Why do I keep going back to my toxic relationship?

Sometimes we go back because it is a place that we know, and we find some sort of comfort in situations and people that we know already. Going back to someone you know already (even if it´s not the best for you) can be easier than starting over with someone new, or being by yourself for a while. We can even feel scared to do things differently. But since you have acknowledged that your relationship is not healthy, it is good that you are trying to break the cycle. Allow yourself to meet someone new and find someone that is good for you. The fear will disappear with time and you will remember the strength you used to have before this toxic relationship and find yourself again.

Sometimes it is due to the familiarity because that's the only relationship you know of and the need to feel wanted and have that attention. Sometimes it could be due to the shame and guilt. The feeling like you don't deserve happiness and to be loved by others. Depending on the toxic relationship, the other party can make you feel like you can't live without them and that no one else would accept you but that person. It could also be scary because you are not sure what a normal relationship is like and when you find yourself in one, you become unsure and confused because you are not used to feeling loved and being cared for.

In my personal experience with a toxic relationship I was scared to be alone and that I wouldn't find anyone better or people wouldn't want me. The fear held me back for awhile. You can get through it and make the best decision for yourself and there will be better people out there waiting to support and help you along the way! Just know that you are never alone and sometimes it can be painful and scary to leave someone that you spent so much time with. Just reflect and think if they are treating you for the best version of yourself ❤️

Returning to toxic situations can be a sign of personal unhappiness or instability. Ask yourself if this relationship is benefitting you in any way, or if you return because you feel as if you have to. As someone who returned to an abusive man on and off for four years, I understand the intense feelings that these relationships can present; however, I assessed my feelings. This intense desire to return to him was due to a bond that I made with him through trauma. He convinced me that I would never find someone else to love e as he did, and that I was meant to be with him since we had already endured so much. This is all untrue. If you are admitting that your relationship is toxic, that is a great first step. Set communication boundaries, and have some positive self-talk that you are fine without this relationship, and leave space to grow as a person. Personal growth often shows us that our previous thoughts and relationships were not very healthy.

There can be an array of different reasons for why this may keep happening. A lot of it has to do within yourself and it’s important to ask yourself questions that encourage mental and emotional growth. I’ve experienced the same thing and have found comfort and asking myself questions and being able to get to know what patterns are that lead me to this conclusion. You should ask yourself why you continue to allow this to happen and what are patterns you see within these people. Identifying patterns will make it easier to spot them in the future with it potential partners.

In some relationships, one partner becomes very attached to the other and they feel dependent on the other. The small or big things that the other would do, would become something that they may become so used to, that when it is no longer there, they start to miss it and the other person. You may also feel sort of an obligation to stay with this person. It may be because the amount of time that you have spent with this person. You feel like maybe they may still be the good person you used to know. You may also believe that you don't deserve better than them. But you do deserve better than someone who is toxic.

It can be very scary to be in a relationship, but it can also be an amazing thing to be in a relationship. The thing about a relationship, whether it is unhealthy or unhealthy, is that it can sometimes blind us to how how our partner is treating us and how we should be treated. We might think that how they are treating us is true love, but in reality, they might be treating us like garbage, and we are having trouble seeing that. We might go back to a toxic relationship because we are scared to leave the relationship since it might be the only relationship we have ever ever been in, the only relationship we know, or we are scared the partner might do something if we were to leave the relationship. There can be multiple reasons and is something that you'll need to figure out. I hope the best for you with this.

I can imagine you are wanting to break a cycle of being in relationship that is unhealthy for you. People may go back into toxic relationships simply as they learnt from childhood that controlling, abusive behavior is a way to display you care or how you maintain relationships. The possibility is that you are probably afraid of being lonely. You are used to that person so just for the sake of that known company, you find it easier to forgive their toxic behaviour. You might also be emotionally attached to them and find it difficult to detach thinking you will hurt them. The truth is that your heart is very wounded by that person and you fee an obligation to stick with them. Perhaps they have apologised to you so much that you’ve forgiven them or told you “It will never happen again” but it does. Some people in these relationships stay with the hope their partners behavior will improve or they fear for their life. You are welcome to talk to one of our listeners for 1-1 support. Hope things get better for you.

Toxic relationships can often become non toxic all of a sudden. We see the best in the other person as much as the worse. But we tend to ignore that part because we feel attached to the comfort zone our mind has created within the relationship. You might be dependent on your partner financially, or emotionally. There are hundreds of reasons. You only can decide what is best for you. Toxic often means abusive, and when you decide to constantly return to a relationship that you know perfectly is no longer good for you, you have to ask yourself if it is related to your childhood. Have you fear of abandonment ? Or are you codependent ? Have you suffered from toxic parents, and you find yourself a similar comfort zone in that relationship ? All you can do if you are seeking help, is to heal your inner wounds, that way you won't turn back to unhealthy relationships.

It can be related to childhood traumas or variations of abuse at any age. When pain is all you know, it can be challenging to seek alternative behaviors. There's also the instances in which we are blinded by love. It's easy to get caught up in a relationship, even when it's toxic. Here are some ideas on staying strong—and staying away—when you're tempted to get back together: Acknowledge the loss. You were together for a reason. ... Ride the waves of grief. ... Experience the longing. ... Avoid alcohol and other drugs. ... Forgive yourself. You could try these ways out. please do come back for more queries.

Once you spend a lot of time with someone, your mind gets accustomed to their presence. When all of a sudden you end it, it feels that you are missing out on something in life. It is completely normal and temporary feeling. You know that the relationship was quite toxic but your mind only makes you feel that by going back to your past relationship, things will get better. This is the time when you need to trust on your brain and not go with the mind. You need to remind yourself of the reasons why the relationship was toxic and why you ended it in first place. You can try to indulge in some activities or hobbies that will divert your mind onto something else. With time, you will find the happiness within yourself and won't think of going back again.

I kept going back because I thought he would change, chances after chances were given but nothing ever changed. Same old, same old. He cheated on me more than 4 times. mentally abused me, made me feel absolutely worthless, and like I was not good enough, ever. I gave him everything I could possibly give him, but that was never enough.. but I kept going back time after time after time. Why? I loved him, I felt like he was everything I needed and wanted, I hated the thought of letting go, of losing him.. I was clinging on to hope that he would change, realise the way he was hurting me, hoping that the relationship would go back to being like it first was when we first met and were happy, or at least I thought I was happy... It took me more than a year to finally realise I didn't deserve that toxicity, I realised I was worth it and had to get away from that situation & accept the fact that he would never really change. It was time to focus on myself, on what I truly deserved and it wasn't that pain I needed, nor did I deserve it. It's easier said than done, but if you're getting treated in a way that no person should be getting treated like then you deserve better, You need to leave that toxic relationship. Walk away and find yourself again... as hard as it is to let them go, do it for yourself.

In a short answer it could be a fear of being alone. You may have been in this relationship for a long time and have strong feelings for your partner and you may miss him/her even if you are being treated badly. It is really up to you to set boundaries and decide when enough is enough. You need to understand when the relationship is so toxic that it is affected your mental health or if the behaviour from your partner can be forgiven. It is something that only can do not need to be alone in your decision. You can discuss it with family friends or a listener at 7 cups.

More often than not, our brains like to go back to things that are familiar. When you get so used to something, you like to default to it so that you have a sense of security. Even if they are toxic, at least it's predictable and familiar, right? It's the same concept as buying a new drink from Starbucks or your preferred coffee shop, you know the drink you currently get will satisfy you. So instead of experimenting, you might just default to that instead of picking something new that might be better. This bias allows us to oversee negative traits in our significant other. It hits harder the longer you have been with this person.

Scared of being alone– Another reason that keeps you going back to a toxic relationship is the fear of being alone. The fear of loneliness overpowers everything else. For a lot of people there is a very deep core belief that they will always be alone and no one will like them or accept them. They put in your mind you are no good without them and that you cant live without them. I know for a fact because i was in this situation it gets better i promise Just block them and move on. My life was hard for weeks after but it got better