Day 9 Cultivating Optimism: Turning Difficult Moments into Opportunities
Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. This post is part of the 25 Days of Gratitude, Self-Care, and Personal Growth event at 7 Cups!
Let's dive in! Life has its challenges. Therefore problem is the path, obstacle is the way. If you take away all the time spent dealing with problems, you will realize that is most of life removed. Therefore it is important to learn to tackle challenges in a way where we don’t wait for life to start after dealing with a specific problem or set of problems. I am reminded of this quote often when I am once again tempted to spend life hoping for a better day to start living.
“How strange it is, our little procession of life! The child says, "When I am a big boy." But what is that? The big boy says, "When I grow up." And then, grown up, he says, "When I get married." But to be married, what is that after all? The thought changes to "When I'm able to retire." And then, when retirement comes, he looks back over the landscape traversed; a cold wind seems to sweep over it; somehow he has missed it all, and it is gone. Life, we learn to late, is in the living, in the tissue of every day and hour.” ― Stephen Leacock
This perspective is important because it helps us appreciate the value of optimism. One skill that will take you far in life is practicing optimism, not to be mistaken with toxic positivity. Optimism is a balanced approach that acknowledges challenges while focusing on potential positive outcomes. Toxic positivity, however, dismisses or suppresses negative emotions, pushing for a “positive vibes only” mindset that can make people feel invalidated. While optimism is realistic and accepting, toxic positivity ignores the full range of human experience.
I am reminded of another quote, this one by Mark Twain
'I've suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.'
Having an optimistic perspective, ensures you are not borrowing grief from the future. Maybe the thing you are worrying about will not turn out as bad as you are thinking or maybe it will but regardless of what happens, what good will worrying do? Optimism frees you of this excessive trouble and it gives you hope, giving you some relief.
Changing perspective requires hard work and more importantly consistent work. Here are some ways you can retrain your brain to think more positively
- Keep a gratitude journal, and write down three things that went well every day, no matter how small
- Learn about cognitive distortions and how they are impacting your life. We have a series on it, you can access it here.
- Keep yourself busy! I am not saying that you should stop resting but it helps to have yourself engaged in meaningful activities so that you don’t have so much free time to ruminate about all that can go wrong.
- Focus on what lies in your control
- Consistently read self-help books (Even a few lines every day, start small if you must)
Optimism is a skill that I am still working on. Personally, self-help books have helped tremendously. I recommend starting there if you feel a bit lost.
Questions for you
- What helps you cultivate optimism?
- What is one-way practicing optimism has helped you?
Book recommendations
- Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday
- Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
- How to stop worrying and start living by Dale Carnegie
Additional resources
How to Worry Less and Not Panic
@Hope
What helps you cultivate optimism?
Remembering how far i've come and how things usually turn out way better (or at least less painful) then i expect almost every time.
What is one-way practicing optimism has helped you?
Sometimes it gives me the little boost i need to get up and do something, especially if it's something i've been putting off for awhile because of anxiety etc. "ok, you've been in this place before, you waited months before doing something and then it took five minutes and didn't hurt at all. just don't get, get up and do it." has been my mantra many times, and it works more often then it doesn't
@SummerOfCA
whoa, i have no idea what in the world i did to get it to format that way @.@ sorry everyone who read this
@SummerOfCA
I fixed it up for you!
@SummerOfCA
i love your insightful responses! I really resonate with remembering how far you've come. it's how i put things into perspective when life gets rough. i've survived every day up to now and i can keep on doing it.
What a fantastic post, Hope!
I am absolutely a positivity and optimism fan!
Here are my answers to the questions you posed:
What helps you cultivate optimism?
I like to remind myself that I am the one that can improve my day,
I also like to focus on what I can do instead of what I can't do.
What is one-way practicing optimism has helped you?
It has helped me have a more easier time dealing with challenging times,
I am also able to remain calm when I'm in difficult situations,
I also want to say that using regular self-care has helped me a lot.
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That's actually a pretty insightful content to read! Was a great treat! Thank you for sharing this!! 💫💫
Coming to the first question, Optimism is all about never giving up and knowing that everything might not be good but there is something good in everything!!
I usually try to delineate the circle of control and the circle of influence for me to find out what I can control and what I cannot. That gives me a better clarity and helps me know whether there's really any problem or not!
I then, try to release my emotions and allow myself to feel the way I want to! There's a point that occurs where we turn our breakdown into breakthrough!! And let us open our wings wide! I then, switch to consuming good input, an inspirational podcast, self improvement books etc.
And then analyse the situation better!!
Optimism has made my instincts stronger I believe! It keeps me unaffected to pessimistic opinions and stimulating environments
@resilience2025
I appreciate your response, resilience, and your especially your reminder to consider what is really in our control. If we don't recognize whatever is or isn't within our control, we might end up just banging our head against a wall. That would lead to a lot of discouragement and hopelessness - the very opposite of optimism. I think you're right that when we act from knowledge about what we can and can't control, even when we don't like what that is, we empower ourselves, and that feeds optimism.
Absolutely agreeable!! :)))
And I hope that right intellect strikes all of us at the right time when we need it!!😊🌻
@Hope For me I find Meditation and Mindfulness helpful. The Positive Psychology course, I took, a few years back, was helpful.
@Hope HI, thanks for all of this, that's a lot <3
"It's better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right.”
—Another Quote by Mark Twain.
@Hope
Thank you for this great post and the book recommendations as well as resources.
- What helps you cultivate optimism? I always look back at life, at all the challenges I survived and tell myself "You got this one too!"
- What is one-way practicing optimism has helped you? Optimism has helped me in many ways, has kept be alive and helped me to grow.
@Hope
- What helps you cultivate optimism?
for use God word helps use seeing that within many places show not to worry and all but to stay positive about life. to look at the good in life too
- What is one-way practicing optimism has helped you?
for us we try to look at all the good in life. when we have to look at problems to see what different out come could be too. not just the all negative ones.as we believe that in everything one has there hidden blessings. this helped a lot when we was losing our kids to government. for us this was not always the case either. we use to go to the worst thing that could happen ad believe that would happen. but now we not do that as much. this has changed us a lot and how we face things in life. also whe doing this we fid we enjoy life more.
@Hope
What helps you cultivate optimism?
@Hope
Here are a few of my thoughts in response to yours:
I think of optimism in similar ways. The way I’d put it is that it’s a sense of hope that is relative to someone’s circumstances and capabilities. I think people generally see it as an ability to anticipate positive future outcomes accompanied by a positive mood. I’d agree with that, but I think there can be additional ways optimism might surface. It’s not just that optimism leaves space for feeling bad (which I agree it does) it’s possible to make optimistic, hopeful decisions while feeling bad. We might not realize that we’re doing it, and it might even look like pessimism, but I think there’s more going on. When someone feels horrible and considers therapy, for example, even choosing to be open to it means they see a potential positive outcome. There’s hope and movement in that. It might not seem like a lot to some people, but it may be a lot for that person, and I think that’s pretty important.
Recognizing optimism in practical terms matters. It can help us to observe ourselves and others more clearly and with less judgment. There’s a difference between things feeling bad and being bad, and sometimes we know this better than we think we do. If we pay attention, I think we can actually learn from our own behavior that maybe we have more hope than we think. That can give us an opportunity to focus on that hope over a path of feeling worse. Beyond that, recognizing optimism in functional terms helps us just to name it for what it is. We don’t have to be cheerful, upbeat, excited, or pretend we feel anything other than what we do in order to recognize the hope or optimism we have inside. We don’t have to compare ourselves to anyone. We don’t have to judge ourselves according to any external definition or pressure. If we can do this for ourselves, we can also offer the same to the members we chat with. We don’t have to judge anything for them. All we have to do is reflect their behavior and choices to them with this in mind. Sometimes it seems that people find this as useful to them as I find it useful to myself.
I really appreciate, Hope, your bringing up toxic positivity. I completely agree that blanket positivity, without encouragement of other emotions/experiences, creates an atmosphere of denial and invalidation - even toward ourselves. It’s unhealthy and it’s certainly not a way to cultivate optimism. We’re whole human beings, after all. It’s natural to feel bad sometimes, and it’s ok. Being optimistic does not mean swallowing or denying emotions. It involves someone feeling empowered to respond to them in ways that work for them. I think that optimism functions to fuel us in that way to move toward the things we want or need. Figuring out ways to cultivate it, therefore, becomes really important.
That leads me to your questions:
Things that help me cultivate optimism:
Accepting my emotions and where I’m at. Observing/acknowledging what I’m actually doing vs. how I’m feeling. Cognitive behavioral therapy techniques that help me challenge negative thinking (the stuff that can erode hope).
How optimism serves me:
Helping me to make more proactive and positive choices for myself (and hopefully accept those of others).
