Things no one tells you about Self-Harm: Trigger Warning
Everyone mentions the same things when they talk about self-harm. This is what I wish someone told me about self-harm before I fell into its tight gripping claws.
1) It's not only the cuts/bruises/burns/scratches that you have to hide. You have to hide the bloodied tissues, the used band-aids, the band-aid wrapper, and the thing you used to harm.
2) When you shower the dried blood drips out of your band-aid and down your body creating little dark red, almost brown, colored streams. It scares you at first because you think it's opened again.
3) It becomes an addiction. It becomes the only thing that helps.
4) It eventually doesn't help anymore but you keep doing it in the hope it will.
5) Your body will scar and at first, you will like it but eventually, you get sick looking at them.
6) On a bad day, you run out of space.
7) Your band-aids will soak through your jeans or top after a shower and make an obvious square or rectangle patch.
8) They start to smell bad if not looked after.
9) You constantly think about them.
10) Your sleep will hurt and every move you make will too when they are fresh. You act as you like it. You don't.
11) People will never take it seriously enough.
12) They itch like mad whilst they heal.
13) You eventually get frustrated if it has no effect.
14) You don't cry when you do it. You feel nothing. Not. A. Thing.
15) It's so so so hard to escape it.
16) It isn't beautiful. It isn't a fairy tale. It won't help you find love. It is a monster that ruins lives.
Please think of all these things before you hurt yourself. You don't want to. I sound like a hypocrite because I do but trust me, you don't want to fall down the dark hole that I and many other people are already in. Put down your fist, blade, lighter, cut your nail short, and get help.
@Jenna I relate strongly to this one:
"3) It becomes an addiction. It becomes the only thing that helps."
@Jenna I have never had as bad panic attacks as after I stopped cutting. Maybe it will help if I cut again I dunno.
@TheMadHatterWasHere
I can't say it would or wouldn't help, but I am sorry that stopping has been a negative thing for you. I hope you're able to find a healthier way to cope that is a lot more helpful.
@Jenna I wish I had a healthier way to cope honestly, but I don't.
@Jenna I only feel resentment and anger.
Thank you for your bravery and courageous words. It has almost been a life long battle for me and i am ever so tired of it. The addictive nature is the dangerous part.
If it helps anyone, anti histamines have helped me with the infernal itching. I truly hope that everyone can heal, physically, mentally and spiritually. You deserve only the best, Gentle hugs to everyone xxx
@sooty41
Hey there. I'm sorry that you have been battling this for so long. You're right the addictive nature is really hard to break. Thanks for the tip on the itching and what could help it. I hope one day you're able to defeat this. Hang in there.
@Jenna
Thank you and i wish the best for you too xx
@Jenna
I don't hide anything besides making sure my scars are covered when I'm in public.
for your tenth point, you can't know what another person likes. I actually do.
It makes me feel less alone.
@Jenna
I appreciate you posting this Jenna. We hardly talk about it and I am glad you remind us to think twice before drowning in this cycle of self-harm.
@Jenna I havent done that in almost 2 years. I thought I was ok. I still had urges and the desire to do it, but I never gave in. I started reducing my meds with orders from my psychiatrist and at first everything was fine. But then little by little it was like I was drowning again and all that could save me and aliviate the pain was to just do it... I havent yet because I promised my sister the last time it happened it would be the last (it was really bad that time)... So Ive been fighting it with all I have but its so hard... Im afraid I wont make it
@Jenna I have just come across this and it is so real and well written! A great piece for others to hopefully read before they fall down the hole we did..
I appreciate you <3
Thank you for this I recently started cutting and I’m trying to stop your post makes me feel a little less alone
i wish I had read this before I fell down the hole…