Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #6) How to Accept Feedback
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Accepting feedback is a crucial part of being a good leader.
Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?
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what if you don't really want to be a leader but people give you their unsolicited feedback anyway:?!
@dworth257
Getting feedback is something everyone gets, regardless of being a leader. Leaders are just the people who give the most feedback. Feedback is for everyone, not just leaders. It is a learning experience if you accept it as such. Everyone has room for improvement and thats all feedback is, a suggestion for improvement.
@CognitiveACE
So true!
@CognitiveACE
I agree! Getting feedback on anything is an important part in growing, for everyone, regardless of if you're a leader or not!
@CognitiveACE
Leadership is a learning experience. Leaders give the most feedback.
@CognitiveACE
Thats so true !
@Heather225
Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?
Most Recent Feedback- About reporting people - I felt that the feedback was not great but I accept it and that reporting is still good to do .
How did I feel- I was just shocked to be honest that some behavior is acceptable by some and not others..
Why Do I think I reacted and felt the way i did - Because I am one who believes in following the rules set in place but of course I can break some rules myself nothing big but I am sure I do.
What would I do differently after watching Video- Nothing really because I learned and accepted what was told to me and understanding how reports are seperated and points given..
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
Yay! Keep the learning up!
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
It feels that you are hurt. I wish I could be of help. I wish you the best in your journey ahead.
@shiningSound31 Thanks for your reply but No I am not hurt I was not the one reported I had reported someone and had screen shots and nothing was done ... I am good no worries lol...just how i felt about it.
Thanks Tye... 
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
You sound like a really perceptive and appreciative person - also really calm and understanding! Kepp it up <3
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
even i learned that point through video that feedack is different and not to take personal.
@Tyedyedbutterfly65 I loved how honest you were in the last part of your answer !
@Tyedyedbutterfly65, I can understand how this made you feel. I myself am also a strict rule follower so when they aren't it can become frustrating among other things.
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
Even I was shocked to know that some behavior is acceptable by some and not others..
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
Thats a really moral and well explained answer
@Heather225
How did you react? The feedback was a little unexpected because I thought I did my best and was expecting to move to the next phase
How did you feel? I felt as though the feedback was necessary, because what I thought I understood, I really didn't
Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? It's never exciting to receive feedback because you don't know what the feedback is going to be about
What would you do differently after having watched the video? I need to realizse that there is always room for improvement and you can learn through receiving feedback
@CheeryMango
Inspiring!
@CheeryMango
Mango, I really like your answer to the last question. I wish you the best in your journey ahead!
@CheeryMango
Feedback is the best scope of learning. Great point noted. All the best!
@CheeryMango This was very inspiring Mango! Feedback is indeed necessary sometimes to understand if something in our approach is wrong and to improve it.
@CheeryMango
I agree! It's scary not knowing what the feedback might be, but it helps us grow :) most of the time
@CheeryMango
So beautifully explained
I just received some feedback from my graphic design team today and the feedback hurt me a bit since I worked really hard on a project but I understand that with this feedback I'll be able to grow as a person.
@softMusic9759
Whatever the feedback was, and even if we can always improve, I am sure that your work is amazing! Congratulations
@softMusic9759
I really liked your positive attitude toward receiving feedback. I wish you the best in your journey ahead!
@softMusic9759
So glad to see you are turning the emotions to a positive note! You will do great ahead. All the best!
@softMusic9759
I love how you were able to see the positive in the feedback and grow from it. Well done :)
@softMusic9759
that really nice perspective .
@Heather225
Hi! How are you?
I took the feedback, not with a smile (since it s hard for me, and it was from a challenging person), but I took it.
I felt very bad, like a terrible person.
I reacted and felt that way because of the lack of warmth in the feedback, and because of my self-esteem issues.
I could apply conflict resolution skills, even if it s not a conflict itself.
@Daf8 That makes sense that feedback expressed in a cold/harsh way would feel upsetting, especially if you were already feeling like "Ugh I'm not doing anything right." I definitely feel sometimes like I have to reword feedback or translate it into my own personal language to make it a bit gentler, warmer, and relevant to how I think about things before I'm able to accept, process, or act upon it. (And sometimes after thinking about an issue, I might honestly decide that there isn't anything that needs to be done or can be done right now.)
@QuietMagic
I agree! Thank you for your words
@Daf8
Though its not a conflict itself, its feedback acceptance, but very well compared. It is an internal conflict that we need to address. Sure conflict resolution techniques can be used in this context. All the best!
@peacefulWarrior10
Thank you for this! It means a lot. All the best for the best!
@Daf8
I agree that hearing feedback can sometimes make us feel angry because of our high self-esteem. But watching the video really helps to acknowledge that others don't have bad intentions and they only want to help us improve our skills. So at the end of the day it's good to have somebody pointing out exactly where you need to work on :)
@herealways27
I agree! As long as it's done with warmth, consideration and kindness, it's a chance to improve! Thank you for your thoughtful message! You are amazing
@Heather225
Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video? The last few times I've received feedback, it has been a positive experience. I'm new to a role and I expect feedback since I am still learning. The person who is training me wants me to do well in my role and I know they are giving suggestions for improvement. There are times when feedback stings because I may have felt I'd done my best. For me, asking clarifying questions or asking for examples of best practices goes a long way in showing my willingness to accept feedback. So, keeping in mind that I want to do the best job and my trainer wants me to do the best job is helpful because it is a shared goal.
@PeaceLoveandPaws
Yesss!! Having the same goals helps a lot when it comes to receiving feedback. I haven't thought about it like that!
Yes! It is a shared goal, and the people giving you feedback want the best for you :)
@Heather225
Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?: When I think about the most recent feedback I received( which was a few weeks ago), I was at first shocked, angry, sad and I really got offended. I felt and reacted that way because I though I did nothing wrong and I felt attacked. However, I gradually came to accept what I did wrong. So what would I do differently after the video- I will listen carefully as the feedback helps and not see it as a form of criticism.
@azuladragon34
You are so right about this! I think if we can avoid feeling offended, we can hear the feedback and use it for improvement. That is a great point :)
@Heather225
Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?
The most recent negative feedback, made me wonder of it was right, and i felt misundrestood and hurt. I felt that way because those were not my intentions. After watching video, i think i would not have acted in denial but stepped away and have been more receptive and appreciate them for the feedabck which helped me realise that i was not clear in my communication and need to work on it
@blissart
Totally get it, I was in the same way where I felt like I wasn't being helpful too. But you've tried your best, don't doubt yourself.
@blissart
I really admire how you were able to rethink the process of receiving feedback! Good work :)
@blissart
it good of you to see what you need to work on. Keep up the good work.
@Heather225
Most recent feedback I received: someone gave me feedback on a book that Im writing.
How did I react: I reacted pretty much how the video said. I said thank you to them, because they took the time to read the chapter that I showed them and then asked them how they thought I could improve on it. A couple of days later, I showed it to them again and they said that they liked it a lot more than the original.
How did I feel: I felt a bit upset and deflated, writing a book can be really hard and takes a lot of time to do so it made me wonder if I should just give up on the idea because I felt as though I wasnt getting it right.
Why: I reacted this way because I wanted to let them know that I appreciated it and I also wanted to know why they thought it could be improved and what I had done wrong. I felt this way because Ive been writing this book for a very long time and I have edited it a lot, changed plot lines, how its laid out etc so after doing all that work it felt a bit discouraging to hear there were parts that still werent up to standard (although I know this completely normal as books take time!)
What would I do differently: I dont think Id do anything differently. I listened to their feedback, I thanked them for reading it, I asked how I could improve and I showed them my work again after I edited it. I feel like you cant really change youre automatic feelings for something but you can change how you react. I wouldnt tell myself to not feel upset next time because I feel its a normal thing. However, what I would do is tell myself (after the initial feeling) to feel proud of what they also praised and that its okay to feel upset but to test out what they say and see what works best, you may be surprised that you actually love it! Id also tell myself that it shows how much they care for me (as long as its constructive feedback) because it takes a real friend/someone who cares about you to help you grow and improve, anyone can say that youre doing great, it takes thought to find the things to improve and help someone.
@bookworm27
Really deep words here. I agree!
@bookworm274
That's the thing about receiving feedback. It does not always have to have a negative tone to it. It can help us grow. I'm glad you were able to take it, make the adequate changes, and they noticed the improvement. That's awesome.
@Heather225
How did you react?
I thanked them for pointing out my mistake and spending time to correct me.
How did you feel?
I felt quite grateful to them for giving me feedback. They pointed out something that I never noticed before and if they hadn't pointed out, i perhaps might never have learnt it.
Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?
I dont believe that anyone is really perfect, we all have a lot to learn. There is always enough room for improvement. All feedbacks are important and helps us to learn and grow.
What would you do differently after having watched the video?
Next time I get a feedback, the first thing I would do is to take a deep breath and see myself seperate from my work.
@positivePumpkin22 I love what you've said that everyone has room for improvement. I find it exciting to imagine that things are deep and rich enough that no matter where I'm at, there are going to be new innovations, insights, and enhancements/optimizations waiting to be discovered. 