How Can I Show Love To Myself?

@RumpleSteeleSkin

Thanks, good ideas. Here's others, I came up with.

Reminding yourself of all of that you done well during the day.

@ReservedExcitement

That is very important to remember....is appreciating the good in the present moment

@RumpleSteeleSkin YES...we are who we really are in each moment we are aware!

@BlueSkyDay1911

Blue I do agree with that so much

This is such a hard thing for me to do I guess b/c it doesn't come naturally. It's like I have this idea love is something you share with others, not yourself.

I know my anxiety and self esteem issues get in the way of self love. Plus I am not always the nicest, gentlest person when I am stressed. I am the person just trying to keep it together.

I also find I am far more compassionate to other people than i am with myself. Don't know why that is

I relate to this so much!

@orangeOwl1462

@orangeOwl1462

So relatable to someone who spends a lot of time focused on other people's needs and forgetting to care for himself.

Self care can be anything from doing a hobby you really enjoy when you want to stir your mind away from negativity, something creative or perhaps a sport to occupy your mind. For some it's saying no to parties, hangouts, toxic people or anything that can induce stress or negative emotions afterwards. It's up to you. What are the things that excite you the most when a friend decides to do something nice for you? You see where I'm going. Be a good friend to yourself.

One thing I like to repeat to myself is the words of doctor Jordan B Peterson

'Treat yourself as someone you're responsible for helping' (something along those words)

He also said

'treat yourself however you want to be treated.'

See what he did?

Anyways I wish you the best in finding ways to show love and appreciation for yourself and all that you do. Don't remember that you are enough! 😊

@privatevoid

How do you figure out what you actually like to do, or what gives you pleasure? Ive struggled this that all my life. I wud much rather do for someone else as I find that much easier than focusing on myself. Ive tried a few things, but, get bored fast. I have just taken early retirement and moved half way across the country with my boyfriend. He works on the road. I am very fortunate to be able to travel with him; however, Im finding myself with way too much free time! And no hobbies/interests. Where do I start? Ideas??

@cyanOwl3282

Hmm, one thing I could suggest is finding more about yourself, perhaps taking a standardized personality test. I guess you could look up MBTI, the big 5 personality traits or the Enneagram. It can show you more about yourself, what you enjoy, what motivates you and fulfills you. You can find sites that even help with that sort of thing, finding what your passions are and what is meaningful to you.

I could also suggest maybe signing up for a Pinterest account? If you are looking for new things to do, ideas to try out, hobbies to pursue, I would definitely recommend it! That's where I get most of my inspiration and ideas from.

Hope you find something that suits you!

@privatevoid

Thank you! I will check those things out. Thank you again ❤️

@cyanOwl3282 I'm with you 100% , it's like, "What exactly am I supposed to be doing with my life?" I have moments of blinding inspiration which fizzle into nothing and then I end up feeling bad for not acting on them. I'm just trying to be patient with myself but it's hard sometimes.

@cyanOwl3282, Ive been thinking about your question since yesterday. One thing you could do is challenge yourself to try something new each week. Look online or in the local paper and see whats happening in your region. Go to events you otherwise would have passed up. You may discover a real connection. Good luck.

@peacefulSun36

hmmm....I think I just need to change my attitude about it. I wud have loved to have this much time when I was raising a family & tending to parents

@orangeOwl1462

Hiya Owl good to see you I am sorry to hear that showing self love to yourself is hard- that is ok. And I have heard that to- love is with another. There is some truth to that yes, but first we must love and show it to ourselves before we can truly offer/accept it from another. Anxiety is the biggest "gate keeper" of all for many reasons. Can I suggest maybe you write down when the next time you feel this. That way you are mindfully aware of when this is going to happen and you can plan for it to come out better. It is tiring to keep it all together. Have you thought on sharing that load with someone? This action too- is showing self care/love to yourself. A lot of us find showing compassion to others is so much easier lol. I don't know exactly why this is but it is Can you try and share that compassion with yourself once in awhile? Little steps for you?

@orangeOwl1462

I can relate a 100% to what u wrote

Eating the food that I like and reminding myself that Im awesome and I deserve friendship

@Crazy1300, its a struggle though—right? I have no problem indulging in foods that I enjoy, but I wonder if self love is selecting healthier options.

@peacefulSun36

I see what you mean Sun, but I think when it comes to self love, it's up to the individual to choose. The love only revolves one person and that person knows what's best for them.

But that's just my opinion. ☺️ Feel free to correct me

Go to bed early and finish a movie I started last night.

Saying

I can show love to myself by continuing to seek help and support

when I feel my most vulnerable and want to quit.

@emotionalMaple9419 Yes yes yes, so big yes to this!!

1. What do you find to be the hardest on showing yourself love? Is it a feeling? A thought? Does your body feel something?

High standards, I love that I surround myself with people I aspire to be like. They're more intelligent in my field (and this helps me learn), more adventurous, and are happy/confident. This is mostly good for me, but if I'm having a low day I might see myself as far away from ever being on their level and it's hard to love myself in those moments

2. Showing self love can be difficult for many, what are things that get in the way?

Time, and energy it takes to begin doing something that deviates from whatever routine you have in daily life. You gotta carve out time for hobbies, but sometimes it's an accomplishment to just get out of bed and get through the day.

3. There are many reasons why we don't show ourselves love? Is there a way we can ask for some help?

I don't know how to ask for help with this ... how can someone else help when the only thing standing between self love is YOURSELF. you can talk it through with a friend and they'll listen but the way you treat yourself is your responsibility, no one else can change your habits

@honestTortoise7644

HIya Honest good to see you here So what I'm reading you say is high standards for self is what gets in the way of showing yourself love/care. I do understand on wanting to be just like our colleges and friends or family. But in reality we really can't we stress ourselves alot. I try myself to be a darn good state medical care giver, like those who get paid so well and get the great jobs. But in reality I am one of the good care givers my boss sees. Low days are so very hard to meet up with our standards. Can I suggest to maybe just try and be ok where you are at, and not focus on what others are doing or where they are at. Maybe talk with them on successes and things they done to get where they are. I really do agree with you on finding the time in you day/routine to have that time for you. But as you shared you have a hard time putting it into your routine already. Try to stop and smell the roses as most say. Stop outside and glare at a tree, notice how it grows, its beautiful leaves-does it smell? Or notice the weather, is it warm wind or cool. Little things like that can be worked into a busy routine. You are right that it is up to us to treat ourselves right...BUT if you were not shown this or taught...then how do you do it? Right? Even here on 7cups please talk to someone ask those awesome questions you may have. Wherever you feel comfortable in asking for help please do. As even I ask for help and it is a bit uncomfie but the more I been doing the more I don't feel weirdo or shy on it. Please do let me know how I can help more on this or the community as well

I am doing things that make feel good.

@RumpleSteeleSkin

Thanks, I will have to re read this to get all of the bits and pieces of it, it's so much. I will give it a try. Thanks.

I am so struggling with this right now and feel like my relationship is blowing up because of it. I

Famous dude Tony Robbins says, "In your head, you're dead." That is absolute truth. If we stay too long in our heads, nothing seems or is real anymore. I can manifest any scenario I want. My paranoia starts to grow. My self-esteem begins to plummet. My anxiety amps up.

Mindfulness is helping me get and stay out of my head. I'm here, right now in this moment and I am going to be ok no matter what happens.

Be good to yourself. Forgive yourself (and I know how insanely hard that is). Take time to care for you and know that things will get better.

@savethebees40

Live it! Thank you!

@cyanOwl3282

Seeing the goood, remembering how gracefully accept what I have no control over .... rather than allowing bitterness, anger, and frustrations to seethe and ferment inside of me. See the good, be the good! Love... especially for myself.

@green18doz30, thank you! I am learning to accept what I have no control over, but to still try my best and be positive. I think this is a real skill...to not be bitter or worried, but to be loving any way, and that starts with being aware of me, and letting others do and say what they need to!

@BlueSkyDay1911

i agree with you both. For me, I have to really be present/conscious of what Im thinking (all the time it seems-does it get easier?)

Its exactly what you both said-concentrating on what I can and cannot control, dont let my thots carry me away to the past &/or future, but, concentrate on now. I sometimes yell in my head -STOP talking lol....just let moments happen-not everything is my ‘business to be analyzing things.

@BlueSkyDay19

Gosh don't I knoooow it!!! I am sad that I wanted someone that didn't want me back. I felt like I lost something. At the same time, I gained something, me. In that regard, I do feel good about losing. It is just that, at times, it's like a battle unto yourself.

Does meditation and yoga help with self love?

@SourButSweetCandy

For me, personally it did. But took a while to adapt to it.

Its like I become more aware of myself and realise what is good for me and what is not. Like, its sort of a coping strategy for me, and helps me to not depend on bad coping mechanisms.

Hope that helps.

Also, you can try to find out if it works for you.

@1AlwaysThere1 yes! that's how i feel too, it's like you become more focused on positive stuff !

Journaling, letting all the thoughts out and releasing emotions I'm having.

@Morfo66 journalling is great. That is often the only place I can share what I am really thinking.

Watch a silly episode of reality tv and take a bubble bath. Ideally at the same time!