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Discussions of the Trauma Sub-Community Announcement Thread
by audienta
Last post
 16 hours ago
...See more Hello everyone, In this thread, the discussions of the trauma sub-community will be announced by the hosts 24 hours in advance. After a session has happened, I'll remove the post so that the thread stays nice and clean. (Update 10/15/2024: I cannot delete posts due to a bug. I hope this will get resolved soon.) If you want to be tagged for future discussions, please comment or pm me and I'll add you to the list. You can find the schedule of the discussions here (clickable) [https://www.7cups.com/forum/TraumaticExperiencesCommunity_60/DissociationRelatedDisorders_2335/ScheduleDiscussionsaboutDissociativeDisorders_302437/]. If you need to convert the time into your time zone, click here (clickable) [https://rarelycharlie.github.io/7cupstime]. Please let me know if you have any questions! Take care, audienta (lastly updated: 6/13/2023)
Trauma Support Community Check-In for November 2024 - Veterans & Military Families Month
by audienta
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more Hello everyone, welcome to this month's check-in! This month is Veterans & Military Families Month. (Source [https://www.militaryonesource.mil/media/toolkits/service-provider/national-veterans-military-families-month/#:~:text=Every%20November%2C%20Military%20OneSource%20honors,members%20of%20our%20military%20community.]) This month we want to appreciate the support that families of soldiers give them and the sacrifices that they make to be able to give this support. We also want to appreciate veterans for the work they have done. Being part of a military family as well as being a veteran can come with a lot of trauma so we want you to know that this community is here for you.  On a side note, we're currently working on a regular support chat for veterans, so if you're interested in that, please pm me. ------------------------- Trauma Support Community Check-In for November 2024 1) What is something that helps you to feel grounded when the world around you gets overwhelming? 2) What are some challenges you're anticipating this month? 3) What's a strength you've discovered in yourself or your family through difficult times? ------------------------- If you have a question you'd like me to ask at the next check-in, please let me know! Take care, audienta ------------------------- Source: https://www.militaryonesource.mil/parenting/family-life/military-family-appreciation/ [https://www.militaryonesource.mil/parenting/family-life/military-family-appreciation/] ------------------------- You can get added to or removed from the trauma support taglist here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/TraumaSupport_60/ampResources_2334/TraumaSupportAutomatedTaglist_219256/]. @0Some0where0I0BELONG0 @13irth @adaptableLake3534 @adequatelyInadequate @adventurousAcres9344 @adventurousBranch3786 @AffyAvo @AguaNector6700 @allYou @Amelia2324 @amiableBunny4016 @AshFox2007 @AstronomySkies @audienta @Avaray @BeautifulCreation999 @BeenAKiwi @bela12345 @BillyJoeBobb @blueScarf9326 @bouncyBreeze44 @BraveAdventurer @BrokenDreamsPalace @BrokenMedic @bubblegumPuppy68 @bumblebee2307 @Bunnylovesyou @CalmRosebud @CaptainTrev @carefulKitten1131 @CaringBrit @charmingSky5972 @Chrissy911666 @Claireolomi @clare7199 @Colorfulcatsofhope @communicativePond1728 @communicativeYard2325 @conicha @CoolBeans29 @coolvibes @Crakyz @creativeStrings1531 @crimsonLime6525 @crxxtvfl0w @cueball @cyanPlatypus6370 @DaniAleah156 @Dannc7c @DarkGalaxy55555 @daydreammemories @Deadtiredperson175 @delicatepunk @depressedsatellite1452 @diligentDime8651 @DinaElwy @domesticEmerald50s @Eitas @emotional232023 @emotionalTalker2260 @emylly @FallenAngel0128 @Feathersfall @FigureskatingEquestrian @Fireskye13 @Fleggles @fluien @forcefulFriend4768 @Gagaintheroom @gentleLand5245 @Ghxstie @goldenSpruce1512 @Grandmaof10 @Greenchoice1 @gregariousBeing5071 @Grits1910 @helpfulLion92 @hillsideblues @honestpanda81 @HonestWarrior6624 @HopeNChayil @HumanPersonThingy @Iamwhoiamwhoami @IceCream4IceCream @iloveyouxx @IndigoWhisper @InfinityandBeyond23 @inventiveOrange1313 @Itisbailey @jcqlinshots @Journey144 @jovialButterfly6752 @jr50 @Judy7 @jupitermatilde @JustSmilingThruHell @Kekesea11 @Kickiree @Kimmkimm @kindTurtle3738 @kittydragon771 @Kunoichi91Warrior @LightofWorld @LillithHolly @Lilly28 @lilmissjaded @lionsaether @littleHuman9247 @littleOtter1342 @LordFireStorm71 @lovehummingbirdsCindy @LovelyForever6990 @LovelyOrangeJuice @LoveMyMoonflowers @lowkeyem1001 @Lubo123 @Luchelle @lyricalAngel70 @Marigold357 @maya6548 @mcooper7583 @Meenagirl @Mellietronx @mish3l @MistyMagic @mkaitx @Mooglethefluffy @MunchieTaters @MVObserver @mytwistedsoul @navyMango2804 @neatBlueberry3608 @neonDog3649 @neonOwl3442 @NevaehRose @Nolanhm @NoneTheWiser @nonethewiser @notmyselftoday @Novelwriter @npos25 @oceancruiser48 @Oceanwaves16 @OffDutySeraph @OneErased @OneWithSugar @ottersngiggles @parkey @Parvlakin @PatienceImpatiens @pencilmarks @Petrichor2000 @Philowl @Pidgeymon @PinkestOctopus @politeBunny7572 @practicalIdeal2007 @purpleWheel873 @QuietLotus @rainbow3140 @Randomperson453 @RansviewTheWizard @raspberry563 @ReallyRuth @Rebekahwriter13 @Redhawk6547 @Redirecting @redmark @reliablePeach8464 @Rosa9570 @SafeSpace1776 @SapphireSoul @SarahAlaina15 @scarletPear1945 @selfdisciplinedTiger5523 @sensitiveShade5337 @ShapeshiftSystem @shellofashell @shiningDay80 @Silverviolets @sincereThinker3571 @sleepingd0gg0 @SmileSravani @SnippyHam @sofiamartino18 @SoftForestHSP77 @SoulSupporter102 @StarlightSystemDID @stickercollection @Storyhymns1234 @straightforwardSkies7721 @sugarcookies7 @Summer899 @SynSavory @Taylorz27 @tealOak8933 @teenytinyturtle @The0Vetoed0System @TheAutumnWitch @TheFisherKing @ThisIsLogan @ThreadbareThinker @Tinywhisper11 @TransparentPuzzle @turquoiseHemlock900 @Turtlegrrrl8 @u1146 @underapinetree @Understandingempath @UndomesticGoddess @unique73 @uniqueDaisy @veeceebee @Verysadperson101 @Vivikun9 @WarriorHeartsSystem @weepingwillow5489 @WelcomeToChat @wontwakewontsleep @WorkingitThrough2 @Worrior22Warrior @Writersworld @WriteToHeal42 @xandia @xmoonsie16x0
What to do after a sexual assault
by audienta
Last post
 October 2nd
...See more What to do after a sexual assault If you're in danger, please call your local emergency line. TW: Sexual Assault What is sexual assault? Sexual assault is defined as sexual contact or behaviour that happens without explicit consent. Examples of sexual assault are: * Fondling or unwanted sexual touching * Non-consensual kissing * Forcing a victim to perform sexual acts, such as oral sex or penetrating the perpetrator’s body * Penetration of the victim’s body, also known as rape * Attempted rape What is explicit consent? The consent should be freely and clearly communicated. Also, it can be taken back at any point. You cannot give consent when you’re * incapacitated by drugs or alcohol * feeling pressured, threatened, or intimidated * under the legal age of consent What do I do right after experiencing sexual assault? * If you’re severely injured or in immediate danger, call your emergency line. * If you’re not in immediate danger but do not feel safe, consider calling someone you trust for support. * Know that what happened is not your fault. * If possible, call your local sexual assault hotline or a victim support center. * Go to a health care facility to receive medical attention and a sexual assault forensic exam, also known as “rape kit”. This has to be done within 72h and if possible, you should not go to the bathroom, shower, comb your hair, change your clothes, or clean up the area in which the assault has happened before you have done the exam. * Consider getting Post-Exposure-Prophylaxis, DoxyPEP, or the emergency contraceptive pill to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy depending on what you want and what your doctor recommends. * If you want to, report the assault. If you’re already getting medical attention, you can tell a medical professional that you want to report the assault. Otherwise, you can also call your local police department. What do I do afterwards? * Safety planning Brainstorm what you could do to stay safe and reduce the risk of future harm. Remember that it is not your fault that it happened though. * Therapy Working with a therapist might help with dealing with the challenges you might face after experiencing sexual assault. * Support group Dealing with the aftermath of a sexual assault is hard. But you’re not alone. In support groups you have the option to talk to other people with similar experiences. * Self-Care Making sure that our body and mind are well cared for can make such a difference. Focus on what helps you to feel grounded and safe. * Be careful with media consumption Portrayal of sexual violence in the media can be very triggering for sexual assault survivors. Remember that you don’t have to watch potentially triggering content. Pay attention to trigger or content warnings and read about the content before you watch it. How can 7 Cups help? 7 Cups can only support you while you’re not in crisis, which means, you can’t be actively self-harming, suicidal, in active danger, or planning on hurting someone while using 7 Cups. When you’re safe, this is what 7 Cups can offer: * 1-1 chats with trained listeners You can talk to our trained listeners 24/7. You can browse for listeners here [https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/]. * Open and guided group support chats You can find the schedule of all trauma support discussions here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/trauma/General_2433/ScheduleDiscussionsoftheTraumaSubCommunity_302437/]. * Self-help guides There are different self-help guides available, including one about traumatic experiences. You find all of them here [https://www.7cups.com/supportGuides/selfHelpGuides.php].  * Online therapy 7 Cups offers online therapy for USD §39.75 per week. This includes daily messaging - the therapist responds 1-2 times a day from monday to friday. If you want to have weekly video sessions, this costs additional §55 per week. You can find more information about that here [https://www.7cups.com/online-therapy]. Resources After Sexual Assault | RAINN [https://rainn.org/after-sexual-assault] Recovering from Sexual Violence | RAINN [https://rainn.org/recovering-sexual-violence] Tips for Survivors on Consuming Media | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/tips-survivors-consuming-media] Self-Care After Trauma | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/self-care-after-trauma] Telling Loved Ones About Sexual Assault | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/telling-loved-ones-about-sexual-assault] Reporting to Law Enforcement | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/reporting-law-enforcement] Steps You Can Take After Sexual Assault | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/steps-you-can-take-after-sexual-assault] The Importance of DNA in Sexual Assault Cases | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/importance-dna-sexual-assault-cases] What Is a Sexual Assault Forensic Exam? | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/rape-kit] Sexual Assault | RAINN What Consent Looks Like | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/what-is-consent] What Is Sexual Assault? | Columbia Health [https://www.health.columbia.edu/content/what-sexual-assault#:~:text=Sexual%20assault%20can%20encompass%20a,committing%20the%20harm%20against%20them] Post-Exposure-Prophylaxis | WebMD [https://www.webmd.com/hiv-aids/post-exposure-prophylaxis] DoxyPEP Factsheet | Public Health LA [http://www.publichealth.lacounty.gov/chs/Docs/DoxyPEP_Factsheet_EN.pdf] Emergency Contraceptive Pill | NHS UK [https://www.nhs.uk/contraception/methods-of-contraception/emergency-contraceptive-pill-morning-after-pill/what-is-it/#:~:text=The%20emergency%20contraceptive%20pill%2C%20sometimes,on%20the%20type%20of%20pill.]
Introduction + Some trauma dumping
by Nate715
Last post
 Friday
...See more Hello! I'm nate, I go by all pronouns and i've recently joined this sub community. I'm 13 and part of the LGBTQ+ community too. I grew up with tons of trauma just being layered on me, and one specific topic I want to talk about is gr00ming Keep in mind, I am not in danger and nor in need of any protection of any way, this is just my past story, thank you!  [TW: mentions of gr00ming] when I was three years old, its unfortunate me and my sister shared the same trauma because she's 5 years old and it happened when she was the same age, three.  I was formerly close with my grandma growing up but some things she did questioned me. she was quite young when I was born, she was just barely 52 or 53 (her bday is 5 days after mine). she's my dad's mother and my dad was also given trauma when he was younger, some things he experienced was physical abuse, neglection, emotional abuse, and I'm not sure what type of trauma this was, but he's been locked out of the house at least more then once if he was late to return home. Anyways, my mother told me when I was three years old, I went upstairs (I currently live in an apartment with 2 stories, and my cousins live above, i've lived there my whole life) to see my cousins and I ended up coming downstairs myself, with the most innocent of face, I said to her that grandma had touched my pr1vat3 p@rts, she believed me but she never did anything about it. when she told me this story I was horrified. at first, I thought it was sexual assault, turns out i've been gr00med. I don't know where she gr00med me in that tiny apartment, but it must've been ignored by the other people who were there. and then when my sister was three, my grandma had also taken her upstairs, and because my mom didn't tell me the story before she was gr00med, the same thing happened to her, and I didn't know before she came down, told my mom, and then my mom told me the similar story. its disgusting how someone so close to us gave us our first trauma. no child should have to go through that. yes, she still visits us as if nothing happened. my mom has told me horrible stories about her, and her ways of thinking is horrible. I grew apart from her and I haven't seen her in almost 3 weeks, and whenever shes around I stay away and keep an eye on my baby sister, considering she is five. my other sister, however, who is ten, was never close to her, and often stayed by my mom when she was younger, that's how I suppose, she avoided getting gr00med, huge bullet dodged.  knowing this happened to me makes me sick, even if it happened now over a decade ago. I hope to eventually press charges once i am eighteen. not in any danger nor in need of protection, perfectly okay once again! Nate, 13, All pronouns
What to do after a sexual assault
by audienta
Last post
 October 2nd
...See more What to do after a sexual assault If you're in danger, please call your local emergency line. TW: Sexual Assault What is sexual assault? Sexual assault is defined as sexual contact or behaviour that happens without explicit consent. Examples of sexual assault are: * Fondling or unwanted sexual touching * Non-consensual kissing * Forcing a victim to perform sexual acts, such as oral sex or penetrating the perpetrator’s body * Penetration of the victim’s body, also known as rape * Attempted rape What is explicit consent? The consent should be freely and clearly communicated. Also, it can be taken back at any point. You cannot give consent when you’re * incapacitated by drugs or alcohol * feeling pressured, threatened, or intimidated * under the legal age of consent What do I do right after experiencing sexual assault? * If you’re severely injured or in immediate danger, call your emergency line. * If you’re not in immediate danger but do not feel safe, consider calling someone you trust for support. * Know that what happened is not your fault. * If possible, call your local sexual assault hotline or a victim support center. * Go to a health care facility to receive medical attention and a sexual assault forensic exam, also known as “rape kit”. This has to be done within 72h and if possible, you should not go to the bathroom, shower, comb your hair, change your clothes, or clean up the area in which the assault has happened before you have done the exam. * Consider getting Post-Exposure-Prophylaxis, DoxyPEP, or the emergency contraceptive pill to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy depending on what you want and what your doctor recommends. * If you want to, report the assault. If you’re already getting medical attention, you can tell a medical professional that you want to report the assault. Otherwise, you can also call your local police department. What do I do afterwards? * Safety planning Brainstorm what you could do to stay safe and reduce the risk of future harm. Remember that it is not your fault that it happened though. * Therapy Working with a therapist might help with dealing with the challenges you might face after experiencing sexual assault. * Support group Dealing with the aftermath of a sexual assault is hard. But you’re not alone. In support groups you have the option to talk to other people with similar experiences. * Self-Care Making sure that our body and mind are well cared for can make such a difference. Focus on what helps you to feel grounded and safe. * Be careful with media consumption Portrayal of sexual violence in the media can be very triggering for sexual assault survivors. Remember that you don’t have to watch potentially triggering content. Pay attention to trigger or content warnings and read about the content before you watch it. How can 7 Cups help? 7 Cups can only support you while you’re not in crisis, which means, you can’t be actively self-harming, suicidal, in active danger, or planning on hurting someone while using 7 Cups. When you’re safe, this is what 7 Cups can offer: * 1-1 chats with trained listeners You can talk to our trained listeners 24/7. You can browse for listeners here [https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/]. * Open and guided group support chats You can find the schedule of all trauma support discussions here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/trauma/General_2433/ScheduleDiscussionsoftheTraumaSubCommunity_302437/]. * Self-help guides There are different self-help guides available, including one about traumatic experiences. You find all of them here [https://www.7cups.com/supportGuides/selfHelpGuides.php].  * Online therapy 7 Cups offers online therapy for USD §39.75 per week. This includes daily messaging - the therapist responds 1-2 times a day from monday to friday. If you want to have weekly video sessions, this costs additional §55 per week. You can find more information about that here [https://www.7cups.com/online-therapy]. Resources After Sexual Assault | RAINN [https://rainn.org/after-sexual-assault] Recovering from Sexual Violence | RAINN [https://rainn.org/recovering-sexual-violence] Tips for Survivors on Consuming Media | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/tips-survivors-consuming-media] Self-Care After Trauma | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/self-care-after-trauma] Telling Loved Ones About Sexual Assault | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/telling-loved-ones-about-sexual-assault] Reporting to Law Enforcement | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/reporting-law-enforcement] Steps You Can Take After Sexual Assault | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/steps-you-can-take-after-sexual-assault] The Importance of DNA in Sexual Assault Cases | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/importance-dna-sexual-assault-cases] What Is a Sexual Assault Forensic Exam? | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/rape-kit] Sexual Assault | RAINN What Consent Looks Like | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/what-is-consent] What Is Sexual Assault? | Columbia Health [https://www.health.columbia.edu/content/what-sexual-assault#:~:text=Sexual%20assault%20can%20encompass%20a,committing%20the%20harm%20against%20them] Post-Exposure-Prophylaxis | WebMD [https://www.webmd.com/hiv-aids/post-exposure-prophylaxis] DoxyPEP Factsheet | Public Health LA [http://www.publichealth.lacounty.gov/chs/Docs/DoxyPEP_Factsheet_EN.pdf] Emergency Contraceptive Pill | NHS UK [https://www.nhs.uk/contraception/methods-of-contraception/emergency-contraceptive-pill-morning-after-pill/what-is-it/#:~:text=The%20emergency%20contraceptive%20pill%2C%20sometimes,on%20the%20type%20of%20pill.]
I found him on Facebook and I’m still scared of him
by Frostwood
Last post
 September 29th
...See more I found him. He was married and happy with a baby. Not, in jail gross, or being a loser like I’d hoped. He had a wife - she looked happy not scared. And a baby girl. I’m only now realizing being scared of him isn’t normal. The fact that I cried afterwards… wasn’t normal. When I said no and he didn’t listen… that wasn’t normal. i hate him. I want bad things to happen to him. But instead he is a happy father. I’m not this person - I’m not one to wish hate or evil. I try not to be. I want to move on. I don’t know how. i can’t believe I just.realized. I was orally raped and molested. All these years I told myself I must have been ok with it. Because I didn’t get up and leave the house till after it was over. Maybe this was a way to feel like I had control over the situation. He was evil to me. And he was supposed to be my boyfriend. I was only 17 and he was 22. I trusted him. I was a fool. for years I was disgusted and ashamed. Sometimes the memory would creep into my head and I would shoved it down. I blamed myself. I’m so lost by it all. Is this where my fears started taking over my life? I hate him. So. So. Much. I want an apology from him. He made me feel like I was worthless because I wouldn’t let him have sex with me. He cheated on me afterwards and when I broke up with him he treated me like I was some crazy female. So. Many. Lies. He just wanted to have me not to love me. I was so young. I thought I was so smart and mature. i want to ruin his life. But I never would. Is this the beginning stages of healing for me? Acknowledging the truth? Can I move on?
I was asulted at 8 y/o
by Roecho
Last post
 September 16th
...See more I never talked much about it, only three people in my life know about this and two of them are online, I struggled for years with sexuality and touching as I always felt ashamed of my own body to the point of not being able to look at it, I never knew why I was like this, I remember something happened, but I didn't know what. One day, everything just came back, I remember him, I remembered the old abounded house, the small room and what happened, my reaction to this wasn't crying, it was just confusion, how the *** does nobody of my family know about this, it's not something to go so unnoticed, I even found a picture of that day that my dad took of me with the clothes I was asulted on and my face is just horrified even with my face smiling no way you can't sense something is off, I feel super disappointed and yeg glad that nobody knew, but it's a weigh always on my shoulder, my dreams has been disoriented since then, I remember the words he said, "Relax, don't be afraid, just wait" it repeats over and over in my head, and the shocking thing about it, is it wasn't my only assault 
tw hard to overcome
by Pumkineyes25
Last post
 September 11th
...See more Why is it so hard to move past the events of sexual assault? For me, it has been nearly 10 years since it happened but I still feel as if it was yesterday I was helping this guy when we stopped and the event happened and it took place in a car and I just feel like I am never going to move past this feeling of it just happening. I know that things take time but I just want to have the whole thing behind me. I am not sure if living in the town in which the sexual assault took place is making me feel this way or the fact that I ran into the guy the other day and was seeing him for the first time since the sexual assault happened but I do know that I have had some strong feelings around the whole thing in the past couple of days. Also, this was not a one-time thing it happened over the span of about 2 years. Wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience. I understand that this is not the easiest thing to talk about but I need to know that I am not the only to feel this way
life man..
by sunnyangel3333
Last post
 August 7th
...See more TW// CSA, SA (pretty bad in mentioning),  eating issues Recently i went through a very difficult situation that left me a complete wreck incapable of eating or sleeping properly for a long time. on the day it happened, the only person in the house was my moms ex boyfriend, who was her ex at this time but we didn't have a place to stay (we have since moved out, its been about a month), because he was the only one at home, i ran to him and started sobbing because i just could not be alone in that moment. we spent the rest of the day together, but heres the problem.. He's been molesting me since i was 15 (i'm 18 now, about to be 19), and i've made an effort not to be alone with him for longer than i have to, and it turns out i was smart in doing that. When he thought i was falling asleep, and then later on was asleep, he started doing stuff to me twice, and attempted to have s/x with me. Keep in mind he's almost 50. this *** me up so much i vomited when he left, and it triggered my other issues since i'm a csa survivor thats been struggling to cope with the trauma for years. the last time i tried to speak up against him, i was told i was ruining his life and that i *** up cos i mentioned online what happened on one of the first majorly concerning incidents. i've been too afraid to say anything since then, and i'm sure i wouldn't be believed anyway. i've been needing to deal with this *** for years on my own, and now i do not have anyone i can even talk to about this so thats why this post exists  PS. Stay safe, please. Someone out there loves you 
TW : Harassment
by Stormandshelter
Last post
 July 2nd
...See more I was 16 or 17 when I was harassed and groomed online. I was in 3rd std. when I was teased. I'm trying so hard to cope up with the thoughts. To find myself again. To get rid of that shame, the humiliation, the agony but I don't know how long it will take for me to be able to do it. I'm tired. I'm so tired of carrying it everyday. I'm so tired of feeling worthless. Of feeling that I don't deserve love. Of being this weird person who has so many health issues that she doesn't know where to start from. I took a step to be in therapy. It's helping but some days can be so hard that they take my breath away from me in a minute...and I know no one else can relate to it except the people who have been on the receiving end of the abuse and humiliation. When they've been made to feel everyday that they're nothing more than an object. That their emotions, their words, their body.. nothing matters.  Some days I see that little girl and can't help but observe her pain, her innocence that's no more there.. Does it ever go away? Will I ever heal? How do I bring her back? How do I make her feel she didn't deserve any of it? Do you feel remorse? 
TW S.A/childhood trauma
by lavenderBlueberry1762
Last post
 June 7th
...See more I need to tell my story that I have been keeping to myself for 7+years. The first time I was S.A I was 9-10 yrs old, I did get help for that S.A, saw a therapist, told the police and got justice. But then it happened again.. it's been 7-8 years since it stopped, I was being S.A by my stepdad this time, and I don't understand why or how. I believe he S.A for 2-3 years, its hard to remember how long or when it started since I've tried to erase it from my memory. I do think I need to see a therapist and get professional help.. I'm always stressed, stomach issues from stress I'm sure, I sometimes let it effect my sex life not very often but I get trigged every once in a while and can't enjoy sex with my long term BF. I feel like I'm the only one this has happened to. I had a hard childhood to being with I don't understand why my stepdad would have done this to me knowing what I had already been through.. Please advice of what kind of therapy would be best for me, thank you!  
Overwhelmed and struggling
by Grits1910
Last post
 June 2nd
...See more I keep on having these periods where I end up in hospital having passed out and stopped breathing. Latest one of these incidents happened at work right in front of my colleagues and I work in a school so this I've happened in one of the busiest parts of my school.... was so embarrassing. I can only guess what my colleagues are thinking of me right now. What is wrong with him? Why is this happening? They know it's happened twice at work. I think I'm one of only two people is ever had an ambulance called to work so embarrassing and I can't cope with people thinking about me, talking about me behind my back - I just want to fade into the background. My wife's really fed up - she is is saying that 85% of the time it's ok but then the 15% of the time where she's getting these calls - he's stopped breathing, I'm having CPR and she's having to explain to my kids what's going on on she's having to look after everything. She is supportive but she's struggling with it. She's cross because it doesn't feel like the doctors are are actually doing anything to stop this, to help deal with this, it's unsustainable. There's no joined up thinking. I see the psych team and they are just talking about the impact, the way I'm feeling and doing nothing about it. I see the neurology team and they are just totally focused on the medical issues, putting me through scan after scan but without anybody sitting back and going this is not working, this does not work. This is happened now this is the fourth time within the past year and a half and I just can't go on like this. It's exhausting. To be constantly on edge trying to think whether I'm going to end up back in hospital again. And the guilt having to cope with people saying, doctors saying, that some of this is psychosomatic. Makes me question why I can't control it. It makes me so so fed up that have no control over this and yet if it is somehow caused by my my body responding to the stress it's under, I need a way to handle this. I'm really worried and I don't know what to do. I don't know what my boss is thinking that needs to happen. Whether she's going to send me to occupational health to get assessed. She's right, this cannot keep on happening and I wish I had some answers I really do. But right now all I have these questions. And hearing my wife last night, I had nothing to say to her as what she was saying was totally understandable. I get where she's coming from. It's just really difficult to handle that I feel so bad for the impact on her, feel so so utterly crap for the stress I'm causing her. But yet no way of stopping it. She is questioning whether I'm looking after myself properly. And I kind of get why she's asking a question as I don't sleep properly. Often I'm the one shuffling around like an old man as I'm not feeling great. And that's the thing that hurt the most last night, hearing her description of me having aged 20 years over the past 2 years. And yet I can't argue with that. My last hospital admission resulted in me coming out with a zimmer frame because I couldn't walk properly. She's right at 43 years old to be shuffling around like an old man on a zimmer frame is just not sustainable. I wish I had an idea what to do how to to control my body and its response to this stress because I cannot see a solution that involves me reducing the stress I'm under on a daily basis. I have 4 kids I have a job a job that I love but it's stressful job all the same. I have responsibilities, I have things that people expect of me, I've things that must do. And yet I need something I need a way to cope and it doesn't feel like I know that way forward right now. Grits
Recovery is hard
by moonflowersystem
Last post
 May 30th
...See more Recovery so far has been up and down... But I think the worst part is the feeling of their hands.... hearing their words.... like I need someone to be with me or I completely shut down because during my abuse with my partners that sexually abused me they never left me alone! and I cant not be alone anymore..... I don't know how to fix that....
TW SA, also extremely long text
by sadCat7777
Last post
 May 23rd
...See more I want to mention beforehand, that I am currently in therapy. I am, like my boyfriend of 7 years, a survivor of child SA. We dealt with a lot of difficulties regarding our sexuality/ sex drive incompatibility since the beginning of our relationship. I used to be hypersexual (common coping mechanism trying to regain control), realizing later into the relationship that I’m actually asexual. This resulted in a lot of frustrations, misunderstandings and miscommunication on both sides (both people pleaser, I’m especially bad at setting boundaries and saying no, him having difficulties understanding my drastic change, feeling unwanted/rejected/ undesired). With time I also started to understand that being touched on my breasts was a trigger (this trigger developed over time). This was a very blurry and uncomfortable journey, due to me not quiet understanding it yet and my boyfriend not taking it as serious. Sometimes he would „jokingly“ suggest to touch them. I remember one incident, where, during a play fight, he held my arms and pretended to come closer to my breasts with his mouth. Back then I did not realise yet, what deep emotions this actually evoke in me. I was used to being touched, not only due to abuse but generally society, movies, growing up in a female perceived body, ifykyk. Setting boundaries and simply saying no was something that was automatically connected to shame, guilt and fear of rejection aswell as kind of being used to being ignored anyway. Despite all of that I finally managed to set a clear boundary, which my boyfriend did not take as serious till one day I ended up crying. I don’t know what led to that situation but I assume it was build up emotions. It was then, where he understood the seriousness of the situation regarding my breast and stopped touching them all together. Fast forwards a year later, he accidentally touched my breasts,which all of the sudden triggered extreme emotions. By that time I was way more confident in setting boundaries and all in all more aware of abuse I was facing in different relationships. It was in this situation, where I realized that my boyfriend sexually assaulted me. I confronted him with my memories, experiencing a mental breakdown and shock. He also was shocked, assured me that he never wanted to hurt me and never intended his touch in a sexual manner but more as a joke, back then not understanding the seriousness. He apologised and took full responsibility of his actions, and encouraged me to talk to someone about it (I was ashamed and scared to put him in a bad light). He also assured me, that if I were to break up, he would help me financially as well as with my moving situation. All in all, he was very supportive. He is now in therapy and we also went to couples therapy. My therapist explained to me, that through that event was now experiencing repressed trauma from my childhood that was „opened“ with the now new trauma on top. This is when the *** actually dropped, I went through ***. Flashbacks, repressed shame, anger, anxiety, pain, sorrow. Our relationship is doing amazing, better than ever, I love him deeply and I got better but I still feel a lot of shame. Shame for deciding to forgive him especially because I am not willing to forgive my father for the SA. I feel like a hypocrite. Some days (like today) are especially hard. I feel so much anger, while at the same time not allowing myself to feel it. I just don’t know how to fully feel it, cause when I feel it, I feel shame and anger for deciding to stay. I love him deeply, no other person has known me that long, been with me through so much darkness, no one else makes me feel so welcomed. I’m an extremely controlled person, masking my neurodivergence all the time and no one makes me feel so free to simply be myself, comfortable, makes me feel fully accepted and loved, without question. With no one I can think out loud without actually thinking, just existing. He literally is my favourite person. This is why it hurts even more. Everyone who meets us always tells me afterwards how they see us as an aspiring goal, something they want to achieve, their „favourite couple“ which puts me under even more pressure. I feel more ashamed, like I’m carrying around a dark secret that no one is supposed to know, because of my deep urge to protect him. I don’t want anyone to think bad of him, at the same time I feel like a phony, a pretend, fake. It’s like a constant after-thought in the back of my head, my mind, always there, even if very quiet. Feeling like a hypocrite, I constantly feel like I have to justify my decision and I don’t even know why and to whom. I constantly feel like I owe the whole world an explanation, having to defend myself, like everyone out there could see through me and immediately spot this dark secret. „Look at her, so weak, what does that say about her staying with someone who did that to her?“. I feel constant pressure, such a heavy weight but especially shame. Shame for not leaving, shame for staying, shame for deciding to forgive. I’m exhausted. I feel like im betraying someone, maybe myself. Today I'm simply very very sad. Ironically, when I chose my name sadcat I didn't know that it would get shortened to SA which is kind of unfortunate considering the topic I chose to talk about lol. Today is a very difficult day for me and I'm so tired of feeling so alone in this. I dont feel like I can talk to anyone except my therapist. I don't know anyone with similar experience and I yearn so desperately for someone to relate to, someone who would understand, maybe went through the same without my deep fear of being judged. I am genuinely just so extremely sad and then I am angry at him for having done something that now puts me through such an emotional dilemma. I assume to experience dissonance, which I just seem to not be able to resolve. I'm angry because he did it and I'm angry because he is taking accountability and I'm angry because I I appreciate him for taking accountability. I am angry and sad and disappointed and exhausted.
Major Trigger Warning| Vent about S/A
by TheGambitSystem
Last post
 May 12th
...See more Hello, Callie, host of the system here. Just here to say this: Content Warning. Mentions of sexual assault, domestic violence, drugs, and self-harm. Some readers will find this disturbing. Reader discretion is advised.  Last night, 5/6/24, I had a very very vivid nightmare of something that happened to me approximately five years ago. As some of you may know, my parents are divorced, and both were abusive. Common, but that is the sad truth. Let me take you back to my point of view.  Imagine you are only twelve years old. Your home isn't feeling like home anymore. The screams and accusing yells echo through the house. You cling to your favorite stuffed animal as the tears run down your face and you hide in the one place they cannot reach. Suddenly, it is quiet. You hear footsteps coming towards you, and you panic. They pause at your door. Your heart pounds, hoping you are not about to be hit and slapped and used as a punching bag again. The footsteps turn and walk away. You exhale a shaky breath, only for fear to grip you as you hear the outraged screams of your 'mother' as your 'father' becomes violent. You cannot take it anymore. In a moment of naivety, you scurry to your closet and grab the hidden laptop. You pull up the site where you have made an adult friend. Quickly, you message him, asking if he can pick you up. You know he will say yes, and you know your parents will not miss you. He replies almost instantly. '👍' You smile. You can't wait to see him. Hurriedly, you pack a bag of things you might need, and wait for his headlights in the distance. When you see them, you climb down from the tree that is under your window, and run to meet him. You climb into his car, and you leave the abuse behind...if only for a few hours. But...he isn't who he seems. No. In fact, his face will haunt you for the rest of your life. He offers you a cup of water, which you gladly take. You chug it down, to young to know about drugs like sedatives. About 35 minutes later, you start feeling...strange. Suddenly, he pulls into a gas-station parking lot. He pulls you close, and starts to ... touch. You don't know how to feel, and suddenly, he has you under him.  I will spare you the details... they are not pleasant.  Afterwards, he drives you back home, and you are silent. You don't really know what just happened, but it hurt and you didn't like it. You tell him goodnight, and then climb back up your tree and into your bedroom. Suddenly, you feel...disgusting. You pull up the site, and block him, and then delete your account. You cry into your pillow, knowing you can't tell your parents. For the next five years, you keep it a secret...only for it to be discovered by them being told by someone you trusted.  Then, with a gasp...you wake up. It was just a nightmare.  ... Just a nightmare. Just a nightmare for you, reader, but not me. This nightmare happened.  -------------------------------------------- Tagging friends who might care: @BuddyWinte , @Harrypotterfanandbooknerd , @AdrienLovesYou23 , @NoahTheListener , @Maeeeeebae999 . Sorry if you got an unwanted tag and/or I triggered you. 

Trauma Support

Please note: blue text is hyperlinked.

Welcome to Trauma Support! We aim to provide a safe, empowering, inclusive, supportive and proactive community for trauma survivors to have the opportunity to begin healing from our experiences, in a non-judgmental environment. We also want to help spread awareness about trauma and its impact on individuals' lives while validating the members of this community, reducing the isolation many people feel. Therefore, trauma survivors as well as loved ones of them or people who want to learn about trauma are welcome here. 

What are the different forum topics for Trauma Support?

Bluelight, Medical & Veterans Trauma Support: Support for those who experience or witness trauma at work

Check-Ins & Prompts:  Regular check-ins and prompts, created by our leadership team

Child & Domestic Abuse: For people who have experienced child abuse, domestic abuse or even both

Coping with Attachment Difficulties: Help and support for people with attachment difficulties

Creativity Corner: A creative space for poetry, art, and healing and recovery quotes

Dissociation & Related Disorders: A place to discuss your struggles with dissociation and how it relates to your trauma

Introductions & Welcomes: Are you new to the Trauma Community? Share a little about yourself!

Journaling Stories: This area is for sharing your story or creating a diary

PTSD & Complex Trauma: Share stories and seek support for PTSD and complex PTSD

Resources: Share and seek resources here

Sexual Assault and Sexual Abuse: A place for those affected by sexual assault and sexual abuse

Trauma through Bullying: A place to seek support around the issue of suffering traumatic experiences as a result of bullying

Trauma through War: This section is there for people who have been impacted by war

Traumatic Loss: For survivors of traumatic loss of any kind

How can I help?

You can help us by simply responding to threads and sharing your story (if you're comfortable to). 

Alternatively, you may wish to join us as a Forum Leader. Check out this thread for more information.

In addition to that, you can take part in discussions or become a host for them.

Finally, you could also have a look at the posts of our trauma support sub-community writing team or even join it. 

Helpful Threads

Taglist: Do you want to stay up to date with our community? Then join our taglist to be notified for important posts.

Discussions: Here you can find out when the next discussion takes place.

Trauma Support Room Access: Find out how you can access the trauma support room here. The room is open during the discussions and on Sundays.

Masterpost: Within this thread, you can find a number of educative and supportive posts that our writing team has written.

Leadership Team: In this thread, you can get to know our leadership team.

Trauma Support FAQ

Are there any sub-community specific guidelines that we need to adhere to? 

- Yes, all sub-community specific guidelines can be found below and should be followed in addition to the general forum guidelines.

How can I give feedback or ideas to the leadership team?

- You can either pm audienta directly, use this form to contact the forum leaders, or this form for general feedback about the trauma support sub-community.

Help... I still have a question! 

You can ask your questions in this thread and someone will respond to you as soon as possible.

Community Guidelines

These are the Trauma Support Sub-Community Guidelines, which have been drawn up in addition to the 7 Cups main guidelines and are specific for the Trauma Support community:

  • Uphold and comply with the 7 Cups main guidelines
  • Respect everyone, members and listeners alike
  • Do not discourage/be unsupportive/blame/judge one another for their past
  • No graphic, in depth descriptions or pictures which could be triggering for others - in forums, chat and support session
  • Please always add a trigger warning if you believe your thread could be potentially triggering/harmful and/or contains one of the topics on this list. Also, please add a short topic description to the trigger warning (e.g. "Trigger Warning: Domestic Abuse) and if you're in a group support chat, wait a moment to see if everyone is comfortable with the topic. If not, agree on a time span during which the person who's not comfortable with the topic leaves the chat. Once they come back after this time span, change the topic.
  • Cursing not permitted and must be asterisked. (It is fine to vent and to express appropriate anger, but as curse words have often been used during abusive and traumatic experiences, we ask members and listeners to asterisk abusive/curse words to avoid triggering and upsetting members where possible and to maintain a respectful environment and to encourage positive and healthy expression of anger.)
  • Forums postings made by listeners and members should be transparent, made in English and should not be blocked out using colouring to disguise content of wording/messages sent between members/listeners, to maintain the safety of all users of the trauma sub community and to ensure all rules are being complied with.
  • Everyone is unique and their experiences are individual to them. Everyone’s experiences and how they think and feel about these are valid. Everyone reacts to traumatic experiences differently. This will be respected and appreciated without judgement.
Read the 7 Cups Guidelines
Community Leaders
Community Mentor Leader
@audienta
Chatroom Moderator
@InsightfulPhoenix
@Kieran000
@WillingToHelpU