a chat for keineahnung123 and ray 🙂
hey! how have you been? the holidays were so crazy i am happy they are over now. i am off work today so i am cleaning and rearranging my room. i think the change will be good for me mentally and emotionally. i’ve been feeling pretty good lately. im feeling less lonely. more eager to get out and meet someone new. march will be 1 year since my breakup so its def time to get back out there.
how are you feeling today??!
we got a little snow. it’s so nice 😊
@keineahnung123 lol i forgot the @ hahaha sorry
@raymond1203 heyyy omg i couldnt find the post lol, have seen a glimpse but then lost it hahaha. im glad you feel good and seem to be more over that breakup yayyy, actually its snowing A LOT atm here :)) and i love it, everything is white... How have you beeen these days, youve said better but we havent beeen chatting much lately. also have we talked about new years resoultuions? idk, but im kind of on track with mine, doing veganuary now and its actually not hard for me, have some good and easy recepies i like, i think my parents find it a bit weird haha but whatever. also i wanted to go jogging more, i wanna go 2-3 times a weeek, not exactly on it, have been jogging 2 times this year, but thats okayyish. i discovered how important pace is.i really have to tame mysalf and run SLOWW. so my heartrate doesnt go up. this way i dont have to stop and walk (feels disappointing everythime, eventhough ik its fine) and im not THAT tired at the end, and its much more enjoyable.just feels a bit weird, but its actually reccomended to run really slow so im doing everything right i guess. also got a smart watch (not a fancy one) for christmas and it helps to keep track of my heartrate and pace, but tbh i jst try to run as slow as possible lol.
hey. i’ve been a bit sad lately. i was really hitting it off with a friend but something abruptly changed and now she doesn’t talk to me. it rly stinks. i miss having friends. i haven’t had many since the breakup. and i realized that’s almost a year so i need to get back out there. i’m joining the gym. gonna start going after work. i have my bag packed. today might be day one. depending how work goes.
@raymond1203 hey, so sorry to hear that with your friend, it suck when youre getting mixed signal or dont talk to you anymore... maybe youll get it sorted out tho, but either way going to the gym is great. you have a good attitude, today might be day one. dont expect too much of yourself tho. But just starting is sooo good:)
yeah idk what’s going on with her. it’s all i’ve been thinking about. i don’t want to think like this i don’t want to be hurt by this. i tried reaching out and sending a message. i asked if something happened bc i feel like i lost my friend. i think she saw the message and laughed at me. she didn’t respond. i bring drinks into work for everyone and she didn’t take hers. she left it on the table. she knows she’s hurting me it just isn’t something she cares about. it’s cool i’ll be fine. just sad today.
@raymond1203 hmmm it sucks... but is there any way youre overanalyzing it ? our minds often think of the worst cas scenario. idont think she laughed about you, only a really mean person would do something like that. if im not feeling to good or am under a lot of stress i somtimes dont answer texts and keep to myself. maybe in a few days youre talking again like normal.
i can’t stop thinking about it. i’m so pathetic. i feel like my boy made a move on her. she would def laugh at me. she’s a verrrry tuff person with a big attitude. this actually hurts. i had a close friend for tho first time in a long time. guess i fu.cked it up like i always do
@raymond1203 mmmm so sorry its like that atm. but you are not pathetic. i see why you feel like that, cause i talk to myself the same way , but its not good. You did nothing wrong. if she decides not to talk to you apruptly then she is weird. its not a problem with you, but with her. Also keep in mind people who seem very tough have still struggles like every person. many are qute insecure but would never show it.
i’m sorry. my mind is racing. i need to chill. this may be in my head. it does have me feeling like a pathetic simp. and that’s not me. i’m just rly hurt bc i think something is going on and rly just wanted to help. if she would just talk to me straight up i’d feel so much better. she says she cares but this proves she doesn’t. i was there for her when her mom died every step of the way. i was an aaaamzing friend. that’s why i think it’s my boys fault
sorry for dumping all of that. i feel like such a burden.
it turns out the girl is trying to get transferred asap. she still won’t talk to me. all she said was “yeah we’re cool dude lol” and i know what that really means.
i wish we could just talk straight up. but she explodes very easily. she needs help but doesn’t want it and refuses so there’s really nothing i can do
maybe her getting transferred will be better for me
@raymond1203 heyy sorry i didnt answer sooner. you can dump all that here, dont feel like a burden. It that is a let out for your thoughts and emotionst then thats good, keep on doing that. seems like shes really not well, maybe under a lot of emotional stress and shutting herself up from you. Its her. its not you. please remind yourself you didnt do anything wrong. I see why you feel *** and i guess id feel the samein your shoes, but remind yourself its not your fault. People who arent well sometimes act not nice and are not nice to their surroundings. thats because of their problems. its not fair, but iguess she cant help herself. If she wont let you help her then try and let her be, although ik its hard and it hurts... maybe someday shell get back to normal and you two can talk... offering her to talk and help is all you can do i guess
that’s the best advice! you are a thousand percent right. i’m at work now and im feeling slot better. i have plans to hit
the gym after work but i gotta gget to a membership first. i tried on the ap but it didn’t work so i have to go in.
starting a new routine and im very excited about it. i have off tomorrow. gonna continue the rearranging of my room
hbu any plans this weekend
Heyy, how was it at the gym? Did everything Wenn well? I was at a frinds flat yesterday with somf other friends thst i havent seen for a while, it was good:) hope youre well
i was going crazy inside the house so i went for a walk to some department stores. i bought some clothes for the gym. i feel like that’s the typical move for people who do not last long at the gym hahaha but this is something i really want to stick with. i want to do it right. i am very clueless bc i have not been to a gym in a very long time.
maybe you can keep me accountable…i promise to be honest
i am too skinny now so i want to build muscle. i found some protein powder so i can make drinks for breakfast
@raymond1203 that sounds like a good plan. and yes, it its the typical move haha, but whats wrong with it lol. you need clothes so.... it can help with motivating.Did you go yesterday? and if yes how did it go? I think its very cool you really wanna try and get fit. we can keep eachother accountable here. i really wanna stick with running, so far its going okay. i went yesterday (a smaller round) and it was okayish, i think i have a little bit of a cold so i guess im gonna pause a little bit, hopefully not too much. nye resolution is to run 2-3x a week (whaterver time and distance, just do it) and be able to run a 10k soon, rn the longest is 6k, but ithink im on a good way, just really have to slow myself down and run litterally as slow as i can thats a bit annoying but really helps.
wow that’s really great! i def think you can make it to 10k! just keep doing what you’re doing. you are being very smart with it all. i like running around in the cold but the ice and everything make it very dangerous.
i went to the gym monday night after work. it was good. i was very uncomfortable lol (this is so embarrassing lol) i was using chat gpt ai to ask how to use machines and what exercises i should do haha it actually helped tho. i am so clueless with everything lol
i focused mostly on my arms and chest. i didnt do treadmill bc i walk there and back. and on days i work i average about 25k steps a day. my legs are good..its the rest of me that needs work hahah
ive been having a problem sleeping. melatonin isn’t working like it used to. i lay in bed stressing myself out for hours. i had to switch my shifts today bc i was awake until 9am. i usually wake up for work around 11. i def need to focus on my sleep routine.
@raymond1203 oh goddd im so bad at replying i hate that on me... takes me so long for no reason. great that you got to the gym. first time is the hardest. and i totally get why you feel awkward, cause ive been there lol. first time in the gym i went with a frind, and tbh i wouldnt have gone alone cause im too afriat of that awkward situation lolll. but thank god theres google for help haha. but i guess you could always just ask the staff for some advice, i guess they would be happy to help.
wow 25k steps is a LOT i rarely do that many. so i guess skipping cardio is ok hahah. maybee hitting the gym can help you with sleeping? like letting out the engergy in the gym abd being tired after? hope you can sleep better, not being able to sleep is so bad...
how are you feeling?? do you have any plans this weekend. i
fknally got my haircut. my barber was on vacation. so i’m off today and back to work tomorrow 😔
@raymond1203 its so good to hear youre feeling good:) and yeah 25k really is a lot and idk if thats mean, but especally for an american?? maybe its the stereotype in my head but i heard that many americans dont really walk much, and walking everywhere is more of an european thing. but doesnt apply for everyone ofc.
@Keineahnung123 im doing okay. dont have any real plans so far, thought about meeting my old flatmate for sushi this weekend so maybe will do that. i cant sit at home all the time (well i can as an introvert but i shouldnt lol).
I almost booked myself a fist appointment with a theratpist for today. A listener convinced me that therapy could be a good thing for me and that i should try it. a always thought i dont have "real" problems or they arent big enough to have therapy, but i guess i shouldnt think like that. still not 100% convinced tho but i wanna give it a try. well the appointmen was taken before i decided, so mybe ill get one next week or so. idk. I wouldnt even know what i would tell them... but i guess i dont really have a productive way to deal with ✨myself✨lol, just thoughts, emotions, lack of motivation, idk nothing too special. also it would be just that one app. anyway after that you have to wait months lol to get real therapy (if you want insurance to pay).
had a really lazy day today, was kinda glued to the phone, doomscrolling, cold a lot of the time, a bit tired. idk, but im fine, just an unproductive day. i missed my dentist appointment tho and i think ill have to pay 25€ because of that and it bothers me.
dont have much money now... payed 690€ for my car the other day.... my car needed a new TÜV, wich is like a checkup that has to be done every two years to ensure everything is save. it had just a few smaller issues, but i needed new breaks for the front tired, and they are expensive... the checkup itself is 170€ too, if everything goes well. But it is what it is.., a car just is expensive i guess, it never let me down so far tho so not complaining about it haha.
lol i dont think i wrote that much ever?
TÜV
ooooooh i get it. ok here we have car inspections and they have to be done every year (i think lol haven’t even had a license in years lol i think it’s actually expired haha)
you have to be really careful where you take your car here. mechanics will charge you for everything they can. and find problems you don’t need. so ya gotta go to a guy ya know. luckily i have a big blue collar family.
that’s really sux that they charged you so much for your car.
i totally understand what you’re feeling rn bc i feel the same way. i feel like i haven’t been excited about anything in a very long time. i’m mostly sad and i don’t think i should be. i’m a bit of a loser but im a good guy. i don’t need to beat myself up as much as i do.
the times i tried therapy were ok and bad. shopping around for a therapist is more difficult than i expected it to be. it sux when you don’t get a good one but it’s ammmmmazing when you get a good one.
having to wait months is crazy. *** just put in for it now. that stinks.
i had to opt out of group meetings bc these people had REAL problems. i heard the darkest stuff. i just get sad a lot. but enough that it’s a problem. so i still didn’t fit in so i left and found my own way. it was good for a while and im in a great place. today was a great day. but yeah i still struggle to be just happy
Yeah youre right. I dind feel line He pushed repairs onto me tho. Just the braves need to be relaxed from time to time and a few lights were broken.
Yeah we have not nearly enough therapists its a real problem. If you pay yourself tho ypu can get Therapie faster. I dont think id becomfprtable in Group Meetings too, proably would compare the Problems os something. Idk waht gonne come but ill see
that’s really good tho. just keep pushing toward to a happier you 🙂
ngl chat gbt is just as good as a basic online therapist. they essentially say the same stuff. unless the therapist or listener knows you really well. then the pwrsonal connection is impt. but for me in a tight situation the ai works
did my message about my new haircut come through?? i swear i wrote it hahaha i must of forgot to push send lol
ngl i feel lonely tonight. it hurts feeling like ive pushed everyone away.
@raymond1203yeah the message with the haircut came through haha, good for you:) what did you do yesterday night? i feel like when youre lonely its a good idea to do something. like not just rot in bed (my guilty got-to lol) but maybe cook with music, or watch a film at least.
I feel weird with ai. i wouldnt belive it and think like. yeah in general its a good idea, but doesnt apply for me cause im just lazy or whaterver idk. When i first used this site i chatted with noni and it was so weird, wouldnt use that feature again haha
oh yeah i think i tried that in the beginning too lol it really wasn’t great 🤣 🤣
ive been really liking my new haircut 😀😀
i spend a lot of time in bed doom scrolling while listening to podcasts. i’m gonna go to the gym tomorrow after work. it’s a great way to kill a couple hours. but then i come home and it’s hard to sleep.
how’s your weekend. how ya feeling
Sadyl that what ive been doing too for the weekend... been really umotivated. I wanted to go for a run still, so i did at least something but i dont really feel it. I think im gonna eat something and then solowly get ready to go still. I wanna rjn a "big" round wisch is 6k but i dont know if ill do that, but i dont wanna disappoint myself too. Also its really cold and cloudy?? Here so the weahter is not perfect. But i dont wanna use it as an excuse, so i will go. Howabout you? Hows your weekend, how are you feeling?
i believe in you 🙂 you can easily get yourself to run 6k. it’ll take a lot of work but i think you can do it
what can i do to help motivate you?? i wanna help you reach your goal.
i wanted to go to the gym tonight after work but we got some snow and i knew i was gonna have to shovel tonight so i skipped it. i’m def going tomorrow tho!
i’ve actually been feeling great this week. in just focusing on work and the gym and my house and most importantly myself. and so far it’s been pretty good.
@raymond1203 i did go for a run yesterday, glad i made it but it wasnt tooo great tbh. it was really cold and REALLY foggy, i could see like 100 meters only. didnt bother me but the cold did. its higher humidity and cold, thats when you feel the cold more. But i did a little smaller round (4.7km i think, further then i thought so still ok) and i had to walk in between. but i try to not beat myself uf for walking from time to time. Althogh i hated the cold, it looked kinda cool. the fog is kinda a vibe and all the leafes and sticks were white or had white at the edges from the frost, which looked beautiful. and i could see all the spiederwebs on the bushes you normally dont see hahaha, cause they were compleately white haha, looked like halloween decorations. so thats the only thing i achieved at the weekend wow.... But its at least someting..... :/ Glad you feel good and i can imagine that the gym will help you. like you have a mission each or every other day to do, itll keep you buisy maybe. also its kinda some active selfcare, hope you have some good music so you can enjoy the sessions. i recently discovered that rock/metal is kinda nice and motivating for doing sports.
that’s amazing! very proud of you. stop beating yourself up. you’re just getting back into this. it would be crazy if you came off the couch and did 6k no stops lol i am very very proud of you. you are actively trying and that’s all ya gotta do. like me at the gym, the goal is big arms and big chest. so i really wanna do big weight. but i haven’t done anything like this in yearssss. so the weights i use are very very low. i just cant lift heavy rn but also i gotta learn my environment and learn good form.
we so got this!!!
damn that does sound beautiful and spooky haha
@raymond1203 omggg i loveee walking through snow😍 just the soft feeling and sound it maks is awesome, can be slippery tho haha. but i dont get why you should be scared to leave the house. just be a bit more careful lol and itll be fine haha.
I did run the 6k before and it went well thats why i had the expectation to do it again. last time i really reminded myself to go slowww and thats why it went well i think. but i know its not always linear progress and thats fine. next tim maybe ill do it again.
I like how youre approaching the gym. recognizing that you gotta start slow and work to get a good form etc. i mean nobody can lift heavy at the first day. but i feel like some men (sorry not sorry) dont get that and egolift haha. its better to leave your ego behind lol. had to learn that whith running too.
have fun at the gym later! let me know how it goes:)
ok i guess the best way for me to explain these people is…if there is any reason to say no im not doing that, they are gonna use that reason no matter how nonsensical
it is bc they are all very entitled without actually doing anything. the north eastern american is a fascinating creature 😂 😂
doing 4.6k in the snow…i have no doubt in my mind you can do a 6k very soon.
im about to walk to work now. it’ll be super dooper quiet but today is a holiday so i want that extra money lolol today is reverend dr martin luther kings bday. dude was awesome. he was assassinated by our government in the 60s
omg i forgot how much i love the snow. we don’t really get it anymore. but when i was a kid we got blizzards all the time. and i grew up playing hockey. so for my walk today im listening to old punk rock music. such a happy vibe for me today
@raymond1203 "fascinating creature" lol i love that.
That walk through the snow really sounds like SUCH a vibe! and with good music too just perfect. yeah getting snow is not happening that often anymore. Here we had a snow storm one time. the snow was really thick and the electricity went down for a while. i imagine it so cool. and i wasnt there 😠 i was a kid and with my mom and brother away. im still mad i didnt experience it, the other kids loved it lol. and the neighbours gathered at oour house, with candles and all, it was nice, my dad said 😅 well but im even happier when we get proper snow here
btw, did i tell you im doing veganuary? i just had a vegan cordonleu (idk if thats a thing elswhere, its a schnitzel filled with ham? and cheese in original nd it was actually good, im kinda surprised
lmfao they fr are fascinating creatures lol but also very scary. we have allllllot of violence.
how was your day?
i just got out of work and no i am at the gym. it’s very cold out but if i get a good workout in and get my temp up the run home will be kinda nice and peaceful lol until i slip on ice hahaha
omg that snow storm sound so nice. i rem when i was a little kid we got something like 40 inches of snow (yea i said inches hahahah) it was the besssst. we had little snow caves we made and massive snowball fights. the best am. football is in the snow.
whooooa veganuary sounds really hard. how’s it going so far? we generally have chicken cordon bleus or ham but there are others. there’s a lot of good vegan food now. even like ten years ago it was crap lol what are some of your favorites?
i spent like 2 hours at the gym doing all different exercises. my walk home was so peaceful. i wanted to run but there’s ice EVERYWHERE lolol it feels good to finally be in bed snuggling with my kittens 🥰🥰 i have the day off tomorrow but have to run to a couple stores. i’m feeling really good tho. i think the gym is helping my attitude lol
how are you feeling
@raymond1203 that sounds sooo good! so nice to hear youre happy and had a good day. and ending it with the kittens sounds so perfect🥹 keep in mind that feeling about your workout for when youre not so motivated lol
veganuary hasent been too hard tbh. i always wanted to try some vengan things, cook more plantbased, cause theoretically i know i and my fam are eating way to much meat but whatever. tried some fake meat haha and its honestly pretty good but depends on the brand. also tofu is pretty good when prepared right and gives you good protein. just in the last couple of days im kinda annoyed of having to think what im gonna cook over and over again. and a few times i treid to cook somethink the rest of my fam can eat too (with meat ofc:/) and cooked extra meat for them. but now i have uses all my good ideas for that and have to get creative, but its fine so far. if i dont have an idea i can olawys just cook some falafel or pasta with pesto or something. im glad im doing it, ive thought about it last year but didnt really do it, just tested some things out, cause my fam is really NOT vegan haha. im curious how imch ill keep of that after the month.
i had a kinda good day, had good tutoring lessons, one kid cacelled last minutes, so i get payed for the lesson without doing something haha
omg pasta with pesto is one of my favsss. i don’t think i eat enough meat but ive been working hard to eat a lot more and a lot better. i honestly dont think ive ever tried tofu lol i see it all the time i just nvr tried it.
thats really great that you prepare meals for your family. esp when it’s stuff you’re not gonna eat. you seem very sweet.
getting paid and not having to work…that’s a huge win. you’re totally crushing it. 💪💪💪
i see your hard work and i’m proud of ya and i rly hope you’re proud of yourself bc you def should be 🙂
so what ya got going on today? i’m just kicking it around the house until the stores open lol it’s like 4am here.
i have farley sleeping on me rn. he’s so cute 🥰
@raymond1203 yeah its partly nice of me but im partly doing it cuase i dont want them to say anything against it / me tbh. and thank you, but im not crushing it. still lazy and dont get mcuh done, just a little bit. and ik thats good, but i cant praise myself for that it feels very wrong. ist like am meme i have in mind, where someone is shaking a hand of someone for something he didnt really do. lol idk if you know what i mean
i totally get ya. and if that’s really the case you do what you think is best. but i’m still gonna be proud of ya (can’t stop me lol) and i’m gonna keep believing in you bc i see you trying a lot. and what are you talking about lazy lol im american that’s our thing hahahah fr i can show you lazy that you can’t even understand. trust me you’re doing good. just keep going.
and i know what you mean about doing it so the fam won’t say anything or hold it against ya lol i go threw the same stuff with my mother. i love her more than anyone but *** this lady drives me absolutely crazy hahaha
@raymond1203 haha yeah it can be difficult with fam sometimes, but mostly its really fine.
Thanks, it still feels wrong tho lol. i dont wnat people to have a too posiveve view of me, maybe thats the imposter syndrom lol. but maybe i am just an imposter loll. whatever, but i do appreciate it.
Did you see my other message about politics? its okay if you dont wanna dicsuss it but i just cant see the message so wondering if you got it
no i missed it what’s up? i’m fairly knowledgeable about this madness 😂
fam can fr be difficult but it’s without question worth it. i been threw hard times with my family and i didn’t have them for a bit. so ill take the headaches lol def worth
i know that feeling. when it feels wrong to give yourself too much credit. tbh that kinda mentality did benefit me at times. but rn it just feels good to treat myself good. treat myself the way i treat others.
omg these kittens are getting massive lol they constantly wrestle each other and now it sounds like a man walking threw my house hahaha
@raymond1203 i can see the message in the app but not on my lapop. i dont wanna repeat it but lests say im worried and frustrated about whats happening with trump etc...
Your mindset is good. treating yourself like youre treating others. and youre really doing good. trying your best (and succesfull) and thats all we can expect.
hahaha sounds funny how your cats act, must be great to have that company:)
i just scrolled threw our thread and i didn’t see anything about tr.ump. today is day one for him and he did ALLLLOT. something like 80 different bills signed. he banned lab grown meat and labeled the mexican cartel as terrorists. so i guess we’re going to war with mexico now. he’s also trying to take greenland. it’s a lot dude. crazy times.
these cats are the besssst. like really amazing. i wish you could pet farley bc he is the softest thing ive ever felt lol
@raymond1203 yeah i see all that. woke up and saw what he has signed already. res reall going through with it."freeing" the people who stormed the capitol, going out of the climate agreement...... holy *** howw the f is it possible to JUST do all that? hes a child just doing what he wants no matter the consequences and nobodys stopping him. thats so *** dystopian help
yeah that was another thing. he revoked the electric vehicle mandate. the craziest thing is how popular he is now. 8 years ago he was a racist devil but now everyone sorta likes him. it’s very dystopian
@raymond1203 exactly. and what worries me is that he is not alone with this. it seems sike the whole world is shifting in that direction. in germany too. the biggest conservative party here is really shifting to the right (as well as most of the other parties too) the extremist party is now OPENLY extremist and the conservative party now has talkingpoints which the extremist party had a few years ago. like litterally. and back then most people thought that was extreme, but now they are like fine with it. its frustrating. becasue the extremist party got popular, i guess the conservative party wants too keep up?? but im like that cant be right. we have to hold against it and not go with it.
we germans tend to look toward america and be like: te americans are so dunb, that half votes for such a lunatic. But i mean like over 20% want a extremist party here too and many others are compleatly with right talking points. my father too. its kinda frutrating to talk to him casue hes like fine with kind of right politics of the concervative party, which shifted to the right a liot imo. But at least he says clearly that the extremist party is def. not okay.
that’s crazy that the conservatives are now talking like extremist. our democratic party and republican parties flip flopped. like in the 90s the republicans were all about censoring and now the republicans preach free speech while the dems censor a lot. politics stinks lol why does it have to be so important haha
yeah but america is pretty dumb lol and a huuuuge amount don’t vote