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stormieandpaws
40 48,422 M Crossing Mileposts 9
PathStep 19 Compassion hearts7,881 Forum posts422 Forum upvotes561 Current upvotes561 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2025 Member sinceOctober 15, 2024
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storm within
Poetry / by stormieandpaws
Last post
 Tuesday
...See more storm within lost within the storms the chaos  of the storm of life cycling within the darkness the storm winds blow us around we are like leaves within the storm round and round we go as the wind blows unseen to most is the storm within this storm is darkness and chaos  the things within the storm within are like a battle they within the storm within  as there no way out of the storm within thoughts be come like weapens they weapons fly around within the storm within no one see this storm within as  shame of the storm within keeps us quiet as a church mouse  the storm within rages on and one but the hope never lost hope and joy are not feelings the storm within can not destroy them the storm within will not be forever some day it will become like a quiet still lake but for now the storm within rages on
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Freedom from prison pit
Poetry / by stormieandpaws
Last post
 February 14th
...See more Freedom from prison pit prison of my own making when it was made it was needed but now it like a deep pit within the ground it seem like we are trapped that it dark within this prison others see us as joyful and brave but I see self as lost and forgotten the prison is deep I can not crawl or climb out of it the prison has became a place od isolation no one see this prison no one know the deepness of the prison hoping others will help me out of the prison the wounds are deep is why I here within the prison truth is like a burning flame that hurts us the prison pit is were I was kelp locked in a pit was what they wanted but they no longer there they can not hurt me any longer but now the prison is due to me as to trust is to take the rope to get out as one can not get out alone due to the pits to deep someone throw me a rope give me away out of this prison pit we made it but , they used it to keep control over me so they could hurt me more and more but now I am the prison keeper so I can be set free but only if I take the rope the rope that others hold the rope of freedom from my prison but will I be brave and take the rope or will I stay within this prison pit darkness does not have to be anymore can be lifted out of the pit into the light this light is true freedom it will set me free from them who hurt me it will take back control of my life but only I can do that by taking the rope offered to me so question is will I take the rope or stay within the prison pit think the rope is better then stay in the prison pit but the rope mean trusting others giving in to what I feel not numbing and using bad harmful ways to numb so lets try this new way this freedom by stormie
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walls
Poetry / by stormieandpaws
Last post
 Monday
...See more walls Walls all around they keep me traped within them try to be brave within the walls looking out from a small hole in the walls can I trust the ones outside the walls do I have to stay isolated can I let the walls fall around me prison made by me to keep me safe but now they trap me behind them now they keep me from others walls all around me this prison is very lonely it seem to hold me in the darkness help me Lord to get out of this prison that I made show me who to trust outside the walls lead me to others that can trust slowly the walls begin to fall the wounds of the past begin to heal as the walls fall away the loneliness is less no one outside the walls has ever seen the wounds within’ the walls were to keep me safe but now no need fort them as safe away from them who hurt me so new beginning has began walls can come down now will I allow them to come down because in that I be truly free yesterdays are no more so walls can come down slowly by stormie
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trigger warning birthday and death
Self-Harm Recovery / by stormieandpaws
Last post
 Monday
...See more today our birthday we hate birthdays due to sexual abuse on our birthdays as kid and also due to use to get birthday spanks and pinch to grow on but was more like a beating. well today little over 3 hours ago our one best friend called us her dad passed away today. this hit us very hard. due to we know her parents. so fighting thoughts of wanting to self harm to numb the feeling away right now. but we not want to give in to them either why we came online as we just not know what to do about the feeling we are feeling right now at all we will not call the hot line as we had issues with them in past big issues. we can not email counclor at community mental health as that not allowed. so we came online as thought that might help some. but this been hitting us hard since she called first time. it was only 60 min after her dad died and she found out only a few min before that. her parents go to another' state in winter so they not here were we live. also her son in rehab  right now due to binge drinking. so she been calling us we trying to do our best to support her too. we feel awful that we struggling with the thoughts of SH as we should not be. but am
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Lord I do not understand
Poetry / by stormieandpaws
Last post
 February 10th
...See more Lord I do not understand Lord I do not understand I do not understand why do people hurt the little ones do they not know do they they not know that little ones are blessings from You gifts from above gifts from above little one little ones are gifts from above Lord I do not understand I do not understand how come they hurt the little ones so badly do they not hear You Lord do they not hear You Lord cry for the little ones cry from the little one crying please do not hurt the little ones since I gave them to you as a blessings Lord I do not understand I do not understand but Lord I know that you love all the little ones that you cry for all them are hurting call them into Your arms call them into Your arms saying to every little I love you by lily
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LITTLE WARRIOR THAT I AM
Poetry / by stormieandpaws
Last post
 February 9th
...See more LITTLE WARRIOR THAT I AM Living in the war zone living in the war zone little warrior that i am this war that i am fighting is not a war of flesh and blood it is a spiritual war with in i have the best weapons and armor that my heavenly Father gave me living in the war zone living in the zone zone little warrior that i am when the battle gets to hard to fight when i am ready to give up my heavenly Father calls to me saying my child my child here am i come to me and i shall give you rest living in the war zone living in the war zone so i run into my heavenly Fathers arms for a time of rest and healing away from the war zone wound tired little warrior that i am safely in my fathers arm resting quietly in His loving arms away from the war that rages on for a time of peace ,rest and healing in my heavenly fathers arms am i but only for a time living in the war zone living in the war zone little warrior that i am when i am well rested and my wounds are healed i shell fight again back into the war zone back into the war zone in tile i hear my heavenly Father call me come again for a time of rest then i well run back into His arms again for a time of rest by lily
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trigger warning self harmed after long time not
Self-Harm Recovery / by stormieandpaws
Last post
 February 8th
...See more we went  few years self harm free but tonight we end up self harming just a very small cut but feel like end of the world to us right now not wanting to go back way use to be at all we know this was just a slip up but hurts a lot too we only just started feeling emotions from being numb a very long time the flooding of emotions getting to us a lot words from another here in chat also did not help was few days ago but it got us thinking in away that we a burden to others that we always not doing good that we less then others that we worthless to be heard and seen most them things been said to us over and over in our life we seem to be having a great battle inside with our thoughts a lot lately too see we live in high pain physically  24/7  with very little help from meds so ya we not doing well most the time and with trying to keep from self harming it a battle a lot angst  a unseen enemy  called physical  pain then add in this Sunday our birthday too were we was  sexually abused on that day was they said a birthday gift to us also physically  abused they said spanken and pinch to grow on but was more a beating and hard pinch from each of them too so fear even with us being safe is also here but also we feel we disappointed  others on here due to we did not reach out for help today we just ran off tried to handle the thoughts alone out of fear  of  comments being made that would hurt too so feeling shame guilt and  worthless right now the old words from abusers coming at us right now too sorry for everyone we disappointed too
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nightmare big trigger warning
Poetry / by stormieandpaws
Last post
 February 4th
...See more trigger warning sexual talk and other words i can say in a poem that not sure  we can say otherwise full of shame and ashamed too but want others to know the truth too even if they turn and run or say we deserved this too the ones we talking about in this are our brothers and a friend who went all the way that day  within Christmas break i was 7yr almost 8yr it was not first time they touched me in that way as that was when i was only 3yr but this time it was more nightmare Lost within the nightmare it carry me to places I do not want to be back into the room with them can not run for I am tied down do not know this morning would be this way they use their hands first but then things change so fast can not scream can not move fear take over with the pain not get what I done to deserve this thought brothers were to keep little sister safe not hurt them like this not take from them what is not to be so I lay in the wet bed unable to move every time we shut our eyes see this nightmare again keep asking why why did they take my childhood from me what did I do to make them hurt us so no one cared at all we just a girl not worth much boys are worth so much more they are what dad want to carry on their name girl are only for sex, having kids and taking care of men there duty is to server men some would say that all they good for so guess we learned that lesson younger then most girls put in our place as a young childhood taught what was expected of us we guess but then thrown away like yesterday trash good for nothing used and tossed we unsure what to do with this lasting nightmare as it from long ago but feel like it now they say time heal everything but is that true will this night mare ever go away others have but this one sticking around not sure why this one is maybe it is to go to the grave with us we not sure as feel like it will last forever flooded with the feelings now within the nightmare but to ashamed to let other know this what will they think of us will they turn away from us due to we like dirty trash not sure if they run away screaming from us in the nightmare that what we was told would happen if we told anyone they said all would say it what we was born for due to we only a girl we deserve this it our duty we was told but not sure we believe this anymore by stormie
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