’t know that writing letters to your husband could even work like you are doing it. But it’s worth a shot I could write a letter to mine to telling him how I’m feeling but I don’t think it will work. He’s so into he’s drinking that it’s consuming he’s whole brain and is making him act like a jerk to me so it’s hard. I have an appointment with my counselor this Friday but only for a half an hour can you believe that? That time is not going to let me talk at all. I’m going to explain to her what is going on and how we can set up goals to help me get better, because I want to get better but just don’t know how and how long is going to take me.. I’m glad that you are taking steps and doing better for yourself I wish that could be me. But how can you feel any better with depression, anxiety, high blood pressure, diabetes, facing jail time in a month or so agh I want to scream so bad. I really do appreciate you commenting with me back in forth on this thread because I know we can’t private message each other.
@Lasweetbaby34
Yes you do have alot on your plate to deal with. A half hours not enough. Therapy once a week isn't enough for me that's what brought me to 7 cups I just needed more support.
I was thinking that your hubs drinking might be his way of coping with your being in jail for a period of time and he will have to take care of the home front on his own.
Keep asking for more from your professional team of ppl, Drs, therapist, psychiatrist. Sometimes we have to ask more than once for what we need. Communication is so hard for me so I tend to suffer in silence but I'm trying to be better at this.
I still have alot of hurdles to get through. I had a funeral tonight for a close friend and it was really hard.
I'm headed to the room I designated for my quiet place to read, write and watch Netflix. I'll light a candle snuggle on my sofa with comfy pillows and just be silent for awhile. Hang up the don't disturb sign .
It's a good spot.
Best always 💜 ABB
@amiableblackberry92,
I’m sorry that I’m just responding back to you, I haven’t been feeling well at all with all my health problems that I’m having as well as the difficulties in my own home it’s making me low on energy. Well it’s sour of some that he’s drinking could do to him doing everything when I have to serve time, but not really. He’s drinking has been going on for years now so he’s already an alcoholic to me that doesn’t know how to stop. He doesn’t care about he’s family or anything that is going around him. Because if he would of cared he will understand that drinking is not only affecting him it’s affecting the entire family in general. And take me for example he’s drinking is already causing me a lot of distress and low of energy. What else is next? As I’m sitting in my kitchen table now I’m warn out I had to do so much today. I had to go do the shopping for our new puppy that is going to be arriving next month, so that at least puts a little smile to my face :) I had to do shopping for my girls and the household. See it’s always me me never him so it’s like I’m living in the household alone.
I don’t understand how can a drunk person have 2 different personalities because that is what my partner has when he is drunk he intends to say hurtful things to me and he puts me down all the time. The next day he is sober he acts like nothing has ever happen and wants to continue with me like normal. But I don’t happen to work that way the way my emotional situation is right now I’m not doing well I’m not functioning so well. Everything is hard for me even to do my own chores around the house activities that I loved before, and I told this to my Dr, Counselor, and psychiatrist. But none of them give me an answer of what might be going on. Tomorrow I have a psychiatrist appointment and I’m going to let her know that my sleeping medication is not working not sure why it could be all my health that is affecting me all together. Yeah tell me about it before I was having an hour sessions with my counselor and now they just lower it down to a half an hour. Which i was like what it’s not enough for me I need to talk feel better but it’s maybe because my counselor is really booked and well it’s hard to.
I have a session with her this Friday to but it’s not going to be enough, that is why I’m in 7cups to almost everyday because reading peoples postings, and me replying to them some what help me a little. And I see some of them relate to what I’m going through as well, so I love it here. I recently joined back in January 2020, but didn’t really payed attention to it, so I left. And came back in 2021 but not sure how it works still I’m kind of exploring. Trust me I’m the type of person that i love to write to and even typing is great for me :) and I love journaling to. See me and you are kind of different in the part of communicating. Because I communicate more by talking to people, texting them or even in person. I don’t mind writing letters to people but I do that when they are only far away from me, but not when someone is near me. I get that everyone is different in that communication part, and believe me right now I don’t even want to go to sleep because I already know Im going to have a hard time going to sleep it’s driving me crazy.
@Lasweetbaby34
I'm so glad 7 cups is helpful to you. It is for me too. It helps to know you are not alone in all this. I have days when I feel numb with my aloneness . 7 cups ppl are wonderful caring ppl.
Yesterday was really tough , a funeral for my daughter in laws Dad. It was at the same chapel my Dads was at a few years ago. It hit me like a train emotionally. Ugh. I guess I'm still in alot of trauma.
Anyway I think you are becoming aware of the circumstances if your situation and how it's affecting you negatively. I started to become aware and that's when things changed . I got a little pocket size journal and started listing all the stuff I wanted to change in my life and as they started to come true I put a check next to them in the journal. I realized I am the only one who can change my life and with reaching out to help from others I did alot.
You can't change the ppl around you but you can change how you react to them. Or not react. Your hubs situation is really a tough one. He is the only one who can change it. He has to realize and commit to finding help. I'm sorry about that situation. I'm not a big help with this but my hubs dad was an alcoholic so he is determined not to be one so he doesn't drink. He's far from perfect, he likes gambling.
I hope you have a lawyer that is helping you with the legal stuff related to your serving potential time ...I don't know alot about this but isn't the court supposed to appoint someone ? If not ask .
I'm glad your going to your appts for help. This is crucial for your self help plan. If possible start walking just 10 minutes outside every day ..this little bit of fresh air and excercise can change the endorphins in your brain and boost your mood. Your life's important and you deserve to feel good.
I'm excited your getting a new puppy...omg this is going to be great to boost you and your family members happiness. Dogs love you no matter what's going on. Both my kids have one and I watch them when they are busy/ not home. They are so lovable. One is all about treats I can get her to do anything for a dog cookie. The other one is all about toys and playing catch. Once you figure out what they love you can gain trust and obedience. I love them. Have you picked a name yet? And what kind of dog -if you don't mind sharing. If not I understand, no worries.
Best always 💜 ABB
@amiableblackberry92,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter’ in law dad’s that sounds like it does make you emotional especially being in the same location that you visited before. Sending you a big hug I’m here for you.. in regards to my legal case with the court yes they pointed me out and gave me a public defensor which I have no idea who he is because I have never meet him before. The only person I been talking to through out my whole case is an investigator that is it. He is the only communicating everything to the public defender. I was not able to afford one myself so I had to get one through the state. These people don’t even help all they are doing is making look bad in front of the judge because supposedly I’m not calling them, and i’m all the time. The type of dog we are getting is a chi-poo and he’s name is Sparky one of my girls picked he’s name. We already went shopping for he’s items so we are prepared for him to come home already.. how about you what type of dog does your family have and what are their names? Yeah I guess I have to manage my days to actually do that walking. Because today I went to see the psychiatrist I was in a rush when I got there and also feeling horrible I couldn’t hear what she was saying to me, and what is worse I went without eating :( I told her I was not taking my medication because I don’t know what could be going on with me, and she said how are you going to feel better if you are not taking it.
@Lasweetbaby34
I'm ok for today, I was thinking about the psychiatrist suggesting your taking the meds. Try it for 2 weeks straight see if it really does help. Make yourself a nice lunch and then go for a walk in a pretty place you love.
So excited about your new sparky!! This is going to lift your spirits so much. You can take him on short walks too.
I can't afford a lawyer they are outrageous expensive. I need one to protect me from my psychotic brother but that's a whole other problem.
Just know that you are not alone in your suffering. We are all suffering on some level and ppl here do care because they understand the pain and the darkness. Keep writing here and reaching out. It does help. You can tell me as much or as little as you like. I never judge ppl because I know what it feels like to be judged and used, abused and gossiped about. It's an awful way to live.
I don't trust easily I've been burned by all types including medical ppl.
So my son's dog is a yellow lab and my daughter has a Staffordshire mix, he looks like a pit bull but has the heart of sweetness and love .. he was a rescue so has some trauma. I can see it in ppl and animals, trauma I recognize easily. Him and I really understand each other.
I hope your holding on and pls message me anytime. Best always 💜 ABB
@amiableblackberry92,
I really appreciate you been here for me and giving me some advice even though you might not be to good on communicating you are really doing a wonderful job with me. You been giving me some tips on what has worked for you and I thank you for that. Even though I know it’s going to take some time since I’m under a lot of stress, overwhelming, depression you know it Gosh I just have a lot going on. Yes! I think this puppy is going to bring so much joy to our household I think it’s going to full the emptiness that our other 2 dogs shih tzu that we previously had. We are so sad that our family has them and they don’t want to give them back to us even if we pay them the money that they have wasted on them. They took both my puppies without me knowing and now they are trying to keep them I’m so mad. But I know my sparky is going to bring so much love to me, even though it’s going to be my daughters puppy I will consider him mine to. Tomorrow I have the counselor appointment and only half and hour agh not enough that is why I’m here because writing to people communicating in this site gives me some type of happiness. I love to read other peoples postings and give them some advice so yeah I must say 7 cups is great to have. Thanks again for the wonderful support you have been till now you are the only one that has been messaging me back and forth nobody else seems to do this. It sounds to me like you have a big heart <3 to help other people even though you might be having some difficulties still, hope you are having a wonderful day take care <3
@Lasweetbaby34
Your so welcome, I'm happy to support you. I'm just the kinda person that wants ppl to know they aren't alone in all this.
I think your going to see a great change in all your family members when the dog arrives. Sparky is a great name too.
I'm glad your reading other ppls posts on 7 cups. It does help to see there's plenty of ppl out here with alot of stuff to deal with. Trying to help is great too it does make you feel better. I see that your load is heavy and things tend to all go down at the same time in life.
I did go out to dinner with my one good friend tonight and it was nice ....it's part of my self care plan to go out with her at least a couple times a month for dinner...even if I can't really afford it.
I hope you started a self care list for yourself. I'm around here alot so message me I will respond as soon as I can. 💜ABB
@Lasweetbaby34
I thought you'd like this link...I hope it helps, it helps me see my depression differently...💜
https://We’ve Got Depression All Wrong. It’s Trying to Save Us. | Psychology Today
@Lasweetbaby34
I thought I'd just say hi, thinking about you. I'm trying to enjoy good weather here. Reading a good book. I took my Hub out for lunch yesterday and it was fun. We never go out to eat, it's expensive but I needed a splurge. I hope your doing ok. 💜ABB
Hello how are you I use to stay in Illinois Chicago but now I’m in CT I completely understand you I’m here if you ever want to talk
@amiableblackberry92
I’m sorry I haven’t replied back, I haven’t been feeling well plus yesterday I had a family party it was really fun. I enjoyed being with all my family and we dance and had a good time. Also my partner went with me but as you can see he was so drunk 🥴 like always so I had to drive home. Today i’m Just at home relaxing since my feet hurt so much of dancing all night. Being at the party made me forget about all the problems that I actually have. But then I come home and it’s all coming back, it’s like my house is curse our something. But that’s awesome that you took your husband’s out to eat. Sometimes we just need that to enjoy some quality time together. Thank you so much for not forgetting about me and always having me on your mind. You are always on my mind to, thank you again for giving me that support that I need and I hope that you keep continue writing to me it makes me feel happy 😃 thanks also for the website you sent me I will check it out. Hope your doing well to take care and much love ❤️
@Lasweetbaby34
I'm so glad you got out of the house and had some fun!!🌈 You deserve to relax! I'm thrilled to see your making more friends here too. That's what's great about 7 cups there's always someone to chat with who understands all the stuff we gotta get through in this life. We need real support that comes from real ppl with the experience to understand. You are not alone and gathering more company 👍☺️yay!!
I don't forget ppl or their pain it's why I'm here for you. ☺️
ABB💜
@amiableblackberry92
Thank you so much 😊 and yes this site has been wonderful I’m kind of getting the hang of it already.. and yes I hope I continue to meet more people and for me to also give them the support that they need. Right now I’m doing great but I still have my ups and downs and I know this is not over yet. I hope your having a great weekend much love to you ❤️
Hey @amiableblackberry92,
just wanted to check on you, and see how you were doing today? I don’t know, but I wanted to post for so long and for some reason it didn’t let me it was so frustrating. And now I’m trying again and hopefully it does let me. For me im not really doing well I have so much anxiety and worries right now. You know that my court is in 2 days and I don’t even know what is going to happen. Im just so concern. And now I just think why did I get myself into this mess ☹️ I hope I hear from you take care..
@Lasweetbaby34
I'm so glad to hear from you.
Wow that was quick, the court date. I'm sure that's extremely stressful for you. I will 🙏 pray for the court to go easy on you. Make sure they know that your taking steps to improve and going to therapy etc. Your more aware now and are changing. Awareness changes you. I think it's been really good for me, this awareness stuff. My therapist is trying a new tapping technique to eliminate my trauma fallout. We just started so we will see, I think it's going to work. Hoping .🤞
I'm here if you need an ear or virtual 🤗 hug.
Did you get the new puppy? Pets are so lovable and can make such a difference in our day to day life.
Remember to breath during the court appt. Breathing helps so much and we don't realize it. It's got such a good oxygen pump to the brain. I have a sign on a wall to remind me to breathe lol. A former good coworker gave it to me.
I'm struggling with finances but I just keep praying for better days to come my way. Trying hard to not spend on extras. Trimming that grocery list lol.
Best ABB 💜
@amiableblackberry92,
well it is stressful to be honest, right now I’m having a major breakdown because I’m thinking about it. Honestly the county I currently live in they don’t care about my health, or my techniques I’m doing with my therapist. They say nothing could help my case, so right now I’m just giving in you know. Theirs nothing that could save me now. The only concern is my family they are my world, and not sure what is going to happen if they are left alone. See I have no one to help me. So I’m just alone on this, right now I’m trying to distract myself with anything I could think of but it’s still hard.
I have 2 courts so imagine how I’m right now. Thank you so much for the prayers, I should need them right now ☹️ I’m miserable and anxious 😕 so honestly I’m going to have to talk to my therapist this week of ways to help me. But at this time not even the therapist are helping me. So I’m just stuck alone you know in my own worries. I’m sorry what you are going through to, but isn’t your husband helping you with these financial issues you are having? Oh yes we did bring our new puppy home this week, he’s so cute and smart.
but as far as for me not even the puppy is making me happy he just whines so much that is making me be stress a lot more. I know he is just a baby, but I was already so just to not having a puppy home that it’s just hard. He’s name is sparky 😄he’s a chi-poo he’s so fluffy and chunky you should see him he’s so adorable. My girls love him since they don’t have their other 2 puppies we had before. We just to have shih-tuz and honestly I love them better but that breed was also stubborn but I just miss my other puppies. But I know they are in good hands with my family now.
@Lasweetbaby34
I'm sure your shaking head to toe about this upcoming potentially life changing event. I had a couple really big events that changed my life forever but I will tell you that during that sunami of a sh** storm I didn't think I was going to make it. And I was in horrible emotional and physical pain. Barely functioning. But after I started therapy one minute at a time my life started to change. I had to claw my way out of that storm.and it wasn't easy. I slipped backwards many times, still do but rotten things happen so that great things can happen. Maybe this situation your in is teaching you and telling you about yourself. Your real self and the things you can do to help others ,Of course after you come out of the storm on the other side.
I think painful events help bring light into the dark for us. I know this is difficult to the extreme but your strong , you can do it. Your kids will be ok. Tell the older kids to help check in on the young girls if they can. I'm right here holding your hand . It's going to be ok I just know it. Let's keep praying to God to give mercy to you on this court date. I know this is a sign for you to help others. If you end up inside help whom you can until you can get back home. Be gentle with yourself, your only human, guess what?😉 every single one of us makes mistakes, what counts is learning and making better choices in the future. I wish I was near to you so I could just be there to listen and hold your hand.
But I'm right here on 7 cups just message on this thread it will find me and I promise to respond ... Best 💜 ABB
@Lasweetbaby34
If I don't respond to you immediately I'm sleeping but as soon as I get up I will respond to you. Just wanted you to know I haven't gone anywhere. I just want you to know that your not really alone . It feels like it but there's many who care about you here.
ABB 💜
@ambitiousdrum84
Hello it’s really nice to meet you and thanks for your reply to my post. Nice I’m glad to know that you just to live in Chicago Illinois to. I hope that we are able to chat when you have the time, feel free to reply back if you will like take care.
I’m available now if you like
@ambitiousDrum84
So may I ask what brings you to 7 cups? Are you new to the website or you been here before already. I was here on January 2020, but left because I didn’t really knew how this site worked our how to handle it. So I just came back last month on August 2021 to see if I can get the hang out it and make new friends if I can, hang with me I really don’t know how to privately message you so it might have to be on my posts. If you saw my posting I’m really not doing well I’m going through a lot right now that is really hard to even keep going. Sometimes I have a hard time getting people to talk to me not sure why, I’m not sure if it’s me our people are just not interested in what I have to say.
do you want to chat
yes I just wrote you a comment, sorry I don’t know how to send a message, so it has to be through the comments.
Sorry you feel this way and may I say I’m here to chat you can be open about anything I don’t judge I’m just here to help and get help that’s all.
Wish we could chat privately so no one sees what you write I’m sorry
@ambitiousDrum84
i’m here for the some reasons I want to give support and for others to support me to. We might not be open up to talk about our situation but I must tell you I’m here for you to. If you want to talk about what is bugging you let me know I want to give you the support you need don’t be a Shame we are here for one another to help us feel a little better.
Thanks same here it’s a bit embarrassing talking about it here but let’s just say base on my situation I’ve lost almost everything I feel lost without hope so I understand you I’m here for you as well
Same lol sorry I’m just learning how to do this but I did reply
