Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #8) When you don't get the role you want
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Hello, students! Let's talk leadership!
Many of you have or will apply for certain roles that interest you! And some times we get it and some times we don't! It can be difficult to find out that we didn't get the role, but we can control how we react to it.
Here are some DOs and DON'Ts:
- DO talk to the leader of the role that you applied for and get some input on what you can/need to do in order to get the role next time! Be aware though most leaders of these roles are busy so give it some time!
- DON'T bring the issue into the support rooms. If you are upset, talking to a peer supporter about how you are feeling is ok!
- DO take some self-care, self-care is good for any occasion but its best to deal with those feelings of failure or disappointment outside of 7 cups, things like going on your member account can be so helpful to overcome some of these feelings
- DON'T think that you are obligated to stay on 7 cups right after finding out bad news, especially if you are in LSR/TL and you see other listeners who have gotten the role that you wanted! It can be hard to deal with and it can cause unneeded jealousy or hurt on your part! Not everyone is like this but if you think that this is a possibility that you can think this way staying away might be a great option!
- DON'T take it personally, everyone is ready at different times. It can be hard for us to realize this but just because someone got the role and they might have been here in less or the same amount of time doesn't mean that you personally are ready! Everyone grows and accomplishes things at different times!
- DO get a mentor, in general its a good idea to get a mentor but for things like your goals on 7 cups mentors can be great and helpful! They can give you feedback, do mock chats with you, and overall help you with your goals as I said before!
- DON'T think you have to apply for every role and every team out there! There is time you don't have to apply for everything! Its super easy to burnout that way, and that can lead to more "rejection" and hurt that none of us want!
*Never let not getting a role the first time discourage you! You will be told when you can apply again and use the feedback that you get to better yourself when you can/decide that you are ready to! practice makes perfect none for us are perfect and no one will ever be! Its a good thing to remember no matter your role as a listener your help is greatly appreciated and you are still helping so many people!*
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
If I don't get a role that I applied for, then I should talk to the leader of the role and request for feedback and advice so that I can improve myself in the areas where I need improvement. I should devote time to self-care. If I am hurt or jealous, then staying away from 7 Cups can be a good option.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Thank you for considering my application for this role. I would be grateful to you if you could provide me with feedback. This would help me improve on areas where I need to improve. Please also inform me about when can I apply for the role again.
@shiningSound31
I love your response. It can be difficult to hear, and it sounds like you've taken that into consideration as well. Requesting for feedback is so important- without feedback, how will we learn and grow? Love it, Sound! ❤️
@rebecca947
Thanks, Rebecca 
Hugs
@shiningSound31
This is a really great answer! I agree with you about taking a self-care break and asking for feedback is important.
@BookChunky
Thank you, Chunky for liking my response and for your warm and kind reply
@shiningSound31 Really loved your reply. Lots of positivity!
@SweetDreamer69
Thank you, Dreamer Hugs
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
Don't get upset, try to understand what went wrong and how to do a better job next time.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Thank them for being honest and informing you, ask them what you did wrong to clearly understand alongwith that ask what you can do better next time you apply for that role.
@BookChunky
👏👏👏
@BookChunky
It'll be hard to not get upset, but training your brain to think positively is the best way to go!
@BookChunky
good points book!
@Heather225
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would be a little disappointed but not much because there are so many things to do here. I would thank the leader for taking the time and let them know that I'd get better and probably try again soon.
@Grace8402
This is a great response Grace! That s tue that there are so many things to do on 7 cups and sometimes we do not get the role we want to because we are not the perfect fit and maybe we would not be really satisfied with it once we have it. Sometimes we imagine things different than they are in reality. I am happy to hear that it would not discourage you and you would keep on improving.
@Grace8402
great point grace! there are always many more chances to get involved in whatever the track you feel passionate about in cups!
@Listeningsarinn
Well said, Sarinn! Thank you! 💜
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Sometimes we feel no hope.. No point of progressing... Everything seems so worthless.... All desires are gone love lost but the time, The time remain constant.. Time will turn am waiting for it to turn... Time is a best but slow medicine. It will heal and give you strength
IT'S TIME, IT WILL PASS
@Slash
Wow, this was so encouraging to read! I love how you highlight that after all time will pass and only contribute to your healing process and make you stronger! Thank you for sharing these inspiring words with us!
@Slash
there are times we all need to remind this to ourselves! thanks for sharing ^-^
@Heather225
Before I answer the question, I just want to say that one of the biggest things 7 cups taught me was how to accept exactly this situation. Giving a brief overview, previously, in my own personal life, there were a lot of times I completely stopped an activity just because I did not get a role, and it is one of the main things I really regretted. When I first joined 7 cups, I went through a lot of threads, and there was also a thread about "what should you do when you were not given a role," and it was very heartfelt for me, so thank you! Now, here is my response to the questions:
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Before anything, I would first thank the leader for taking the time to read through my application and for the notice as well (They are always super busy and taking even just a few minutes to read through my application is honestly super awesome and something I am thankful for). I would then congratulate anyone who did get the role! Previously, I might have been really discouraged, but I would say that since the last three months, I would really love the idea that I was not given the role (which I know sounds kind of weird), but here's my reason. Because I was not given the role, it meant that there was someone who could do even better than I did and could help this site in a better way than I could. It meant progress, and it also means somewhere I can improve as well, and obviously, another person I could look up to! Some part of me will definitely be disappointed, but this would really encourage me to see where I can improve and become even better than who I was originally when I wrote the application :) It is a time when I can really reflect about everything as well!
@DayDreamWithYou
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us! I completely agree that when not being given the role we should not just shout down. It is so inspiring how you would see all of this as your opportunity to grow and that you would be happy that they found the most suitable candidate they think would do the best to improve the community. I think you are going to be a great leader constantly self-developing, all the best on your journey!!
@DayDreamWithYou
Wonderful answer!
@Heather225
I would thank them for taking the time to review my application and I would ask for feedback to know why I was not given the role so I can get better in that area. I would also explore other available positions and look at whether another role would not suit me better. Furthermore, I would get a mentor who could help me improve.
@MoonlightHelper1
They all sound good! You're looking for resources and what alternatives there are. As well as feedback of course lol
I think I would be sad and disappointed at first, but then I would try to move on from it and try to find ways in which I can still be effective and look for any possible alternatives.
I would be respectful and ask if there is any other position that they could recommend to me and ask what I can do to improve for the future.
@lovelyNight9853
Its understandable and good to acknowledge how you'd initially feel. To be prepared for it to come, but then to move on and recognising how you can. :) great ideas.
The first thing you should do is take some time to step back and let the emotion pass a little bit so that you dont take it out on anyone else. If you need to you can talk to a peer supporter to help you process a little bit, but do not bring it into the support rooms. Once your emotions are in check you can message the leader and ask for feedback, in the last discussion video it said that people dont ask for feedback enough, but if you ask for feedback you can find out why you didnt get the role and what theyre wanting to see so that you can reapply in the future when you are ready, you never know for sure what the reasoning is unless you ask. If needed you should also take some self-care to reflect and nurture yourself and when youre ready, jump back into things at your own pace and begin working toward your goal of achieving the role(s) you want.
@InvaderStitch
Great points!
How should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
We should respond maturely and honestly; we could maybe ask for some feedback on how to improve, or perhaps whether or not they feel as though we're right for the role.
@RebekahRebel
I think asking for feedback on whether they feel we're right for the role is a good approach. Perhaps they could point to a role that is more suited for your needs and gifts in a situation like that.