Building Self-Esteem Series: Self-Love letters

Hi everyone! Thank you for following our series and working on your relationship with yourself. I know it is quite the challenge but it's a big effort and a big reward exchange! The world treats us differently when we learn our worth and insist on upholding our standards. 

These past 8 weeks we have been laying down the foundations on which we can stand and start to take more direct steps towards building our self-esteem. This specific exercise can feel challenging but if you have been following the series and have put in the foundational work then I believe you have what it takes to show yourself some wholehearted love and compassion. Even if this is the first post you come across, give it a shot! You may be surprised by this one. 

Today we will be writing self-love letters! 

It is a letter that you write to yourself, usually addressing yourself as you are a separate being. It will make sense in a bit! 

Try to create a relaxed environment. Smell something calming, and make a soothing beverage. Try to find a private place and keep the tissue paper ready for the upcoming tears. It is perfectly normal to find yourself crying. 

Talk to yourself as you would talk to someone you love wholeheartedly. Think of yourself as this dearest friend who you know intimately and want the best for. Here are a few things you can talk about:

• Note down how proud you are of all the work you have done. All the progress you have made. 
• Highlight all the ways you are growing as a person or how life has improved
• Give reassurance for all the worries you hold. For example ‘I know you are worried that you will fail at X but remember when you thought the same about Y and that worked out Silly!’
• You can use any tone you like but it should be compassionate.
• Apologize to yourself for all the wrong you have done
• The letter can be pages long or a paragraph long. It can typed or written. 

Example of how it can look like:

Dearest Me,

You work so hard, even when you feel unseen. I'm sorry for the harsh words I've thrown your way, for neglecting your needs. Remember how worried you were about moving to a new city? We faced it together, and just like with starting that new hobby, you came out the other side, braver and wiser. I know you have doubts and anxieties, especially about finding a stable job. But listen to me – you've overcome so much already. You have the strength, the resilience, and the kindness to navigate this too. Don't be so hard on yourself. Remember that laugh you have, the way it lights up your eyes? And your kindness, the one that extends even to strangers? Today, I want to celebrate those things. You are worthy of love, even from yourself. Maybe especially from yourself.

Your loving self,

(Your name)

Activity

Write a letter to yourself following the above instructions. Once done, read it and come back to this post. Answer the questions:

• How did writing the letter make you feel? 
• How was the overall writing experience for you?

You are not expected to share your letter with us. If you are participating with a listener account, please be mindful of listener account boundaries when answering these questions. You can keep the answers general. 

I encourage you to schedule the letter as a future email to yourself using email's scheduling service. It can be a nice gift for you from you! You are also encouraged to write one letter every day for 7 days. Somedays it will be a page, other days 3 lines and that’s okay. Whatever you write, you can keep scheduling for a future date. It can be a nice exchange of sending and receiving letters for yourself. 

This post is part of the Building Self-esteem series! You can find all the posts of the series linked here.