New to the Relationship Stress Community? Introduce yourself here!! ❤️

Hi everyone,

I'm new here. I've never thought to write to an online community before but I'd really appreciate some advice and support.

My Mum and her partner of 5 years broke up recently, and it's been really challenging. He wasn't my Dad.. he didn't have a title but he helped me learn how to cook, took an interest in what mattered to me and just listened sometimes.

My Mum has always been busy so it was nice to have an adult who cared. Mum cares too she's just had a lot on her plate with my brother, etc.

My problem is I don't know what normal is, and I fear my own partner will get sick of me because of my triggers. I'm constantly on edge and it's not him. He's lovely, most caring guy I know but it's still hard. I'm overwhelmed with emotions at the moment, work and school is stressful, I'm trying to look after Mum, and cope myself. It's a lot.

It's also sad because it felt like the first time in such a long time that I got to know what it was like to be in a family. I'm only 21 and I just feel weighted down and tired. There have been so many sad things over thr years and I just want it to stop, I want space to think, calm and not have life feel as hard as it has been

@ASilentObserver

Hello i am new here but looking to talk to people and get a little help for myself too

@ASilentObserver

hi my name is Taylor I have had a lot of relationships but still struggle how to navigate conflict

@ASilentObserver

Hello! I’m new here. I’m trying to find a way to not mess up the way I always do with friendships and relationships. To not push away and distance myself from people who care. :)

@EchoicEternity Welcome to 7Cups Echo, I am Obs. Nice to meet you. It's wonderful that you want to build stronger connections. Focusing on listening, understanding others, and communicating openly can help. What do meaningful friendships look like for you?

Please know you are not alone here and we are all here with you to listen to and support

@ASilentObserver

For me, meaningful friendships look like two people who can trust each other, rely on the other person, and be honest with one another. I think meaningful friendships are like a symbiotic relationship, each person contributing something for the benefit of the other.

@ASilentObserver Hi I'm new looking for relationship advice.

Hello

Hi . Anyone here has ROCD with jealous issues ?

Hey, I'm Jen and I'm new to 7cups. I'm not extremely comfortable sharing my feelings and struggles, but I'm looking forward to trying.

@ASilentObserver❤️

gentleheartlamb here 40 year young in a struggling relationship

Hey I’m new, and I’m just trying to understand how I can better myself for my relationship. I get mad so easily and it’s really ruining our communication.

@ASilentObserver

hey all call me angel r call me cat. Go through hard times with friends and just like to have other ppl to bounce stuff off of. Always willing to listen to others as well

@ASilentObserver

Hello im new here and just dont know what to do anymore with relationships

Hey guys.

I'm new this side and I can't wait to explore with everyone 💜

Hi, I’m new here. I guess I’m just looking for advice or feedback.

@ASilentObserver

@ASilentObserver

I am middle age, divorced abused, and cancer survivor. My ex is diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. It's been four years since I left and I am finally in a position to look inward and without rancor address my own faults within the marriage. Determine my own boundaries - and lack of them for decades - and my lack of self-confidence.

I am - or will be in a few months - considering dating again. But now, I would like to think about what healthy relationships look like - how to address codependency - and shore up my confidence. I hope this community provides some insight. Thank you.

@ASilentObserverNew here. I have have been single for a very long time and I'm getting tired. My doctor says not to analyze my life right now, but it's hard. I just hate the dating system overall.

@ASilentObserver Hello! I am new here. I am hoping to gain tools & understanding on how to deal with my husband's mental health disorders. We have been together 35 years. Half of those dealing with schizo-affective, depression, and a recent suicide attempt. Thank you for giving me a safe place to share.

@sympatheticWriter417 Welcome to 7Cups, Writer. Glad to have you here with us. I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you're facing. Coping with a loved one's mental health struggles can be very challenging. We are all here with you to listen to and support.

New on here, trying anything, and feeling hopeless..... Hoping I'm wrong.

Hey everyone! I am new here. I look forward getting to know you all and I hope we can be of some help to each other.

@ASilentObserver Hey Silent, been married 23 years in October My wife tells me the other day that she was only happy for the first 3 years .And wanted a divorce but didn’t because of our 2 year old son. And that she was just a substitute teacher at the time.I’m going through a lot of medical issues and not working now .I found out a few days ago they denied my disability calm.So I’m pretty much useless and have no money or options to go anywhere else.

@ASilentObserver

Hi Friends, I'm here for almost a month now, and my journey so far has been good. It has been a rollercoaster transitioning from a member to listener back and forth. But so far it has overall been a positive journey. Thanks for making me a part of your large community and family. It seems like a very caring and compassionate community of kind hearted people. I would love to grow on here in my journey towards helping people and receiving help myself whenever needed.

thanks a lot for letting me be part of this big family!

@ASilentObserver hi so surviving my 2nd marriage now I am sociopath expert on Quora???

Ran for my life two marriages. Happily married third is the best!!!

@ASilentObserver hi I'm new here been with my boyfriend 2 years and he's stressing me out so much lately :(

Hello Rogue here and my 2nd marriage in particular has gained me the dubious distinction of "sociopath expert" on Quora.

I survived he did not. Third and last marriage is the best!!

0 Replies

Hi this is long fyi. Thank you in advance to anyone who is listening.

I am a two time domestic violence survivor raising my two boys with a loving and supportive partner (usually). The stress of a recent move to a new house has all my symptoms coming back in full force. I feel so dejected and hopeless. I also have been seeing more and more verbally aggressive (mean comments) and disrespectful behavior from my partner. I know it's related to the changes in my behavior, but honestly I don't think my behavior is that bad. I am terrified that his behavior will get worse. More and more he seems unable to empathize (or take seriously maybe? Or remember?) how serious the triggers are for me. A red flag is that he is also taking it personally. My triggers are causing him to become angry and hurt, saying things like, "I am not an abuser" or "I am not 'J or K'... you need to stop treating me like I am." Ironically, he has also yelled these things followed by door slamming, or yelling at me in front of the kids or with an open door where neighbors can hear. He has also been following me into rooms I have locked and expressly told him I need to be alone. He has said "NO" to this many times. What is going on. What do I do. I am very upset. This is a good man and great father and partner of four years, and these things are becoming more frequent. He is starting to look openly resentful of me at times, but I don't think he can tell the difference between me and my triggers. He has a history of intense verbal arguments with his ex, but I will not participate in "fights" like this. When I do get roped in, I feel sick (literally sick) for days afterwards sometimes. I'm pretty sure he resents this, too. Only when I end up breaking down crying does he show empathy (or maybe realize how bad it really is). This pattern is killing me. I have begged him to get individual therapy also for his increasingly intense reactions. I know they are linked to his past experiences and trauma dealing with his (definitely abusive and overbearing and loud) ex, and his mother, and his insecurities. He doesn't seem interested. He is focused on the problems emerging in the relationship. I think he believes that problem is me. He also is much kinder to me when I fall into depression. That worries me tremendously, causing more panic, withdrawal, and depression. One therapist, one time, told me she thought I was dysregulated (true at the time of the session, where I had not felt seen or heard on a specific topic and was very angry at the misrepresentation of facts). She observed that I was "elevated" (also true, but I am not the one screaming and slamming doors). Now he is using buzzwords to say that I am "elevated" or "dysregulated" when it is he that is. I do not feel that he can tell or is willing/able to tell the difference between garden variety gentle criticism or simple frustration and when I actually am scared or elevated. It has to do with the behavior he engages in. I want him to be able to understand that. Of course, that is another criticism. I feel like this is really bad. Yes, we are going to therapy again soon.

Am I doomed to repeat this pattern? Am I causing him to display this stuff? I am no angel, but I do not say or do the things he does. It is so sad. He is focused on my tendency to interrupt him (usually to correct facts, which are important) and now becomes FURIOUS when I do it. This was another thing the first therapist pointed out. He doesn't seem to be aware that he interrupts me constantly. Recently, he actually ORDERED me to do something. He wanted me to get in the car "immediately" to talk. This was after I had left from being yelled at unkindly, was followed into a room, he refused to leave, and threatened to end the relationship. In front of our kids. I told him calmly that I would not be able to do that. He repeated, but with "get in the car, NOW." I told him calmly never to speak to me again that way again. Im in full panic attack by now, holding back tears, trying to remain calm, which probably looks like indifference (it's extreme self protection, I fawn or freeze as it was usually the best tactic in the past).

I feel disrespected, because I am. Actions matter. I am not a doormat type personality, but I am a people pleaser. I've noticed people aren't very pleased when I am not 100% accommodating or friendly. Well, sometimes I am not "pleased." It seems less and less that anyone is going out of their way to accommodate me.

May I please have advice about creating and navigating healthy relationships with C-PTSD. Especially when they start to insult you and become impatient and cross boundaries.

I am in love with this man, and I don't know what to do. Maybe I am just hard to live with, but I honestly don't think so. I am also usually the one to keep everyone calm and diffuse situations. Ironic, considering I only really have those skills due to years of accommodating insidious manipulative abusers.

Any advice is appreciated. Thanks for listening

@FinalGirl I'm sorry but I don't have any tips or advice, I'm dealing with similar situation. But I want you to know that I read what you had to say, and I'm hear to listen more if you need me to

Hello. Im here because I am in a toxic relationship of 5 years and dont know how to get out I find myself constantly falling for the lies and giving another chance when I know things will not change.

@ASilentObserver really new here, I just downloaded the app not even 30 mine ago. I'm not sure exactly how this app works, or were to share and/or listen.

@ASilentObserver Hi. So like I was committed to my ex and things when began was so nice. We used to talk to each other almost everyday. Text each other all day. His 'I love you' felt so assuring then. But after a few months, I got assaulted by one of my classmates and couldn't complaint legally against it because my relationship would have been ruined if I did. But I told my teachers and they took no actions against it.

Hello im new here, trying to help others, myself and my significant other work through things and get the right help needed.

@ASilentObserver

Happily married third marriage first two were major clunkers!

Lots to share hello!

Hi there, I’m new here. I’ve not really been in much relationships, I’ve had quite a few situationships, it doesn’t last, it’s just 2 weeks, and I’m tired. It doesn’t last afterall lol.

I get easily irritated, I have quite a temper, I get obsessed for a few weeks and I just lose interest easily. I haven’t had sex yet though, I really don’t want to yet.

I have always yearned for a great relationship

Hi, I'm new here.