Distortion 5. Emotional Reasoning
Hi everyone! Thank you for following our learning about cognitive distortions series. You have shown great courage by challenging your negative thoughts and putting in consistent effort to reframe your mindset. All this consistent work will pay off!
Today we will talk about another common cognitive distortion that can mess with our minds. It is called ‘Emotional Reasoning’ also known as ‘Feeling Driven Thinking’. Simply put it's a fault in our thinking where we rely on our feelings to decide if something is true, even when the evidence states otherwise. It does overlap with already discussed cognitive distortions such as mind reading and catastrophizing. Still, it's important to look at this alone as we need to understand that regardless of the intensity of our emotions, feelings alone don’t dictate whether something is true/false, right or wrong.
Example:
- You feel guilty because you had to cancel a meeting with a friend. You believe you did something wrong based on your feelings of guilt when in fact you had no choice but to cancel as you fell sick.
- You believe your teacher could never treat someone poorly as she is always nice to you. When in fact several people have stated experiencing unjust treatment.
- You suspect your partner is cheating on you but there is no clear evidence that can support this feeling
- You believe you are not worthy of a role, despite having done many projects with the skill set needed to complete this new role.
- You think no one cares about you as you feel lonely but people consistently reach out to you and make an attempt to include you in their events/meet-ups.
It is important to understand that your feelings are valid and there is plenty of room for you to sit with them. However, your feelings do not dictate reality. It's important to make this distinction that how you feel does not equal how it is! This empowers you to see the world beyond the lens of emotions open yourself up for more opportunities and avoid unnecessary heartbreak.
As always we will try to use facts/evidence to counter these strong thoughts and feelings so we can have a more neutral view of life.
📢Points of Action:
Find out your personal hit rate (how accurate your negative assumptions are), don’t just assume, look into your past and get an accurate percentage. (You can skip this if you recall this from our last post)
Counter your emotional thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience.
⭐After practicing this with at least one thought. Tell us about your experience with this exercise.
⭐ When was the last time you engaged in emotional reasoning and what likely was the truth of the situation based on facts/evidence?
Additional Resources
Emotional Reasoning
This post is part of the 'Learning about cognitive distortions series'. The series starts here!
I always feel guilty when I call in sick to work.. especially when the reason is not of a cold/fever.. but rather because I needed a break from work for mental health purposes.. But it seems that they don't really care.. I always felt there's a need to explain myself.. but according to other colleagues, we do not need to give any reasons, as it should be personal and confidential.. like the people at work does not have the right to ask us of our reasons..
@Hope
@Hope
Find out your personal hit rate (how accurate your negative assumptions are), don’t just assume, look into your past and get an accurate percentage. (You can skip this if you recall this from our last post)
ten percent
Counter your emotional thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience.
⭐After practicing this with at least one thought. Tell us about your experience with this exercise.
its a great experience!
⭐ When was the last time you engaged in emotional reasoning and what likely was the truth of the situation based on facts/evidence?
dad is awfully quiet today, he must hate me >>> he is just having a bad day and it doesnt have to do with me
@Hope
Really nice post
The last time was when I was thinking that my friend was bother because of me so that's why she didn't reply on my message while in fact: she was just broke her phone so she wasn't even able to use it 🤦♀️
@Hope
Counter your emotional thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience.
Emotional thoughts:
I feel so anxious when I have to give a presentation. Maybe I will do my presentation tomorrow or nex week( Procrastination)
Counter-positive thoughts:
I may feel a bit anxious before giving a presentation. That's alright. A little bit of anxiety is need for you to perform well. That's okay. Though I may feel anxious now, I will feel much relaxed and happy after giving the presentationa and maybe someone might benefit from it and may even ask a question or two.
⭐After practicing this with at least one thought. Tell us about your experience with this exercise.
I Feel much better and relaxed. I am getting the hang of it.
⭐ When was the last time you engaged in emotional reasoning and what likely was the truth of the situation based on facts/evidence?
Last month. I now realized the reason behind me procrstinating on giving my presentation. Avoidance. I was in fact avoiding that sitaution.
@Sparkle8888
That is a powerful realization. Your share made me wonder if you would benefit from our Conquering Anxiety series. You can check it out here.
@Hope
The last time I engaged in emotional reasoning was after a disagreement with a friend. I felt hurt and believed that the disagreement was a sign that things were falling apart. However, it turned out we both were feeling misunderstood and having an honest and open conversation cleared the air.
@Hope
Counter your emotional thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience.
I feel down because I was overly talkative when I think I should not have been. Versus... Just because I feel down about it, does not mean that was the case as everyone seemed okay with the amount I talked.
After practicing this with at least one thought. Tell us about your experience with this exercise.
I found it reassuring as it can be hard to see reality when emotions strongly suggest something else.
When was the last time you engaged in emotional reasoning and what likely was the truth of the situation based on facts/evidence?
Today! The emotions I had regarding my recent behavior made me question my goodness. I reassured myself that my feelings do not dictate my worth.
Sadly, I am guilty of emotional reasoning. I hate to admit it, but I just engaged in it the other day. I am an introvert. When people are "overly" nice to me, for some reason I think they have underlying motives. I don't think it's because I feel I am not personable or likeable, I just think it's because they want something from me. I think it's because of how I see people act in real life, so that's why I keep my circle small. I know emotional reasoning can have negative consequences, so I should do better to reframe from engaging in it. I will certainly try to do better now that I know what it is.
@YourCaringConfidant
It's understandable to fall into emotional reasoning, especially when past experiences shape how we interpret the actions of others. Recognizing this pattern is the first step toward challenging it. The fact that you're reflecting on it and looking for ways to improve shows great self-awareness. Keep practicing reframing those thoughts, and over time, it’ll get easier to separate feelings from facts.
@ Hope
thank you for your great work creating the series, it is very informative and helpful. Though I was aware of most of the cognitive distortions, this is the first time I take the time to sit down and see if the shoe fits, so to speak. Finding those specific situations in my own experience is showcasing how much these flawed patterns affect me.
I am struggling a little with emotional reasoning example as a little voice in my head keeps saying there is factual evidence to my reasoning. I know the voice might be wrong, just trying to justify my set perceptions.
So, i willgive it a try, perhaps, this time my example isn't on point but still...
Negative thought: I am feeling a little sad and unsettled today, it must mean that I know unconsciously that something wrong/negative is going on, I just need to look closer to find the reason (and I always do, my amazing mind is happy to oblige). Positive thought: the fact that I am feeling sad, alone or unhappy does not mean that I am actually alone, or that there is a reason for feeling sad, it might just be stress or weather, or the time of month.
⭐ When was the last time you engaged in emotional reasoning and what likely was the truth of the situation based on facts/evidence?
Not sure this goes under emotional reasoning, but still... I have this colleague with whom I and most other co-workers have a very strained relationship. He is quite a contraversial figure, famous for his very radical and conservative statements. So, when we have meetings and he suggests something, my first reaction is always rejection. I realise this is not always because of the value of his ideas, but because of my personal attitude to the person. I always have to force myself to think how I would react if someone else made this suggestion. And more often than not I realise that the idea itself is a good one, it is the source that I reject because my personal emotional response to him.
Not sure this is emotional reasoning, but that is what I came up with after some thinking.
@Healtogether702
Your example with your colleague is insightful; it's a great demonstration of how emotions towards a person can color the reception of their ideas. It’s important to keep working on separating the emotional response from the logical evaluation of the situation, as you've been doing. You're on the right track!
This does seem more like the labelling distortion but that is okay! Not all distortions will apply to everyone