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Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #9) Passive-Aggressive Communication

Heather225 August 27th, 2020

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Healthy communication is key!

Please watch this video.

Questions:
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?

Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!

After fulfilling the requirements of this post, please check out the next post here! You must take part in the brainstorming/activities given in all of these posts to successfully complete the program.


This post is brought to you by the Leadership Development Program Team, find out more information about the program here.

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crystalclearnow September 11th, 2020

5 signs of passive-aggressive communication

1) Silent -treatment.

2) Subtle insults.

3) Procrastinating on Purpose.

4) Score keeper.

5) Sabotaging.

One example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life.

I have experienced the first 3 passive aggressive behaviour.The person would come to my place with a family member with no regard and complete ignorance of my presence and would stare at the phone or talk to somebody else Earlier I let it be but later I confronted the situation and agreed to disagree with no further communication.

Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?

Passive-aggression is very damaging because there is no clarity and it can leave the person perplexed with these behaviours. Open communication and discussion is vital in these circumstances.

1 reply
September 17th, 2020

@crystalclearnow

I couldn't agree more: open communication, rather than passive aggressive communication, is the way to go!

Zahraa000 February 22nd, 2022

Great answer🌹

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September 12th, 2020

What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?

Silent Treatment, Subtle Insults, Procrastinating on Purpose, Sabotage, Keeping Score

What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?

Silent Treatment, Subtle Insults

Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?

It affects both the one who is being passive and one on the recieving end. So this can make the disturb the environment of cups and affecting the community as a whole.

Mankka September 12th, 2020

- Silent Treatment, Subtle Insults, Procrastinating on Purpose, Sabotage, Keeping Score

- this appears in such a way at me that I keep silent. I do not say my problem. with who I have a problem, I communicate with it neutrally. I have to make changes in this

- this uniform insincerity. it never not good

1 reply
hopedreamlove September 13th, 2020

@Mankka

Great answer! I can relate, there are times when I stay silent, I am also working on making changes.

ahealingEndoftherainbow22 September 28th, 2020

@Mankka

Well said, I too am working on myself on this

She13 December 16th, 2020

@Mankka - great reply !

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Beaconx September 13th, 2020

@Heather225

What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?: They are 1) Silent treatment, 2) Subtle insults, 3) Procrastinating on purpose, 4) Sabotage and 5) Keeping score

What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?: personally I have done number one and sometimes I don't regret it. At times I think it's a strength in managing conflict which not true.

Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?:
It destroyed relationship and level of commitment to another.0

2 replies
freshMint9376 September 13th, 2020

@Beaconx

I think there's a difference between the silent treatment and just stop taling to someone. In one case you expect it to hurt, and to eventually talk to them again once they've been remorseful enough, but when you just stop talking to someone it might be for both of your own good and is not intended to hurt.

DayDreamWithYou September 20th, 2020

@Beaconx

Thank you for sharing :) On a short term scale, passive-aggressive behavior can sometimes have both it's negative sides and positive sides. Sometimes silent treatment seems to be the best way to resolve something and not approach it, but at the same time, it really does not solve anything either. And I 100% agree that passive aggression can destroy relationships and our levels of commitment!

@freshMint9376

Ooh, also, I really like your point about passive-aggression in relations to silent treatment and silent treatment because of hurt. At times, silent treatment (not in terms of passive aggression) is beneficial for us to not feel the possible hurt that we expect, yet at the same time, in order to recover, sometimes talking to them eventually is immensely helpful :) but those two are definitely slightly different issues (as the purpose of each is different: one is to not get hurt and the other is to hurt others). I suppose there are times when it is both; it's different as well.

1 reply
Zahraa000 February 22nd, 2022

Good job 🌹

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beautifulSeal9714 January 17th, 2021

@Beaconx

Nice post :)

Zahraa000 February 22nd, 2022

Good 😊

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LittleBirdie30 September 13th, 2020

@Heather225

What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?

1. The Silent Treatment

2. Subtle Insults

3. Procrastinating on Purpose

4. Sabotage

5. Keeping Score


What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life? I had a really bad roommate situation and things became really toxic. We both became really passive agressive towards each other and we weren't clear in our communcation and things got really bad, really fast.

Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community? Passive aggression doesn't allow for clear communication and it makes everything much harder to clear up in the long run.

1 reply
hopedreamlove September 13th, 2020

@LittleBirdie30

I agree, passive aggression can definitely make it harder to clear up things later. Great answer!

freshMint9376 September 13th, 2020

@LittleBirdie30

I hope things worked out for you and your roommate!

Endure777 September 14th, 2020

@LittleBirdie30

Awesome answers! :)

Grace8402 September 19th, 2020

@LittleBirdie30

I can really relate to your experience and I totally agree with your answer.

pizzaiscool September 25th, 2020

@LittleBirdie30

I'm sorry about that. I hope you get to move to an environment where healthy communication is encouraged, good luck!

TogetherForeverAlways October 1st, 2020

@LittleBirdie30

So so true, thanks for sharing your vision with us!

ouiCherie January 4th, 2021

@LittleBirdie30

Agreed. It can create so much confusion and escalate from bad to worse fast.

(●'◡'●)

SweetDreamer69 April 17th, 2021

@LittleBirdie30 I agree with you. Communication becomes really difficult and makes everything very hard. I hope things worked out well between you and your roommate. Lots of love and strength to you!

kindFish9215 October 7th, 2021

@LittleBirdie30

I'm sorry to hear about your roommate situation. Two of my friends had issues with their roommates as well during our first year university.

I'm happy that you are aware about your passive aggressive behaviour towards each other though.

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hopedreamlove September 13th, 2020

What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?

The silent treatment, subtle insults, procrastinating on purpose, sabotage, keeping score.

What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?

I have been guilty of keeping score and one or two other examples. I have definitely experienced subtle insults from my family, in my culture, subtle insults are the way people show they are upset with you. My parents and aunts often subtly insult us, or other people.

Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?

Passive aggression is so damaging to our community because it can cause conflict, and it can make people lose trust in each other. Passive aggression also doesn't help anyone, and can result in less team work, and less efficiency. It also doesn't allow for clear communication, can lead to misunderstandings, and overall is hurtful.

1 reply
freshMint9376 September 13th, 2020

@hopedreamlove

Oh wow that must be difficult for subtle insults to be a part of your culture!

Endure777 September 14th, 2020

@hopedreamlove

I love the effort you are putting in!

shiningSound31 September 15th, 2020

@hopedreamlove

Very great answers, love heart

Grace8402 September 19th, 2020

@hopedreamlove

It is a part of my culture too and it is kinda harmful. And I agree with your answers!

pizzaiscool September 25th, 2020

@hopedreamlove

Ahhhh! I also keep score and always dwell on how they hurt me in the past, it's a bad habit and I need to learn how to stop doing that!

ahealingEndoftherainbow22 September 28th, 2020

@hopedreamlove

I can relate, great answer!

TogetherForeverAlways October 1st, 2020

@hopedreamlove

Thumbs up for the answers, keep it going, my friend!

amiablePeace77 October 3rd, 2020

@hopedreamlove

It's true, passive aggression leads also to misunderstandings, good point!

Sorry to hear about the insults though, hugs.

Dinohorus November 14th, 2020

@hopedreamlove

I really appreciated your post. It was thorough and presented an interesting perspective.

ouiCherie January 4th, 2021

Hi @hopedreamlove

Yeah, totally understand, as the video said, most of us are passive-aggressive at times and agreed it creates miscommunication and oftentimes hurting the receiver end. Great point there!

Btw, I have just pointed out in my answers that certain cultures considered directness very rude and saw you wrote it hehe...xD

^o^ see you around hope!

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freshMint9376 September 13th, 2020

What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?

The silent treatment, subtle insults, procrastinating on purpose, sabotage, keeping score.

What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?

I have received subtle insults before from classmates. It was confusing, because I wasn't sure if what they were saying was bullying or not. It made me feel like there was something wrong with me, and not with them.

Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?

Clear communication is the best way to speak to others. Passive aggression makes things confusing for those of us who don't understand subtlety. Just come out and say it!

2 replies
DayDreamWithYou September 20th, 2020

@freshMint9376

Thank you for sharing :) I am really sorry that you have received subtle insults before from your classmates, and I can definitely agree that it can get really confusing and cause us to self-blame as well. And I really love how you just said "just come out and say it" because I agree with that 100%. Clear communication is the way to go :)

pizzaiscool September 25th, 2020

@freshMint9376

I can definitley understand how it can confuse you but I assure you, there's nothing wrong with you!! <3

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ahealingEndoftherainbow22 September 14th, 2020

@Heather225

🌸 1. The Silent Treatment

2. Subtle Insults

3. Procrastinating on Purpose

4. Sabotage

5. Keeping Score

🌸 I once had a small disagreement with a close friend of mine. We both became really passive aggressive towards each other and the situation got really worse that we had to get someone to solve it out for us.

🌸 It's a very damaging trait because it tends to worsen the situation because there's no room for communication and most often tends to show revenge attitude and things can get really hurtful

1 reply
BookChunky September 18th, 2020

@ahealingEndoftherainbow22

I like your response Rainbow! Passive agreesiveness can be very destructive. Good job!

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Endure777 September 14th, 2020

@Heather225

What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?

The 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication are: silent treatment, subtle insults, procrastinating on purpose, sabotage, and keeping score.

What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?

One example of passive-aggressive communication I encounter on a regular basis is procrastinating on purpose. I ask someone to do something and they say "I will later" and then never do it.

Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?

It is damaging to our community because it is an indirect form of communication used to confuse, control, and make fun of others.

1 reply
shiningSound31 September 15th, 2020

@CognitiveACE

Ace, I agree with your last answer. Keep up the good work, friend smileyheart

BookChunky September 18th, 2020

@CognitiveACE

I like your response Ace! Good job. I understand your point.

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shiningSound31 September 15th, 2020

@Heather225

What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
1) The silent treatment; 2) Subtle Insult; 3) Procrastinating on Purpose; 4) Sabotage; 5) Keeping Score.

What is one example of passive-aggressive behaviour you have experienced in your life?
The silent treatment. In my college, some of my peers used to subject me to the silent treatment. I was really hurt because of it.

Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Passive Aggression is bad because it can be really hurtful to people. It diminishes trust and affects the mental well-being of the victims. 7 Cups is a platform with a mission to provide emotional support and promote the mental or psychological well-being of everyone. Passive Aggression is against the spirit of 7 Cups. A victim of passive aggression may leave the site or a team to which she/he is a part of or a role or feel reluctant to approach and talk to especially the person who commits passive aggression besides feeling low. This is counterproductive. This might affect the effectiveness and efficiency of the work done at 7 Cups.

3 replies
BookChunky September 18th, 2020

@shiningSound31

BookChunky September 18th, 2020

@shiningSound31

Good response! I like your explanation about the destruction to the community.

1 reply
shiningSound31 September 19th, 2020

@BookChunky

Thank you, Chunky smileyheartsmiley

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