Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #5) Approaching Conflict Resolution: Dealing with Issues Directly
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Any  community is going to go through challenges and sometimes people are going to be in conflict with one another or have disagreements. All of that is okay and should be welcomed and even expected. The trick is to figure out what is the best way to address these issues so that we can continue to grow individually and as a community. Most ethical codes for professions recommend approaching the person that you have an issue with to try to resolve it with them first. If you feel safe and comfortable, then that is the best way to go. Here are some other helpful guidelines for conflict resolution brought to you by @Tazzie (original post)!
â  Step back and slow down
â  Avoid repeating unhelpful behaviors in conflicts.
â  Habits can be changed through awareness.
â  Think before you put your words across in order to avoid something that will escalate the conflict.
â  Show clarity regarding your intentions and goals for the conversation
â  Avoid blaming or changing another person's point of view.
â  Listen to learn something new and express your views and feelings professionally.
â  Avoid assumptions and ask questions to explore the other persons story
â  Listen to the person on the opposite end as they will more likely try to understand you.
â  Do not convince them you are right.
â  Be aware of potential barriers to listening.
â  Express your feelings without holding the other person accountable for the conflict
â  Use I statements to express yourself.
â  State a feeling rather than judging.
â  Be responsible for your assumptions
â  On the internet, messages can be interpreted in several ways. To think that your beliefs and conclusions about  others are the truth, will only escalate the conflict.
â  Share your interpretation of the messages received.
â  Find a common ground
â Reaching a common ground will make it easier to resolve the conflict and will diffuse defensiveness.
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Question time!
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
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@Heather225
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Throughout my teenage years, I have been on both sides. But it is vague in my memory. Typically I am on both sides of the coin so it is difficult to say. If a resolution needed to be made, I would adjust or else take everything on my shoulder. But as we get older and learn from experiences, our approach changes. The article mentioned on conflict-resolution is perfect to apply and it is very professional. It is one I would stick to to avoid conflict, aggression, loss and negativity.
Other tips could include being positive, avoid negative analysis of the situation, have hope that things will turn out well, keep a firm mindset that you do not want to hurt the other person and instead want to help and resolve the conflict, remember that it is not personal, write a list of positive things about the other person so not to get wrong or negative ideas when arguing and choose a positive environment to settle the conflict as that too can have an impact on decision-making.
@Heather225
1) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Yes, I own a company and there are times where conflicts arise and cannot necessarily be avoided; I always tend to keep myself as open-minded as possible and validate others` thoughts and perspectives, by keeping a professional and non-judgmental atmosphere. I believe communication is one of the most important skills in such situations; also, both parts have to be aware that, in some cases, common grounds require both sides to renounce at certain ideas and embrace views coming from the other side as well. Balance in such practice is essential.
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
List all points of disagreement and professionally communicate and decide what sort of adjustments all these could suffer, in order to become acceptable for both sides.
@Ines1229
Agreed. Oftentimes communications skills is essential to deliver the message efficiently and to de-escalate conflict effectively.
Thanks for sharing Ines ♡
@Heather225
1. Have you ever been on either side of a conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Yes at work, I always step up to resolve issues between my colleagues and even between my bosses, I do my best to de-escalate the situation trying to find reason without taking sides or being judgemental.
2. Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Don’t validate inappropriate behavior, allow everyone to speak themselves, be neutral and don’t take sides, don’t be judgemental.
I like. The. Way you said that . @Anexmos
@Heather225
1.) Have you ever been on either side of the conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
I have come across such a situation many times but I chose to avoid getting involved and helped my colleagues in my own way. For instance: I have witnessed backbiting & strangulation at the workplace where one friend used to gossip about another friend. I told them politely to avoid gossiping rather suggested they both talk to each other about it.
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
I feel that we must avoid spreading unconfirmed news and not participate in forwarding them (even a single word) without being sure about it. We need to stop being messengers of rumors that might spoil a person's image. In my opinion, these messengers who choose to talk about one person to another - fuel conflicts which make it nearly impossible to resolve them.
@Heather225
1.) Have you ever been on either side of the conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Yes, I have. Conflict resolution can be difficult for everyone involved, getting into feelings and emotions. One important way to keep it on a resolution path is to not find someone to "blame" but find a solution.
2.) Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Try to see the conflict through the other person's space and understand their situation.
Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Yes, many times. In my job there is a lot of conflict, high emotions, etc. with clients, and also with staff as it is an intense job. The biggest way to resolve is giving the person space to talk. With clients, it is sitting back, letting them vent, validate their feelings, and talk about ways to resolve the situation moving forward, what can we do to support them.
With staff it is the same thing, a lot of times emotions are running high, people feel misunderstood and want to be heard and validated. It is often not about fixing the situation. As a supervisor, it is about giving them space to vent, cry, and release emotions and ask how they need supported now and in the future.
Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
One important thing I learned is making sure I am managing my own emotions during crucial conversations. I am not always given space and time to manage conflict, but if given the chance, asking the person if we can talk at a set date and time to make sure it is not sprung on them and also ensuring we are in a good emotional space to have crucial conversation.
Well said @Containedchaos
@Heather225
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1.) Have you ever been on either side of the conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Yes, I have been in multiple conflict resolution problems. The way I usually resolve a conflict between parties is to listen to the stories each party has to say. After that, have a discussion together on why this problem is resulting in a conflict.
2.) Can you think of any tips that we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
I think that the key to resolving a conflict is having patience. Sometimes emotions may run high in these conflicts, thus a calm nature should be used to solve the problem.
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1 yes I have I had other people help me and person work it out.
2 hear them out , open minded , work on a solution toegether and let each person ask questions so they can understand what happened.
@Heather225
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
I have helped people manage their conflict resolution in the past, and I think that most of what we did has been listed here — mostly just trying to step back, take a breath and go in without assumptions. I have also found myself within conflict before, one particularly notable example was resolved with both of us speaking about how we were feeling and properly discussing it rather than avoiding the topic.
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
I think that this is a pretty comprehensive list. Attempting to view the other person's side of things is always a particularly helpful tool to employ, I think.
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Yes. In this case the person above me in the hierarchy was not acting appropriately, so I asked the person above us for counsel.
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Avoid overly investing emotions into a conversation, especially when the other person is not thinking rationally.
