I still love my ex. Should I feel this way?
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Last Updated: 07/12/2024 at 12:28pm
★ This question about Breakups was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
August 17th, 2015 5:31am
Well. Some people do and some people don't. If they're you ex then they had to be your gf/bf at one time. So you would have had to love them at some point to be with them.
It's completely normal to still have feelings for your ex. You were once in a relationship with them and it isn't easy to "turn off" the love you may still feel for them.
When struggling, remind yourself of the reasons why you are no longer with your ex and why your life is now better without that person in your life. This will help ground you and realize that you are remembering past emotions that don't exist in the present. You've moved on, and deserve the love of a wonderful person in your present life.
Anonymous
August 13th, 2015 3:41am
There is certainly nothing wrong with it, I felt I still loved my ex for some time before finally moving on.
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2015 9:57am
There is no on-off switch to love. Just as LGBT individuals cannot choose their sexuality (not that there is anything wrong with being LGBT), individuals such as you cannot choose whom you fall in love with. Most often, ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends are from your past, and having loved them before, it is very nearly a habit for you to love them. You therefore have great difficulty not loving them still after they have left you. There is nothing wrong with it, nor is there a 'should' or 'should not' to it. If you must, you must. There is a kind of moving on in which your love for your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend does not fade, but you will always feel a kind of emotion towards them. That is all right, too. It is psychologically healthy. Worry not, and good luck to you in your love life!
There is no right way of feeling in such a situation, but it is likely that it will take some time after a break-up to "stop loving" that particular ex. In my own experience, that process will take some time to get used to no longer being with that person.
Anonymous
November 7th, 2016 2:29am
It's completely natural to still love your ex. You have memories of them. Things you've shared. And if it's a recent break up of course you'll still have feelings.
This is completely normal. A lot of people feel the same way. If you want to get rid of the feelings you have for your ex bf/gf then I suggest getting rid of all your memories of him/her, deleting his phone number, delete all the pictures/texts with him and stuff like that. It should help.
That is completely normal to feel this way. Have you talked to your ex about the way you feel? If things ended badly then perhaps you could work on placing this love into your own self rather than externally. it's completely normal to feel this way.
i don't believe there's a right or wrong way to feel..
break ups can be rough and leave you feeling all sorts of things. take it day by day and it is true, time heals all wounds!
Anonymous
June 13th, 2016 10:41pm
It is normal for you to have feelings for someone you were atached to. If you loved them it is hard to unlove them
A breakup puts an end only to the relationship and not to the feelings. You may continue to experience love towards your ex for lifetime by accepting the reality that you two are not together anymore and move on with your life, even love someone else in the future by relegating your ex to your past.
Its normal to still have these feelings and nothing to worry about. It's even more difficult if you have been in a long relationship. Time is the only answer.
Anonymous
June 5th, 2016 9:31am
It's alright to love somebody even if they are your ex, caring for someone you had relations with is natural for us humans. Feeling that way is very normal.
love once felt stays with us for ever. its not a mistake to feel so but what matters is that we must not forget to move on. just remember that in life you can always find better things. so why stick with the old ones.
Anonymous
December 25th, 2015 5:11am
It's normal to still love someone you were once romantically involved with. Do you feel you should still love your ex? depending on how long the relationship lasted , and how the relationship ended may take a significant role with influencing your current feelings . Bottom line is , it's completely normal to still care for and love your ex.
Being in love with an ex can be quite traumatic. You have all the right to feel affection and care for the person.. Maybe it's a good idea to focus on why things did not work out and what you learnt from it. There is no sure shot way to ensure that you will stop loving them completely. Keep the feelings, just don't act on them without thinking..
I think it only normal that you love your ex. Because regardless of how much they harmed or cared for you, you can not tell the story that is your life without acknowledging them. As for whether you "should feel this way" I don't think that's a good question. Because I can't tell you how you should or should not feel. The same way you can't tell a tree how it should or should not grow. Yet, they tend to grow in the direction of sunlight. Similarly, we grow in the direction that brings us warmth. Emotion is natural, everyone responds in their own way. Every emotion you experience is a natural one because that's what life is. A collection of experiences, each one characterized by an emotion. How you act on those emotions is what defines you.
It is perfectly normal to still love your ex lover, especially if the relationship had been going on for a long time. We are all human beings, and we all have feelings.
Moving on is really hard. Yes, we've all been there at some point in our lives especially if our exes had made beautiful changes in our lives that are just too hard to forget. But please don't confuse those feelings for love, it might have just been fragments of the feelings left after all.
It is okay to feel that way. Remember, it is okay to miss someone who you do not actually want or need in your life.
It is normal. Time is the only thing that will heal yourself. I had a terrible traumatic breakup, and it took me years to overcome it. I would not dwell on loving an ex too much, because with time that will pass.
Anonymous
January 17th, 2016 11:03pm
If you should feel this way is hard to say but some feelings are hard to let go. Try not to focus on it, it will either go away with time or you may have love for that person forever. No matter how it ends up youll be okay and will find someone new to fill the void, I promise :) You may think you still love them but that can change in the future and you may be able to let go. Remember this.
Anonymous
August 2nd, 2015 6:02pm
Based on my experience , i have learnt that we are always going to love people we have shared a part of our lives with
Anonymous
January 23rd, 2016 6:23pm
yes, because if you were in love with your ex like I was you will always have feelings for that one person no matter what..
Anonymous
January 27th, 2016 3:28pm
It's perfectly normal to still have feelings for your ex especially if they broke up with you but even if you broke up with them it's still normal
Anonymous
July 27th, 2015 8:17pm
I don't think your feelings are just able to disappear after you have loved someone no matter if they have hurt you or not. We meet many people during our lives that take up a place in our hearts, and that includes an ex.
Anonymous
January 27th, 2016 4:22pm
I think it is for a while. You need to take time to heal and redefine yourself a long relationship. Focus on your work friends and family. It gets easier over time. When you least expect it you'll realize you haven't even though of your ex in a long while. 😃
Anonymous
July 26th, 2015 9:23am
It is okay to still love your ex. Just please be sure to love yourself first and keep in mind that moving on could be better for you.
Anonymous
March 17th, 2016 1:52pm
From previous experience you will also find feelings from previous relationships. Also look forward.
I don't think you can ever stop loving people ... feelings don't start and stop automatically ... embrace it with gratefulness but know that you can live and still love without him/her .. good luck ....
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