Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #6) How to Accept Feedback

@Gozzil

I agree with what you're saying! When you think you've done a great job accepting feedback is hard.

A while ago I made a presentation for class. When the teacher asked for constructive feedback, the students told my group that we should've used pointers. I felt bad about it, especially since I worked hard on the presentation and they didn't recognise that. Next time I'll be sure to use pointers, though

@usefulSummer3139

*bullet points! My bad

@Gozzil

I'm really proud of how much you have learned <3

@Gozzil

Well done for managing to quickly get over the initial upset over receiving the feedback, the quicker we can accept and process the feedback positively the quicker we can act upon it! 🙂🙂 great Response

Definitely get that the first instinct when receiving feedback can be to feel defensive. But it’s great that you took a step back and recognized that the feedback can help you learn and improve ! @Gozzil

@Gozzil

I`m glad to hear you have learnt how to accept feedback <3 keep up the learning !

@Gozzil

To feel defensive at first is quite natural I suppose. But you managed to overcome it quickly, improved and aware that it's still a lot to learn, that's exceptional. *two thumbs up*

Here's one of my fav quote:

"It's what we think we know that keeps us from learning"

Happy New Year! All the best to you ❤️

@Gozzil You have a great perspective on this! I usually make sure they feel appreciated but if the feedback comes after that I then get so focues on the negative criticism. Your statement has made me realize I could spend more time with the member making sure they feel appreciated before letting myself beat myself up over it.

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

The most recent feedback I received was for a practice test I gave. I didn't do well because I didn't study much and crammed everything on the last day. After moping for a while, I realised that that right thing to do was plan better for the next test and revise the topics I didn't do well in. I loved the video because it teaches us to take feedback in a positive stride. I will try to react better next time, and try to not waste my time feeling dejected.

@usefulSummer3139

I love that you are going to focus on taking feedback with a positive stride. It's always great to put a positive spin on things! 🙂🙂

Totally get the whole cramming and not studying as well for a test, it happens! I’m glad you’ve taken to take feedback as a positive experience after watching the video! @usefulSummer3139

At the time I am going to be honest I didn't take it as feedback more of an insult however upon reflection they were just trying to help me grow as a person.
Once again at the time it simply frustrated me as I didn't think they understood me however now I see that it was actually really helpful and I went and thanked them for that advice

At the time we were in a the midst of a debate so these feelings of frustration had already been building up and the feedback wasn't received by me in the way it should have.
I would have graciously accepted the feedback and asked them for further detail on how I could improve for next time 🙂

@Azalea98

Well done on this realization <3

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react?

The last time I received feedback, I felt bad about myself and for making a mistake, even though I took it as graciously as I could before moving on. It was in front of a group of people, which made me a little flustered, but I took it in stride and simply continued after correcting the mistake.

How did you feel?

It was a very minor mistake, and I'd been doing the task for a while with no problems, so I felt rather embarrassed. I also felt a little resentful towards the person who pointed it out, because the mistake was not affecting the task in any way.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?

I felt bad because I wanted to do a perfect job, and I didn't want my mistake to be pointed out in front of everyone. I felt a little resentful because it messed up my flow and train of thought, when previously everything was going smoothly. However, because the task was ongoing, I simply chose to take it in my stride and carry on. I didn't let my emotions show and I managed to complete the task well.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I would feel less embarrassed and resentful because I'd be able to more graciously accept the feedback. I would also be able to carry on more smoothly as I wouldn't get so flustered after my mistake was pointed out

@hopebeyondpain

I completely understand that feeling. As a rule of thumb, we should always correct people privately and praise them publicy. Nevertheless, being able to control your emotions in that situation is something not many people can do. I am glad to see you gained something from the video.

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received:
a) How did you react?
I was eager as well as scared to get my feedback. It did make me sad as well as more competitive to move on and improve

b) How did you feel?
I felt like my efforts were not reaching to a place I wanted and all the energy I put into it is a waste and did doubt about my capabilities

c) Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?
I think I felt that way as I've put a lot of my energy into it and have given up lots of things to work on it ,so was scared whether it wouldn't be of worth

@DreamTouch

Just stumbled upon this post, and these are some great answers! It's also quite relatable :)

@DreamTouch (continuation)

d) What would you do differently after having watched the video?
I could see the areas for improvement, ask help to the experts on that area and work on it. I could see it as a chance to improve and learn more on it.

Hi @DreamTouch

I get you and I'm aware that you're doing great and a lot to serve the community ♡

⭐︎ Well done

Happy New Year and best of luck to you!

See you around ❤️

@Heather225 one of the feed back that I'd remember that someone said that I laughed too loud that has made her felt umcomfortable. At first, I was hurt by her feedback and I was speechless at that time. I can't deny there was a little bit mad inside of me. I reacted that way because someone's never give any feeback about my habits etc. after that I calmed myself down from those madness and sadness and I thanked her for that feedback. From that moment, I watch myself when I'm around her in order to make her feel comfortable. I learned from the video are to improve myself and learn from my mistake and be calm and happy.

Feedbacks are definitely hard! But they are a great learning experience for us as well. Thank you for your post! All the best @kdsyahirah

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

To be honest, I did start working on taking feedbacks and even the criticism with grace for quite some time. I did realize I am a very small individual and I still have a lot to learn and grow. I don't deny my ego feeding me with the most perfect opinions of myself but at the same time, I try to be as open to feedbacks and opinions as possible. Sometimes I feel hurt, other times I am alright with it. I take them as a review and I work on it. It did help me evolve.

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel?

I recently received feedback about something I misunderstood so I didn’t do what I was supposed to, the right way. When I received the feedback I felt terrible, I had worked so hard at it, and felt like I let not only myself down, but others as well. I know the person giving me the feedback was not out to make me feel bad, or telling me I did it completely wrong, so I reacted calmly and just apologized a dozen times to them. I did feel like a failure in the first few moments after receiving the feedback and was hard on myself.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?

I think as much as I know that feedback is a good thing and not always a bad thing, but in that moment I felt it was terrible. I forgot for a few moments that you don’t fail, you just learn, and to learn and grow feedback is cruitial. I always aim to do my best at whatever I do, so receiving feedback is often hard for me.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

The video has actually taught me to have appreciation for feedback, as well as appreciating the person who is giving it to me. Asking for advice is often challenging, as I am a very strong willed person and do like to think I am capable of doing things on my own. But after watching the video I have realized that asking for advice with the feedback, can be really valuable. Next time I am given feedback, rather that saying sorry, I think I will say thank you, and ask what I can be doing better. I will also realize that feedback is what helps us grow and step further into our best selves!

Think about the most recent feedback you received:
How did you react? How did you feel?
I frowned then took time to reflect. First, I felt like I wasn't appreciated. My work was useless and felt like I'm failing. Then after some pondering, I thought about how the person giving me feedback could actually care about my work so that I could do and be better.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?
I think it's because feedback usually means there's something wrong and bad. Who does like to be told that they're wrong and bad? Well, I personally don't like to be wrong or bad or both. I've been trying to be careful and thorough doing my job, check and re-check everything. But then I recieved feedback. It was like getting a bad score on my final exam.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?
I would recieve feedback and take time to reflect about it. Objectively think that it's about 'what'and 'how' I do, not 'who' I am. So it's "my work was bad", not "I was stupid, careless, useless, etc." By focusing on my work, hopefully I can clearly see my mistakes, correct them, and eventually improve my performance.

To the person gave me feedback, I would thank and appreciate them for the feedback, also telling them that I would like to get more feedback in the future.

@Heather225

while feedback id the fuel for growth it can be uncormfortable to hear. my first response was to defend myself. after some self evaluation however i could see how the person could give me the feedback. although i initially felt attacked, i researched and read some articles to help me improve. from that i grew and i,m more receptive to feedback even if its negative and to be honest its still difficult sometimes.

the video was informative and insightful. i felt better and like i learnt something

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I was quiet and listening but I was also getting emotional. The feedback was spot on and helpful. I felt this way because it was true and I wasnt taking the right decisions. After the video, i learnt that i should practice to listen fully, digest and patiently think about what to do next.

@Heather225

1. How did you react?

I believe in constructive feedback being one way of understanding how you should improve. I love feedback and I welcome it whatever the situation I may be in!

How did you feel?

Pretty excited, because I knew there are things I could improve and learn! I`m always up for reflecting upon other`s opinions!

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?

Because I love improvement and I like knowing that people around me are comfortable with my work and what I do in general.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I have learnt that I am usually doing the first 3 out of 4 things stated in the video as being the way to receiving amazing feedback; what I do is staying calm & listening, and being receptive and appreciative, as well as asking for advice. However, I should be definitely setting follow ups from now on!

@Heather225

1. How did you react?

I accepted the feedback gladly with a light heart and understood it carefully, focused on my flaws and worked on improving it with appreciation.

How did you feel?

I felt excited to learn and improve more and strengthen my areas of weakness.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?

Because I want to grow and be better, I want to be more capable and responsible for my role.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I will take a deep breath and calm myself next time I am about to get feedback, because that would give me time to remember that it's okay to fail and try to improve.

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react?

I reacted in a positive manner because it came as a surprise to me as I didn't know that I possess that skill

How did you feel?

I felt amazing as I got to know something new about myself.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?

As I said, I reacted in a surprising way because their feedback helped me unleash my hidden talent.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

After watching the video, I am convinced that yes, feedback is the fuel necessary for our growth. I have always been open to constructive feedback & this video has only helped me to be more open to them.

@Heather225

How did you react? It was hard for me to hear the feedback! I tried to remain calm despite being sad.

How did you feel? I felt defensive and offended.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? Sometimes, it's hard for me to understand how my actions affect other people. I have to understand that what I say and do can impact how another person is feeling.

What would you do differently after having watched the video? After watching the video, I want to try and think about my actions before I act. I want to also try and be calmer about all aspects of life!

@Heather225

How did you react?

I had it with my new mentor at work. I have worked with her for 9 years; she has been in a supervisory role over me for 9 years. So, throughout the years, I completely trust her, she has proved feedback to me for 9 years. So, when she was providing feedback to me, it actually was not bad and did not sting. One, I think this is because we have a trusting relationship, and it is all about delivery. I accepted the feedback and agreed with her and acknowledged I wanted more direction and guidance in the area.

How did you feel?

I am hard on myself and feel like a failure about a lot of things right now in my life, so negative feedback is easier to hear. However, I felt alright about it because I felt she was giving me truth in a positive meaningful way.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?

I think I reacted and felt that way, because right now I am feeling like a failure at my job, though I am not and my mentor reminds me of that, it is just the spot I am in right now. I also, do like constructive feedback, and sometimes in the past it has stung and hurt, but with processing and thinking about it, I realize it is okay. When providing feedback, it really is all about relationship of the person who is giving it to you. The guy in the video, I felt did not do a great job demonstrating constructive feedback.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

Remember to take a deep breath and just listen and separate the work from myself. Tell myself I am not perfect and I am not failing at everything.

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

The most recent feedback I received that could be considered "negative" I actually reacted better than I have done in the past. However, I still felt someone hurt, more by my own lack of ability than the person trying to help me. I think that it's something I need to work on, the idea that the things I do must be perfect. And so, after the video, I think that idea has been solidified, it's important to learn how to accept feeback and look at it as a positive rather than simply a downfall on my own part.

One of the top leaders gave me some feedback on how to do best forum posts. I was really calm about I was happy to have a better way of doing forum posts. It felt good that this leader was willing to give me feedback. It would help me mprove in writing forum posts. One area I need to work is how to handle big negative feed back better. I think I would step back and ask how can I do better.

@Heather225

.............

(Question: Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video? )

I think I reacted okay to my recent feedback. I think I reacted that way as I might have not completely agreed with the feedback that was given. One thing that I would do differently next time, maybe view the feedback from the other person's perspective before judging the feedback.

.............

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react?

I reacted with grace, and accepted the feedback, and worked to improve myself.

How did you feel?

I was surprised, but before I spoke I realized that the person giving feedback was right.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? �

I was a bit hurt because of the way the feedback was about my way of working - it was blunt and to the point.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I would have asked the person giving feedback for advice on how to improve.

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I was sad and a bit angry at first. I felt defensive. It was hard for me to accept the feedback as I thought I really gave my best but then I realized my mistakes and I'm still trying to improve myself. After watching the video, I'd like to be more calm and patient before reacting.

Hi @Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react?

On personal relationships: It's tough when it's negative feedback hahaa...

On professional life: It's normal and beneficial. Not overthinking it. It's nothing personal.

On being a listener: Recently I received a “love letter”/ coaching email about professionalism.

I didn't react to the email. I learned my lesson.

How did you feel?

I felt stupid and very disappointed both with myself and the member. Nanani nanana...a couple days later, the same person who filed for the report unblocked me and felt very bad. Oh well...

Why I reacted that way: because there's not much room for justification after all. A report in, I've made mistakes to learn from and that's it.

Why I felt that way: Didn't expect it because the person is a long term member.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I already did it in terms of work. I'll learn to react the same when receiving feedback or constructive criticism on a personal relationship.

❤️ Cheers!

Question: Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

How I reacted: The most recent feedback I received has to be when I applied for the forum supporter role. I did not get the role on my first try, so a project agent messaged me on what I need to work on. I was appreciative honestly.It's one thing to fail, but it's another thing to know why you failed. Naturally I was also a bit sad because I'm a very self-achieving person and failure hurts my self-esteem.

How I felt: I felt encouraged because the leader higlighted my strong points- so I knew I was capable of the role. I just needed to work on my weakenesses.

Why I think I felt that way:I think I reacted that way out of reflex. I've always been taught that failure is not a bad thing, but feeling as though you failed is.

What I would do differently after watching the video:The video was very educational. It proves that I am on the right track. I have learned new methods on how to accept feedback, especially when I feel overwhelmed. The next time I receive feedback, I will take a step back and reflect on what I am being corrected on.

@Heather225

How did you react? How did you feel?

The feedback that I received had me shocked at first, and made me feel anxious. I eventually felt happy though.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?

I reacted and felt that way because I feel as though feedback helps me know what I might need to improve. I was shocked by what was said because I believed I did pretty good for it being my first time doing that specific thing. Some part of me thought maybe the person had something against me, but I also moved on from that.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I would say "Thank you for the feedback you have given me, I will take this into consideration to improve.". I'd accept it without making any assumptions and feel glad that I have received feedback.

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

The most recent feedback I received I think it was a pleasant experience. I work with clients and often after a project or during an evaluation, feedback is exchanged and it is mostly a positive experience. I reacted positively, and felt good too. I like to learn and improve myself and a genuine feedback does help in doing so.

Thing I would do differently is that, I would thank them for the feedback and also if the feedback is negative, try to seperate me as a person from my work and keep in mind that they both are different entities.