PL 101: Systems vs. Goals (Discussion 4)
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Hello Leadership Crew!
Welcome to our 4th discussion in this first course. In todays discussion, we will be talking about systems vs. goals.
To start, please read this post here  and watch this video.
The basic argument here is that having a system is better than having a goal. A system is a way of behaving that helps you move towards accomplishing something. A goal is usually and end state that happens after you have accomplished something. I think eating healthy is a good example. A goal might be to lose 10 pounds. In this case, you feel kind of bad about yourself until you hit that goal; and then, once you hit it, you kind of lose the purpose because the goal has been reached. If you relapse and gain wait again, then you fall back into feeling bad about yourself again. Contrast this with a system of eating healthy. A system might include things like: having a big glass of water prior to each meal; eating a lot of fruits, vegetables, and nuts; not eating after 9pm; and/or doing some level of intermittent fasting. You wouldnt integrate all of these new healthy eating behaviors at once. Instead, youd gradually introduce one and then another and then another over whatever period of time makes sense. The system enables you to continuously get healthier and healthier. You will eventually reach the goal, but itll be the byproduct of eating healthy.
Another example might be education. I dont really care all that much about grades for my kids. I mostly want them to learn and enjoy learning. We talk about what they learn, we draw things, they make their own educational videos, they explain things to me in their own words etc. I want them to have a system of learning and refining their perspective on things. If they have this system, then having good grades will be a natural result of enjoying learning.
This also has implications for 7 Cups as well. We might have goals of having a certain amount of group support messages or 1:1 messages. Those are fine goals to have, but we mostly want to create a system of support where people care for one another and then the natural result is an increased number of messages. Or, zooming back, think about this leadership development program. We could have an arbitrary goal of training a certain number of new leaders to serve our community; or we can co-create a system - this leadership development program - that helps people become leaders. The natural consequence of the program will be a higher number of trained, competent, and strong leaders that can better support our community. Â
What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed? What are 3 behaviors you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?
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What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed?
my goal in life is to live a "Lotus Life" . the lotus flower blooms through the mud. This blooming symbolizes how we are able to get through all the obstacles we deal with in life to rise above (the mud) into full bloom. This brings me to practice the key system of being consciously aware every moment of every situation that disturbs me in some way and to get out of that .
What are 3 behaviors you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?
1) Self Love n self care are important to keep motivated in a healthy way and to do my best
2)practicing meditation -- that provides the source of all that awareness and to sail thru tough moments. I try to make it a part of my routine life
3)living in a sense of gratitude- thats another routine practice i try to follow . It helps me cope with any extreme situations in a better way , being thankful n hopeful
@GlenM
What is the key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed?
The key system that I really want to continue working on is structuring an overall healthier lifestyle -- specifically managing a better sleep schedule. When I am really immersed in work, I tend to cut into my sleep schedule to "make more time to get things done". And by doing this, I am not getting enough sleep each night which can have a cumulative impact on cognitive ability, physical stamina. and overall emotional wellness.
3 Behaviors to implement:
1.Work on going to bed and waking up at a consistent time that allows me to get 8 hours of sleep each day.
2. Stopping all work by 6:00 p.m. so that I can make dinner, clean up and have time to relax before bed.
3. Developing a bedtime routine to include putting down my phone, turning off the laptop and reading something just for fun!
@KindnessMatters2020
Great ideas, I especially like the stopping at 6pm.
@GlenM
Hey, y'all! Hope you all are doing good!
Loved the video on system vs goals and the idea around it. I have tried to develop that mindset and I think it is really helpful!
What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed? What are 3 behaviours you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?
I need to set up a system to be able to journal whenever possible and meditate regularly. I have a lot of things going on for me and sometimes I get stressed about the future and forget to be present. And I find journalling a good way to let it out. I think I need to do it whenever my mind gets cloudy. Stress usually hampers my efficiency and productivity so, I think this is a way to help me succeed.
I think that mindfulness, being able to slow down and reminding myself about how much meditation helps me would gradually help instil this system in my life.
Looking forward to the next discussion!
@Grace8402 I strongly relate to stressing about the future rather than being in the present and in the now. I'd love to try journaling too as this seems like a great idea. Mindfulness would help me too!
@KristinHelps
I hope it works for you! I'm still working on it! We'll get better with time! 😄
@GlenM
What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed? A key system that I need to set up in my life to help me succeed would be very similar to the one mentioned in the article. I would like to be a journalist or something in the writing profession when I am older so my key system could be writing daily in order to practice writing.
What are 3 behaviors you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?
1- allow myself to write every day for however long I feel comfortbale with that day (depending on energy and self care) - don't force myself to write for longer than I feel I can.
2- don't focus on the number of words (something I constantly do!) but focus on just writing something.
3- look back at my progress on a weekly/monthly basis to see how far I've come.
@bookworm274 I really like how your system as well as daily goals and steps helps you develop your passion of writing. I also like that your last behavior is reflection - I think that's very important for growth as well.
@bookworm274
It's so wonderful to see the passion you have got for writing and I am really sure that you will get through it and be an amazing writer. All the best!
@GlenM
Key System: A system of pacing myself - something I've started doing for a while now that helps not only ground myself but lead myself with acceptance.
Behaviors:
1) Acceptance - which is the end result of this system but also the primary behavior needed to kick it off. Accepting things like I have my own struggles but can pace myself and do things at my own pace is a key.
2) Self-care - I think we all need a break from time to time. This is not always intended to be a break filled with television but might be more of resting up, pausing and reflecting on our progress etc.
3) Learning - learning outwardly is always one of my goals, I commit to reading more, trying to attend courses of wide varieties, but also, learning about oneself is very important - we need to identify our limitations, our strengths and the middle ground of coping and how we can improve it all - an important thing to keep the pacing system working.
Thought I share my opinions on this. I am leaning more towards con when setting up a mentality. Not saying that it is bad totally. But perhaps the suggestion may work for one, but not all.
For me, somehow no matter how I setup something, be it a goal or system. It tends to develop into something very unhealthy. Well it may say that it could be a mental or behavioral issue on how oneself manages it.
But no matter how hard that I try to push for something, i.e. health, fitness, diet, lifestyle, work, task, habits, etc. I tend to push/strive for something either unrealistic, perfectionist, must be "correct", best of it, extremeist, and it tends to usually slide off from my original intended wishes or outtakes from it.
So take for examples, i.e. journaling, meditation, mindfullness, or even exercises. I tend to push towards one end that usually end up tormenting to myself, sometimes even self-hurt physically or mentally without being aware. - Worst is when I am aware but still continue to do so. Because it aint right to "stop" or "change", and the inability to stop continues.
Hence something suppose-ingly to be helping oneself can turn ugly into a self-damaging lifestyle.
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That's my thoughts. No right nor wrong on the options suggested.
@mikenai That makes sense, sort of like if you commit to a goal/system, then it leads to imposing a lot of strict expectations on yourself that feel like they create significant stress/anxiety. So in practice, for yourself, you've found it feels more self-compassionate to leave certain things loose/open rather than trying to control them by setting up goals, routines, systems, etc. (Let me know if I'm misunderstanding.)
@QuietMagic
That makes sense, sort of like if you commit to a goal/system, then it leads to imposing a lot of strict expectations on yourself that feel like they create significant stress/anxiety. So in practice, for yourself, you've found it feels more self-compassionate to leave certain things loose/open rather than trying to control them by setting up goals, routines, systems, etc. (Let me know if I'm misunderstanding.)
Shocked, you managed to shorten my thoughts.
You got it actually. Basically its a set of rules/guidelines that is set by oneself.
However how oneself govern/manage it is another issue to be taken care of.
*** It may sound like lazing or opportunity to "goof" off, but being able to strive both together as a balance might make one soul way more stronger.
*** Why so many stars? Because I rethought and felt that situation actually depends. Some depends on it to motivate/push/achieve towards a certain desire, in this case goal/lifestyle, if not otherwise they may just lax back. While some takes things to extremes and yea. End of the day, being cautious and mindful perhaps might turn up even way better? Perhaps its really to each of their own experiences. Only the daring and ability to experiment will find out.
@mikenai
I like what you've suggested of each person trusting their own experience and figuring out what works for them. Some people might find systems helpful to stay motivated/organized. Some people might feel it's a bit overbearing or doesn't mix well with perfectionistic tendencies in themselves. Maybe someone could go back and forth between the two, or use systems for some things but not others... yay for freedom and experimentation. 
I'm personally reading this thread as, "If you're in a context where you want to manage something or work toward a specific result, consider creating stable/sustainable systems or processes that'll indirectly create the result you want." If you're not in that sort of context, the suggestion might not apply.
@QuietMagic
It takes kind of great strength to manage though I say.
Thank you for helping me to break it clearer and sharing on its application on a better level.
@GlenM
A key system that I need to set up in my life to help me succeed is being proud of my accomplishments and the progress I have made. Often times I bursh off my own accomplsihments and progress instead of properly supporting and encouraging myself.
Three behaviors that I can implement to help me gradually grow this new system of mine into my life are keeping track of all of my accomplsihments by writing that down so that I can visualize my progress, rewarding myself for acknowledging my accomplishments and progress, and, finally, telling myself at least once a day that it is alright to take time out of my day to think about my accomplishments and progress because it is not at all selfish to do so, rather, it is something to be proud of.
@GlenM
What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed?
A key system for me is having a routine or plan that I can modify as needed but it takes away the scary thing of having to design a day from scratch each day. Plus when I wake up I do not have to wrestle with the thoughts of what I am going to do next. I just start my routine.
What are 3 behaviors you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?
Refraining from expressing anger because it makes me feel terrible and sidelines me from following my plan for the day.
Seeing what I am doing right and how I am accomplishing my goals rather than criticizing or judging myself; Be my own supporter.
See the other person's needs - not just my own - and find a way so everyone gets some of what they need including me. Often when I help another person that helps me build my self-esteem and confidence so I can be the change not just talk and plan it.
All the best🌷
@GlenM I think a system that I could implement in my life is figuring out my career. Currently, I want to become a genetic counselor and my thought process is that I have to checkmark all these requirements. Which is true, but I want to try and enjoy the journey and just take it as it comes. It's stressful because applications are coming up, but I try to remember that it will all work out! I think I can try to implement this system by taking time for myself during school/studying, setting smalls goals to make sure everything is organized and remembering that the universe has a plan for me and that I will end up where I am supposed to be!
@GlenM
I would really need to implement a system to set a regular schedule on when I will be on 7 Cups and how I would be using his time.
1. I would need to figure out a schedule that can be combined with my work
2. I would need to write down all the activities that I am/want to do on 7 Cups and implement this.
3. I would need to plan a self-care breaks
3. So basically I would need to be more organized and consistent on daily basis 