Anti-bullying Awareness Month: Understanding Bullying
Hello everyone,
I hope you are taking it easy on yourself. November is Anti-Bullying Awareness Month and I wanted to bring it up as it affects many individuals, especially teens. Bullying can have a significant impact on a person's mental and emotional well-being, and it is essential that we all work together to understand and stand for it.
As you all may know, bullying comes in various forms, such as physical, verbal, relational, and cyberbullying. It can happen at school, in the workplace, or even online. Please know that no one deserves to be treated poorly or made to feel inferior. It is our responsibility to create a safe and inclusive environment for everyone.
Understanding bullying is the first step towards combating it effectively. Many people mistakenly believe that bullying is just a part of growing up or that it toughens individuals. But, bullying can cause lasting psychological damage and have severe consequences for those who experience it.
To understand the impact of bullying, take a moment and put ourselves in the shoes of those who have experienced it. Imagine feeling constantly anxious and fearful, dreading going to school, working every day, or reaching out online to share and get support. Visualize the emotional distress of being ridiculed, invalidated, or excluded simply for being unique and different. Such experiences can lead to low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and other mental health challenges.
Bullying is not a problem that can be overcome overnight but we can take our small steps to make progress by raising awareness and fostering empathy. It is important to educate ourselves and others about the signs of bullying and to recognize and intervene when we witness it. With everyone’s efforts, we can promote kindness, respect, and acceptance, we can create an environment where bullying has no place to exist.
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So, I would like to open up the discussion to all of you. Have you ever witnessed or experienced bullying? How did it make you feel, and how did you handle it?
- Also, join group chats and discuss bullying as part of your experiences or in general with everyone this month. And when you do it, let us know in this post!
Please feel free to share your thoughts, experiences, and suggestions. Also, feel free to tag your friends. Let’s make a difference and create a world where bullying has no place.
I’ve been physically, emotionally and mentally, and verbally bullied. I have been bullied for many different things some that are for the fact I’m disabled. I want to put a stop to bullying so much because it really impacted me.
@Stitchlover17 I am so sorry to hear about the bullying you hve experienced, Stitch. That must have been incredibly difficult to go through both physically and emotionally. How does it make you feel now looking back on those experiences? Please know we are all here with you to listen to and to support.
It was really hard and looking back it doesn’t bother me anymore, it’s really shaped me into the person I am today and I’ve grown from it, I could care less about what others say because I am who I am and I’m proud of that.
@Stitchlover17 hmm, I am glad to hear you feel you've grown as a person. it sounds like you have come a long way and learned many valuable lessons through your experiences. What strengths have you discovered in yourself that help you feel proud today?
Also I appreciate all your compassionate support in the group chats to everyone.
I’ve overcame any obstacles that have been hurled at me and I’ve always gotten up when I was knocked down by life.
@Stitchlover17 You have definitely demonstrated great strength and resilience in overcoming obstacles that life has presented. You got this stitch. Any tips or advice to others who probably experiencing bullying?
If anyone on here has ever experienced being bullied I’m sorry for one and two don’t take it personal, people are just upset with their own problems and can’t manage their emotions and feel they have to take it out on other, so don’t take it personally. You are more than enough despite if others say different. 💕
@Stitchlover17 huggs stitch ❤ thankyou sweetie ❤ you are an amazing person ❤
@ASilentObserver
Thank you for sharing this. I did not know it was anti-bullying awareness month.
I was bullied through 3rd til I graduated high school. It was truly difficult and eventually impacted my mental health/well-being.
@heathermarie95 I am so sorry to hear about your experiences with bullying. It takes courage to share that. Your feelings of impact on your mental health and well-being are understandable. How difficult it must have been to endure for so many years. Also, if I can ask, what helped you cope during that time?
@heathermarie95 children can be so cruel😞 I'm sorry sweetie, gives you a giant tiny hug ❤
@ASilentObserver
This is a great topic. I wish we could also discuss how bullies feel and what brings them to bully others?
@Fradiga Absolutely, Fradiga. Thank you for bringing up that perspective. Exploring different sides can often lead to greater understanding. I am open to hearing that side too and welcome everyone to share their experiences and thoughts
@ASilentObserver
I find that some bullies are just..... casual because they do not realize the impact on others or can't imagine what it feels like. They are not just school bullies.
If we want to work on those who are bullied, it is even more important to work on the bullies themselves.
@Fradiga yeah, you never know what a person might be going through, so you shouldn't really judge anyone. But there are some people who are pure evil. It's a really hard question!
@ASilentObserver my owners were bullys 😞 and they made me disabled and saves every where, missing limbs. bad people made me this way and now people laugh and stare at the way I look. It's not fair, or nice
@Tinywhisper11 I'm so sorry to hear about your difficult experience. The feelings of unfairness and lack of control must be so hard to bear. I understand this is a difficult situation to find yourself in through no fault of your own. What matters most to you in dealing with how others see you now?
@ASilentObserver I'm just very embarrassed by the way I look. How my carers have to do pretty much everything for me now. I'd love to be accepted just the way I am
Sorry to hear that Lola. Sending you a big hug. ❤️
The people who judge you don't know you're a warrior. You've survived such hardships. Your scars are marks of your strength. And even after all of this, you're such a warm person.
Your appearance don't define you Lola, your heart does. I know how it feels but I want to tell you that you've a lot beyond what they can see. ❤️
There's a Hindi song I love. Here's the translation that I'm leaving for you to read -
This crazy, crazy world,
reads people like newspapers only.
I wish they see a little beyond bodies too,
that they see a bit behind what is said too.
So much is written,
that is hidden, unread,
which is not seen,
that the world couldn't see.
You are like yourself,
I'm like myself.
Why would anyone be like you and me?
You are like yourself,
I'm like myself.
there are smiles like shining paper
on my lips.
as if it's a meaningless balm
on these wounds.
we aren't able to laugh really,
nor can we cry openly.
what's our problem,
why don't we become what we really are?
you are alive because of your dreams,
and I'm alive because of my dreams.
why do we have to care about the deceitful world.
there is something special, something great,
in you, do you know that?
one, you are friends with truth,
and second, patience is your friend.
You are like yourself,
I'm like myself.
Why would anyone be like you and me?
You are like yourself,
I'm like myself. ❤️
@Yougotmyback 😭😭 thankyou ❤❤ hugggs you tightly ❤❤ I love you thankyou for translating it for me ❤ you know what. You are you and I am me ❤ and together we are awsome people. We both deserve love and kindness 🤗🤗 thanks sweetie ❤
Aww loveee youuu moreeeeee!!!! ❤️❤️🌸
And yes, we totally deserve love and kindness. We will give that to ourselves and spread the extra hehe:p
🫶❤️
I was bullied throughout middle school, the worst 3 years of my life. I lost the only friends that I had because they began hanging out with new people. I started getting bad marks because I didn't know how to adapt to the new environment, and having been "gifted" in primary school I needed to find a good method of studying new things. And also, during the age of body changes, I had no idea of how to properly take care of myself. But no one seemed to realize how bad I was feeling. Most teachers couldn't care less, and one of them actually contributed to the bullying. I kept sending signals to the adults in charge, both my teachers and my parents, but they all turned a blind eye, or told me that my classmates were right to bully me because I sucked at sports and made my team lose a volleyball match. And the worst thing is that I was attending a private school run by nuns, where we would pray every day and sing hymns that said things like, "I'll walk towards God together with my brother, who feels like nobody loves him", but five minutes later someone would call me awful names. I kept wondering how God could allow all that. And I kept praying, "Hey God, if you're there, either you change my life for the better, or you take it back. I can't live like this."
I thought things would be better in high school, but apparently some of the same problems I had had in middle school showed up again. And my classmates, instead of helping me, kept talking behind my back for 5 years. I asked them for help because my parents kept comparing me to the smartest girl in my class, and I was suffering because of that, and I was told to shut up because my mere existence had made my classmates' lives *** for the past 5 years.
Now I have almost no contact with those people. I moved abroad and I have a full time job. My life is so much better now. But sometimes I still panic whenever I have to meet new people because I keep thinking that secretly they hate me. I shower every single day before work, and if I don't I panic. I almost broke down once because I got out of work late and I needed to stay at my aunt's house, but I didn't have a change of clothes, so I kept thinking about how my colleagues would have thought I was disgusting if they had seen me with the same clothes two days in a row. I appreciate every single compliment that people say to me, but deep inside I don't believe a word they say. Whenever I meet someone, I can't stop wondering when they will realize that I'm actually an awful person, and they'll leave just like everyone else. I hate taking selfies, and I can't look at myself in the mirror without thinking "ew, that sucks". It's been almost 20 years, and I still suffer the consequences of what has been done to me. I tried to forget that period as much as I could, but the weight of those words and actions is still engraved in my mind.
@sweetmikayla 😢I'm so sorry sweetie 😢 bless you. The impacts of bullying is terrifying in its own. But with no parent or adult to comfort you, just adds to the trauma. I'm so glad your away from theese people ❤ please know you are beautiful and the most perfect you, there could ever be. Gives you a giant tiny hug ❤
@sweetmikayla It sounds like those school years caused a lot of pain that still affects you today. I can understand why the bullying and lack of support would undermine your self-esteem. Your feelings of low self-worth and panic around social situations make sense, given what you went through. You have made it through so much and shown such strength in building a better life for yourself.
@ASilentObserver Thanks for this post on a very important topic.
One of the things that we are taught about bullies is that often they do not realize they are actually a bully!
They may actually not realize that their actions are unacceptable. Depending on their upbringing some forms of bullying can be commonplace in their home and as they have to endure they just assume others will.
They may use excuses such as ‘Oh it’s just a bit of fun’, ‘Oh I thought you liked it’, ‘I didn’t mean any harm, no-one was hurt’ and lots more.
- Often making a bully aware is the hardest thing to do, but it can really change the situation, especially if we don’t use the word ‘bully’ when we speak out.
- Simply saying firmly ‘I do not like that, so stop doing it please’ can help to shed light on their actions being unacceptable.
- Telling a teacher or trusted adult can sometimes make things worse unless they are correctly trained in anti-bullying tactics. Often they may try and approach the bully and tell them off. They may try and shame the bully, and worse bring you up to them and ask the bully to apologize which only raises the anger and frustration levels and can lead to even worse bullying once the adult has left.
So what to do?
Stay calm - Try and breathe calmly and focus on yourself
- Stay Safe - Try and plan ahead so that you are as safe as possible.
- Avoidance - so that you are not in the same contact, choose another route, stay with friends, turn off your phone, don't check social media
We all want to STAMP OUT BULLYING and together we can do so!
Listening - One Step At A Time!
@MistyMagic well said ❤❤❤
@MistyMagic It seems bullying is a complex issue with no simple answers. Focusing on open communication and ensuring safety are wise approaches. What feelings come up for you in trying to address these situations?
@ASilentObserver
Feelings of anger and frustration at first until I learnt more about the situation and let my training come forwards. I have never liked to see, or hear about others being bullied. Sometimes a warm hug can do wonders and show that the bullied victim is not alone. Other times just listening and helping them work through why, when, how.
Feelings fade but memories may stay forever, being triggered from under the surface by seemingly simple things. So it is always best to consider and stop the bullying.
Sometimes ganging up on other people I’ve been told about but others have went through it the right way by submitting reports, also favouring one side can make some feel like they are being picked on. I’ve also experienced that when you make others try to be mindful of other peoples potential triggers they can fire back even if you do validate exp. ❤️So really mixed exp - there is good and bad
@GoldenRuleJG It sounds like there have been both supportive and challenging interactions for you. How did those experiences make you feel?
Challenging situations can feel exhausting if there is blame going on even where you have held yourself accountable and some can feel helpful if it’s to clear misunderstandings.
communication most of the time is bidirectional
Where necessary when you are in a more calmer mood better to resolve situations as best as you can.
The good is good when there is credit given where due and people are checking in with each other in terms of progress , well-being. A simple how are you feeling etc goes a long way even if taking it aside in pms . This warms my heart when many do this - thank you for looking out for listeners as much as you look out for members. ❤️
Thank you Obs for opening this topic, it's really important that we work on it as a society to prevent bulying as much as possible.
I was bullied the second half of my elementary school and the whole high school. I the elementary I was also beaten and had to change the school twice in the last two years as a result. I sometimes get cyberbullied but I learned to deal with it and set healthy boundaries.
The bullying at school caused me significant stress and anxiety and lowered my self esteem and significantly added to my self-hate. I had and still experience fear of people and making a contact (I am 38). I learned to deal with it through the years and I am able to talk with unknown people and look cool doing it but it is not natural for me. It is a learned skill and I had to work very hard to learn it. And it still requires a lot of energy to practice.
As a mom I can't help thinking about how will my two daughters be able to deal with bullying when it comes. How could I help them to overcome it, how would I support them and prevent it from happening? I def don't want the same happen to them
@mish3l God bless you ❤ it's really terrible to go through such things. I'm sorry it had such a devastating effect on your life😞 gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤squeezes you tightly
@Tinywhisper11 thank you Tiny, it is admirable how you can still support others despite of what you've been through. Hugs you back ❤️❤️❤️🤗
@mish3l ❤❤❤
@mish3l Thank you for sharing your experiences with bullying. It sounds like it has had a significant impact on you over many years. I am encouraged by your strength in learning social skills and setting healthy boundaries. As a mother, it's natural to worry for your daughters. Their well-being is so important. How have you found ways to be kind to yourself as you continue healing from those experiences?
@ASilentObserver Hi Obs! Thank you for your supportive words ❤️
At high school I learned mstriall arts, it gave me a lot of confidence. I almost got a black belt in Taekwon-Do. It helped a lot with my fears.
Also University and finding the right people there who were nerds like me, accepting me for who I am - that made me learn to accept myself too, to be proud of who I am. I still struggle with self-love though, I am learning to be kind to myself only recently. It was never something that I knew as being normal to practice, my mom and the elementary school taught me the opposite.
@mish3l Thank you for sharing your experiences with finding confidence through martial arts and accepting yourself through university and supportive friends. It sounds like those helped build strength and community for you. How have you found the process of learning self-kindness?
@ASilentObserver I don't know 🤔 Weird? I would describe it as weird. It's weird for me to love myself, to be kind to myself, to even accept myself. I always used to be hard on myself, repeating my mother's toxicly perfectionstic approach and I thought it was all right, that it's how life should be. Until I found out it isn't.
But with time I think it gets less and less weird, the edges get less rough. So maybe one day I will learn to love myself instead of just accepting myself. I love some parts of me but not all of them, I still haven't learned that. But I guess that's why it's called a "path" 🤷♀️
I was around 6-7 years old when I saved a girl from bullying. She was bullied due to her speech related problems. The whole class stopped talking to me. I struggled with making friends in my school life because I cared about people a bit too much as I didn't have friends in early years. So, a lot of people used me.
But guess what? I met that girl in college again and she was completely okay and felt really happy meeting me and she thanked me.
For the first time, I felt like I did something that made a difference in someone's life. ❤️
I don't regret standing up for her at all even though it took a lot from me and kind of shaped my entire life differently as I was very young when people left me.
@Yougotmyback you are an amazing lady ❤ one of a kind ❤❤ thankyou for sticking up for people ❤ I love you
Thank you! 🥹❤️
I just want people to not feel alone in this world. We all are here and we all deserve love and happiness🌻
@Yougotmyback Thank you for sharing that meaningful experience with me. It was very caring of you to stand up for someone being bullied at such a young age, even if it came with social challenges for you at the time. You are compassionate and caring, Yougotmyback. How did it make you feel to reconnect with her later and see that your kindness had made a positive difference in her life?
I’m strongly against bullying. I feel like so many people don’t understand what it looks like. For example, they will say they are just teasing or joking around. Luckily I have never had to go through that. I wish others didn’t have to deal with this. I hope you all are okay 💕
@luminousCherry9581 I'm glad you never went through that ❤❤❤ and thank you for your kind supporting words ❤❤ huggs you ❤
@luminousCherry9581 It sounds like bullying is something that deeply concerns you. Your care for others who have experienced it is very compassionate. I agree with you that it is important people recognize the harm that actions like teasing or joking around can cause, even if that's not the intent. What thoughts have you had on how to promote more understanding of what bullying truly means?
@ASilentObserver
That’s a great question because it mostly is about teaching people around you to know how to treat others and raising good kids. At my school we didn’t really have many talks about this. I even heard about those that had to leave the district because of it, which I had no idea about before. Social media has already changed our society in a bad way, and even though there are good things, it also has influenced a lot of bad. I’d really wish there were more safe places like this to talk about it. I feel like already having this website has helped so many people. Especially because I’ve always found it easier to talk to people not face to face. I hope anyone reading this will hopefully find peace in their life away from such a brutal environment. 💗