my journal: various subjects, opinionating, CW at times
The title explains itself.
If you're interested in the ramblings of a middle-aged man with chronic conditions who, at times, sees things a little too clearly for his own good, then read on.
Sometimes I get political, but it won't be all the time.
I don't mind comments in general but if you're going to differ with what I write, that's fine--as long as you can explain your position clearly & reasonably. Rants, shouting & general incoherence will be ignored or flagged, depending on the situation. Try to remember that not everyone else in this world holds your beliefs.
Every so often I may post art or snapshots of projects I'm working on.
If you're still interested after reading all the above, great. (I do wonder at how much time you have on your hands, though)
As usual I can't sleep normal hours... "NFFN"* Will crash after the sun rises, like a proper bat. So we'll keep it brief:
- Yesterday was a Meniére's day, but late in the afternoon I got on my bike & rode to where my pharmacy is anyway. On the way there I had a full-on flareup. Muy brutale. ☠️ I half-sat on the top tube & slumped over the handlebars, arms neck & head dangling limp...but I did not fall. The old bike held me, bless her. Eventually I arrived, got the medicine & vegetables, rode home slowly. Stopped for dinner on the way because I had no choice. Remember this: while physical pain can be horrible, you can handle it. Pain should be treated, but not feared. It is unworthy of your fear.
- Also got pulled over by local cops when I was about 3/5ths of the way home. Cyclists are supposed to ride on the sidewalk, apparently...the bike gutter is reserved for e-bikes & any bicycle otherwise motorized. This is the first area I've lived in with such a law.
- Have read the occasional complaint about bad Listeners, here & there. After reading the most recent responses to my quiery thread...I'm starting to understand them. Not everyone with Listener status here should have it.
@slowdecline48 How are you doing today? Did the flare up pass? I hope the cops let you off with a warning and didn't give you a ticket
Hi Twisty! It passed eventually, thank you for asking. No flareup has lasted forever thus far, though I have had them last for more than a day at a time. It usually helps when I get something to eat...as long as the food doesn't have too much sodium in it.
Re the Listeners: that's sad to hear. Guess I'll stick with the few I've chatted with so far, & not try to find any others.
Almost forgot: yeah, the gendarmes let me off with a warning. One of them said he was concerned in that I was riding in the bike lane* at night, & I could get clipped by a car coming up behind me if the driver isn't observant. The cop was right, but I thought I was legally required to be there. *shrug*
*it's the gutter with a white strip painting about 30" from the curb. We cyclists call it a "bike gutter".
@slowdecline48 It's good you were able to get to a restaurant and then get home. Have you ever found yourself in a spot where you couldn't get somewhere that you could wait til it passed? Like if it would get real bad. Do you just push through and do what you have to do? No pressure to answer that of course
@mytwistedsoul Yes, I have been in such a situation...when I owned my last car, I had flareups while driving at least a couple times (probably more, but twice is what I remember). In both instances what I did was not allow panic, focus on what's in front of me & on staying in the lane, & not get near any other car until the worst of it passed & I could figure out what to do. I did miss an exit off the freeway the first time but I didn't care...when you're having a flare the objective is to stay safe & not hit anything. Missing exits/turns/etc. is no big deal. The 2nd time I don't recall very much, but eventually I pulled over somewhere.
I made the right decision both times, but I was also lucky.
@slowdecline48 You are a very cool and level headed person! To not panic on a freeway. I'm sure the cars were moving at a pretty good clip too. Safety is definitely the name of the game in that situation. But holy **** that would have been scary! Makes sense to not worry about making the exit - just keep it going straight and don't change lanes
It was scary. ☹️ I got through it well enough, but...
In mid-2020, my car started to die. Can't complain too much, as I bought it for $500 & it lasted for over three years despite its age & mileage, but still...talk about Murphy's Law! Anyway I realized the old Saturn would nickel-&-dime me to death, so I junked it. Since then I haven't bought another car. Would like to get a truck but with inflation, used auto prices are ridiculous now. And truth be told, the thought of having a full-strength flareup while driving again is frightening...how many could I go through before getting in a crash? Would I wind up completely crippled? Dead? Paraplegic? Would I injure or kill an innocent driver &/or his/her passenger(s), if any? For something like that, I could easily face manslaughter & criminal negligence charges...not cool.
All this, & I still want to move out of town & live on a little piece of land for peace of mind & to be left alone. Might be difficult to pull off.
Have you ever spent years & years in pursuit of something to which you believed--knew--you were born to do, only to question it because of changes in your own life? And in the world around you?
It's disconcerting, man...
I might've been slightly naïve in the beginning. In retrospect I'm not too surprised. But, Moses on a pogo stick...what a letdown. Even in a community meant to be a sanctuary & place of support like this one, someone can set himself up as an enemy. And will, sooner or later. Cups is made up of humans, after all. And humans are, well, the same way they've always been, most likely always will be.
I don't currently own one but as I've done so many times before, I'm thinking of that t-shirt I saw decades ago: "the more people I meet, the more I like my dog."
It doesn't matter who are, what you say or what you do...just by being yourself, you will inspire antipathy (or at least genial contempt) in somebody, sooner or later.
In more positive news, the price of silver has risen a little over 9% in a year's time...
Is it weird to feel sad about the Byzantine empire being wiped out?
I'm not Eastern Orthodox Christian, nor have I ever been. So I don't have a religious motive. But from what I've read about the "Eastern Roman empire", while it wouldn't quite measure up to modern secular standards it was a truly great civilization for a good few centuries. It was certainly more refined & sophisticated than its replacement.
Snapshots of my commentary. I rediscovered Yahoo news (when you open an email acct, you can comment on news articles). Not a top-tier source but as a general overview, it works. My stuff has the purple lines on either side. Now if I can only keep myself from wasting time in online pseudo-brawls with people I don't even know...
@slowdecline48 Lol it's hard to hold your tongue (in the case fingers) sometimes isn't it? They push those buttons and sometimes you just have to let them have it
Before I forget: thank you, @tearstruck & @iloveyouxx, for all the "hearts" on my posts. Am not sure why you like so much of what I write here, but it's flattering.
@slowdecline48
awwe. I hope it’s okay to write here.🤍I have seen alot of your posts🤍and- I feel like we have alot of differences but I do relate in some ways and to the ones I don’t- I understand🤍thankyou for tagging me!🤍I do genuinely like what you write :P🤍I feel like you’re alot more..realistic? than some of the people I know🤍and I really love that- because you don’t exactly see it everywhere now :')🤍but yeah seeing this made me happy. I haven’t gotten tagged in awhile :0🤍I hope you’re having a nice day- or that tomorrow is better for you🤍
@slowdecline48
Oh haha I guess I just read a lot of forums and upvote random things, also can relate to some of the chronic illness stuff xD :)
@slowdecline48
i came over to catch up … since I have been gone. I enjoy your writings … 🙌🙌🙌🙌
...aaaaaannnd I was up most of the night. Again.
If I fall asleep around 10:30, I inevitably wake up before 1 a.m. & stay up until after the sun rises, waiting for the crash.
Most of my life I've been happy to be nocturnal. Now it's getting old AF.
I sometimes go down online rabbit holes, too...good thing I'm not into conspicuous consumption. If I was, late-night escapades on Amaz0n, Et$y & wherever would leave me penniless.
@slowdecline48 I relate to this. Crash about 12-12:30 and up about 3:30-4. It does get old. I get alittle jealous hearing people talk about how they slept 10-12 hours. Does that really happen? People can really sleep that long without being knocked unconscious? Sounds made up tbh
@mytwistedsoul Possibly...I have a hard time believing it, too. If people did sleep through the night, it was back in the days before electric lights, indoor lighting, glowing screens & 24-hour everything. For most of history people lived by natural rhythms; then the industrial revolution happened & in > two centuries we all forgot how.
* < two centuries...I never get the inequality symbol right. Not a math expert. 🤦🏼♂️
@slowdecline48 Math's not a strong point of mine either lol
@mytwistedsoul haha I sleep that much but its poor quality sleep I guess, I still need more but thats chronic fatigue XD
@tearstruck I hear you on the poor quality. I'm sorry you have to deal with this too 😞
Did you ever start cooking something that takes a few hours to make, then get tired about halfway through?
Moses in a jockstrap, I'm so fed up with this 💩...
Lately I haven't even had the urge to paint, or draw or anything.
As of four minutes ago.
Well well well...the NASDAQ seems to be humming along today. It is one of the more reliable indexes for the US stock market itself, so that's good news.
F**k...got a headache again. Shouldn't have had that cup of coffee. 🤕
On a more positive note, there are far worse vices to have. Even for us chronic folk.
Hombre!...even platinum has risen lately:
As of about 20 minutes ago. It's gone up 6.32% in a month's time, even with the dip through the 2nd half of April. This could be for a number of reasons...(I suspect more than one is at work)
Usually the price platinum doesn't move like those of gold & silver. Most people just don't want it as much as the two main precious metals, so markets reflect that. But with the national debt getting out of control the way it is (Democrats: tax & spend. Republicans: borrow & spend), the more forward-thinking among us are waiting for the other shoe to drop. Traditionally, gold is the main hedge against inflation with silver being the secondary (but still necessary) hedge. 🤔 I wonder if some people are starting to treat platinum the same way...
Random Thoughts
Tonight I lost my earbuds...the usual pair, that is. Good thing I got the extras from my laptop/sketchpad bag. The 2nd extra pair are in the bike bag. I still want a couple more to stash someplace.
@MistyMagic mentioned custom earbuds in a different thread...sounds like a great idea. It also sounds expensive. I'll have to check, but am fairly sure I can't buy any this month. Got expenses as it is.
I wanted to ride today (yesterday--it's 0-dark-hundred now) but it was raining off & on. Maybe when I get up in a few hours if it's not too hot. Now I remember the days when I rode for miles & didn't care about the weather... I hate to say it but chronic illness + aging will turn you into a candy-a.s.s.
OTOH I first learned how to ride when I was nine years old, was a regular cycle commuter in two of the cities I lived in, have ridden in driving rain, snow (yes, really--the axles froze every time I stopped), have had two bikes stolen from me as an adult, gone down a bunch of times & the 9th or so time I did, I was almost run over in the street--& still held onto the s°°°ty retail job I was in at the time.* (It was not boring) Though I don't ride like I used to, I still do it despite being crippled with permanent head pain, vertigo & tinnitus. At this point, what more do I have to prove?
Had an afternoon appointment that was 🐂💩 but one of the staff generously cancelled it after I'd been there for too long. Will have to check my account when I get up. It wasn't a completely wasted trip, however...I found a pizza place shortly afterward. It was a bit pricey but with inflation for for over three years now, what isn't?
...I know I'll find those old earbuds only after buying a backup pair...
I have no specific statements about current affairs at this time. We all know the world is screwed up, always has been & probably always will be. Humanity can't help being the way it is.
...lately I've sort of been feeling like this song.
*Not for very long after that, however. Nearly getting killed has a way of clarifying one's priorities.
@slowdecline48 Glad you found them! Don't you just love how easy it is to lose stuff? 😕
Excellent song btw! CCR is awesome!
@slowdecline48
Mine were ergonomic not custom, I found them on Amazon for £12.99 English pounds.