Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #6) How to Accept Feedback

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

For most of my life, I took feedback as I was failing, that I was doing things wrong and taht it was confirmation that I wasn't perfect so why bother trying. But I've learned that it's really helpful to take time and listen, and to work on how I react to that feedback. Is it coming from a genuine place of support? Or is it being nasty? Self-compassion has helped with that too. Now I slow down and take time to process before reacting like I would have in the past, and I'll ask questions to make sure I'm undersanding.

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

The most recent feedback I received was about my response time. I had a bad connection but I can see their side and I can see why that would be annoying.

I felt sad initially because the intentions weren't to purposely ignore anyone but I apologized where it was due and that made me feel a lot better. They ended up understanding and it was all ironed out.

Nothing differently really. If anything, this video just solidified my actions and that is comforting to know. :)

@Heather225

I would say although I don't lash out I sometimes take feedback personally. Last time I took the feedback into consideration but a few times I have taken it personally.

In the future I would follow the video:

Stay calm and listen. Separate yourself from your work and listen objectively

Be receptive and appreciative so people feel it's easy to give you feedback. Sincerely tell them thank you for the feedback.

Ask for advice to show you’ve heard the feedback and are ready to change

Set a follow-up and a plan for what you will do next.

Thinking about the most recent feedback I received, I felt attacked. I reacted by shutting down and acting more coldly—more distant. I felt like the person who gave me the feedback was saying that I wasn’t good enough. This hurt me a lot, and in return, I hurt them by seeming distant. I think that I reacted that way as a sort of defense mechanism. I didn’t want to be hurt, so I tried to isolate myself from the thing that was hurting me. This was of course nowhere near the appropriate reaction for me to enact. After watching this video, I think that I would really listen to them and trust that their intention wasn’t to hurt me, it was to help me grow and improve because they love me and want to see me thrive.

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

When I received feedback recently my first instinct was to get defensive, as it's hard to hear criticism. However, I managed to get over this pretty quickly and I think ultimately I was able to accept the feedback and learn from it, so I have improved from how I used to be, there is still a lot to learn though. Having watched the video the main thing I would do differently is make sure the other person feels appreciated, as it is hard to give feedback and often when I receive feedback I am too focussed on myself to properly acknowledge that.

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

The most recent feedback I received was for a practice test I gave. I didn't do well because I didn't study much and crammed everything on the last day. After moping for a while, I realised that that right thing to do was plan better for the next test and revise the topics I didn't do well in. I loved the video because it teaches us to take feedback in a positive stride. I will try to react better next time, and try to not waste my time feeling dejected.

At the time I am going to be honest I didn't take it as feedback more of an insult however upon reflection they were just trying to help me grow as a person.
Once again at the time it simply frustrated me as I didn't think they understood me however now I see that it was actually really helpful and I went and thanked them for that advice

At the time we were in a the midst of a debate so these feelings of frustration had already been building up and the feedback wasn't received by me in the way it should have.
I would have graciously accepted the feedback and asked them for further detail on how I could improve for next time 🙂

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react?

The last time I received feedback, I felt bad about myself and for making a mistake, even though I took it as graciously as I could before moving on. It was in front of a group of people, which made me a little flustered, but I took it in stride and simply continued after correcting the mistake.

How did you feel?

It was a very minor mistake, and I'd been doing the task for a while with no problems, so I felt rather embarrassed. I also felt a little resentful towards the person who pointed it out, because the mistake was not affecting the task in any way.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?

I felt bad because I wanted to do a perfect job, and I didn't want my mistake to be pointed out in front of everyone. I felt a little resentful because it messed up my flow and train of thought, when previously everything was going smoothly. However, because the task was ongoing, I simply chose to take it in my stride and carry on. I didn't let my emotions show and I managed to complete the task well.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I would feel less embarrassed and resentful because I'd be able to more graciously accept the feedback. I would also be able to carry on more smoothly as I wouldn't get so flustered after my mistake was pointed out

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received:
a) How did you react?
I was eager as well as scared to get my feedback. It did make me sad as well as more competitive to move on and improve

b) How did you feel?
I felt like my efforts were not reaching to a place I wanted and all the energy I put into it is a waste and did doubt about my capabilities

c) Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?
I think I felt that way as I've put a lot of my energy into it and have given up lots of things to work on it ,so was scared whether it wouldn't be of worth

@Heather225 one of the feed back that I'd remember that someone said that I laughed too loud that has made her felt umcomfortable. At first, I was hurt by her feedback and I was speechless at that time. I can't deny there was a little bit mad inside of me. I reacted that way because someone's never give any feeback about my habits etc. after that I calmed myself down from those madness and sadness and I thanked her for that feedback. From that moment, I watch myself when I'm around her in order to make her feel comfortable. I learned from the video are to improve myself and learn from my mistake and be calm and happy.