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exuberantSky2669
1 126 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts14 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2023 Member sinceMay 1, 2023
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Advice needed on a situation involving my relationship
Relationship Stress / by exuberantSky2669
Last post
 May 3rd, 2023
...See more Ok, I need to start with a back story for others to really understand. I started dating this guy about five months ago. He has a roommate due to having quite a bit of financial responsibilities. I should make it known that his roommate is 15 years older than he is and has a boyfriend of her own. The first time I met his roommate she made herself pretty scarce and I didn’t see her much. The second time, she made me feel like she didn’t want me there, but my guy said she had injured herself (she actually did and I saw it) and was on pain meds. So I gave her the benefit of the doubt because I’m not an AH and all. The third time I met her, she made it extremely obvious that she didn’t want me there by giving me dirty looks or was just very short with me when my guy walked out of the room. I still remained civil with her despite this. Well, while I was there, she made a phone call to her grandkids mother regarding a tv remote they may have taken and I figured out that she was some how associated with a long time friend of mine because the name her phone read off is very uncommon. Well the next day, I messaged my friend to ask if the roommate was his mother in law (she’s not, turns out the roommate is my friend’s wife’s ex mother in law.) Well, the roommate found out about it and decided she didn’t want me coming back there. The kicker is that her reasoning has nothing to do with that. She claims that I told her that every one who is a liberal needed to be gotten rid of. (I never said that and I tend to have some liberal beliefs myself.) as well as accusing me of some other things that I did not do. This created a riff between my guy and the roommate. She basically went nuts on him when she found out he was still talking to her. They just signed a new lease together so he can’t exactly get out of it. I know he’s keeping the fact that he’s still seeing me from her out of self preservation. However, I feel like a dirty little secret and I’m having to still listen to him talk about things she does. Like he was hospitalized recently. I had to hear about how she brought him dinner, was there at some point before I arrived, and he told me when she texted him. I want to say something about not wanting to hear about a woman who spread lies about me but I feel like that would be petty. If you read all of this, advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
Did I really mess up that bad?
Relationship Stress / by exuberantSky2669
Last post
 May 4th, 2023
...See more Ok, this is going to be long. I’m a 40 year old female that jumped back in the dating pool about 6 months ago. About a month after that, I met a man whom I absolutely adore. (I will call him T) However, T has a roommate because he’s got quite a bit of financial burdens and he’s trying to be responsible and take care of those things. He’s not originally from the state that he and I live in. So when he moved here for work he used a website to find a roommate. Unfortunately, he didn’t really know the woman he is now roommates with. (I will be calling her R) I had met R a few times when I visited T at his house. I kind of got the impression that she might not want me there, but thought maybe I was just being paranoid. About a week ago, I stayed overnight with T. Things were ok enough with R even though she was adamant about leaving the moment I got there. Well, the next day, T and R were looking for a missing tv remote. R thought that maybe one of her grandkids who had been there prior to me arriving may have accidentally taken it. She used a voice assistant to call their mother. This is where I messed up. I heard her phone say “calling (insert name here) and I recognized the name. Her grandkid’s mother is my friend’s wife. I’m sitting there wondering if she is my friend’s mother in law but didn’t mention it to her. The next morning, I’m waiting to go to work, think to message my friend to ask him if she is his mother in law and explain that it’s a small world type situation. Turns out, she’s not. She’s his stepkids paternal grandmother. They legally are not related. Well, a couple hours later T messages me asking why I’m messaging R’s family members. (Note that I said members and not member!) I explain the whole situation. At this point, I’m still messaging my friend and he repeatedly tells me they are just roommates for some reason… and that R is mentally unstable. T realizes it’s just a misunderstanding mostly and says “I will talk to her when I get home and all will be fine.” Except it wasn’t. R made up all kinds of things. She told him that I told her that everyone with her political beliefs needed to be k***ed and that I messaged every single one of her family members including a son that supposedly wants to end her existence. I did NONE of that. Two days later, R flips the switch on T and tells him that it was actually him talking about people with her political believes needed to be k***ed and that he is crossing her by seeing me. Y’all, he said she was in the kitchen sharpening all the knives and talking about beating people with baseball bats. I was afraid for him. He pays most of the bills over there because she hasn’t worked in over a month and she told him he needed to move out despite that he is on the lease. Just because he’s talking to me. She doesn’t even want me back over there which is fine. I will respect her wishes. Even my friend and his wife think that she has blown it all out of proportion. At this point, I’m thinking of cutting my losses, and breaking it off with him, but it also seems unfair to him for me to do that. Was what I did that bad? How bad would it be if I broke it off with him over this? Thanks if you read all that.
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