Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

I still love my ex. Should I feel this way?

416 Answers
Last Updated: 07/12/2024 at 12:28pm
I still love my ex. Should I feel this way?
★ This question about Breakups was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
Perfect therapy for people who need help. I would like to say, I never can imagine it could be possible to heal people like that
Ta Tania
5 star rating
Moderated by

Kare M, MS, LCMHC, NCC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Imagine a life where you're able to embrace your true self in all areas. Together, my hope is to unlock your potential towards building more self-awareness and authenticity.

Top Rated Answers
Akatsuya
March 13th, 2016 8:35am
You can't help the way you feel, but it is best to try and stay awayif they really or not interested or they treated you badly.
chamomilewizard
January 6th, 2016 2:24am
There is no "should" in the world of feelings and romance. There is no right or wrong, so don't beat yourself up over that. It's okay if you feel this way, and it is a very common feeling as well!
NewRomantic677
January 3rd, 2016 11:17am
I've always believed that there aren't any rights or wrongs when it comes to feelings- that being said, you've got to know what's good for you and what's bad for you. Some emotions, while normal, may need to be controlled/terminated because they may hurt you. Still loving your Ex after a breakup is normal- we all take time to recover from ANYTHING, and especially with breakups feeling this way is fine. However, if you're planning on moving on (I hope you are) you should step forward- acknowledging these feelings are a good start, but now you've gotta make sure they aren't an obstacle to your full recovery. All the best! :D ❤
GroovySoul
- Expert in Breakups
January 6th, 2016 7:09pm
It's completely normal to feel that way after spending so much time with someone who you had deep feelings about. And frankly, you'll probably feel this way for a while but don't worry, the feelings will subside, but depending on how to relationship was, the feeling might always be there, lingering in the back of your mind but like I said before, it's normal.
Anonymous
January 7th, 2016 7:31am
It is 100% okay to still love your ex. You showed someone else a side no one else has gotten to see. You got to be 100% yourself with them. There were so many deep and amazing moments. Overall, it's okay to miss them and still love them.
BadgerTheHelpful
January 7th, 2016 8:56am
Love is love, and if you love someone that is good, if they love to back that's even better, butntherenis no right or wrong person to be in love with.
Mimii1
June 24th, 2015 5:03pm
It is okay to still love someone, even if the friendship or relationship has ended. Sometimes we never stop loving someone, and that is perfectly natural. History, memories, and a story are created with a person or people, so it's quite usual that we keep a special place in our heart for them. Sometimes feelings even fade and we feel nothing at all for a person anymore, that is fine as well.
StJaume
June 25th, 2015 2:03am
It's absolutely normal to love one's ex. In a long-lasting, close, meaningful relationship, it is not easy to let go of ties that have been forged over such a long time. One might even say that not having such feelings after a breakup is an indication of the lack of value or devotion placed in that relationship! We may be led to question ourselves and our ex at every step of the way, and it can be a very confusing time indeed. Don't let this breakup take control of your life, though. As the world turns it goes on. In spite of all the tragedies it has faced and will face, it has found and will continue to find triumphs. And so must we.
musicalDew34
January 7th, 2016 7:27pm
Its okay to be in love with your ex but to a certain extent..we must never forget to love those people too who are around us and who love us
Lanapleurodon
December 16th, 2015 2:30pm
Well more to the point, can you feel any other way? We would all like to be able to change how we feel about people but most of the time that is not possible. It might be better to say to myself, I still love my ex, and I accept that we cannot be together again. Then put the energy into improving your life. Start learning something new, try to start a new chapter in your life, and you will most likely find that as your life improves the feelings for your ex fade.
MichelleBlings
January 1st, 2016 7:08am
Absolutely! In some ways you never stop loving someone you shared a peroid of your life with. I feel that is even stronger when there are children involved. I am.divorced. my husband left me for another woman. It took me 10 years to recover and stop loving and hurting. Love is a good thing. Its better than hate. However you.also deserve to be loved in return. Care for him but love yourself more.
Anonymous
June 26th, 2015 6:07am
I believe, when anyone you have had a strong and trusting relationship ends abruptly, it is perfectly normal to have feelings for them. The feeling's are based off of your experiences and I think that's okay. Some people never stop loving their ex's, they just learn to love them in a different way.
SaraMichelle
December 31st, 2015 9:12pm
That is completely okay! Sometimes you can still love each other but can't be together because maybe the time isn't right or something else.
BlaiseTheListener
December 17th, 2015 7:33am
Your feelings are valid. There is no right or wrong way you should feel able any situation. Your ex was someone who played a large role in your life. It's perfectly okay to still love him or her.
Anonymous
January 9th, 2016 8:51am
Yes i thinks a normal feeling after a breakup specially if you didnt want to breakup in the first place
Michelle0621
January 9th, 2016 2:10pm
You can still love her, love is not illegal, sometimes we break up with someone we love, but love still remains, we can't control our feelings for them, but we can try to make ourselves feel better.
Vronica23
August 14th, 2017 5:21pm
When you invest your time in a relationship, it's hard to just get over those feelings over night. When someone is in your life in a significant way, it makes sense that they still hold a place in your heart even after you break up. Focus on yourself, and making yourself a better you. Get to know yourself better, and you will see yourself moving forward.
AnxiousKitten
July 1st, 2015 11:03am
It is completely normal to still love your ex. This is someone you spent a lot of time with, and you both saw potential in each other. Feelings don't disappear.
BrokenDefinition
July 1st, 2015 1:59pm
You should feel however you need to feel. Try talking to a friend or family member or enjoying things you like to do. Break ups are not an ending.
Anonymous
July 10th, 2017 12:57pm
absolutely there is nothing wrong in feeling that way. Love is something you cant control.. it the most beautiful feeling ever..
ClareBlissfulSoul22
December 18th, 2015 9:33pm
We feel, what we feel. There is no right or wrong. It takes time to heal and get over the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship. It is a process, people grieve differently. The feelings may not ever fully go away but the feelings may change over time. After the end of my 7 year relationship I thought I would never get over losing him. I can think of him now and the times we had together and i feel happy for those times we shared and for the experiences, but the feelings are not over powering or as strong as when we first split up. I think it is important to Feel your feelings as they arise, talk about it with trusted friends,write about it, whatever helps you, accept them and Over time things will become easier.
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2015 4:19am
You can never stop feeling intensely for people who have gad major effect on your life. Learn to love them from a distance and love yourself for all you can.
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2015 4:54pm
Well, love is something that doesn't just fade away but sometimes.. The best way to love a person is from afar..
neverendingMelon46
July 3rd, 2015 6:19am
Its not wrong, sometimes love doesn't go away. I believe that the significant people in our lives never leave our hearts even if they have turned out different to we expected, even if they are the ones on the wrong and there is no chance of being back together
Subneurotic
October 18th, 2016 6:16am
Its perfectly fine to still love your ex after the relationship is newly ended. We all feel this way.
Anonymous
July 4th, 2015 7:09pm
If you still love him than its normal, sometimes feelings never change for a person that you had a good relationship with.
xXArianaListensXx
November 4th, 2014 5:17pm
That is normal to still love your ex, I still love my ex too. Sometimes you just need to ignore that feeling and move on even though it hurts to move on.
ASilentBunny
March 27th, 2022 3:04pm
It's okay to feel that way and you are not the only one who feels like that... By breaking up, you can't erase all the experiences and feelings you had with your partner. Acknowledge your emotions and express them. As time goes on, begin analyzing your relationship. Begin focusing on your life again and remind yourself that it's okay to feel that way. It hurts when the person that made you feel so special just leave like that. Remember that although your emotions will be strong after a breakup, it gets better with time. There is not a set time to get over it, people take different amounts of time to heal. Don't rush your healing process.
Ed78
December 20th, 2015 6:33pm
Yes, you should. Because there is never any "should" with feelings. Feelings are what they are, and they "should" never be judged as good, bad or anything else. They need a voice, they need to be heard, but they don't necessarily need to be acted upon. So accept the fact you still love this person, since love is a good thing. It doesn't prevent you from having a relationship with someone else.
butterflykisses27
July 11th, 2015 5:56am
Its perfectly normal if you have been with someone and you loved them and the relationship ends you will still feel love for that person. Every person we meet in life leaves some kind of imprint on us. Some more than others. Especially those we have been intimate with and or shared part of our lives and our thought and deepest emotions. Its perfectly normal.