Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #9) Passive-Aggressive Communication
Please note: In order to successfully complete Course 2, you must respond to this post. Your comment/response should answer the questions/shows that you completed the given activity (if any). Read the post carefully and follow the instructions given. Save your responses to a document that you can later refer to. You will need to copy/paste your response in the course evaluation form at the end of each course to show that you have done the work and to refresh your memory. 
Healthy communication is key!
Questions:
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
After fulfilling the requirements of this post, please check out the next post here! You must take part in the brainstorming/activities given in all of these posts to successfully complete the program.
This post is brought to you by the Leadership Development Program Team, find out more information about the program here.
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
- Silent Treatment, Subtle Insults, Procrastinating on Purpose, Sabotage, Keeping Score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
-I have personally visited keeping score a lot. I think people do it without realizing that it is an passive agressive thing.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
-Passive agressiveness can lead to damaged relations and coud actually foster unhealthy things like mistrust. I think we as help providers whether to a member or during conflict resolution should not indulge in these tactics.
@helpfuldipper I think you hit the head on the nail there, I think a lot of people 'Keep score' and don't realize it.
@helpfuldipper
Hello!
Thank you for sharing your personal story. I also wanted to point out that I like the 5 examples that you use to recognize passive aggression.
@helpfuldipper
Rightly said, we shouldn't indulge in such behaviour.
Questions:
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
-
The silent treatment
-
Subtle insults
-
Procrastinating on purpose
-
Sabotage
-
Keeping score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life? Keeping score. Where someone has brought up things to hold over my head to prove a point/keep score. So that they could in turn "get me back" because of it. Telling me I deserved it, etc.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
It confuses, controls, punishes, and hurts people and would hurt our teamwork and trust here.
@FlourishingDimensions
Hello!
Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience. I am sorry that you have to go through that. Great job on being able to learn from it! :)
@FlourishingDimensions
I have also faced someone keeping score on me. I can understand how you must have felt. It completely breaks the trust.
@FlourishingDimensions
I'm sorry you've had to experience someone keeping a score of their favours over you, it must have been a hard situation. I agree with you on what passive aggressiveness does to a community.
Know that you deserve amazing things x
@Heather225
1- What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
2- What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
3- Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
1- a: being unresponsive.
b: insulting you while acting like if it was a joke.
c: being dishonest and giving you a compliment that is obviously not honest just to make you feel bad.
d: telling you that nothing is wrong while being mean to you.
e: making sarcastic comments about you.
2- A long time ago, I had a friend that just denied that they were angry at me but they literally hurt me physically because they were very mad. (I do not communicate with this person).
3- It is very damaging and especially over messages since you can not read people's emotions as you would in real life. There are also people that are struggling with their mental health and when someone is passive-aggressive it is very hard to tell how they feel which could be very hurtful towards others.
@Andyallen
I think cutting communication after being physically hurt is the right thing to do. I might have done the same. And yes, especially over messages being passive aggressive could be really harmful. I agree.
@Andyallen
Great point on how passive aggressiveness over messages can be very harmful, its very true and I agree with you.
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
The Silent Treatment - Stopping speaking to someone and ignoring any messages sent by the person.
Subtle Insults - This results in doubt and confusion, and also, undermines confidence. This is often seen in the situation of a power imbalance.
Procrastinating on purpose- This is a kind of power control taking control over another person’s schedule.
Sabotage - Deliberately messing things up for someone else.
Keeping Score – Keeping score of the favours and expecting something in return.
What is one example of passive-aggressive behaviour you have experienced in your life?
I have experienced silent treatment from someone really dear to me. Initially, I kept wondering what went wrong. And that was really hurtful. Fortunately, I never had experienced any of these behaviours here on 7cups.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
This kind of behaviour can damage trust and relationships between members of the community causing a situation of confusion and conflict. People won’t feel motivated to work towards the goal if they won’t feel a positive vibe around.
@ResilientLucky
I like how you explained all the 5 signs too. And I agree with you on how it can damage the community.
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
1) The Silent Treatment
2) Subtle Insults
3) Procrastination on Purpose
4) Sabotage
5) Keeping Score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
I have experienced The Silent Treatment. I have both done it and received it. I was bad at expressing my anger out and that led me to do it subconsciously. When I received the same from someone, I realized my mistake and am being more clear about my feelings since then.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Passive aggressiveness leads to unwanted conflicts. It creates misunderstanding between two people, causing someone to over-think and create an overall negative perspective about the other person. This enhances mistrust and reduces reliability which are very damaging to the whole community.
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
Subtle Insults, Giving someone the silent treatment, Procrastinating on Purpose, Sabotage, and Keeping Score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
Keeping score and giving someone the silent treatment
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Because it can destroy relationships and develop a lot of trust/communication issues which are what this community does not need. It needs the opposite: good communication and more trust.
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
- Silent treatment
- Subtle insults
- Procrastinating on purpose
- Sabotage
- Keeping score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
- To be honest I have been on the both sides. I was friends with some people back in middle school, I don't know what happened but they gradually stopped talking to me.
- I am guilty of keeping score, procrastinating on purpose and silent treatment.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
- Passive aggression is not just damaging to community but to individuals as well. It breaks trust, affects someone's self esteem. Trust is an important part of a community but if the community is based on passive aggression there is no room for growth.
@Hope2103 yeah passive aggression really affects the individual and their self-esteem. Unfortunately, it's a common pattern for many people and a lot of children grow up in households where it's common
1) Silent treatment
2)Subtle insults
3) Procrastinating on purpose
4) Sabotage
5) Keeping score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behaviour you have experienced in your life?
I think the biggest for me is self-sabotage.
I have so many scenarios in my life of wanting to get ahead, I have things I wanted to do but I am not able to start them, I break away partway through, I lose interest, I might have forgetful moments, OR I just freeze up. Because of these reasons I have struggled moving forward.
Why is passive-aggression so damaging to our community?
Passive aggression can be extremely harmful to our community because no one really knows where they stand with this person, and being around them can be like walking on slippery ice or on eggshells
Because of this behaviour in the community/ (7Cups), we may miss important deadlines in our work, which may reflect badly on me/others.
If this person is withholding critical information then our progress and results will suffer. Other team members have to pick up the slack.
@Cazzy8752 I get what you mean, when people display passive aggression, we tend to develop caution and feel like walking on slippery ice because we don't know if the person will receive it well. Even if they don't, they won't directly say it which makes things a lot difficult
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication? The silent treatment, subtle insults, procrastinating on purpose, sabotage, keeping score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life? Usually I receive the silent treatment for a day or so from the person to ensure I understand things aren’t 100% good between us and it needs fixed
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community? These forms of communication is damaging because 1) It sends a negative vibe; 2) It shows other members/listeners that there is a problem and triangulation can occur much easier - which is something that should be avoided; 3) It breaks down trust. If we can’t trust each other as a community it won’t be as supportive and positive.
@wonderfulRainbow817 , I like your answer, especially where you mentioned about triangulation.
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
1. silent treatment
2. subtle insults
3. sabotage
4. keeping score
5. procrastinating on purpose
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
silent treatment
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
it creates a shadowed environment. only glimpses of sun are envisioned through. the breaking of trust is the worst possible thing that can happen to a community built on it.
@milkoreos agreed to your last point! breaking of trust is the worst possible outcome of passive aggression
@milkoreos
Silent treatement really feels bad. I am very sorry you too faced it. Besides I am sure we are going to eradicate it from our society and create a helthy envournment :)
All the best!
@milkoreos
you are right. it does create a shadowed environment
@milkoreos
Very true.
@milkoreos
You are absolutely right! Passive-aggressive behavior can create an environment that is absent of unconditional trust! Good work!
@milkoreos
1. silent treatment
2. subtle insults
3. sabotage
4. keeping score
5. procrastinating on purpose