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Eva’s Crazy Mind

justmeeva January 21st

i’ve wanted to make a forum post like that for quite a while now, but never brought myself to actually make it. here i will write up all sorts of thoughts and vents, everything i need to get off my mind. it’s not gonna be positive or motivational, not even close. i personally don’t recommend reading it just because it doesn’t help lol. you’re welcome to read, replies are okay, just be aware that it’s gonna be a pretty dark place. i don’t usually ask for help despite telling everybody to. idk why. i’m not a very good example of what’s right to do. TW just in case, not planning to go that far but who knows. 

i’m making myself this space because sometimes you can feel lonely while being surrounded by a million people and that’s nobody’s fault.

best wishes to you. ❤️

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justmeeva OP May 13th

i guess you could say i made a deal with depression. that it would comfort me and be there with it’s familiar presence, and in return, i’ll let it win. 

justmeeva OP May 13th

“together until the end” hehe. :’)

justmeeva OP May 13th

and that’s okay. 

justmeeva OP May 13th

(tw.)

mean but fair enough thoughts: 

6 replies
justmeeva OP May 13th

i’m not traumatised enough

justmeeva OP May 13th

i’m not struggling enough to struggle 

justmeeva OP May 13th

i smile and laugh too much for someone who’s supposedly at the lowest point of her life 

justmeeva OP May 13th
i’m sorry if i used to say i’d always be there, i didn’t know i would turn to this s******l train wreck
justmeeva OP May 13th
28/04/24 was supposed to be the day i’d leave. 
it was *** supposed to. 
i wish i would have. 
justmeeva OP May 14th
maybe death is the only way to make it all stop. 
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justmeeva OP May 13th

“i’m scared.. 

it feels like you don’t care”


justmeeva OP May 13th

one thing’s for sure. i won’t get into any new people’s lives. and i’m not letting any new people into mine either. whether on cups or irl. it’s pointless now. i have nothing to give and nothing i want to take. besides, what’s the use for someone who’ll leave just like that anyway? the less people know, the better. it’s easier that way. 

2 replies
May 13th

@justmeeva

...💗 i love you.. i hope you're alright <3 *hugs if okei*

1 reply
justmeeva OP May 14th

@yyeyiiLy 

*hugs you back* <3

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justmeeva OP May 13th

that’s- just not possible. 

justmeeva OP May 13th

you’re *** with me right

justmeeva OP May 13th

i-

justmeeva OP May 13th

the *** is the chance that right after posting that, i get tagged to reconnect with someone. i barely know them.