Why do I keep going back to my toxic relationship?

Often, we have deep rooted ties to toxic relationships. It can include reasons such as, not believing you are worthy of genuine and healthy love, feeling comfortable in relationships that are inconsistent due to childhood environment, and abandonment issues, among other things. Do any of these feel true for you? If so, look up suggestions for related therapy (not self-help) books. For example, “Attached” by Dr. Levine is a great resource for understanding attachment theory and why you might keep choosing partners who don’t make you happy in the long run. Or if it have something to do with boundaries, perhaps looking at www.Boundaries.me by Dr. Henry Cloud may help. There is an over abundance of resources, knowledge, and tools at our fingertips. It might seem impossible now, but with some diligent digging in, you can make significant life changes - especially when it comes to unhealthy relationships. You are doing an incredible job just by asking this question and I hope you’re able to find the answers you need

Depending on the person, mostly the relationship is manipulating meaning it is extremely hard to get out of. The person or partner usually is also charming or is dangerous and abusive. Both ways can be harming and lead you back to the toxic relationship. Usually the person is heavily attached to the person which means it can be heart braking and hard to leave the person even if they or the relationship is toxic. Even if you might feel alone, this is very common and many people struggle with it. Remember if you are having struggles, you can always come to 7 cups for help. You can also start the guide program which helps you chat with other people who a having the same issues. It can be very helpful.

I feel you on that one. I had been doing that for quite some time. If I take my experience, the reason that I kept going back is that I didn’t think I had a choice. I didn’t think I have the power or the authority to say no. I also didn’t think anybody else would want me, ever, so in order to feel wanted, I need him. All that was pretty much the fear talking. Plus, I had this belief stuck in my head, ‘this time it will be different.’ We can have such a great time, maybe it will stay like that. Obviously, it didn’t. What helped me a lot is opening up a little bit and realizing that the world does not end with this person. I tried to shift my focus from my inner insecurities to look at the world around me with curiosity. It was hard and didn’t come naturally for me. Many aspects of my progress are still ongoing…but it’s going. :) Inner reflection is necessary, but in my case, I got too self-conscious and I mostly got fixated on the negative things about me and my situation. Let me tell you.. not the best way to go. Of course, I do not know what kind of toxic relationship are we talking about. If it has dangers to physical or mental health or you are concerned that it might, do not be afraid to seek professional help.

For me it was because I felt that I was trapped, or felt that without them I was nothing. I felt they needed me and that I could fix them and their outbursts were just a result of their mental health. While a lot was from their mental health it still wasn't okay. But I tolerated it for a long time until I gained self respect and left it after a year and a half. Anyone that feels they keep going back to their toxic or abusive relationship, don't. It's a cycle, the good times shouldn't make up for how they treat you or how you treat each other negatively. It isn't worth it. There are other opportunities. You deserve more than you think :).

You probably keep going back to your toxic relationship because you believe that everything toxic that happens is love. I have been there so many times before and when I finally end the relationship I think to my self how could I be so dumb and not see the red flags? You might think it’s love but really it’s not. It’s just hurting you mentally and emotionally without you even realizing but it will get better. Just try and listen to your friend when they tell you not to go back to the relationship because they are your friends and they are just trying to help you

From my experience once you love someone like truly love someone it’s hard to see there faults and walk away because when you love someone no matter how much they hurt you, you still want to wrap your arms around them and never let go love is like a drug and it’s hard to just completely stop wanting it but once you start to look for the really bad things in the relationship you will start to realize that the person you love is not as great as you thought because they are the type of person who manipulates others into liking them and the type of person who only really cares about themselves and doesn’t care at all about the others around them and slowly you will be able to fall out of love with them and find someone much better

Every relationship, even really toxic ones, has it's good moments! When you try to let go of something you naturally begin to see all the good moments, and they over shadow the bad! It's important to keep your view realistic and try to move forward to better and healthier things. You are number one and need to care for yourself before anyone else. It can also be because going back to a toxic person is easy. They know you, and you have an established relationship. It's easier than forming an entire new relationship with a brand new person, and therefore can be extremely tempting. Just thoughts from Premmy~

You feel safe. You are comfortable. You focus on the good moments things that it will get back to when you were happy. You are so abused and damage you think no one will ever treat you the same or be able to fix you. And all of that is not true you will get stronger and love deeper! Get a support system to help you stay distracted see how happy you can be without him/her see that you dont need a partner to go on in life. When you love your self loving some else is much easier!

Well it really depends on what you see in your significant other. Most people tend to return to the relationship for the intimacy of it. Maybe your trust in the other person may seem weak but your love for them is strong? It could be a variety of things, love is tricky. Why not write down your thoughts about the other person and ask yourself how they are benefiting you in your life? Are they making you happy? If not, then why go back? Those questions can be answered by yourself. Once you answer those questions, I believe that you'll have your answer.

It's just familiarity thats it.

It depends on a lot of things, but we regularly are attracted to safety, comfort and what is known. So even in the midst of a toxic relationship we know the person, we have good memories of the person, so its comfortable to return to the. Especially if they are our safety network in the midst of a desert with no support. And it could take soo much emotional turmoil to uncouple ourselves from the safety network even though it is toxic so we return to it, hoping it gets better. But then, is it better? Can we take a moment to look 6 months ahead. Do we want to be still in this toxicity or could we see ourselves being kind to who we are, and take steps to get what we want, and what we deserve.

Toxic relationships can be really addicting, which makes you want to keep going back. In my toxic relationship, the lows were low and the highs were really high. I stayed so much longer than I should have because I was so addicted to chasing the high when things were good. I also was way to optimistic that my partner would change or things would go back to the way they were when our relationship was healthy. But you can't expect a partner to change and have to look at what they are in the moment. It can take a lot of self reflection and thought about what you want and deserve before leaving.

We keep going back because sometimes we think that we will not be able to find a better relationship. (Which you will!) You may not realize you deserve SO MUCH BETTER. That is the main problem, is that people in toxic relationships do not realize their own worth. We need to love ourselves in order to know how others should love us. It is hard to escape a toxic relationship when one does not have a good relationship with themselves. If you start by learning to love yourself first, and then you won't have stand for any toxic relationships.

Sometimes returning to a relationship or behavior we know is bad for us but continue to do so is due to habit. It almost becomes a safety net, it's what we know even when it's harmful, unhealthy and toxic. We continue in it to stay in a state of comfort and often the thought of the unknown ahead, if we were to leave, can be terrifying. We return to what we know, caught in a cycle of drama and reconciliation which had no end until we can break the habit. Often our energy is drained from being in these relationships, so we feel weak and do not have the strength to even fathom leaving. Take some time out for yourself to clear your mind, focus on you to gain some clarity-you have strength within you!

You don't know what to do without him/her, and don't realize that you are worth so much more than what that relationship makes you feel like. You are depending on that relationship because you don't know who you are without that person. Take some time to focus on yourself. You think that its comfortable for you, and that person probably tells you things that make you feel so attached to them. Once you end the relationship, you miss all those words they once said to you, but don't realize that it really means nothing more than just random words.

perhaps you feel comfort ib being wiht that person, you know they are wrong for you but, you know them. You have experience with them and they know everything already. To you it seems easier to be with someone who already knows the things that have happened in your life than to open yourself up to someone new and potentially get hurt again. You have reasoned with yourself and came to the common conclusion that it may be bad but at least he/she accepts me back. But you must know, you deserve better! Even if things seem tougher without them, you will eventually look back and realise how much better you are now. How much of a hold over you they had, and maybe then you will finally feel free.

hello some time people do got back to there toxic relationship because we/they are scared and we are stuck in that time and we dont know whnat to do all we want is love someone to care someone to be there to talk to just someone to tell that something to someone or they are just wanting to be that someone trying to change that relationship or try to fix the loose ends of it that would be the best thing i could say why you or other people do go back to there bf or gf with in the toxic reationship have any more question please ask someone for help thank you

Sometimes it’s because I have hope that things would change. I keep forgetting and forgiving all mistakes that the other person makes. I believe that there’s good in that person that I can’t give up on. However, it probably just an excuse to say that I’m too comfortable in that situation and I don’t think anyone can do better anyway. That’s why there is no benefit in exchanging something you have with something you don’t know? Since you already invest so much, is it better to follow it through? At least this is the thing that always run in my mind everyday when I decided to stop.

I did the same thing. It is very hard when you love some one but it is an unfortunate situation some people are not meant to be. It is hard as sometimes it feel as though it will change the next time you re enter the relationship. But trust me it is not going to be good for your mental health in the end. You deserve better and I am here to listen. You will find someone sometime soon that you are going to love just as much if not even more and the relationship will not be toxic. Keep your head high.

Sometimes it can feel difficult to leave a relationship you have been in for so long. That person might feel familiar or like someone you can fall back on. Although you have acknowledged that the relationship is toxic, you need to understand that you deserve better. Learning to love yourself and know what you deserve can help justify yourself in these kind of situations. Here at 7 Cups there are so many people willing to help you work through whatever difficulties you might be having. Just know that you have so many people go back you up. You are loved. You are supported. And you are worth it.

Sometimes it's hard to accept something is over, especially when there was a time where everything was good. I've been in that position, and a lot of times its because despite what they may do to you, you love them. at the end of the day, you should be proud that you identify that the relationship is toxic! thats the first step to moving on. I cant tell you what to do, but be careful not to sacrifice your happiness for theirs. relationships are meant to be built upon love and respect, and you're both supposed to be happy.

Sometimes we only let ourselves have what we think we deserve. We put ourselves in unsafe, toxic situations without even thinking. It's important to know your worth before you let someone else decide for you. It's hard to get out of a toxic relationship. Sometimes we feel comfortable with toxic relationships because we know how it'll end. It puts us at ease. It's easy to go back to someone who has hurt you. It's hard to move on and find someone else. As humans we do what's easy, not what's right. There are options, however, to show you how to get away from it. Therapy, support groups, books, family/friends, and online resources.

In my experience, there are only two reasons why someone truly goes back to a toxic relationship: they are either afraid or in love. One could be afraid of their partner or what they have/will do to physically, emotionally, or spiritually harm them and that may be holding them back. On the opposite side, one may know and be aware that they are in a toxic relationship and not happy anymore but love the person so much that they cannot part them. They cannot in their heart leave the person they have fallen in love with even if it is a different person that they turned into.

A person may keep going back into a toxic relationship because maybe they don't want to lose the sense of familiarity or because they fear of change. Maybe the other person manipulates you into staying in that relationship even though your common sense is telling you not to. Sometimes, the person who is trying to leave over thinks the situation and gets to the conclusion that the don't deserve better, that they are meant to be hurt (either physically or emotionally). Toxic relationships can quickly transform into abusive relationships, it is crucial to notice the red flags right away and seek help.

Beacuse you have created a toxic bound, a vicious cycle this is not healthy and you must stop. Just put your foot down and let the other person know that enough is enough. The toxicity must have arrisen because of a mismatch in between you, or one person is asking something which the other cannot deliver. This gives rise to toxic chase, I think you should give each other space gradually, by stoping to talk to each other and see the benefits, and your sure to get out of it. Best of luck to you ☺️. May you find the strength.

Why do people keep going back to a toxic relationship. Is it because it’s comforting. Is it because you spent so much time and effort in that relationship that the fear of starting over is more scary than actually leaving. We will never know someone’s background as to why they don’t need it we’re just here to support them. Be there for them listen to them help them get through it. Not everyone has the strength to leave right away. Show them the positive show him what a relationship should be. They’re great guys and girls out there who are willing to date you. You just have to have faith in yourself you are worthy and you are worth knowing

I kept going back as I was made to think I was not good enough for anyone else. I was scared to take the risk to move on. I was told that no one wanted to be with me. I was threatened to stay in the relationship. I started to believe that I was not good enough. I just didn't have enough energy to start all over again. Out of 30 days, I only had 3 or 4 good days. I made myself think that this was ok. I was holding on to those good days to think this was all ok. When I wrote down the pros and cons and wrote down how many good days I had compared to bad, It was very clear I had to get out of my comfort zone. I reached out for support and I made the leap. Some days It wasn't easy for me. I worked hard to take care of myself and love myself first. Some days for sure was hard, other days it was easy. I made small goals and reflected back.

I’ve had several toxic relationships that I continued to go back to. I think that they made me feel like they were the only people who would ever be there for me or “care” about me so that’s why I stayed. This might not be true for you, but I think realizing the relationship is toxic is a great first step. You have to decide what you want for you, and what is the best decision for you. Then, focus on the steps it will take to get you to that point. It might be a hard journey, but it will be better in the end.

It's honestly quite understandable why, it's probably because you miss the memories you've had with them. I used to be in a toxic friendship and when I left, I thought I would feel happy but I didnt, it definitely felt like a piece of me was missing and I think that's what makes you wish to be with them. It's because of a part of you isn't letting go and doesnt want you to move on. When you move on from it, it's the best feeling in the world, trust me. You will feel more like yourself :") and start to feel hopefully that you can live your life without them in it.

Toxic relationships are a difficult cycle to break out of, and that is why they are referred to as toxic. When in a toxic relationship it becomes addictive because of its familiarity and when we are invested in it, it's a really hard addiction and cycle to break. The constant drama can also provide you with adrenaline rushes which can also be difficult to break. Toxic relationships are important to get out of and only you will know when enough is enough. I am speaking from experience as I was in one for a while and it nearly destroyed me, but I began to realise I deserved better and it was small steps. Eventually I was waking up and not constantly thinking about it, all day every day.