Eva’s Crazy Mind

“your mindset can change with a snap. you just choose to think all negative all the time”

the f*cking “i’m sad to see you do this to yourself”

*** *** ***

@justmeeva

…the fact that she makes no effort… she doesn’t even try to understand. there’s a whole lot of other *** going on in life. so many other things that hurt 💜 so much that makes you overwhelmed 😔 so much to deal with every day. :( i’m so sorry that on top of all that she judges so much and doesn’t try to understand :( those questions and words… mm they v meanie mcbeanie 😞 *huggies eva friend if okie* i’m v sorry eva bean :( 

@LoveMyMoonflowers

@justmeeva

gonna go i’m so *** done

@justmeeva 

i relapsed. 

i saw him and he said “ey that’s eva” and there was that other person i’ve been trying to forget too and i waved and smiled at them and then walked away and called my mom to pick me up and we came to her workplace and i went to the bathroom and i relapsed

his voice haunted me and my hands started shaking and everything i’ve worked on came *** flushing down

every *** thing i’ve done to forget, it was all pointless

i’m back to the *** start i give up

i don’t know what mom’s gonna do when she finds out since i’m supposed to stop wearing sleeves by the end of the week but i don’t *** care

my hands are still shaking

can’t right now bye

@justmeeva *sits with you* I'm sorry to hear you relapsed. I know she doesn't understand and that she wants what she wants. Relapses happen. It's a lousy coping method we all know it. Her making demands for it to just stop doesn't help it just adds more pressure 😕

@justmeeva i hope ur safe and ur mom will be…bearable, atleast 💖

@justmeeva

*sits with you too* 💜

a teacher asked me how i was doing. “good” i said. “good”. *** “good”- lol.

i only come here to post rn btw it’s nothing personal i just can’t do more idk

@justmeeva

it's okay lovely. 💜 

@justmeeva it’s okay ❤️ 

i could run away if i wanted to. 

eva obsessing over the sky again. 

@justmeeva

so prettyy 🥰

@justmeeva Such beautiful colors! 

she saw them

she *** saw them 

i forgot to put on the sleeves when i fell asleep and she came to wake me up and she *** saw them

i’m so *** stupid

why the *** does everything just keep getting worse what am i doing wrong

why the *** does life want to get rid of me so bad

“they look recent” is the sentence i woke up to. 

“it’s only a matter of time until other people find out aswell

but that’s your goal isn’t it”

@justmeeva

she really doesn’t understand anything 😞 i wish people wouldn’t freaking judge before they even freaking try to understand. 😞 

“i don’t understand why you just make your life harder with this” yeah neither do i but oh *** well

*** everything

if i’m honest, if i could turn all my emotions off, i maybe would. 

and i mean i’ve tried, i’ve tried to just- not feel, and sometimes it happens by itself, but.. there’s no guarantee yk. they still come back sometime.