my journal: various subjects, opinionating, CW at times
The title explains itself.
If you're interested in the ramblings of a middle-aged man with chronic conditions who, at times, sees things a little too clearly for his own good, then read on.
Sometimes I get political, but it won't be all the time.
I don't mind comments in general but if you're going to differ with what I write, that's fine--as long as you can explain your position clearly & reasonably. Rants, shouting & general incoherence will be ignored or flagged, depending on the situation. Try to remember that not everyone else in this world holds your beliefs.
Every so often I may post art or snapshots of projects I'm working on.
If you're still interested after reading all the above, great. (I do wonder at how much time you have on your hands, though)
What's with this new thread/display structure?? It is a pile of cow💩. Seriously.
We gotta convince Glen & the other officials to bring back the branching thread structure we used to have. Who's with me on this?
@slowdecline48
me \('-' )/ also some threads whren I clicked it because there is new post on (.... thread name), it says "not found" ('-')
@VictoriaLove7 From what I understand depending on what is said the algorithm is picking up on some ne.gativity which can apparently be de.feated with oddly plac.ed punctuation. It's just ano.ther fine example of ce.nsorship and tell.ing everyone that ba.d feel.ings and neg.ativity are unaccep.table.
@mytwistedsoul
The algorithm 😤
But this is a mental health platform we should be allowed to have a bit of negativity 👉👈☺
Also, if something is not broken why change or replace it with something else? 👉👈😯
@mytwistedsoul
It let's 🤭 me typed 'negativity', Soul 🐭
I'm gonna try bad romance is a song title by Lady Gaga 😁
Another 😄
My father thinks that not fulfilling his demands is unacceptable
@VictoriaLove7 Lol! I'm not sure which words will set off the censor. 😄 So I just add the punctuation randomly 😂
@mytwistedsoul That explains why two of my comments have apparently disappeared. *smfh*
I already had doubts about this place since we talked much earlier about listeners (particularly your experiences with them)...my doubts slightly rose after a Websearch I did a little while after that, but a few months before now.
I h∆te to say it but when it comes to therapy & other mental health services: at best, you get what you pay for. If the service is free then it probably won't be too effective.
Let's try, folks. See if we can get the old thread structure back. We can talk to Glen & the others who run Cups. What do you think, @VictoriaLove7 ? We should at least give it a shot. If they refuse to do so...then I'll decide whether to keep this account going or not. It's not like my life depends on my coming here, after all.
@slowdecline48 It's beyond frustrating. Nothing says to be quiet like having your posts deleted. Oh you did a we search too lol. Yeah those are kind of interesting aren't they? Tbh this was tried a few times. We talk and they give the usual spiel. "Change is hard and scary but blah blah blah" In the end they do what they want and that's the end. There's been quite a few people who unfortunately have left. Some people were ones that had been here pretty much since this place started. At the end of the day all we really are here is a number.
For the record I did read it, Twisty. Screenshot it too but right now I can't tell what's happening...still think one of my comments disappeared but I'm having a rough time keeping track of CupsLand activity ATM. You mentioned a couple of these things once before, if memory serves. You've been here a long time, haven't you? I haven't even been a member for five years yet.
@slowdecline48 Sorry for the delayed reply. I had to go out of town for a few days to take care of a few things. And navigating this place right now is harder than it should be and keeping up with conversations is impossible. I can't believe they thought doing things this way was a good idea
Okay, @VictoriaLove7 & anyone else who's reading this (you already know of it, @mytwistedsoul ) - I made a post about this technical issue here. Feel free to click on that & chime in. Heather225 came to answer, which is nice of her. I asked the necessary question, namely why was the comment thread structure changed to begin with. We deserve an answer for this confusion.
Perhaps you'd be interested, @CyclingThroughLife ?
@slowdecline48
Thanks....I'll follow this thread....I was trying to read and catch up on things in the "goals" thread this morning....I couldn't find where I left off, I found out I missed a lot of things....it was just generally annoying....
@mytwistedsoul
@VictoriaLove7
@CyclingThroughLife
@iloveyouxx
& anyone I missed -
We finally got a general answer here. Heather225 is the 2nd person of rank to say this; previously I talked to a Community Manager who gave a similar answer. It's probably legit, as I have noticed a fairly steady trickle of new members over the times I've logged in here. People are always showing up in the "Newbies" forum...a lot of teenagers with mental/emotional issues joining Cups. That makes sense since there are tons of teenagers with such problems these days, esp. since 2014--this has been thoroughly documented. So Heather's answer makes sense.
By now I have made it clear, I believe, that the old branching thread structure was better all around. The high muckamucks of 7Cups should be aware of members' reactions to this whole situation.
@slowdecline48
yes yes, I like the old version of branching of replies in forum post 😭 \('-'\)
@slowdecline48 Thanks for the update. Hopefully they get it fixed or figured out soon but I'm not gonna hold my breath
@VictoriaLove7 same. Things were fine the way they were
Errrgh...
It's about 0300...fell asleep in my office chair, woke up, went to bed, might've slept a little (hard to tell. Now I'm awake.
Yesterday I walked to the Ace Hardware place several blocks down from me. Took my hand truck with me after making sure the tires were aired up right... I was gonna buy a chainsaw because to clear some of the trees on my land, I need one. Plus at least one spare chain, files to sharpen it with, etc. Turns out that
- They were almost out of saws & didn't have the model I was interested in.
- A rather long convo with a local guy who owns a tree service business revealed that Stihl saws, while of good quality overall, have a few issues now that earlier models didn't suffer from. A key factor is the "Intellicarb" chip in today's models...another example of needless computerization.
- Said tree pro's professional opinion was to pick up a Husqvarna 440 instead. Apparently it's great for small-scale landowners like myself.
So I traveled all that way just to get some expert advice. Go figure.
I did not leave empty-handed, however. Got some other things I needed, plus a 25-lb. bag of lump charcoal.* I piled it all on the hand truck, tied it to the frame & hauled it home. And up the stairs to my place. Now I am paying for my foolishness, & will for the rest of Sunday at least...oh well. Sunday's a good day to rest anyway. That's how I avoid the church crowds.
Maybe it wasn't foolishness after all, since it qualifies as exercise. 🤷🏼♂️
@slowdecline48
Maybe it wasn't foolishness after all, since it qualifies as exercise. 🤷🏼♂️
In my quest to find more gratitude and positivity in my life, I feel if I can find something positive in other peoples situations, it may help me see my situations and be more grateful and positive as well......so.....as I was reading your post, I decided that I was going to give you some positive reinforcement about your "walk" to the hardware store by saying it wasn't a total waste because you got some exercise in with the walk, then there was your last line.....good for you for finding the positive in your trip.....
Look at this...the new thread structure hasn't been operational for very long yet. My thread about it in the Site Updates forum is barely four days old & it's gotten 35 upvotes, plus another post has a link to my thread as a source....
🤔 ...isn't that interesting. Seems like my post touched a nerve for quite a few members here. Will have to keep tabs on this situation as it unfolds.
Now as soon as the muscle soreness in my right arm is gone & the cut on my finger heals some more, I'll be capable again...maybe it's good that tomorrow is Columbus--no. Belay that. I almost forgot: it's politically incorrect to observe Columbus Day. We have to celebrate Indigenous People's Day now... Apparently, Columbus's capture & abduction of several Taino tribesmen was horrible & racist while, say, the Aztec displacement of & "flowery war" against neighboring peoples like the Tlaxcala was apparently A-okay.
But then, I'm a middle-aged straight "white" male. What do I know?
🤕
"f*** me sideways"... That's how it has been the last two days & nights.
Note to self: be careful about what you do to try to fix a sleep deficit.
Right now I'm not up to much, folks...chronic stuff, & it triggered a depressive episode. This s*** isn't over yet. Normal programming will resume when I have sufficient energy for it. 📺
I hate flare-ups.
I hate it when my flare-ups get "triggered" by environmental conditions...or by something I ate, esp. when I don't know exactly what set one off. Well...back to bed.
Life stinks.
Also, I gathered some intel on this place a couple nights ago, again... (First time was over a year ago)
Not all is sweetness & light in 7Cups. There is another side to the coin, a side that is rarely discussed by any Cupsian. Even then, the only part that's ever brought up is the ongoing issue of inappropriate messages to Listeners from pervy members. Some Listeners can be & have behaved badly as well, but that is almost never mentioned here. There are other issues as well but if I go into details, who knows...this post could get deleted for that. I could even get banned.
...it all makes me wonder if I should remain a citizen of CupsLand.
@slowdecline48 It's actually discussed quite a bit but that stuff gets deleted pretty soon after it's posted. They're pretty quick on clean up around here with those things. Wouldn't want anyone to get a clearer picture of the darker side
Which kind of fits why they've got the lesser positive post automatically getting minimized. It's all supposed to be happy happy joy joy around here
@mytwistedsoul
*** that I mean yeah be happy and stuff but don’t silence the sad and if you realize something’s wrong they could always do something to fix it like making becoming a listener a bit harder I know what it takes and it’s really just nothing it’s like being asked if a member is sad what’re you gonna do a) bully them b) (long complicated obviously correct answer) and it’s so easy to fake. a public news story about something that happened on 7cups got published and I can’t find it anywhere anymore
tbh if you’re actually really negative about the fact that you’re struggling on here not 100% but you’ll definitely get less people wanting to help you and this is supposed to be a mental health platform a safe space and environment and stuff but I mean not really it doesn’t feel like it.
you don’t have to reply sorry for being like mad I’m not actually mad just kind of upset about what 7cups has become or idk what it’s always been like but it’s definitely been getting worse over the years
@iloveyouxx There's a book on Amazon some past listener wrote about this place. There definitely is a dark side that's for sure.
@mytwistedsoul oh and some of your replies I can't seem to open?
@mytwistedsoul - @iloveyouxx has a point. That has long been an unsolved issue here, as I understand it. The "training" to become a Listener is almost nil. Apparently one can complete it in 15 minutes if one is quick on the keyboard. That's nowhere near good enough for a position that involves dealing with troubled people. Empathy is only one requirement...I would think a basic familiarity with types of mental illness & their symptoms is also a must. You don't have to be an expert psychologist but you should at least know about the major conditions like schizophrenia, depression & its indicators, etc.
One of the reasons why some members have had run-ins with Listeners is because, quite simply, not everyone who becomes one is cut out for the job. It's why I haven't become a Listener myself: I have compassion, sure, but not much patience...& I know it takes patience. Also, there are good ones here--I know because I've talked to a few--but they get burned out if they stay in it for too long. Anyone would. Dealing with mentally ill people is a demanding task, & no one has an infinite amount of empathy or mental endurance. Some people who sign on doubtless want to help at first. Those who aren't meant to be a Listener find out quickly, but not all of them have enough sense to quit right away...or they may not want to admit that they're not up to the demands. If you stay in a role for which you are unsuited then, guaranteed, you will become bitter & resentful soon enough.
@slowdecline48 Yeah it is pretty easy to become a listener. I was one for a couple years a few years ago. It is unbelievably stressful. I had people get upset because I wasn't available 24/7. There's a lot of people who aren't cut out to have that account you are absolutely right about that. There are some people who get the account with only bad intentions and treat this place as a dating site. The training is basically open book too. I mean if I can do it anyone can. I did however take it very seriously and I'd like to think that I did some good. In the end I couldn't deal with my own mental health and help anyone with theirs at the same time
@mytwistedsoul Weird...I can't see your & iloveyouxx's responses right now. Coincidence or not? If anything does get swept under the rug, they can only do that here in any case. Outside Cups, the Internet never forgets.
@slowdecline48
i saw that too and for other posts as well but seeing that everything I’ve said on here is just gone it’s not a coincidence and it just bothers me like it’s not some silly mistake and I want to be able to talk too it’s just messed up I might be off of cups for a while
@slowdecline48
i always knew this place had a kind of messed up side too. I do talk about it tho, I’m not scared of what could happen or what anyone could think, as someone who’s had almost 100 listeners now that I’ve actually talked to for at least a couple of weeks each there’re definitely some really horrible listeners. my first ever listener wasn’t a really great experience at all and the last listener I’ve talked to wasn’t much better, way too many of the listeners in between it’s not even that they were bad at listening but more that it felt like you’d see the same amount of creepiness on here as you would on an app/site that’s actually meant for that kind of stuff if that makes sense. It’s like they got on the wrong site or they just came here expecting that that’s what everyone would be like, I can’t actually talk about what kind of pms and links and images I saw not because I’m scared to but because I don’t like thinking about it too much but I got threatened, a lot tried using the “if you don’t I’m gonna k.ms” thing, I actually made close friends but they always had other intentions, I got triggered so bad sometimes it would affect me bad irl like id start shaking or id feel nauseous or faint or id have a panic attack etc it’s not that I couldn’t just block or report I could but it’s always unexpected and if I could i’d prevent it from happening before it affects me when I actually needed someone to talk to and I guess that’s why I don’t talk to listeners anymore. but yeah, you’re definitely right. It’s not all sweetness and light on 7cups and I’m not sure if I should stay either
@iloveyouxx I'm sorry you've had that happen too. It does make you feel sick when it happens. It's catches you off guard because it's so unexpected. I know for me it's just another reminder of why I don't talk about things with people anymore and why I don't look for listeners. I usually end up just being used by them in some way.
@mytwistedsoul
I’m sorry. honestly same and this is a time when I can’t really give advice I don’t do because I feel the exact same way, people are hard to trust at this point I might just have to assume and expect the worst every time so it’s less likely to hurt/affect me. people can be cruel I’m sorry maybe we are better off just not talking to (some?) people about some things
@iloveyouxx @slowdecline48
you can see our replies now^^
@slowdecline48
(you might already know but your forum “the display change” says not found, maybe you got it removed or idk but incase you didn’t know because I had a notification from it but it wouldn’t open and kept saying not found I think code 404)
Not Found
Oops! The content you're attempting to access could not be found. For assistance please contact the Support Desk.
@iloveyouxx I think that was a different one? Slow's is Here
@iloveyouxx I found it but not directly from this thread. You gotta go to the Site Updates forum, then look for the "the display change" thread. I don't think that was intentional. Right now their tech guys are trying to update the whole thing, so the website has been buggy for a few days.
@slowdecline48
probably yeah
@slowdecline48
sorry slow I’m venting all over your forum😅I just really would’ve wanted you to see what I’ve written and everything but it was gone before you got to, I’m going off to school now and maybe I will be off of cups for a couple of days or weeks but I probably will come back, wishing you the best <3 I hope they do fix..all of this as soon as they could
@iloveyouxx 😆 I didn't see it until now, little one...been busy losing the last of my privacy because one of the nicer (& beautiful) ppl in this community kept wanting to see what I look like. We men are such fools. D**ned fools. It's true, you know... All you gotta do is look cute & bat your eyelashes, & you'll convince a guy to do almost anything if you know how.
I’m back from school and came on here to check my notifications one la.st time and they rem.oved what you wrote again soul. I can’t see what you replied with and what you said, I feel like that was the la.st thing I needed to see, I’m tr.ying to see if putting random dots in between random words will maybe pre.vent whatever it is from det.ecting anything negative or idk whatever it does, so that maybe this’ll reach at least?
@slowdecline48
@iloveyouxx Is it that it's rem.oved or just per.manently coll.apsed again? I was doi.ng the dots last we.ek. Was sor.t of fun.ny before now I'm n.ot as amu.sed. Is it just me or this shou.ldn't this be that ha.rd to fi.x? I'm no.t the most comp.uter litera.te person but it see.ms like foru.ms are pretty bas.ic?
@mytwistedsoul
mhm I meant it was per.manently coll.apsed, because it wa.sn’t as necessary then but now we do it because we’re sca.red our posts are gonna get deleted/permanently colla.psed, I’ve talked to a lot of adm.ins before and like…higher people on cups if that makes sense and it’s really not that com.plicated I don.’t think it should take days
@iloveyouxx I rea.lly wish they wou.ld have just left well enou.gh alon.e. Why make everything more complic.ated than it needs to be and once again where is the transpa.rency? W.hy not some warning that they're planning on making chan.ges?
@mytwistedsoul @iloveyouxx As of now, I can read everything in here. I might've been right earlier: the comments that "disappeared" were because the suppressor algorithm was buggy, too. But everything is apparently straightened out...the branching thread structure is back, though it looks slightly different. More compact now.
But I'm sure this is temporary. New people keep joining...that's what we need to remember. Cups does not have a static population & it is increasing overall. More people here every week. Sooner or later the organization will have to buy another server or something...I dunno how they'll do it, as servers are expensive machines. (Am still unclear on how Cups earns a profit, or at least pays for its expenses)
@slowdecline48 I'm not sure if you saw this page. It might answer your money question
Somewhat r∆ndom obse.rv∆tions:
- I n€ver get eno.ugh sleep. (Th!s isn't news but it b©thers m.e.
- Th€ H1ndu m€mbers have been m∆king a b1g splash in the R€ligi0n & Sp!ritu∆lity f0rum lately.
@slowdecline48 @iloveyouxx
Hey we can see the hi.dden ones now I thi.nk?
Well well well...ain't this nice:
The price of gold per oz. as of now. It's getting so close to $2,700 per!... 😁😃
Paying taxes only makes sense when you get decent public services in return.
@slowdecline48 Omg this is so true!
What else are we paying them for...right?
@slowdecline48 Lol that's a loaded question 😅
@mytwistedsoul 😆 I guess so...I thought it a straightforward one. The first purpose of a government is to maintain order within its territory, to prevent chaos from breaking out & destroying the society that inhabits said territory. That's the most important service rendered, right there. Other services would include infrastructure (roads, sewers, licenses for driving & other things) plus things like health care if you're politically liberal &/or take an expansive view of government's role. All of the foregoing is why we pay taxes: so we can have civilization.
But if the government does not provide decent services for the taxes it collects...
@slowdecline48 Tbh I used to think it was pretty straightforward too. But I'm finding as I get older and pay more attention to the governmental goings on that are going on ( say that five times fast 😜) I'm seeing that too much of our hard earned money is being used in ways that I don't agree with. Personally I think the government has it's nose in too much of my business