Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #6) How to Accept Feedback

@Heather225

Hello everyone 👋👋👋👋👋

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react?

I received constructive feedback from a listener recently, I was saddened by the misunderstanding between us and how it impacted their wellbeing. I am happy that they reached out to me to express how they felt.

How did you feel?

I felt empathetic and I understood why they were upset and frustrated.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?

I only reacted politely as usual. I made them feel at ease so that they can find a way to heal from this misunderstanding.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I think I have applied what was suggested in the video, I felt like I was open to feedback, remained calm and understanding. There is always room for improvement.

@courageousheart96

It sounds like you're amazing at accepting feedback and using it to improve and it's amazing that you're so open to making changes and improving. :)

Think about the most recent feedback you received: I hosted a zoom meeting for a society I run and got some feedback from the attendees afterwards.

How did you react? I was sad at first that not everyone loved the meeting, so I went through all the feedback and sorted it into sections of good feedback and bad feedback and then tried to think about how to improve.

How did you feel? I felt a bit upset and dejected because I had worked really hard to make the best presentation I could, however I was also determined to keep improving and also focus on all the positives that were identified and use that to grow as well.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? I was really focused on doing well and so i think I was a bit dejected because I felt like I had put a lot into it, but I think I also felt determined because I knew I now had clear objectives to improve for next time which i was grateful for.

What would you do differently after having watched the video? After watching the video I would definitely take more time out to reflect on my experience and check in with myself and others around me that I am implementing the feedback I am given. Also I think I will take time out to accept and process the feedback so I can be more open to growing and improving constantly moving on.

@Heather225

At first, I was pretty defensive, since I felt attacked when I was receiving that feedback. I reacted that way because I do not like other people pin-pointing my own flaws. After watching this video, I learned that I should (1) stay calm and listen, (2) be thankful and appreciative, (3) ask for advice, and (4) set a follow up.

@Heather225

so True

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react?
I cried.

How did you feel?
I felt like I could not do anything right.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?
I think it was put in a way that threatened my salary. I felt bad because I felt like there was nothing I could do to prevent my salary reduction.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?
I wouldn't take it so personally. I would separate myself from my work so that I can hear clearly. I would be grateful that I was reminded that I needed to be keen as the. consequences would not only affect me but the whole organization as well.

@JoyHappyNess I'm glad to see that the video helped you reflect on how to react to feedback. It takes time and the process is hard but it's worth it because feedbacks are honestly the best ways to find out your weaknesses and improve on them <3

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received.

How did you react? How did you feel?

Ans: Honestly, I felt unappreciated initially. Like I was working so hard but no one was appreciating my efforts. I didn't even come to think that everyone was appreciating it, they were just letting me know where I was going wrong and where I can improve myself. They were helping me evolve.

Why do you think you reacted and felt that way?

Ans: I think that was natural. I felt that way because I was working so hard, volunteering to listen to someone, making them feel validated and listened to. So, when I received my first constructive feedback, my initial reaction to it was that I am not being appreciated enough. I failed to realize that they weren't criticizing either, they were just helping me brush my listening skills up, make them finer than they were.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

Answer: I would continue what I was doing after I learned how feedback helps us evolve ourselves- I would take what others are saying into consideration and I would work on it.

@Heather225

The last few feedbacks I received bwere positive, it has been a good experience, new roles come with new experiences or new feedbacks both good and bad. At time it hurts knowing that you've done your best but your best wasn't enough but what we really need to know is that there is always room for improvement, no matter how good you're at what you do, at some point you discover the better.

@Heather225

3. I felt bad because I wanted to. do a perfect job and do my very best, but that wasn't what thr outcome showed to be, I didn't let my emotions get in between my work after that.

4. I wouldn't take it so personally and realize that there is something I need to improve on more and work accordingly.

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I didn't react much as I get really nervous.

I felt a bit scared and nervous since receiving feedback is always a nerve wracking experience.

After having watched the video , I will try to be less nervous and work towards getting a positive feedback.

@jersey123456 That's a great start, good luck!

@Heather225

Most recent feedback - The one I received recently was from work through one of my managers regarding my ability to multitask.

1. How did you react?
A. At the beginning, in my mind it felt like they're subtly undermining the extra efforts I'm putting which isn't originally a part of my job description. So, it felt quite negative but I knew this was one of the ways I was able to showcase that I can perform beyond this role and I'm ready for the next step.

2. How did you feel?
A. It started off with feeling bad about myself but then realized that the purpose of a feedback is to help me grow and that's when it hit differently and those words and advices started to make sense in a positive way.

3. Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?
A. Initially, it felt terrible given that the work I'm doing isn't even what I'm supposed to do but throughout the duration of feedback, my mind just took a 180 degree turn and thought to myself, this is what I must do if I'm to not remain stagnant in my role.

4. What would you do differently after having watched the video?
A. Honestly, I would've tried to have a broader perspective of the true meaning of feedback so that I wouldn't have to go through the first set of emotions I had faced.

@lyricalSea85 Great reflection! It seems like the video helped you look at things differently <3

Indeed it has! Thank you :D

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

My most recent feedback was about a mock speaking test I had to take in school. I felt enlightened listening to what others thought about me, but I also felt kind of embarrassed as I felt like I was doing everything wrong even though I didn't. That feeling wasn't amplified though, and my gratitude for the feedback triumphed any negative feelings that came my way.

I think I was partly embarrassed because of the fact that I hate talking about myself or have people talk about myself publicly. It just feels as though I'm never good enough or up to the expected standards. After watching the video, I learned that feedback is a way to grow and that it will help me become a better person and a better speaker in this case as well as help me see myself from someone else's perspective.

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react?

I was happy.

How did you feel?
I felt satisfied about myself.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?
Because the feedback was positive.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I will be accepting the positive and negative feedbacks and work on myself to use the negative ones in order to make myself better.

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react?
I was happy

How did you feel?
I felt positive

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?

Because feedback was positive.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I will accept negative feedback and use them to work on myself more

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I am usually very perceptive to feedback. I often ask members if they are comfortable with the way I reply or if there are any other ways I can be supportive to them. The last time this happened was when a member mistook me for a mental health professional. I had to tell them I am unable to provide that for them as I am a volunteer listener. Without any specifics about the chat/member, I asked for feedback from a fellow listener. The fellow listener recommended that I might start off the chat letting members know I am not a professional but I am willing to help them! I was receptive and let them know I appreciate their advice. I needed guidance, and I felt listened to when they responded to me, and it gave me a path to improvement as a listener! After this video, in the future if I run into another area of improvement, I won't forget to follow up with the feedback giver so that I can discuss with them how the issue is going so far.

@Heather225

I've been receiving fairly positive feedbacks recently. But there were times when the feedbacks were quite harsh, especially this one particular time when the person was quite rude and of course it kind of affected me. I felt super bad. I felt really bad and demotivated because I thought I gave my best. If I had the chance, I wish I wouldn't have let a feedback affect me that much, and ask questions as to what makes them say that and how I can so my work better since there is always some room for improvements.

The recent feedback I got was to listen more. I have always want d to grow personally as well as professionally.

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I haven't received any recent feedback, but when I receive feedback, I react by feeling disappointed but in the long run I think how can I improve, how can I get better, as can always get better. I think that the video will help by trying to know that instead of being disappointed to start with but to try and be positive. To try and ask advice from the feedback that was given.

- Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and felt that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

= So I usually let my defense mechanism react instead of reacting logically, but also that is when I don’t get constructive feedback, some people just make unnecessary for no reason, and reacting to that was not mentioned in the video. I personally think learning how to react to these kinds of comments is as important as learning how to react to constructive feedback.

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react?

The most recent feedback I received was very positive and I reacted in a positive and engaging manner.

How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?

I felt really good about myself after receiving the positive feedback. I think I reacted and felt that way because it was positive, and affirming of all the work I've been doing!

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

Remembering that feedback is helpful - constructive feedback should be valued.

@Heather225 Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react?

I blamed myself harshly for not doing it right in the first place.

How did you feel?

I felt overwhelmed and sensitive to the feedback. I felt like I should be more aware of my surroundings. I wondered why I repeated the same mistakes and made a mental note that I should not repeat this.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?

I often expect myself to do everything perfectly but, I am a human, and I make errors. I know it well though it's hard for me to accept sometimes.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I learned that the feedback is about my work, not about me. Hereafter, I will try not to take it personally. Instead of getting defensive, I will learn to make the best use of the feedback. I will ask for advice without hesitation. I will give myself permission to make errors and learn from them.

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

i had feedback at work that "i didnt to fair assignment to them and favored some people" in it. I react this accusations as "it was a hard job to assigning tasks and i try to did my best to do it." I listen and told them to "consider their comments in the next assigment".

i dont know if there will be different aproach to them after the video. I can be more emphatetic and listen to their advices on the issue.

@dudewithaplan i want to add as how i feel part is missing here.

-I was shocked about asking my integrity and i feel forced to defend myself about it.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?

- i tried to be fair many situtations in work and personal life so when i am accused of favoring someone i didnt expect that reaction.

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? Graciously How did you feel? motivated Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? Because I want feedback to be better. What would you do differently after having watched the video? Thanked them.

Last time when I received a feedback, I was angry and I immediately reacted and defended myself, giving facts and data. I felt this way as I worked rally hard and as per the industry standard the results that I delivered were way beyond exceed expectations.

After watching the video, I would have stay clam and listened to the feedback objectively. I would have appreciated the feedback and would have stated that – as per the industry standards the results are way beyond exceed expectations but I would like to get you advise on what could have been done better and would have discussed the ideas and follow ups.

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

hm, maybe my memory is bad but one piece of feedback I could think of was when I bypassed a censored word that I thought was harmless, and got told not to do that. Even though it was a small reminder, I suddenly felt really anxious, as I felt that it went against the identity and trustworthiness I wanted to express at 7cups. Outwardly I thanked the person for the reminder and continued on with the conversation. I think I still need to reinforce the fact that mistakes are inevitable and that feedback is not a personal attack, and that I won't be permanently viewed negatively as long as I am genuine and continually improve.

Hello there!

Honestly, I do not mind at all receiving any critical Feedback. So i was just accepting How things are for other people and i knew that this is their perspective, not mine and definitely not objective. So i moved forward, took The best from it.

I reacted this way because I am used to criticism and Feedback since childhood (of course in a healthy ways along with healthy not hurtful boundaries).

I think i wouldnt do anything differently because i can handle efficiently These types of situations.

Sending strenght and energy!

Lots of love,

🌸Hana🌸

@Livingtohelplive this is a great perspective <3 it's very important to learn from feedback and it's true that it's also important to listen to + understand the point of views of others :)

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

Ans. Honestly, after getting that feedback, I felt i need to know what i have done wrong so i asked them directly, that's not a good feeling. I reacted as i felt i have done nothing wrong at all. I will try to stay calm and listen carefully so that i can understand why they feel that way.

@rriyad it takes time to accept feedback and that is completely normal ! <3 it's good that you recognize this and you are doing a great job !!

@Heather225

How did you react? unbiased How did you feel? good Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? I suppose prior experience. What would you do differently after having watched the video? Watch how I frame feedback.

@MinisterMichelle experience from receiving constructive criticism and feedback can really help to make us more accepting of it :) <3 i can see what you mean !

@Heather225

when i received feedback recently, i responded well to it ! i've really practiced accepting constructive criticism and learning from it <3 :) i used to really hate it and would get upset by it a few years ago, but now it makes me happy and appreciative. i think i reacted that way through practice and self-growth ! after watching the video, i probably would've asked for more and i'll remember to continue to keep it in mind in order to improve my skills

@Heather225

It was about the response time I didn't react I knew it was coming

I am always thankful for constructive criticism, it helps us learn and grow so why not

I didn't react much because I knew I was trying new things and it takes time so it's ok I have always believe there is scope for improvement everywhere it just reinstated that on the brightside feedback doesn't reflect my worth.

@nessa104
After watching the video I think I would just take any feedback as a chance for growth and re-analyse myself

Think about the most recent feedback you received:

How did you react? We had a nice and helpful conversation. I thanked them for their feedback and the time they spent talking with me. I then did some work they recommended.

How did you feel? I was disappointed/mad at myself and kinda shut down afterward. I felt that I wasn't enough. I felt that I had let others down and was embarrassed.

Why do you think you reacted and felt that way?

I think that initially I reacted okie and was open to feedback because that's normally how I would treat someone. They were also kind about giving me the feedback so that was very nice/helpful and definitely made being receptive to the feedback a lot easier. I think that afterward, I felt really bad about it because I am hard on myself and don't want to let others down.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

People have good intentions with giving feedback (and it's not easy to give it either!) But they are only trying to help you get better. It's not meant to hurt me or bring me down. There is always room to grow and improve.