Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #6) How to Accept Feedback
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Accepting feedback is a crucial part of being a good leader.
Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?
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Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?
I received feedback regarding my job! Whenever I get feedback, I usually feel really anxious and I feel as though someone has confronted me with something. In my heart I know that it's not the way that they meant, but I take it that way. I know I can improve on this by understanding that feedback is out of love and consideration for me, not out of malicious intent.
@smolecho
I've struggled with taking feedback the wrong way as well. Sometimes, it's not easy to receive it if it comes off as negative.
@smolecho
Sometimes we can take things the wrong ways when people have the best intentions for us.
Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?
I loved that video. It reminded me and consolidated my learning. Feedback can be hard to accept. There are many types of feedback and sometimes graciously acknowledging what was said can be a good approach. I think that often feedback and constructive criticism are confused by some people. I already follow those tips and I do find they work for the most part.
Listening - One Step At A Time!
@Heather225
How did I react?
-I was open-minded. Ive learned from years of experience not to take feedback personally. It is almost always constructive and not ill-mannered
How did you feel?
-I wasnt ecstatic about it, but I was glad they told me what I wanted to work on.
Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?
-Because I used to take it personal, so I have flashbacks of negative feedback I have received and how it made me feel.
What would you do differently after having watched the video?
- Now that I am older and more receptive, I will continue to take feedback with grace and remember it is to better myself at all my crafts.
@shiningDay80
It's great to know that you know to take feedback with grace! Nice post!
@Heather225
Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?
The most recent feedback received made me feel wholesome and profound. It was also constructive as well. I think it was profound because having little feedback and not reading minds means that I do not 100% know how others perceive me.
Thankfully, I have some parameters now.
Something I could do differently? Not much. The video did a good job at summarizing: staying calm, listening, being receptive, appreciative and ask for follow-up. I might not be as forward in asking for follow-up because it depends on the specific environment you are in.
@SynSavory That makes sense--I have a similar feeling sometimes that I'm relieved to know what other people are thinking as opposed to it being a mystery where I'm unsure how my actions are being received. 
@Heather225
How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?
I think I was a little sad at the beginning, but instead of reacting right away, I took some time for myself to think more about it and reflect on it. I think I felt much better about it after that and was thankful for the feedback. So I took the feedback well and talked to them more about the ways I can do better. I don't think I would have done anything differently but it was a really good video!
Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?
I recently received some feedback in the form of a rejection when asked for a letter of recommendation. It was upsetting because I had thought that I had put a lot of effort into the class, and also due to the cold professional tone of the response. It also left me wondering where I had been lacking as a student, and where it fit in with my engagement and performance in the classroom recently, and after some hours reflecting and thinking, I was able to come to a conclusion that I think explains why I may have been rejected and where and how I can do better as a student. After watching the video, I think I will try to ask how I can improve while receiving feedback, as that is a response that I have not practiced much yet.
@Heather225
I have some clients at work who can be a bit angry/belligerent when they find a problem with something, which can cause some frustration/anxiety at times.
What my coworkers and I usually try to do is talk internally and manage our own feelings before responding. Sometimes we'll give each other support/reassurance (e.g. that we are okay, hard-working, valuable people). Other times, we'll try to defuse our own frustration or lighten the mood by approaching the situation with a sense of humor.
When responding to the actual issue itself, some things we try to do are:
- Pretend that the client has expressed their concern in a mature way, even if they haven't--i.e. just focus on the core problem that they're complaining about.
- Try not to take what they've said too personally
- Respond in a neutral/professional tone
- Acknowledge the underlying concern and its legitimacy
- Take action to resolve the issue (including sometimes putting preventative measures in place to catch/avoid future issues of a similar nature)
- Try to keep the client informed every step of the way (i.e. provide regular status updates on what we're doing to address their issue and when we expect it to be resolved)
Something that was mentioned in the video that I already do sometimes but would feel comfortable doing more of is thanking the other person for pointing out the issue.
@QuietMagic Restructuring/reordering my response to fit into the 4-part format expected in the original post and in the Course 2 completion form. Changes/new responses are in red.
1) Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react?
I have some clients at work who can be a bit angry/belligerent when they find a problem with something.
What my coworkers and I usually try to do is talk internally and manage our own feelings before responding. Sometimes we'll give each other support/reassurance (e.g. that we are okay, hard-working, valuable people). Other times, we'll try to defuse our own frustration or lighten the mood by approaching the situation with a sense of humor.
When responding to the actual issue itself, some things we try to do are:
- Pretend that the client has expressed their concern in a mature way, even if they haven't--i.e. just focus on the core problem that they're complaining about.
- Try not to take what they've said too personally
- Respond in a neutral/professional tone
- Acknowledge the underlying concern and its legitimacy
- Take action to resolve the issue (including sometimes putting preventative measures in place to catch/avoid future issues of a similar nature)
- Try to keep the client informed every step of the way (i.e. provide regular status updates on what we're doing to address their issue and when we expect it to be resolved)
2) Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you feel?
Receiving feedback from this client which can cause some frustration/anxiety at times, because sometimes their expectations are overly demanding/unreasonable and they sometimes present it in a personal way that portrays us as irresponsible human beings on a global level.
3) Think about the most recent feedback you received: Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?
Expressed in #2: their feedback tends to be presented in the form of a personal attack and their suggestions aren't always realistic or practically feasible.
4) Think about the most recent feedback you received: What would you do differently after having watched the video?
Something that was mentioned in the video that I already do sometimes but would feel comfortable doing more of is thanking the other person for pointing out the issue. Other than that, I believe the way I'm currently handling their feedback is appropriate and works well both on a practical and emotional level.
How did you react?
I thanked them for providing me the feedback and worked on it.
How did you feel?
I felt good because someone out there took their time out to make sure I understood my flaws and provided a way of being better to me. I felt grateful.
Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?
I felt this way because I myself strive every day to become a better person and if someone helps me to do it. I know that I am not alone in the process which is amazing at the end of the day.
What would you do differently after having watched the video?
I will now know how important its impact is and how to properly take it.
@VerseArt
That's a really positive response to feedback and I love to hear it!
@Heather225
Think about the most recent feedback you received:
How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?
In the most recent feedback, I listened to it carefully. To decipher and understand how genuine the feedback is, so that I can reflect on it to improve my growth. I was a defensive after listening to the feedback, however I tried to change my actions accordingly. Something I would do differently after watching thevideo is ask to set up a schedule/plan for a change and better outcome.
Think about the most recent feedback you received: It was by my grandmother that I look terrible. Actually I was awake the previous night so she was right.
How did you react? I accepted and said that I will try sleeping early.
How did you feel? Awkward
Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? I think because I was reading the book secretly and didn't expect anyone to know I pulled an all nighter.
What would you do differently after having watched the video? I would now accept it happily and try not to be up late.
@Petrichor2000
so relate, I'm a night owl too