Building Self-Esteem Series: Self-Love letters
Hi everyone! Thank you for following our series and working on your relationship with yourself. I know it is quite the challenge but it's a big effort and a big reward exchange! The world treats us differently when we learn our worth and insist on upholding our standards.
These past 8 weeks we have been laying down the foundations on which we can stand and start to take more direct steps towards building our self-esteem. This specific exercise can feel challenging but if you have been following the series and have put in the foundational work then I believe you have what it takes to show yourself some wholehearted love and compassion. Even if this is the first post you come across, give it a shot! You may be surprised by this one.
Today we will be writing self-love letters!
It is a letter that you write to yourself, usually addressing yourself as you are a separate being. It will make sense in a bit!
Try to create a relaxed environment. Smell something calming, and make a soothing beverage. Try to find a private place and keep the tissue paper ready for the upcoming tears. It is perfectly normal to find yourself crying.
Talk to yourself as you would talk to someone you love wholeheartedly. Think of yourself as this dearest friend who you know intimately and want the best for. Here are a few things you can talk about:
- Note down how proud you are of all the work you have done. All the progress you have made.
- Highlight all the ways you are growing as a person or how life has improved
- Give reassurance for all the worries you hold. For example ‘I know you are worried that you will fail at X but remember when you thought the same about Y and that worked out Silly!’
- You can use any tone you like but it should be compassionate.
- Apologize to yourself for all the wrong you have done
- The letter can be pages long or a paragraph long. It can typed or written.
Example of how it can look like:
Dearest Me,
You work so hard, even when you feel unseen. I'm sorry for the harsh words I've thrown your way, for neglecting your needs. Remember how worried you were about moving to a new city? We faced it together, and just like with starting that new hobby, you came out the other side, braver and wiser. I know you have doubts and anxieties, especially about finding a stable job. But listen to me – you've overcome so much already. You have the strength, the resilience, and the kindness to navigate this too. Don't be so hard on yourself. Remember that laugh you have, the way it lights up your eyes? And your kindness, the one that extends even to strangers? Today, I want to celebrate those things. You are worthy of love, even from yourself. Maybe especially from yourself.
Your loving self,
(Your name)
Activity
Write a letter to yourself following the above instructions. Once done, read it and come back to this post. Answer the questions:
- How did writing the letter make you feel?
- How was the overall writing experience for you?
You are not expected to share your letter with us. If you are participating with a listener account, please be mindful of listener account boundaries when answering these questions. You can keep the answers general.
I encourage you to schedule the letter as a future email to yourself using email's scheduling service. It can be a nice gift for you from you! You are also encouraged to write one letter every day for 7 days. Somedays it will be a page, other days 3 lines and that’s okay. Whatever you write, you can keep scheduling for a future date. It can be a nice exchange of sending and receiving letters for yourself.
@Hope
- How did writing the letter make you feel? it made me feel like a weight was lifted off my chest.
- How was the overall writing experience for you? it was a very good experience overall!
@KateDoskocilova
Thank you for taking part in this activity with us!
@Hope
- How did writing the letter make you feel? I think that doing this exercise this time made me feel excited because I could see so much growth from the last time I did this exercise. I encourage everyone to keep the work you do because you. An always go back and compare things you have done in the past.
- How was the overall writing experience for you? this is an activity that I have done several times. And my growth has come in layers, much like the analogy of peeling back the layers of an onion. The overall writing experience wasn’t anything different when I have done this before. The only thing that was different was the growth and the words I put on paper. The experience of writing though was the same as before.
thank you @Hope for this entire series. I have grown a lot and I’ve really enjoyed participating.
@Kristynsmama
Feeling excited about your growth is a wonderful outcome. It's so true - looking back can be a great motivator. Love the onion analogy - growth often happens in layers. Keep writing and celebrating your progress!
I have to admit I had a hard time with this and had to take a step back. Fall back and regroup and look at everything alittle differently. I thought about one the other threads that's a part of the self esteem work we've been doing and I was willing to try. I'm pleased about that
It's helped me to see the things that I have accomplished. I can see the steps I've taken forward - the areas that there's been some growth. I'm may not be be where I want to be right now but I am moving in the right direction
@mytwistedsoul
Sounds like you took a great step back and regrouped! That takes courage. Glad you were open to trying. It's awesome to see the progress you've made and the direction you're moving in. Keep celebrating those steps!
2/3/2024🌼
@Apeatrice
It's tough to write those forgiveness words, but facing guilt with bravery is a big step. It's okay to have mixed feelings. Remember, mistakes are part of learning. Feeling proud of your decision shows growth!
@Hope
How did writing the letter make you feel?
Writing the letter made me feel a deep sense of confidence and happiness regarding myself. I felt a lot of warm feelings rising within me as the words were typed out. I could not stop myself from smiling!
How was the overall writing experience for you?
The overall writing experience for me was needed. I have been working on my self-esteem and this letter reflected that on a level I was not expecting. I have come far and I have a lot to be proud of.
@CordialDancer
Wow, a deep sense of confidence and happiness radiating through the screen! Sounds like a powerful experience. This letter clearly helped you see your progress and strength. Keep smiling and keep writing
@Apeatrice
Keep moving forward, one step at a time. You've got this
@Hope
This series has been an incredible journey, and writing the self-love letter was both challenging and liberating. It made me realize the importance of acknowledging my growth and celebrating the strengths I often overlook. The overall writing experience was cathartic, like a warm embrace from within. Thank you for guiding us through this transformative process. I've scheduled my letter as a future email a little surprise gift awaiting me. Excited to continue this practice for the next seven days💖
@intuitiveHickory85
Love that you embraced the challenge and discovered your strengths. Cathartic and a warm embrace - that's powerful writing. A future email surprise is a wonderful idea! So glad you'll keep this practice going. I am glad you are benefitting from the series!
@Hope Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your incredibly kind words! Your support means a lot to me. Embracing this challenge was indeed a cathartic experience, and discovering my strengths in the process was both empowering and enlightening.The idea of a future email surprise resonates with me, and I'm excited to continue this practice. Your encouragement fuels my motivation to delve deeper into this journey of self-discovery and growth. Grateful to have your positive energy along the way!
I wrote the letter to myself. It was a real struggle. I found it hard to feel authentic saying it to myself from myself. I found myself needing to pretend like it was someone else who just happens to have similar problems in order to have some distance so that the words and compassionate feelings could come to mind, to break through the discomfort. I did find the forgiveness part somewhat relieving. It was helpful to reflect on worries that turned out to be not the case. The overall writing experience was a challenge.
@Zeraphim
I find it interesting how you changed perspective to be able to write the letter. Just out of curiosity... now that you've done the exercise once would you be able to do it again but this time writing it to yourself?
@Aputik I wrote it as if I were a separate person, addressing it to myself as the instructions outlined. I needed distance, because I am often overwhelmed with turmoil. It sounds counter intuitive, but it helped me connect better to let some of the words through to myself with this approach, rather than trying to find words to say directly, from within that turmoil where it feels like false, forced words.
I don't know if I could do it any other way than how I did it for now. Perhaps some day, that will be different.
@Zeraphim
Perhaps it will! I'm glad you found your own way to writing the letter
This isn't the first time I write to myself. It always feels enlightening and warm. I always feel loved by the end of it, proud and forgiven for the things I've always criticized myself for. This time was mostly thought of for my teenage self and it was marvelous.