Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #5) Approaching Conflict Resolution: Dealing with Issues Directly
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Any  community is going to go through challenges and sometimes people are going to be in conflict with one another or have disagreements. All of that is okay and should be welcomed and even expected. The trick is to figure out what is the best way to address these issues so that we can continue to grow individually and as a community. Most ethical codes for professions recommend approaching the person that you have an issue with to try to resolve it with them first. If you feel safe and comfortable, then that is the best way to go. Here are some other helpful guidelines for conflict resolution brought to you by @Tazzie (original post)!
â  Step back and slow down
â  Avoid repeating unhelpful behaviors in conflicts.
â  Habits can be changed through awareness.
â  Think before you put your words across in order to avoid something that will escalate the conflict.
â  Show clarity regarding your intentions and goals for the conversation
â  Avoid blaming or changing another person's point of view.
â  Listen to learn something new and express your views and feelings professionally.
â  Avoid assumptions and ask questions to explore the other persons story
â  Listen to the person on the opposite end as they will more likely try to understand you.
â  Do not convince them you are right.
â  Be aware of potential barriers to listening.
â  Express your feelings without holding the other person accountable for the conflict
â  Use I statements to express yourself.
â  State a feeling rather than judging.
â  Be responsible for your assumptions
â  On the internet, messages can be interpreted in several ways. To think that your beliefs and conclusions about  others are the truth, will only escalate the conflict.
â  Share your interpretation of the messages received.
â  Find a common ground
â Reaching a common ground will make it easier to resolve the conflict and will diffuse defensiveness.
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Question time!
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
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@Heather225
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
1.) Yes, I have in some cases. In situations like this, I avoid blaming the other person because it's all about perspective. Instead I try to give it more clarity by expressing my feelings or emotions instead during a conflict.
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
2) All tips are on point, Listening with empathy is something that can be facilated during conflict-resolution.
Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
I talked it out with them. It was a calming experience.
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
To confront them and talk with them about it. It's better to be direct in approach and try to solve it.
@Heather225
Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
🌸 Yes, I've been there multiple times. Taking a neutral stand and listening to both sides before coming to a conclusion has helped me.
Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
🌸 Understanding how they feel by putting ourselves in their shoes and avoiding judging remarks help de-escalate the situation. I personally find it helpful when I take a step back and then reassess the situation, helps avoid sudden oubursts
I think that is good to stay neutral and then decide for yourself after listening to both sides
hello there!
I totally love The point you made. Listening and trying to empathize is extremely, at least to me, important no matter What.
thank you for mentioning it.
Sending energy and strenght!
Lots of love,
🌸Hana🌸
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
I have definitely had to deal with conflict! I tend to resolve it by taking time to calm myself or let the other person calm down. Talking is best done honestly and calmly. From there, it's a matter of sharing and actively listening.
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Regulate, relate, reason. (First calm yourself, then find common ground, then share your idea.)
I agree with your perspective on how to handle conflict
Hello Jaimie!
I love love love your response! Three R’s are super cool thing and i think i will remember it for long looong time.
I totally cherish it, Thank you.
Sending energy and strenght!
Lots of love,
🌸Hana🌸
I agree with you🌹
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Yes, I have. The way I resolve it first gives both of us a period to calm down, as myself calm down, I can see the conflict clearer, and give myself a better idea of what to do next. And I won't avoid or hide from my own responsibilities, the longer you avoid conflict, the harder to resolve it.
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
As I mentioned, the longer you trying to avoid, you'll find it harder to resolve it later on. Even it's all online.
@Irena0225
Great post! I agree that the longer you wait to resolve a conflict, the harder it is to get it resolved.
@Irena0225 That's true! Keeping calm takes practice but can always make you think more clearly and resolve problems successfully.
@Irena0225
I think giving youself and other person a bit of time to calm down is a fantastic idea! If we neglect to do that, it can lead to upsetting things being said.
Hi @Irena0225
"the longer you avoid conflict, the harder to resolve it." Excellent point. Love it. ♡
Cheers! ❤️
@Irena0225
I agree! When you wait longer, it gets harder to resolve the conflict
@Heather225
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it? I have definitely been on both sides of a conflict resolution situation. I have realized that it does no good to keep bickering back and forth because neither of you will get anywhere. I have realized that being calm is the first step and then discussing both sides of the story to get a bette understanding is the best way to come to a resolution.
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution? I think that a third party mediator can sometimes be really helpful is things can't be solved just between the two parties. I think it's essential that the third party be unbiased!
@LittleBirdie30
Awesome job! :)
@LittleBirdie30 This definitely is a great conflict resolution techinique for the community! Don't hesitate toask for help from other leaders!
@LittleBirdie30
Yes! Being calm is a good step in ensuring the conflict gets resolved.
@Heather225
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Yes, I have. Conflict resultion can be difficult for everyone involved, getting into feelings and emotions. One important way to keep it on a resolution path is to not find someone to "blame" but find a solution.
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Not really! Conflict resolution is something that needs swift action to avoid the spread of toxicness or unhealthy triangulation.
@CompassionateDreamer8522
Keep up the great work! :)
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
I have! I had to step back and relax a little bit, then try work it out with the other person. Talking is the way we solved, it and although it took a while, it really helped.
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Try and actually listen/keep an open mind. When we are angry it can be hard to hear the other person out, so it is an important thing to remember!
@cocoakrispies121
I totally agree! Communication is honestly the key to everything. It needs to be taught more often. I'm glad you resolved it and knew to take a step back! Especially like you said, anger means we block out everyone else. If I may say this- when we are angry, we want to be heard and understood. That's all we want, and like you said, keeping an open mind and listening ear is SO important to diminish the anger and get back onto calm talking terms. :)
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Yes! I have been in a situation with one of my friends before. I decided to take a step back before doing anything, and then when I felt calmer talked to them about it. I actually used a lot of "I" statements and I made sure I wasn't assigning blame to them. It did work out!
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
I would say that it can ge helpful to remove yourself from the situation for a little bit in order to calm down. When you are in the moment, you might say things you don't mean, and that certainly doesn't help with conflict resolution. Taking a step back can be really helpful, but not in order to avoid resolving it, just to calm down.
@hopedreamlove
I like how you added at the end "it can be helpful to step back but not avoid it". That part of the sentence is so important to emphasise on! Avoidance doesn't get the issue resolved, communication does. Good on you for using I statements- that's important so nobody feels attacked or the need to put up walls and defend themselves! :)
@Heather225
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
- I was the third person between my younger brother and our mom. They had a conflict with each other and I got them both together and was able to create the atmosphere for discussion. I gave one the opportunity to express concerns without the other one interrupting and then vice versa. They were able to come up with best approach resolve it and determine future solutions.
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
- create a good atmosphere where individuals can express their pain and fears freely.
- Allow the parties conflicts to discuss their challenges and discover an agreed solutions without your interference.
@Beaconx
Hey! Amazing work for being the mediator between both parties. I agree with creating a calm environment where they can converse freely without interruptions. You have good communication skills by the sounds of it! Keep up the awesome work :)
@Beaconx
I love that you were able to help them find a solution for their problems! It's a trait I admire Beacon!