my journal: various subjects, opinionating, CW at times

@slowdecline48 Haha, I've been creeping by, like a lil fly heh. Wait? You invest in stocks too?! It's been awhile for me tbh.

@ImpudentIncognito Indeed I do! Don't get the wrong idea--I am not Warren Buffett or Bill Gates. Not even close. 😄 (If I was then my lifestyle would be way different, though not luxurious) Right now I mostly hold a few different ETFs & some metals. Have thought about those 10-year Treasury bonds...now would be the time to buy one, what with the current interest rate being as high as it is. Wish I'd bought some cryptos back when they were just starting...missed that opportunity completely. 🤦🏼‍♂️ D'oh!

Are you into any kind of stocks in particular? Any sector of the market?

@slowdecline48 glad I'm not the only one with copper laying around!  been saving it since the plandemic 😁

@mytwistedsoul Do you think it was planned from the beginning? I didn't believe any of that at first...now I'm undecided. It is true that the Chinese government had a huge influence on the WHO, & probably still does. I definitely believe the lab leak theory, as it fits the general lack of quality control in that country. Why else are factories in Shenzhen & other cities infamous for turning out goods that don't last that long? Also, this normally isn't reported on in the West but their vast infrastructure projects sometimes fail because when they are built, it's often slapdash & without sufficient safety standards.

@slowdecline48 Honestly? I do. I wasn't sure at first either but the more I looked into things the more it looked like it was planned. I think they wanted to make people afraid and see how far they could push their agenda. Half the time they didn't even follow their own rules. They've changed their story so many times. I probably sound like a conspiracy theorist but that's ok. Soros and even Gates has made many mentions about how the world population needs to be decreased. I've done alot of research - way too much research probably lol and crawled around in the darker places the web has to offer and omg don't get me started on that little keebler elf Fauchi and the crap he's been doing (looking over my shoulder nervously 😅) I don't trust the government. They lie and get caught in the lies and lie their way out. They do not now nor have they ever had our best interests in mind. Reagan said it best when he said that the scariest words ever heard are - I'm from the government - I'm here to help 

*nod* I don't trust the government either, man. We definitely see eye to eye on that.

The basic problem is that those who are most attracted to power & will work hardest to get it are usually the people who are the least trustworthy with it. I don't know how to solve this problem...it may not be solvable.

@slowdecline48 I think that's the truest thing ever said! 

@slowdecline48 Took me a little but I just realized I probably shouldn't have said all that here 😅 I probably got us both put on some watchlist somewhere. Satellites are probably linking up while I type this 👀 It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you

@mytwistedsoul I wouldn't worry too much about it, man. Neither one of us are important enough for the fedgov to go after. Also, neither of us are anywhere close to fitting in the most suspicious demographics. From the kinda stuff I used to see on the daily when I had an account on Instaspam, I'd say Uncle Sam's alphabet soup agencies have wayyyy more to keep track of than a couple of disabled weirdos like us. 😏

No doubt it is partly my fault, to some extent...no one has a personality that everyone will like without exception. But it must be said: so far, the Pen Pals forum hasn't worked out too well for me.

I wonder if that has also been true for other members here?

If my impression is correct, the threads that have the most staying power in Pen Pals are those made & posted in by the younger folks....maybe it's an age-related thing.

Errrrgghhh...

🤕 ☠️

@slowdecline48 You ok? 

Twisty - I had a headache, but thanks for asking. The usual flareup 💩. I get those a lot. Was laying in bed when I typed that noise 😆

@slowdecline48 That sucks. I hope it's better now. Headaches are horrible. Hey type all the noise you need to lol

You know they say swearing eases pain 😁 I'm a proud user of four letter words myself. Sentence enhancers I call them. Cups doesn't approve 🤪

Today was strange...

Why did gold suddenly drop last week? Today all the stock indexes finished up lower, too...it's kinda weird.

Platinum hasn't been doing much overall, as usual. But for much of last week the price was rather choppy.

Upon further thought, if I believed in karma--which I don't, for a few reasons--I would say that I am the karmic result of more than one previous lifeform simultaneously.

The above might sound strange to someone who believes in karma. How could it be, since a person's life is supposed to be the result of his/her/its conduct in a previous life or time? The way I figure it, the results include my chronic issues. My brain mostly works pretty well aside from its depressive tendencies, so in a previous life it would've been an imperfect but generally virtuous being, like a well-bred, trained & successful dog...maybe a friendly Labrador retriever mix that was great at bringing in downed birds & had protective ability, but sometimes shat in his owner's bedroom. 💩🐶

Now my joints & tendons & intestines, on the other hand, would've all been less than good...such as members of a professional burglary ring. Such people are great at what they do, but that is all you can say for them.

My ears would have to have been a truly bad example in a previous life...like a petty drug dealer who sells to teenagers, or maybe a CEO who not only embezzled from his company but was married & kept mistresses on the side--& knocked up at least two of 'em.

"Self-acquaintance is a rare condition."

- Robert Henri

"Self-acquaintance is not always so desirable."

- me

Also, I left the Pen Pals forum about two minutes ago. Am out of patience, since no one else holds up their end.

"I am convinced that writing is a kind of illness. Who would want to spend his life sitting in a room, putting words on paper? It's a strange occupation. You got to have a great taste for solitude."

- Paul Auster

Auster wrote > 30 novels among other things, & died this past Tuesday of complications from lung cancer. R.I.P.

Why is the flying Philadelphia f*** was I mentioned/tagged in a thread which I am unable to access??

@slowdecline48 I get that too sometimes. Idk if it's a glitch or what but it's annoying af

"According to analysts, gold investors need more clarity from the Federal Reserve as a rate cut this summer becomes increasingly unlikely.

Investors have been questioning the Federal Reserve's monetary policy since Wednesday after the central bank left interest rates unchanged in a range between 5.25% and 5.50%. The central bank signaled that it wasn't ready to cut rates as inflation remains stubbornly high."

- excerpt from the full article on Kitco, see here

I hate to admit it, but the author is right. The price per oz. has been wiggling at or slightly above $2,300 for a few days now. It's still a bit higher than it was in February, which is good. Am waiting for a market correction to hit all the big stock exchanges...I still think that could happen later this year. Election results will surely have an effect.

[CW: honest thoughts about the current war & religion]

Ya know, once in a while I wish I wasn't so unsuited to the R&S forum. (I also wish the forum rules allowed for discussions of substance there. They don't & can't because of the subject matter. If wishes were horses...)

In that forum, the Prayer Request thread is one of the more active ones. I'd really like to post a request for the Israeli hostages Hamas is still holding captive...but I know better than to try. Because I know what would ensue.

There are too many Muslims in the R&S Subcommunity for me to express my honest thoughts there at this time, & probably for the foreseeable future.

The technology has evolved incredibly fast; the current great powers are not those of earlier centuries, but the age-old conflict is still going, just as it has since the early 7th century C.E. As I've said so many times before: everything changes, & everything stays the same.

An eon ago, one of the better professors I knew once told me "don't let the world get you down". Easy to say...but sometimes, so hard to do.

My work is never done.

As usual I can't sleep normal hours... "NFFN"* Will crash after the sun rises, like a proper bat. So we'll keep it brief:

1. Yesterday was a Meniére's day, but late in the afternoon I got on my bike & rode to where my pharmacy is anyway. On the way there I had a full-on flareup. Muy brutale. ☠️ I half-sat on the top tube & slumped over the handlebars, arms neck & head dangling limp...but I did not fall. The old bike held me, bless her. Eventually I arrived, got the medicine & vegetables, rode home slowly. Stopped for dinner on the way because I had no choice. Remember this: while physical pain can be horrible, you can handle it. Pain should be treated, but not feared. It is unworthy of your fear.
2. Also got pulled over by local cops when I was about 3/5ths of the way home. Cyclists are supposed to ride on the sidewalk, apparently...the bike gutter is reserved for e-bikes & any bicycle otherwise motorized. This is the first area I've lived in with such a law.
3. Have read the occasional complaint about bad Listeners, here & there. After reading the most recent responses to my quiery thread...I'm starting to understand them. Not everyone with Listener status here should have it.

@slowdecline48 How are you doing today? Did the flare up pass? I hope the cops let you off with a warning and didn't give you a ticket

Hi Twisty! It passed eventually, thank you for asking. No flareup has lasted forever thus far, though I have had them last for more than a day at a time. It usually helps when I get something to eat...as long as the food doesn't have too much sodium in it.

Re the Listeners: that's sad to hear. Guess I'll stick with the few I've chatted with so far, & not try to find any others.

Almost forgot: yeah, the gendarmes let me off with a warning. One of them said he was concerned in that I was riding in the bike lane* at night, & I could get clipped by a car coming up behind me if the driver isn't observant. The cop was right, but I thought I was legally required to be there. *shrug*

*it's the gutter with a white strip painting about 30" from the curb. We cyclists call it a "bike gutter".

@slowdecline48 It's good you were able to get to a restaurant and then get home. Have you ever found yourself in a spot where you couldn't get somewhere that you could wait til it passed? Like if it would get real bad. Do you just push through and do what you have to do? No pressure to answer that of course

@mytwistedsoul Yes, I have been in such a situation...when I owned my last car, I had flareups while driving at least a couple times (probably more, but twice is what I remember). In both instances what I did was not allow panic, focus on what's in front of me & on staying in the lane, & not get near any other car until the worst of it passed & I could figure out what to do. I did miss an exit off the freeway the first time but I didn't care...when you're having a flare the objective is to stay safe & not hit anything. Missing exits/turns/etc. is no big deal. The 2nd time I don't recall very much, but eventually I pulled over somewhere.

I made the right decision both times, but I was also lucky.

@slowdecline48 You are a very cool and level headed person! To not panic on a freeway. I'm sure the cars were moving at a pretty good clip too. Safety is definitely the name of the game in that situation. But holy **** that would have been scary! Makes sense to not worry about making the exit - just keep it going straight and don't change lanes

It was scary. ☹️ I got through it well enough, but...

In mid-2020, my car started to die. Can't complain too much, as I bought it for $500 & it lasted for over three years despite its age & mileage, but still...talk about Murphy's Law! Anyway I realized the old Saturn would nickel-&-dime me to death, so I junked it. Since then I haven't bought another car. Would like to get a truck but with inflation, used auto prices are ridiculous now. And truth be told, the thought of having a full-strength flareup while driving again is frightening...how many could I go through before getting in a crash? Would I wind up completely crippled? Dead? Paraplegic? Would I injure or kill an innocent driver &/or his/her passenger(s), if any? For something like that, I could easily face manslaughter & criminal negligence charges...not cool.

All this, & I still want to move out of town & live on a little piece of land for peace of mind & to be left alone. Might be difficult to pull off.

Have you ever spent years & years in pursuit of something to which you believed--knew--you were born to do, only to question it because of changes in your own life? And in the world around you?

It's disconcerting, man...

I might've been slightly naïve in the beginning. In retrospect I'm not too surprised. But, Moses on a pogo stick...what a letdown. Even in a community meant to be a sanctuary & place of support like this one, someone can set himself up as an enemy. And will, sooner or later. Cups is made up of humans, after all. And humans are, well, the same way they've always been, most likely always will be.

I don't currently own one but as I've done so many times before, I'm thinking of that t-shirt I saw decades ago: "the more people I meet, the more I like my dog."

It doesn't matter who are, what you say or what you do...just by being yourself, you will inspire antipathy (or at least genial contempt) in somebody, sooner or later.

In more positive news, the price of silver has risen a little over 9% in a year's time...

Is it weird to feel sad about the Byzantine empire being wiped out?

I'm not Eastern Orthodox Christian, nor have I ever been. So I don't have a religious motive. But from what I've read about the "Eastern Roman empire", while it wouldn't quite measure up to modern secular standards it was a truly great civilization for a good few centuries. It was certainly more refined & sophisticated than its replacement.

Snapshots of my commentary. I rediscovered Yahoo news (when you open an email acct, you can comment on news articles). Not a top-tier source but as a general overview, it works. My stuff has the purple lines on either side. Now if I can only keep myself from wasting time in online pseudo-brawls with people I don't even know...

@slowdecline48 Lol it's hard to hold your tongue (in the case fingers) sometimes isn't it? They push those buttons and sometimes you just have to let them have it

Yep. And sometimes someone else feels the same way about you, & then the viciously pointless cycle begins. Which is why I try not to get too involved 😂