Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #5) Approaching Conflict Resolution: Dealing with Issues Directly

1. I have often found myself at the heart of conflicts with my friends. I can tend to be stubborn and I often try to “read between the lines”, which can lead to a lot of misinterpretation. I have learned, through many struggles and upsets, just how crucial it is to “trust” the other person when they say what they feel or think—to not try to over-interpret or ascribe undue meaning unto their words.

2. The number one tip that I would suggest with regard to facilitating healthy conflict resolution is to assume the best of people. Assume that they don’t want to hurt you, that they want to understand and collaborate with you—otherwise they wouldn’t be bothering to engage in this conflict with you. There is always possibility to work as a team rather than as opponents.

@Heather225

1) Have you ever been on either side of a conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

Yes, I have. Usually, I try to listen to the other person's point of view and remind myself that they're entitled to their opinions. Then, I try to talk to them calmly.

2) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

I think before talking to the person; you should try to calm yourself down. The only way it won't result in a fight is if you're calm. Also, I found this picture useful!

Yes unfortunately I've had the difficult challenge of conflict resolution in my school many a time. The way to did it was instead of letting them talk online where words can be taken out of context without the tone to show the meaning behind the words. Get them in a room togther and let them talk it out. It can be awkward at first but they get bored and eventually talk out their differences. 🙂

My tip is don't look at it from the perspective of who they are to you (eg friend, family member, colleague) try take an impersonal stance. It can help you see the objective facts clearer. 🙂

1.) Have you ever been on either side of a conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

Once, I was accused of not doing my part in a group project. My group members triangulated and went straight to the teacher without speaking to me first, who immediately started yelling at me. In the heat of the moment, they refused to make any compromises or accept any explanations, so I simply started apologising and taking responsibility for everything.

I ended up swallowing my pride and meeting the demands they made, and even though the conflict was not resolved that day, it was slowly resolved over time. My group mates could tell I was putting in a lot of effort to try harder, and they relented. Even though it was tiring to pu tin so much effort, and I felt maligned, I also learned to understand their working styles and accommodate them. Ultimately, we finished the project on a peaceful note, so I'm glad I decided to relent first and stop the argument.

2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

I find that if both parties can take a moment to step away from the situation and just breathe, it helps everyone to cool down and think, and then come back to review the situation more calmly. A quick 5 minute time out is sometimes all it takes for both parties to see where they've been wrong

@Heather225

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
It has helped me to step back for some time and later on having a calmfull approach on what happened

2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Being open-minded and trying to see their perspective helps to understand them better and give us an idea on an appropriate approach about the situation

@Heather225

1) yes I had gotten myself in some arguments without I'm realizing it. Until one point I speak up since I can't handle all those tensions for too long and I am done with it.

2) apologize even if it's not your fault. Don't make fun of them. Be straightforward.

@Heather225

1.) Have you ever been on either side of the conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Well, I haven't faced any such situation here at 7Cups and I guess this problem sure does occur in our lives be it at work, your personal life, friends, etc. Conflict should be welcomed after all it churns things and makes space for evolution. The most primary aspect I feel is to stay silent, take time, think, articulate, and then put forward our opinion.

2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
I think pretty much all the points I had in mind, the ones which I use to resolve conflicts were listed out here. To rephrase those in my own words - One just needs to be patient and not formulate any assumptions. One needs to be calm to think and come to some conclusion. One needs to be open in his/her mind to welcome and respect the conflicting opinion and give it a fair chance. One needs to nonjudgemental about others. No matter what, the opinions and individuals need to be respected. This would help handle the conflict gracefully.

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

Yes I have been! Being in school and working it is something that is sometimes not preventable . I always find the best way to resolve conflict is to take a step back and allow myself to take some deep breaths and fully analyze the situation. I always try and put myself in the other persons shoes and see their perspective as well, I never point fingers or just blame others.

2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

I think as I mentioned above it’s always a great idea to take a step back and see the other persons perspective. Apologize when needed and talk things through, and then leave it in the past. Don’t keep bringing up what happened as that will only result in further conflict.

Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Yes, I have but not on 7 Cups. We (the other person and me) usually take some cooling-down time before we talk about the issue. We discussed it from our each point-of-view then we tried reaching an agreement on this question, "What should we do to avoid this issue to happen in the future?"

Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
I think everything has been covered.
Being calm, speak with your heart ("I feel ______ "), take turn to speak and listen to get the full and big picture of the issue, use active listening skill (repeat if necessary to avoid misiterpretations), agreeing on what to do next and/or when similar things happen.

@Heather225

yes i have been in conflict before. i took a step back, after calming down, evaluated the situation and how i acted, i tried to see the other side's perspective and took responsibilty for my role.

it helps to try and see where the other side is coming from.