Why do I keep going back to my toxic relationship?
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Last Updated: 05/13/2022 at 6:18pm
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Anonymous
December 6th, 2017 3:16am
I believe that maybe because we feed onto the romantic ideas of love that there needs to be someone magically special to make us feel that way. All of us desire to be treated with care. And at times we forget that love begins within. And we keep looking outside for something we already have. Any relationship can become potentially toxic if we 'depend' upon the other person to fulfill what we inherently desire. And as for it, there comes a time when we must learn to let go and love ourselves for who we are despite our mistakes and give ourselves what we need because no one else can understand us better. Relationships are always there to complement who we are and not 'complete' us.
its very hard to break off emotional ties especially if you've had intimate moments. I more than most have been there. remember your worth. you deserve love that doesn't include constant heartbreak.
You might be going back to it because it’s the one where get the most attention. Try deleting the toxic person from your life slowly.
First of all you need to establish how you feeling towards the other person in the relationship. In most cases people go back to toxic relationships because they are in love with that person and therefore they find it difficult to break off from that
We all want to feel safe and familiarity often provides the feeling of safety even though being safe and happy isn’t necessarily the same thing
Fear to go into uncharted territory and leave the known space is what keeps any person bound in a unhealthy relationship.
Often, we can become attached to a mistake that we've made simply because we have spent a long time making it. In the long run, leaving these kinds of situations in the past will be less hurtful than staying and continuing to bet treated improperly.
Perhaps talking to a professional will be able to help with your feelings and also find ways of coping. However it is good to have a healthy distance for you to heal
Most people go back to those who are bad for them because they're attached and comfortable with them. Even if they treat you bad. You love them so much that'd you'd rather stay, and be hurt, and wait for them to come around and change than leave.
Sometimes we go back to a relationship we know is toxic because we worry about being alone, and it is like a comfort that you know will still be there
Perhaps a lack of self esteem or a general feeling of low self worth. This negative idea that no one else would ever want you or love you so it's better to keep with this one person who said they did rather than being alone and fearing that you'd never find someone again who will love you.
Anonymous
February 22nd, 2018 10:14pm
It is because you still have feelings for them but you don't want them to find out so you keep it to youself.
If you tend to go back to a toxic relationship, it is a force of habit that you should break. You might have a mindset of "I know that they will change this time" and you need to stop that. If you are in a toxic relationship you must break apart for the benefit of yourself and keeping you safe from harm.
You must take care of yourself before trying to have a relationship. A lot of the times people accept the love they think they deserve, if you think you deserve anything less than than a healthy relationship, then the possiblity of you neglecting your self-being is why you return to toxic relationship. This goes for the side of the relationship that makes it toxic.
Anonymous
March 7th, 2018 11:48am
Because you love them to an extent that they dont feel toxic to you .. Please identify toxic people and push them away.
Anonymous
March 8th, 2018 6:28am
people usually go back to toxic relationships because they believe they can change the "toxic" person. Unfortunately people can't change people only life experience can.
You may feel like this relationship will somehow work itself out. But, it’s not always that way. You just have to do what’s best for you. A toxic relationship, is not.
Anonymous
April 6th, 2018 3:43am
Maybe because you are just too attached to the person. Or maybe you're just in the thought that you love him but ignoring all the other facts how much he hurt you
Anonymous
April 15th, 2018 6:58pm
Because you love that person and no matter how many times they do something to you, you choose to forgive them and love them unconditionally
I've read some things about this.
1. It might be that you have had a bad upbringing /broken family/ been neglected, so trying to make this relationship a good one is a way to try to resolve the past. Also, it's what you was engrained in you to be "family" and "love" and in a way it makes you feel comfortable cause that's what you grew up with.
2. Maybe you have a good past, but you still can't let go and want to solve it.
If you let go you are accepting you can't fix things, it's not in your control and that you are not good enough.
Not saying this IS the case, and it's mostly something that happens on an unconscious level. I'm a bit in this situation, so I can relate.
This could be because of numerous reasons. Maybe because you get the attention that you want and dont get otherwise. Or because you need someone else to love you because you still dont love yourself.
Anonymous
May 2nd, 2018 12:22pm
In the beginning the relationship was blissfull. As it slowly went down hill you both held on to the piece that made you the happiest. You have to ask yourself now “Is the pain worth it.â€
Humans are creatures of habit, and much more comfortable in the familiar than in new situations. So even if you know (which it sounds like you do) that a different situation/relationship would be a better one for you, it is different from what you are used to so you are less likely to go for it. But know that you deserve to be either single or in a healthy, supportive relationship, even if it's scary at first!
Sometimes we get so dependent on our significant other, or more specifically what they stand for. Are they the primary social support in our lives? Have they been there so long that they are no longer just a person, but an actual extension of what makes us what we are? Much like the way a child needs his security blanket, we need that toxic person as a source of comfort even if their actions speak otherwise.
Ideally is cutting off all contact to stop going back, reviewing what's making the relationship toxic and how much you get hurt is knowing what is bad, then you can start self care looking for something you want in your relationship
As said we get addicted to bad things more easily. Once caught you cant escape. You get frustrated, tired you run away but you cannot go far. You will be back. It is addivtive.
Sometimes we get into an unhealthy relationship and become manipulated by our partner. This then leads to a toxic relationship especially if it becomes abusive. The cycle of an abusive relationship is hard to escape leaving the victim with serious emotional damage which leaves the victim to easily run back to the abusive partner. Another theory is that we get into relationships with people who remind us of our parents/family and if they were abusive in any way, you may subconsciously choose to be with someone who brings up those same negative feelings the way your loved one did in the past.
Sometimes it’s hard to let go of what you’re used to. Changes are very difficult but that’s what makes a human develop. Can you tell me a little more about that?
Obviously something might still be there or there might be something you crave from that person that only that person can provide
sometimes it is hard to leave someone who you think is a good person and may be for a little bit but in the end you think they love you when it is just making you feel bad
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