Why do I keep going back to my toxic relationship?
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Last Updated: 05/13/2022 at 6:18pm
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Top Rated Answers
Past relationships bring a measure of certainty and security. It's easy to listen to the charms of an ex-lover, especially if they're very charismatic. You'll want to believe they can change, and things will be better this next time. Though, often, that is just smoke and mirrors. Plus, the chemical high from a relationship is somewhat addictive, so when you hit withdrawal and someone offers you a hit of love... hard to deny it.
Anonymous
April 16th, 2017 6:30pm
It's important to remember the things that made you leave in the first place. Oftentimes we remember the good things in the relationships, and at the same time forget the things that made it so toxic
Anonymous
April 23rd, 2017 9:12pm
They make me feel needed and they promise things will be different although it never changes. Their love will seem real but then it quickly fades and they end up hurting you again. They know they can use your intense feelings against yourself.
Toxic relationships are often hard to break from, as you often develop a dependency they have created, to keep you with them, from personal experience, my ex boyfriend isolated me and made me feel alone, unless he was with me, which made it incredibly hard to leave, however with the right amount of strength, and support I was able to break free, and you can too, just don't let them back in no matter how hard it is. It will be better in the long run, and you will find love again
Humans are creatures of habit. Even if the habit isn't a good one we often revert back to them. The term 'old habits die hard' is very apt. We know when a relationship is toxic. Some part f us always knows but for some reason many of us return.
The reason for this is as mentioned above we are all creatures of habit. Whilst the relationship may not be safe we know what to expect. It isn't surprising or unexpected and so we slip into an unhealthy comfort zone one to which we go back to when life gets confusing.
We tend to go back to toxic relationships because of how you feel about that person. It's up to you on whether or not you want to continue with it, but think about what it's doing to you. It's hard to let someone go even if they have hurt/betrayed us. I know all about that first hand. Just do what you feel is best. As long as that person is in your heart and you love and care about them, you will more than likely always revert back to them and the relationship no matter what is said and done and nobody sometimes not even ourselves can make those feelings disappear. .
Anonymous
June 23rd, 2017 8:25pm
Number of reasons. Love is the seventh sense that destroys all other senses, a famous line used by lovers for ages, is one of the reasons actually. You don't remain in your senses.
Secondly, you've hoped for a life with that person, you have given life to your other half. How can you easily give up on that? It's hard to move on from the thing that was once the most powerful reason for your happiness.
This is why, whenever your other half shows you a fake or a little sympathy, you rush back for sake of your happiness and love you gave.
Because you have the fear of letting go.
You have an innate belief that you won't get anyone better than the one you have/had.
You don't trust your positive energies enough that it will attract again someone you will genuinely share a great bond with!
We always feel like the next one won't be this good, while entirely overlooking the current flaws in the current scenario.
You will always attract more of what you focus on.
You need to force yourself to believe that the next person will be just as good, if not better, than what you had/have. Initially.
And the, before you know it, someone will come around. Always does.
Sometimes we go back to people we think we love even when they hurt us (and we hurt them) because it is what is familiar.
People tend to revert to what they know, even if they know it is bad for them. Encourage yourself to explore healthier ways of dealing with loneliness and stress, and hopefully find someone who appreciates you?
I’ve come to notice individuals (including myself) who grew up in an environment where they seeked approval from a parent or guardian who was hard to get approval from seem to stay in these relationships longer. I’m in another toxic one myself. The relationships that are horrible for me I stay in for years and years, while the ones that would be perfect, for some reason I end within 6/mo. Always. I need to change and love myself first. It feels wrong though and I’m sure it will for awhile, but we must love ourselves first to create a reality we no longer want to run from. You deserve anything you want, but some of the things you want will never come if you have negativity in the way of that good positive energy.
Leaving toxic relationships and staying away is much harder than it seems to be. It is easy to go back with the thought that things may change, although we are lying to ourselves. The real challenge is gaining the strength to stay away and obtain self love. Not impossible, I would suggest turning your attention else where and keep busy. Try to build yourself back up.
Anonymous
November 10th, 2016 10:36pm
You might find the idea of being single more frightening than being in the toxic relationship, or maybe you don't think that you can find better. You can absolutely find better, and it just takes time to heal.
A toxic relationship can be quite addictive. The ups are so much better due to the contrast. Plus, love can be quite powerful. It’s hard to leave someone you care about, no matter how much they hurt you.
because it has become more like a need for you. Need can make you do the worst thing, so control that urge and need and think why you left the person in the first place.
Anonymous
May 5th, 2017 9:34am
Some people go back to toxic relationships because they try to see past the toxic aspects of the relationship and look for the good within it. Some people will also care for the said person too much that they are willing to keep trying in the relationships although theres a small chance itd ever be okay again.
Toxic relationships are hard to come out of. lots of people mix up the feelings of love and control and that can be hard. what you should remember is for any relationship you should be happy with your self before you can be happy with someone else.
Anonymous
March 9th, 2018 5:16am
because you need to be cared, you need attention, and you need someone to affirm you, confirm you on what you do. and you want to be accepted. or at least you just want to be in a relationship. remember this, you don't have to be in a relationship, you can be alone and be okay with it. lonely people are usually the ones who have the most.
Anonymous
April 28th, 2018 7:33am
From a personal experience, you go back to a toxic relationship since it has been the typical relationship for you. You are afraid of change. Plus, the love you have for the person never really goes away entirely, confusing you for the thought that you won't find a love unlike the one you are used having. But, in reality, the world has so much to offer for a big heart like yours.
Attachment and fear of being alone or not finding someone else. It is a normal state for most people. Focusing on different things like daily activities (work/study/sport/socializing..etc) can help keep the mind away from the emotions
Toxic relationships can be very very difficult to leave, especially if it is with someone who you care very much about. Each case is very different so I cant speak to this situation directly but if you really want out you need to put measures in place to guarantee you dont go back.
It's easy to get trapped in a cycle of what's comfortable. And sometimes what we long for in a relationship has nothing to do with the person themselves, just some of the things we get from the relationship itself and we find it easier to take some of the bad with the good in order to not be alone.
Sometimes it's hard to break what you've accepted as status quo, and sometimes you might still love your abuser or be manipulated by them into thinking it's okay for them to hurt you.
It is very likely that you go back to a toxic relationship due to low self esteem. You might think that you do not deserve better than that person because nobody will like you like that person does. You might think you are useful to that person and you do not want to be someone who is useless. Of course, these unconscious and impulsive thoughts are erroneous in some way. I hope you work things out with your sense of self.
Misery can be comforting. We seek to go to places we know even if they aren't the best for us. You have grown used to a toxic relationship that it feels easier to give your partner another shot than to try to love someone new.
Because I have no one and my family keeps on turning their backs on me so I stick to the only person I have in my life even though the relationship is very toxic😱
Anonymous
October 19th, 2016 6:03pm
One will return to a toxic relationship when the perceived benefits of the relationship are greater than the negative aspects. In other words, it may be because even though the relationship is toxic, you feel that it is better than another alternative. It is important to realize that you are worth something! If the relationship is not good for you, then do not go back. Also, if you are afraid to leave the individual you are with, please seek help.
The reason you might be going back to your toxic relationship, is that it might be too safe and predictive. You have become accustomed to your partner even though they are toxic. You may consult a listener or an expert, if you feel you need help.
Honestly you probably go back because they promise to change, they spend some time acting like the perfect person and makes you think they will change, You need some time out, you need to think about this before going back, how many times have you been back and how many times have you been hurt, I wont lie, it will hurt walking away however in the long run this will be good for you and you will realize you are worth so much more.
Anonymous
December 17th, 2017 11:53am
Because we think they're going to change. We keep on hoping for a change. Also, we know that every bad person has also a good side. And we know their good site. And if you think about their good sites and maybe the most beautiful experiences with them, you keep on hoping to experience their good site once again.
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