Eva’s Crazy Mind
i’ve wanted to make a forum post like that for quite a while now, but never brought myself to actually make it. here i will write up all sorts of thoughts and vents, everything i need to get off my mind. it’s not gonna be positive or motivational, not even close. i personally don’t recommend reading it just because it doesn’t help lol. you’re welcome to read, replies are okay, just be aware that it’s gonna be a pretty dark place. i don’t usually ask for help despite telling everybody to. idk why. i’m not a very good example of what’s right to do. TW just in case, not planning to go that far but who knows.
i’m making myself this space because sometimes you can feel lonely while being surrounded by a million people and that’s nobody’s fault.
best wishes to you. ❤️
i don’t know how it works in other schools or other countries, but in my school there are those student-teacher talks at the end (i think) of every semester that’s like reflection and *** and there’s always 2 days specifically for those meetups where you just go to school at a specific time and they last about an hour. start and end of school year are usually student-parent-teacher, middle of school year is student(s)-teacher.
that’s just for context.
we had those today and on monday. mine’s on monday. i already know it’s gonna go so ***. i’m gonna have to tell a bunch of lies and just make something up. i don’t know what or how much i’m gonna tell. how much truth. i don’t know.
that same week, on 2 days, we’ll practice the talks for when you move to 10th grade, all those acceptance talks and whatever. i don’t know *** about anything after 9th.
i don’t even know my options. i don’t know any other schools besides mine. man i’m not even going to 9th what do i tell them about where i want to continue. do i make something up? just- pick a random school and say “oh yeah that’s my dream”?
*sigh*.
let’s be honest, i’m ***.
and i’m probably gonna cry.
i just love life <3.
oh, and we’re going to dad’s for the weekend. one weekend’s mom’s, the next dad’s, etc. he still has no idea about my, uh, situation. and it’s good. i don’t want our relationship to change in any way. he can’t know.
i hope we’re staying at his place. that would mean just me and siblings, and him. alternative choice is that we go to grandparents’, which means like, at least 4 more people. at least. i can’t do people right now. even if they’re nice, i can’t. if it were my choice, i’d stay home completely. but that wouldn’t be fair to dad. he wants to spend time with us, with me.
*sigh*.
oh, and..
they’re (they, not we) going to a spa/waterpark next week too. i skipped it last time aswell. i already know that one girl is gonna ask or confront me about it.
