Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #8) When you don't get the role you want
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Hello, students! Let's talk leadership!
Many of you have or will apply for certain roles that interest you! And some times we get it and some times we don't! It can be difficult to find out that we didn't get the role, but we can control how we react to it.
Here are some DOs and DON'Ts:
- DO talk to the leader of the role that you applied for and get some input on what you can/need to do in order to get the role next time! Be aware though most leaders of these roles are busy so give it some time!
- DON'T bring the issue into the support rooms. If you are upset, talking to a peer supporter about how you are feeling is ok!
- DO take some self-care, self-care is good for any occasion but its best to deal with those feelings of failure or disappointment outside of 7 cups, things like going on your member account can be so helpful to overcome some of these feelings
- DON'T think that you are obligated to stay on 7 cups right after finding out bad news, especially if you are in LSR/TL and you see other listeners who have gotten the role that you wanted! It can be hard to deal with and it can cause unneeded jealousy or hurt on your part! Not everyone is like this but if you think that this is a possibility that you can think this way staying away might be a great option!
- DON'T take it personally, everyone is ready at different times. It can be hard for us to realize this but just because someone got the role and they might have been here in less or the same amount of time doesn't mean that you personally are ready! Everyone grows and accomplishes things at different times!
- DO get a mentor, in general its a good idea to get a mentor but for things like your goals on 7 cups mentors can be great and helpful! They can give you feedback, do mock chats with you, and overall help you with your goals as I said before!
- DON'T think you have to apply for every role and every team out there! There is time you don't have to apply for everything! Its super easy to burnout that way, and that can lead to more "rejection" and hurt that none of us want!
*Never let not getting a role the first time discourage you! You will be told when you can apply again and use the feedback that you get to better yourself when you can/decide that you are ready to! practice makes perfect none for us are perfect and no one will ever be! Its a good thing to remember no matter your role as a listener your help is greatly appreciated and you are still helping so many people!*
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I think I would just say "thank you" for letting me know of it. It feels a bit sad to know that I have applied and even waited to hear back for it but sometimes it can't be helped. We can accept that we did not get it at present and if we are provided with feedback, we can learn to do better and maybe re-apply if there's an opportunity for that. I would say to the leader, "Thank you for letting me know of it, I can understand that sometimes we still have to improve on some things before we get the chance to do more. I appreciate you for informing me. Is it possible to know why I didn't get it and if there's something I can improve on so the next time I may have a better chance at being accepted for this?"
You can't give your life more time, so give the time you have, more life.
@Heather225
Not getting the role that I wanted may be a blessing in disguise It may be a blessing in disguise because the role that I applied for wouldn't suit me in the way that I thought it would. Some roles are just way to restrictive for me. Sometimes it's better to wait for an opportunity that fits me better. I like to create my own roles and opportunities as well. I am the creator of my own roles and opportunities. Therefore, as long as I don't reject myself, I will never be rejected in the roles that I truly want.
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would take self-care, make use of peer support, or my member account, whatever can help me feel calmer. I do not have to stay on 7cups out of necessity. Once I feel calmer, I need to pull constructive feedback from the leader(s) of that role, so that I can learn and apply again when I am ready.
@Fristo
I like the way how you have focused mainly on the "self care". I agree with youš
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
I would feel little sad and disappointed but first disappointment doesn't mean that we can't get that role ever. We can apply for that role next time for sure. So, by using feedback, by practicing more and improving in the areas where we need to improve we can be able to get that role next time. Sometimes, it can be difficult to accept the decision, so we should try to focus on self care. There are other areas too in which we can give our contribution.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
First of all, I would be grateful to them for providing me great opportunity to apply for the specific role. I will ask them for feedback for improving myself to do better next time. Moreover, I will ask about other areas that how can I contribute more. If I am more interested in that specific role then I will improve and apply for it again.
ā¤ Moreover I would like to add one thing. I remember when I have applied for becoming verified listener, due to some need of improvement I couldn't become. It makes me feel little bad but I didn't give up on the first discouragement. And I I did improvement and applied for it again and has given the mock chat test and got passed š
@LovetoGod I'm glad to hear that you were able to push through your discouragement. I'm glad to hear about your accomplishments!!!
@peacefulIris56
Aww thanks. And I really want to appreciate one thing about you that you try to give replies to everyone and I love that about you.ā¤ā¤
@LovetoGod You're welcome!!! I appreciate your kind and positive words.
@peacefulIris56
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@LovetoGod
I agree, we should focus on self care! And I am really glad you didn't give up and got verified!
@Hope2103
Yeah. Thanks for your appreciation. Good luck with program š
Thank you so muchš
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would ask the leader for some feedback so that I know what I need to work on in order to have a better chance at getting the role should I reapply in the future. I would make sure I take some self-care so as to not get overwhelmed or upset by not getting the role I applied for, and I might take some extra time away from 7Cups if I felt like I needed it. I would also request a mentor if I did not already have one, and ask them to support me in working towards reapplying if that was something I was still interested in.
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
If I found out I was not given a role, I would thank the leader for taking the time to let me know I was not chosen for said role. And I would also ask them for feedback on what I did wrong and ways to improve.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would say something along the lines of the the following to the leader who informed me:
āThank you for letting me know that I was not chosen for said role. What could I work on improving before reapplying?ā
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I should respond with good behavior and with allowing my emotions to come and pass. What I would do is: I would be sad, but I would act with good behavior. I would probably tell them something like this āOh, thatās okay. Iāll see if I can do another leadership role instead. Thank you for your time.ā
@RimeSoul That's so important to accept your emotions and to allow yourself to experience them and to let them pass. Being respectful of others is advantageous in many ways.
@RimeSoul
It's great to explore more roles rather than feeling disheartened. Thanks for sharing.
If I am not given my desired role, I shouldn't feel disheartened. I may take some time off to deal with it. And then after taking the feedback I can apply again.
I would thank them for considering and use their feedback to improve on.
@helpfuldipper Right on, I agree. It is something we should remind ourselves not to feel disheartened over. Great reminder and well said :)
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Donāt take it personally. If I need time for some self-care I should step away from 7 Cups for a bit to do that. I should also consider a mentor.
I would thank them for getting back to me and for their honesty. I would ask them to provide any feedback or recommendations they would have for me and if it would be ok that once I worked on them if I try reapplying for the position again.
@FlourishingDimensions
Hello!
I liked that you would not take personally if you don't get a role you apply for. I know it could hurt and make us feel disappointed but it is very important to know that we can always give it another try and work hard until we achieve our goal.
@FlourishingDimensions
Self-care is very important here. I believe a break can really help. I myself took a long break and it helped in reflecting on my experience at 7cups.
@FlourishingDimensions
I'm glad you highlighted getting training from a mentor and taking a self care break. I think they'd play one of the most major factors in improving on your weak areas and getting that role ultimately.
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
If I did not get the role I wanted I would totally be sad, but I would understand that if it did not happen it was fair because there are requirements that we have to meet, and if I didn't meet the requirements then it is fair that I did not get the role because that means that I am was not ready to get it. I would thank the leader for letting me know, and I would ask for feedback in order to get better and make sure that I can be ready to give it another try.
@Andyallen
I totally agree that asking for feedback is really important.
@Andyallen
Its very nice to see that you'd be understanding and constructive even while being sad. We're humans and we'd obviously be sad and disappointed when we do not get something we desire, but I love your spirit of accepting it and working on it.
@BecauseImBatman22
That's a great point! Approach to a struggle/hardship is what can make a better outcome!
@Andyallen asking for feedback is really important argh i agree 
@Andyallen
That's a very balanced way to react over a situation like this. Surely we must check on where we lack and we must work on that so that we can make it the next time. :)
@Ashvillium
Yes! Balance is key! :)
@Andyallen
It is very rational and objective way to look at it.
@Andyallen
Asking for feedback is really good.
@Andyallen
I agree with you and like your detailed response!
@Andyallen
That is such a great way to respond! Definitely asking for feedback is great, since it will make you better prepared for the role! Great response!
@Andyallen
Honestly spoken.
@Andyallen
It's wonderful to know that you'd be taking a positive approach to the situation and allow yourself more chances to explore!