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In the midst of an argument, it can be helpful to take a breath and think calmly about the situation. The most helpful method to looking at the situation from a non-bias perspective is to place yourself in your little sister's shoes, and think about what emotions she may be experiencing. Children have wild and unpredictable emotions, and are usually sensitive to changes around them.
Take a moment and ask yourself why you hate your little sister, and write a list. Once you finish that list, go over and justify those reasons.
Anonymous
June 22nd, 2018 5:24pm
There is no magical solution to this. Instead, your best option would ikely be seeing a therapist and exploring what is leading you to hate your little sister.
Younger siblings can really cramp our style! ;) They can be annoying but I would like to try a little game. Can you name some of the most annoying things she does? The catch is, for every thing you name that you hate you have to name on e thing that you love about her. Ready? Go!
Just start by respecting and listening to her. You don't necessarily need to like her at first - give it time. Respect is the foundation to everything. Understand that she is your sister, part of your family and deserves your respect. Try to put yourself in her shoes. Try making an effort to be kind and calm. Spend time with her - play board games, or do braid her hair or take her out for ice-cream. Ask her questions, treat her like an adult. You'll find your hatred slowly disappearing.
Little sisters will ALWAYS be little sisters! I should know. I am one of them. With the age gap, your interests differ. Try to find common ground and do something you like together. It will help build the bond back up.
Anonymous
July 13th, 2018 12:08pm
Try to see positive things in her. Try to support her and may be that result in love. With the help of your parents try to spend time with each other and understand her. The family bonding creates compassion.
Maybe you can talk to her and get to know her more and hang out with her to understand what she likes and to know more about her
Well, many ways you can try not to hating your sister. Try and see if she adores you in things you do as a big sister. Communicate with her and share how you feel also. Maybe include her on some things you do.
I was and still am the "little sister," and the way my big sister treated me my entire life (all the way up to this very day) has affected and altered my personality. One way to stop hating your little sister is to understand that she may feel some of the same ways that her older siblings do, and she will have her own struggles to face in life. As a flesh and blood human, she has feelings and experiences to work through. Even when it appears as if she has it easier than you, it is important to remember that it may not always be that way, and it may not even be that way right now. Everyone is multi-dimensional, and it could benefit both of you to see each other in a way that emphasizes your similarities and commonalities instead of your differences.
Your siblings may annoy you but it's not about hating them. You should think about loving them, As they are the ones who care about you. Little sisters are always fun, they take care of you and often annoy you but still you can love them. Think about them in a positive way and behave in the best way as you can.
You can also make them feel that you care about them and will always fell good about them. There will be a good change in her behaviour too. And try spending as much time as you can so that you understand them really well
Anonymous
February 8th, 2019 6:10am
Understand that she is an individual who has separate needs to yours. She may act out but very often there are insecurities in both of you that neither may not be able to understand Family shouldn't be about power struggles but rather how one can support each other . It is often hard when two different personalities live under the same roof but building relationships are all about compromise, a give and take relationship. communicating honestly whilst respecting each other is crucial to a close relationship. you may not like her behavior but no matter what she is family and will always be here to stay
Anonymous
May 24th, 2019 11:17am
I guess when you start hanging out with her more and start forming a bond you will slowly start realizing how much she means to you :) I mean we all have hated our younger siblings as they tell on us or start fights for no reason. It's mainly cause they are young and are dependent and do not know the difference between good and bad and as kids we went through it and matured out of it. You start realizing that they are kids and that they will grow out of it and become more mature as they grow.
I used to fight a lot with my younger brother for many years when we were younger. Just when I had to go to a mental hospital for about six months we finally realized how much we actually love and miss each other. Since then we haven not fought just a single time. There is a saying that says that only the caged person sees the value of freedom. This is one of my favorite ones because it says that you see the value of things once they are gone and it can be transferred to many thing and it is the same with people. We just realize what they gave us once they are gone. I wish that only the imagination of this will help you to realize how much you love her before it is too late. You might even get to miss the things you found so annoying about her before.
Anyone who has a younger sibling knows how annoying they can get, but I know that I love my siblings. Although I always fight with them and rant about how annoying they are to my friends I still love them. Although they steal my parents' attention and steal/ruin my things, I always will love them. They are family sharing my DNA, living with me in my house and world. They are people that are different but special.
I can't really describe it, but I still feel protective of them. I think it's because I know that they are also human beings that deserve better than my hate. It's because although they hurt me (mostly emotional), it's because they have been hurt too. It's because they deserve an older sister (or brother) that can help support them. It's because it's not their fault that their beliefs are different from mine. It's because when no one is on their side, at least I should be on their side.
When I find it hard to not hate my siblings, I wait until I've calmed down and reminded myself that I shouldn't hate them because I know how it feels to be hated and it sucks.
I am assuming you are a teenager or young person? I would say it is completely normal to get fed up with, or even really dislike your family member. I have a little brother, so i totally get you. If she is doing something to cause conflict or annoy you, I would try to resolve that if she is old enough. if she is little, she may just be aggravating you to try to get attention. I would honestly just ignore her or walk away from her whenever she does that. That is what i do, or am trying to do.
The first step you should take is trying to understand why people behave the way they do. Sometimes it is very apparent but other times you will have to do some digging. Then you need to empathize with them, and show patience as well as love and care towards them. You should make it very apparent that you are trying to help them solve whatever problem she is going through, and you will help however you can.
However, sometimes you may be the problem here. You need to reflect upon yourself first and try to understand whether your behavior is normal, and if not, the steps you can take to resolve the problem.
Anonymous
January 10th, 2020 11:03pm
Unfortunately, this is not that easy. What you need to ask yourself is "why?". Why do you hate your sister? That is the first and biggest question that should be answered. I know it can be very frustrating and draining to dislike (or as you said, hate) someone. You probably feel that there may not be a specific answer to that question. However, there is. Think back and determined when it started. What happened? Can it be reconciled now? Is it something you can control? I hope this helps and good luck!
hate is a strong emotion that rips apart relationships formed ages ago. I do not think anyone truelly hates their siblings. however, siblings do fight and emotions run high during anger. calm yourself down after fights and realize neither of you were in the wrong, sometimes fights do occur, that does not mean the love is gone. to be able to have such a unique and eternal bond with another person is rewarding in it's own way. to feel emotions so deeply for a person you have known since their birth is a rarity, and the love that is there never truelly leaves
Anonymous
February 2nd, 2020 5:54pm
Younger siblings can be difficult to get along with, but I think remembering that they are younger is a good way to help you understand them better. Most siblings aren't trying to annoy you, but more likely they want to be with you. Maybe try finding some common ground with your little sister. Find something you both like to do, an activity that could help you bond with her. You could also talk to your parents regarding your feelings, is there some underlining reason you feel this way? Maybe you feel like she's taking all the attention or getting special treatment. These are feelings you might want to share with your parents. Remember that they're young and haven't learned all the wisdom you have.
Start looking at the brighter side of her. I used to hate my little brother too. The hatred made me overlook his positive and loving side. When I saw him terribly sick one day, that's when his good side started flashing in front of me. He's not bad, Unfortunately, my hatred towards him has blindfolded me from seeing his true nature. that's when I realized my mistake. I started looking at those little good things he did for me and everyone around us. Now, we love each other unconditionally. So, I think the key is to keep the hatred aside and start looking at her bright side :)
Reflect on why you might be feeling this way towards your sister. Have an honest conversation with yourself and try to trace back when issues began and why they began. You should not expect to see a change in emotions toward your sister overnight and you can not force yourself to fell a certain way, just like how you can pretend to not be in pain or not be happy. The process will take time and collaboration form both parties. This could be indirect or direct depending on how comfortable you are talking to your sister. You might even set up a chart with the pros and cons of your relationship and analyze them.
It's hard to answer that one as no information is given on the "hater" and the "hatee". One cannot answer this without some knowledge of the circumstances.
Some family relationships can become difficult depending on the personalities, the age group, cultural background and events which may have caused this problem.
That is to say that the question cannot be answered "as is". I would need particulars in order to reflect on the issue and have a 'whole" picture. It's a prerequisite, I'd say.
I wonder why such a dry question was drafted and published when answering requires more knowledge of the situation. Is this a joke or a test?
Anonymous
April 15th, 2020 1:38pm
This is a rather intriguing question since 80% of people will have at least 1 sibling - therefore it's supposed that a lot of people will be feeling the exact same way as you. It's no secret that sometimes younger siblings can be irritating and/or annoying whether it be because they don't understand or are unable to empathise with your emotions. However, it is important to recognise that hating someone does not actually do anything to change them or their actions, it simply makes you feel worse. Trying to understand why your sibling does what they do could give you a better insight into why you act differently. Try to remember that she probably doesn't intend to harm you.
Anonymous
April 22nd, 2020 4:14pm
You should start by thinking about the bad things about her. Think of all the annoying things she has ever done to you in your entire life. Then, control your emotions and consider why you actually find it so annoying, sometimes you might find that you're just annoyed cause she's your sister! After that, just forget all the bad things and think only of the good things about her, for example she's actually really funny sometimes, or she's honestly amazing at singing etc. ! Then try to appreciate that side of her, because you would also want her to appreciate your talents too right? :))
First, it's good that you're acknowledging how you feel-- shame and denial are unproductive, and admitting this is the first step. Next, try to figure out what, if anything makes you hate her more or if there are any specific things she or anyone else says or does that trigger this feeling. If it only comes up sometimes, as an impulsive anger, try to know when that happens, and depending on how old your sister is, tell her what bothers you. Work on taking deep breaths and grounding yourself. You can talk to your parents about your frustration and how you want to connect with your sister better.
One thing that I was taught by my mother is to - whenever someone irritates me - remember that: had I been born with this persons set of genes, and then been raised the exact same way this person has been raised, and then lived through the exact same experiences this person's lived through - well, then I would be exactly like this person. I would literally be them. This thought helps me a lot, whenever I struggle to understand someone else. It helps me to try and look at them with empathy and patience. It also helps me to remember to see my own faults and why I want to be patient with myself, and my own faults, too.
Sometimes younger siblings can be irritating and annoying, and there may even be instances where you feel left out or unappreciated because she gets all the attention. Maybe it’s possible to try and figure out why you hate her,
work through those feelings and possibly even speak to your parents, or contact one of the Listeners at 7 cups,
Who can assist you in understanding why you feel the way you feel. We cannot tell you why you hate her but together we may be able to figure it out, if you do it feel comfortable enough to discuss this with your parents or some other person .
If a Listener cannot help you help yourself they can always ask a Therapist to help you to Work through your feelings and understand the underlying reasons for your hate.
It sounds like you are annoyed with her, possibly it would help to think about what she does to annoy you and prompt this feeling of anger. Have you thought about why she acts that way? I suggest you have a look at the mindfulness exercises and focus particularly 'breath' and 'relaxation'. Doing these may help you to find a sense of calm so that you can have a conversation with her. Talking is truly the best medicine, so feel free to message a listener here or even talk to your sister directly and calmly to come to an understanding of why you think that way.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2020 2:09am
You probably see parts of yourself in your little sister. If there are certain things that make you mad, think about whether those were things you used to do at her age. If you just hate her general presence, you guys might be more similar than you think. If there are things she does that you just don't agree with, talk to her about it. I don't know how old she is but if she's old enough to talk she's old enough to listen. Depending on her age, sit her down and just have a conversation with her. Try not to be too intimidating.
This is definitely a tricky subject! I understand you “hate†your sister, start by asking yourself about those emotions and feelings. Starter words such as why and “what made me feel this way†are the first step. Then, ask yourself do I really hate her or is this a “I hate my sister but I actually love her in the long run†because it is completely normal to not like your siblings all the time. And finally, talk to her, if she can talk back you guys can work through your feelings and cultivate a bond and mutual respect towards one and other.
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